Team AU, prompt 1: What’s wrong with being naked?
Title: Story
Pairing/Group: Matsumoto Jun/Ninomiya Kazunari (Arashi)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Summary: Nino is a novelist. Jun is his manager. This is the story of how they fall in love.
Notes:
1. Naked: With no qualification or concealment; With no defence, protection or shield.
2. Thank you to the hand holders and the beta. I have made some edits after sending it to the beta, so all my mistakes are my own and not hers.
Matsumoto Jun meets Ninomiya Kazunari on a wet Saturday morning with the pitter pattering of the rain against the apartment’s window as soundtrack.
Jun introduces himself as Nino’s new manager and hands his namecard to the other man, who seems more interested in shuffling the trump cards he has in his hands rather than responding to social courtesies. Jun’s card itself is a work of art - it has his name typed out in beautiful, cursive, royal purple characters with his role and contact details in another equally classy font underneath.
“Nino,” Sakurai Sho, head of the novels section, sighs audibly, “Stop chasing managers away.”
“Pick a card,” Nino tells Jun instead.
Jun finds himself oddly charmed.
__
Nino watches as Jun pulls a card slightly out with his thumb and index finger, and notes how the artificial lights in his house are reflected by buffed and well taken care of nails. Their eyes meet for a spilt second and Jun seizes the chance to tap the card back into the deck before pulling out another one quickly. He smirks as he holds the card to his chest.
“I choose this one,”
Nino decides that he likes Jun’s splayed hands on his white dress shirt and loves the look of challenge that is shining in his eyes. Responding with a smirk of his own, Nino makes Jun confirm the card that he has chosen before directing him to return it to the deck. He revels in Jun’s frown as he fails to locate the card after the deck is shuffled.
“There is a missing card?” Nino says and Jun raises a skeptical eyebrow at him, “Shall we check the box instead?”
Nino reaches out for the box on the coffee table, peeking at how Jun’s silver ring catches the apartment’s light from the corner of his eye, as he pulls out the lone card that is sitting inside the box.
The Jack of hearts.
Jun, Jack, J. Nino thinks it’s a beautiful coincidence.
__
Jun picks up Nino’s novels on his way home so that he can find out more about the author he is managing. He has heard of Ninomiya Kazunari by reputation but has never actually read any of his books. Jun’s preferred leisure readings are usually English or French classics (they have beautiful imagery, he claims) rather than the modern Japanese settings that Nino usually writes about. To be very honest with himself, he is expecting Nino’s novels to turn out to be typical societal commentary novels criticizing the decadence of the modern world with a side dish of romance.
In other words, boring.
Jun ends up surprising himself because two pages into Nino’s debut novel, Secrets, he finds himself grabbing a highlighter and marking lines that fascinate him while annotating the book with comments of his own. That night, he falls asleep with Nino’s second novel, Dreams , on his face.
Jun’s next few nights are spent in awe of how Nino manages to write from the perspectives of so many different people - a criminal, a child, a housewife, a retired engineer etc. - with all of them revealing so many sides of the novelist himself. As he reads, he recalls the quirky charm that he has sensed during their first meeting and tries to reconcile it with the man that is revealed through the writing - a man with an eye for details, sharp comments, clever humour, and a slight melancholy that transcends through it all. Nino’s language is unpretentious yet strangely touching. It uses none of those long lists of beautiful metaphors that Jun loves, but for some reason that he can't understand, it seems to be able to transport him to Nino’s world like how Jane Austen transport him to 18th century England.
Jun has foolishly thought that he would be sick of Nino’s books by his third or fourth novel - experience tells him that very few authors manage to break new grounds after a bestseller or two - but instead of getting predictable, Nino’s books get more interesting and more addictive. It makes Jun want to find out more about the author himself, his life story, his thoughts, his likes and dislikes, and just all about him .
Jun feels like he has stepped into a trap.
___
When Nino opens the door for Jun, he notices that the apartment is pitch black, save the light coming from the small DS on the couch.
“You are going to kill your eyes this way,” Jun comments as Nino flicks the light switch on for his visitor.
