Jamison Cupp 9/17/06
One late night my mom and I stayed up watching old movies. It was around twelve o’clock in the morning we were laying on the couch in our pajamas under a nice warm blanket. My dad had to work the next morning and my baby brother was in his crib sleeping. I was about nine years old and was happy that summer was back and I could continue my late
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This is definitely on the right track. I'm wondering if you want to reach your "realization" in the Intro, or just work your way into it. Could you stop at "My mom was very excited because she loves Audrey Hepburn?" (I would work on showing that rather than "telling" it though). What about something like: Snuggled under the blanket, munching on the salty popcorn, we flipped through the chanels for several minutes until I heard Mom gasp and drop the remote. She'd found it. I looked at the screen and there was "My Fair Lady" singing about a room somwhere, far away from the cold night air"
Don't do that exactly, but try something similar in your own words. Then, leave your realization (that you admire her) to emerge later.
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