“This is me being economically friendly. Plus, the street lights are enough anyway,” Nino answers. “Judging from your contact lenses, turning on all the lights doesn’t seem to have done you any good, anyway.”
How did he know?
“If you look at a person’s eyes carefully, you will know,” Nino can’t help but snigger at Jun’s bewildered face.
“How did you even know…”
“I always try to think ahead,” Nino replies enigmatically. “Actually, I really want to get back to my game, so let’s get this over and done with.”
Jun feels the way the conversation turns and crashes into a dead end, denying him entry into Nino’s heart. The more Nino tries to shield himself, Jun realizes, the more curious he becomes. Who exactly is Nino? What else is there inside him, which is not reflected in his actions and writings? It’s as though a deep part of Nino’s subconscious is calling to Jun’s, daring him to probe and find out more. It has been a long time since someone has piqued his interest so much, Jun thinks to himself as he reaches for his briefcase. This is going to be a tough one.
But Jun happens to really like challenges.
___
“Nino,” Jun’s voice, deep and level, comes through the phone, “It’s already 10:02,”
“Yes, yes, I am working on it, “ Nino replies nonchalantly, hiding the chills going down his spine. There is a hidden threat in that deep voice, he can feel the amount of control Jun is exercising to keep his voice level and it makes Nino wonder what will happen if he strips Jun of that control. Will he scream? Will he use violence? Or maybe, Nino wonders to himself, Jun may be the type of person who will break down and cry.
“Your manuscript is late. The editors are waiting, the printers are calling, and you are going to get everyone into trouble.”
“Your exaggerations don’t work on me, Matsumoto,” Nino says calmly, experience gained from years of working with managers. “The editors don’t need that long to edit my work. The printers will only start printing two weeks later.”
Nino cuts the call and turns off his phone.
___
Jun shows up at Nino’s house, pressing the doorbell only to find no corresponding sound emerging from inside. Frowning, he begins to knock at the door.
“You are a persistent bastard,” Nino says, when he finally lets Jun in.
“I just happen to respect deadlines that are set,” Jun says, rubbings his knuckles in a way that reminds Nino of a boxer finishing his fight. Serves him right, Nino says in his head.
“Your doorbell is broken,” he informs Nino, leaning against the wall, arms and legs crossed like he is posing for a camera.
“Fixing it is expensive, diva .”
“Then I will get someone to do it, brat,“ Jun responds quickly as he walks over to the couch with the intention of turning on Nino’s cellphone, which is lying there. Nino, knowing exactly what the other has been planning, grabs Jun’s wrist to stop him. The manager finds himself noticing the roughness of Nino’s fingers against his skin and how the author’s fingers are not long enough to wrap around his wrist completely. Jun looks at Nino, their eyes meeting for a moment, and something that Jun can’t name passes between their gazes.
Jun thinks he may have just seen loneliness swirling in Nino’s brown eyes and it makes him want to reach out and hold him in his arms. It makes him want to stay beside Nino and purge the sadness away. The strength of Jun’s own emotions scares him a little as he quickly blinks his mind back into reality. The novelist must have felt something, as well, because he hurriedly releases his grip on Jun and tears his gaze from Jun’s. The vulnerability in Nino’s eyes is completely gone when Jun looks again.
“I turn the phone off because the sound is too sharp for my ears,” Nino explains softly, in a tone that indicates that he doesn’t want to be probed further.
Jun wants to know more.
___
Nino hands in his manuscript for his next novel one week later.
Jun gets reprimanded for not “controlling his author properly”.
The book gets released on the scheduled day anyway.
___
Nino gets another contract for a new book and Jun, being his responsible self, comes by to check on Nino's progress once in a while (Jun also learns that Nino habitually turns off his phone when he writes, not just before deadlines), but all he sees is Nino playing games on various different consoles - how many does that guy actually have, Jun wonders to himself - instead of writing.
“What are you wearing? Do you think you are some strip teaser?” Nino comments when he opens the door with one hand while the other is clutching a DS, planning to restart a new game. Such loud fashion, Nino thinks to himself, like he is trying to distract people from seeing something else altogether. It does make Nino wonder though - if he manages to take away the glamour that surrounds Jun, what will he see in the end?
“This is the newest fashion; if you can’t appreciate it, then so be it.”
“Sure, bright purple glittery jackets are always in fashion,” Nino replies, curling up on his couch with his DS once again. Jun doesn’t even bother asking about the novel.
In his head, Jun tries to solve the mystery of the writer who has kept him awake for the past few weeks, and this gamer who seems only to care about winning and leveling up in his online adventures. It will be easier to think that the two of them are different people altogether but Jun knows for sure that that is not true. It then makes him wonder what is the thing that connects the two. Nino is definitely hiding parts of himself- there is no way someone can write such impressive books without being impressive himself - but it feels like Nino has laid out a maze for anyone who tries to get close, to trick them into getting lost so that they will never be able to find his heart. But why?
Self-preservation, Jun supplies the answer himself. It is about not letting anyone see you bare and unprotected. If Jun wants to be really honest with himself, it is not his business to bother with Nino as long as his manuscripts come in as they should. But for some reason, Jun just wants to know.
He finds himself staying at Nino’s place for an unnecessarily long period of time and Nino lets him. Today, Jun stands by his apartment’s window, watching two old ladies having a chat on the pavement while a mother walks past, holding her child’s hand. He sees another woman, this one hands full with groceries as she heads home.
So this is the scenery that inspires his books, huh, Jun thinks to himself.
___
Nino likes that Jun visits him. He doesn’t have to - his previous managers never did until it got really close to the deadline, and that was when they would barge in to scream at his perceived incompetency. At the bottom of all the banter and raised eyebrows, Nino can feel a soft gentleness that Jun gives out, which stands in contrast with the strong features on his face or, with his outfits.
Nino likes people who are understated, like the actress Takeuchi Yuko - talented, but unassuming. Jun is anything but that. Jun knows what he is good at and flaunts it. Nino can imagine his manager as the star of the track team, the captain of the baseball team, or the class president who has people following him simply because of how brightly he shines. It makes Nino feel inferior while staring at Jun sometimes, because he is just born so eye-catchingly bright. Too bright for him, Nino thinks.
If Jun were someone else, he would have avoided him at all costs because his eyes would hurt just from a quick glance. But Nino doesn’t understand why Jun’s - and only Jun’s- light doesn’t burn his eyes when he looks. Maybe it’s the gentle side that neutralizes the light, Nino reasons, and if that is so then he wants bring that side out more.
Nino looks up slightly from his DS to see the light breeze blowing against Jun’s hair as he looks out of the window, and wonders if Jun knows the vibes that the gives out when he lets his guard down.
What could he be thinking about right now?
___
“Is onigiri all you have in your fridge?” Jun complains as he opens Nino’s fridge when he pops by for a status check again.
“They keep me full,” Nino simply replies, eyes glued to the television screen as he clears the next stage of Super Mario.
“How far are you into writing?” Jun asks.
“Enough,”
Jun snorts, “You mean you haven't started,”
Nino ignores him.
Jun is leaning against the kitchen counter, glass of water in one hand, and another on his hip, when an idea strikes him. He sits down beside Nino before he voices his proposal.
“So if I beat you in Super Mario, will you actually start writing earlier than a week before the deadline?”
“Can you actually…” Jun is quite sure he sees the smirk as Nino replies, handing him the other console, “… beat me in Super Mario?”
To Nino’s utter surprise, Jun eventually beats him.
He doesn’t send in his manuscript any earlier than usual.
___
Nino promises Jun that he will have the manuscript for a short story on time (whatever that means) and Jun, taking Nino at his “promise”, has been knocking on his door for the past 30 minutes with no reply. He has tried calling Nino multiple times and while he can hear the phone ring from inside the house, no one is picking it up.
There is of course the possibility of Nino going out without his phone, but in the two months that Jun has known Nino, he has not gone out of his house even once, depending instead on deliveries for all daily necessities. Plus, although Nino always hands in his work just before the real deadline, he has not missed any of them either.
And his phone is turned on.
Jun starts to get really worried and calls Sho, who informs him that he will contact someone. An hour later, a tanned man in plain t-shirt and jeans, and with a long fishing rod, approaches the door. He fishes out a key from one of his pockets and lets them in. The duo finds that Nino has passed out in his room, in front of his computer.
Jun panics as he tries to shake Nino awake desperately, irrational fear gripping his heart.
The fishing rod guy simply leans over and comments serenely, “Again?”
Jun drives Nino to the nearest hospital (fishing rod guy doesn’t have a license).
___
Jun visits Nino after he gets discharged (he was diagnosed with over-exhaustion, malnutrition and lack of sleep) only to find that fishing-rod guy is also in the apartment. After Nino lets Jun in, he lies down on fishing-rod guy’s lap while his fingers return to tapping on the game controls. There is this sense of peacefulness that surrounds the two of them, and Jun wants to turn back and leave because he feels so out of place.
“Aren’t you supposed to be resting?” Jun comments instead. Yes, pretend, pretend is good.
“Didn’t you get me an extension,” Nino replies and introduces fishing rod guy nonchalantly, “Oh and that is Ohno or just Oh-chan. He paints.”
Jun nods at Ohno as a greeting, and Ohno looks blankly at him for a moment. Jun thinks that he can see the gears move in the other man’s head as his mouth forms an O in recognition. Nino explains further - without looking up from his DS - “My new manager, Jun-kun, remember I told you about him?”
Since when is he Jun-kun in the first place? Jun raises his eyebrow questionably while Ohno seems to think very hard before he lets out a sound, indicating that he remembers. Jun sees Nino smile.
They behave like an old married couple, Jun thinks to himself, unable to curb a sour feeling from rising.
It’s as if he has missed an opportunity somewhere.
No, it’s as if he never had a chance in the first place.
___
It turns out Ohno is pretty much a permanent fixture in Nino’s house. The only reason why Jun has not met Ohno earlier on is because he went on an extended fishing trip out in the ocean.
The most frustrating thing for Jun is that the more he tries to ignore how close Ohno and Nino are, the more he notices their closeness. He starts noticing how Nino clings onto Ohno when he whispers into his ear, how they share looks that Jun cannot decipher and how they smile at each other when they think no one is looking. The thought sends pangs to his chest, which he desperately tries to ignore. Ohno and Nino are a good match for each other anyway, Jun tells himself. An artist and a writer, both eccentric in their own ways.
No, he is not jealous at all.
Who the hell will be jealous because of a brat like Nino anyway.
___
“Is that J?” Nino comments on one of Ohno’s sketches.
“You talk about him a lot,” The other man replies, “It makes me want to draw him,”
___
Nino smiles to himself as he watches Jun’s car drive off into the highway, hands toying with the new DS cover that Jun has bought for him and left on the coffee table, before he left without a word.
“Nino has a beautiful smile today,” Ohno comments from his seat at the dining table.
Nino thinks that Jun is the more beautiful one when he takes off the outer coat of spikes that he wears to ward off people.
Maybe that’s why he does that, Nino realizes, he is afraid that he will get hurt if he lets others get too close.
___
Nino hears a vibration coming from his couch only to find that Jun left his phone there by accident. He knows Jun is coming back for it but the phone keeps on vibrating and grating on Nino’s nerves, so he picks it up.
“Jun-love, are you free for dinner tonight?”
Nino is making an apology for not being Jun when the owner knocks on the door, demanding for his phone back. Ohno lets Jun in.
“Oh, there he is,” Nino says as the door opens and hands the phone over.
“No, I am not free and stop calling me, ” Jun says into the phone immediately and terminates the call while complaining about how he has never been interested in any of them -they are just female colleagues.
Nino is suddenly aware of how popular Jun is and it feels like someone has twisted a knife in his heart. Possessiveness is ugly, Nino reminds himself logically and tries to squash that feeling. Jun is only his manager.
“Mr Popular, huh,” he says instead, clothing himself in sarcasm.
___
Jun finds a key in his pocket when he leaves Nino’s house a few days later.
___
“Is the couch that nice to sleep on, “ Jun comments as he lets himself in with the spare key a couple of days later, the snark a habit that he can’t seem to kick away.
On the couch lies Nino, who is curled up in a weird position and sound asleep, holding on to his guitar. Jun reaches for his palm, opens it slightly and removes the guitar from his grip. He caresses the calluses on Nino’s fingers as he does so, imagining his fingers running down the strings of the guitar. He imagines Nino holding the guitar - it would probably look a little too big on him - and losing himself to the melodies that it makes. It would be a wonderful sight to behold.
Nino doesn’t stir through it at all.
Stupid boy, Jun thinks to himself as he picks up Nino and carries him to his bedroom.
The next morning, Nino wakes up in his own bed and finds cooked food in his fridge.
___
“Jun-kun hasn’t been here for a few days, “ Nino comments as he strums the guitar he has on his lap, trying out some new chords.
“You can call him,” Ohno tells him while he reads a magazine on the best fishing locations for 2012.
“Don’t want to,”
He doesn’t want Jun to know that he misses him.
___
Jun does visit again sometime at the end of the month - eyebags barely covered by the layers of concealer that he is wearing -, and armed with bags of groceries.
Nino feels a mixture of emotions bubbling up from within him - relieved that Jun is visiting, happy that Jun remembers him, angry because Jun hasn't come for weeks and guilty because Jun looks so tired. The last of them all makes Nino want to tug Jun into bed and kiss him good night.
“I haven’t eaten, so I am borrowing your kitchen,” Jun says.
Wouldn’t it be better to say that you miss him? Jun wonders, but when he sees Nino sitting at the dining table, palms on his cheeks and staring at a draft of his manuscript, he knows that it is because he is scared to lose the happiness that he has right now.
Nino pretends to believe Jun when he says he just wants to eat, but his heart can’t help but flutter when he sees how his manager’s eyes sparkle with delight when told about how good his cooking is. As he rolls the spaghetti with his fork, Nino wonders about showing his naked, ugly self to Jun. He wonders if Jun will back away if he shows him all the grotesque emotions that bubble within him.
Nino is terrified, but at the same time surprised at how much faith he has in Jun.
Jun stares at Nino, in his oversized and comfortable-looking shirt, and realizes with a start that he can live like this. He can imagine coming home and cooking for the both of them as he whines about the management’s stupidity while Nino adds in jabs of his own and tells him about his ideas for the new novel at the dining table. The magic about being with Nino is that he doesn’t have to pretend to be someone else or force a topic when the conversation dies. It’s a strange feeling, to be able to say everything and nothing at all to the same man.
Jun loves it.
___
“So there is the annual event where all the authors and publishers gather, ” Sho begins, “And the boss really wants Nino to go since he is one of the most popular ones around.”
“You know Nino barely even steps out of his house.”
“Matsujun, please.”
____
“I don't have a suit,” Nino says, “So I am not going,”
“Fine.”
The next day he finds a suit delivered to his house.
____
The outfit that Jun picked out for Nino lies untouched on the sofa on the night of the party.
“Nino,” Jun sighs. He has expected no less.
“Not going,” Nino says, as he stares into his DS. His peripheral vision observes that Jun is dressed in a suit that he bets has been tailor made for him. The suit accentuates Jun’s body shape and makes Nino gulp inwardly at how good he looks, but he knows not to be deceived. His manager is only here for one reason.
“It’s the annual company dinner where all the VIPs are coming. Sho says that you must come,”
“I don’t want to,”
Jun places his hands on his hips wondering, not for the first time, why Nino is so stubborn. As Nino jabs on the buttons of his machine with additional strength, Jun can see a pout forming on his face and has to will himself not to poke at it. As he shoves the inappropriate thoughts to the back of his mind, he proceeds to snatch the DS out of Nino’s hand, to which Nino retaliates by tackling Jun down onto the floor.
“Give me my game back!”
Jun lifts his arm over his head while Nino crawls all over him, trying to reach for his game. It is in such a position that Sho and Aiba Masaki, his boyfriend, find the two men as they push the unlocked door open.
“What is going on here,” Sho says, looking scandalized.
“Not what you’re thinking about,” Jun and Nino reply in strange unison as they got off each other, adding a glare at each other to make sure the point gets across.
Aiba reaches for the suit that Jun has prepared for Nino and shoves it into the Nino’s face, “Here, here, stop complaining, ”
It turns out Nino and Aiba go way back and it has something to do with going to the same high school and taking the same train home. Jun can’t really make out Aiba’s excited blabber but he does find himself surprised at his joy in knowing another small piece of Nino’s life. He likens these pieces of information to collecting fireflies in a jar in his head, and the more little pieces that he collects, the brighter the jar becomes.
“As expected, Jun has good taste,” Sho comments when Nino comes grudgingly out of the bathroom and Jun nods back at him, looking quite proud of himself.
“Let’s get going,” Nino says reluctantly. He feels awkward because the material feels too expensive on his skin, and he is quite sure that Jun has been checking him out ever since he walked out.
___
At the dinner party, Jun can’t help but observe Nino from the corner of his eye as he interacts with the guests. For all that Nino says about being terrible with people and not liking to go out, he is mixing extremely well with everyone. In fact, Jun is quite sure that Nino has just cracked a joke or said something that has made the stern face sponsor laugh.
Jun feels a mixture of awe and jealousy because Nino is such a natural at this. Jun remembers when he just began his job as a manager and offended both his boss and the author at the same time. He recalls the number of books about psychology and people management that he read, in order to understand how humans work. Contrasted with him, Nino simply knows, knows how to talk to people, know how to avoid the landmines, and knows how to make people laugh . Jun wishes he had just a slice of Nino’s talents.
___
Jun drives Nino home after the party that night.
“You are really good with people, “ Jun comments.
It has started to drizzle outside.
Nino takes off his blazer and throws it into the backseat of Jun’s car haphazardly. Sleeves folded, he curls into the passenger seat and stares out of the window instead of replying. Jun takes it as his cue to remain silent throughout the journey while stealing looks at Nino once in a while, marvelling inwardly at how the passing street lights illuminate Nino’s features. He thinks that if he looks, if Nino lets him look, he can see the world reflected in those eyes.
At some point in time, Nino has his small hands pressed onto the window, as if he is trying to trace the raindrops on the other side of it. He blows at it and warm air forms a small circle on the glass. He smiles, pleased with the result, and blows more of these circles so that by the time they are at the next traffic junction, there is an image on the window that reminds Jun of post modern geometric art with soft edges.
Then Nino leans his head against the glass panel, right beside his little piece of impromptu art, and looks in Jun’s direction as he drives. Jun wants to turn and ask him what he is doing, but he feels unable to do so, and can only will himself to continue driving.
He hears Nino hum softly to himself.
___
Jun puts an umbrella into Nino’s hands when they reach his apartment block. It is still raining outside.
“Thank you, “ Nino replies softly before exiting the car.
Jun drives away only after Nino’s tired figure disappears completely into the building.
___
Jun finds his umbrella, dried and folded, and the blazer, washed and iron, on the dining table during his next visit.
He doesn’t take them home.
___
“Ah, we are not together,” Ohno tells Jun out of the blue one day when Nino is in the washroom.
“Why are you telling me that? I don’t particularly care about his love life.”
Ohno mumbles, “Okay then.”
Jun tries to convince himself that he is not relieved at all.
___
“I wrote a song,” Nino tells Jun.
“If you have time to write songs, why won’t you work on your novel?” Jun says, the end of year workload getting to him.
Nino contemplates his response; he can choose to ignore it, but for some reason he wants to take a risk. If he wants to be romantic about this, he will say Jun is making him feel brave, makes Nino want to do something daring.
“I wrote a song for you,”
Jun’s head turns to face him, the expression in his eyes unreadable, and Nino’s head is filled with all sorts of thoughts. What if he doesn’t like it? What if Jun thinks he is being creepy? What if Jun is disgusted ?
Nino doesn’t think he has ever felt this naked under someone’s gaze before.
“Can I see it?”
___
“I get sea sick,” Nino tells Jun when Jun delivers him the invitation to the company’s end of year party that is going to be held on a cruise this year.
Jun holds up the sea sick medicine.
“I don’t want to go,”
“You have to go, the car is outside,”
“Are you going to manhandle me there?”
“If I have to,”
___
Instead of the social Nino that Jun saw in the dinner party a few weeks back, he can’t seem to spot Nino anywhere near the heart of this party. Remembering that Nino has seasickness, he excuses himself from some of the investors to find a pale-looking Nino in a secluded corner of the room. Nino’s face is cold to the touch and the seasick medicine has been left untouched on the floor.
“Can you stand,’” he whispers, voice laced with worry as Nino leans into Jun’s heat. “Let’s go to your room. Why didn’t you take your medicine?”
“Don't... like... medicine.”
“Okay, okay, don’t talk now, let’s get you to your room.”
Nino buries his head into Jun’s shoulders and they slowly make their way to his room. Jun gets Nino comfortable in his bed, force feeds him some medicine and is covering Nino’s body with a blanket when he feels a tug on his shirt. The novelist stares as he pulls Jun, futilely, towards him.
“Stay?”
Jun can’t say no.
Nino curls up like a kitten against Jun and the latter finds himself wrapping an arm around Nino protectively as he snuggles closer. As Nino’s breathing evens out, Jun brushes away the strands of hair that are on his forehead and places a chaste kiss on it. He drifts off into dreamland not long after, thinking about how nicely Nino fits into his body and how it is a privilege to see Nino with all his defences down. Nino’s stay reverberates in his heart.
The duo gets off at the nearest port at daybreak and boards a plane straight back home.
They don’t talk about anything that has happened on that ship.
____
“I need to go back to my hometown and do something,” Nino tells Jun one day. “Drive me there?”
The drive takes more than an hour and in front of them, the cityscape of Tokyo slowly turns into worn-down residential areas. Some kid, in patched up clothes, runs in front of Jun’s car just before he turns into Nino’s old house, and Jun curses out in shock.
“Does he not know how dangerous this is?”
Nino lets out a small smile, “This is how I grew up,”
Jun does not reply as he parks outside the house, noticing how the lawn looks untended, with weeds overgrowing and wild flowers blossoming. If Jun squints, he thinks he can see a couple of spider webs being disrupted as Nino enters the house. Jun winds down the window a little, letting the spring breeze enter the car as he watches Nino kneel down in front of a small shrine with two photos lined up side by side. As Nino pays his respects, Jun imagines how a young Nino would have run around the same garden, playing with toy helicopters and trying to make them fly. He smiles to himself as he imagines little Nino tugging at his mother’s skirt, begging for more sweets. When Nino was older, he’d probably leave for school through this gate, walking past this scenery daily. As Jun’s imagination runs wild, he also realizes that that it has been Nino who allowed him in.
____
“Drink with me.”
Jun raises his eyebrows and Nino can hear the unsaid question.
“I write better with some alcohol in my system,” he says eventually and is quite sure Jun doesn’t buy his excuse. However, Jun does loosen his tie and grabs a beer from the fridge like he is in his own house.
They sit on Nino’s floor, around the coffee table. Jun leans against the sofa, one leg bent upwards and his hand holding the beer can as if he is part of an advertisement. He even tilts his head back at certain points in time, showing Nino his glorious neckline. Nino thinks that he can watch Jun like that forever, oozing charisma and beauty. He wonders if Jun, himself knows how breathtaking he is.
He probably doesn’t, Nino concludes.
“I am just not as talented as you are,” Jun confesses later, the beer wearing thin his defences, “There are so many things that I can’t do. When I was in school, I was the only one in class who couldn’t do a backflip,”
Nino leans in closer, reaches for Jun’s hand and places it on top of his, “But Jun-kun has some things that only Jun-kun can do,”
Jun looks at Nino like he has grown another head.
“They say I am an elite in the company,” Jun continues, “because I got the job without an interview. But look at me now, just a lowly manager. What is so elite about me, huh?”
So, this is his opinion of himself, Nino thinks as his thumb rubs circles on the back of Jun’s hand. Always focusing on the parts that he has not done well, always remembering the bad things, always thinking about how he is not good enough.
Nino wants to tell him how the fact that he can manage Nino is a miracle in itself. He wants to tell Jun how fabulous he is and how he cannot take his eyes off him. He wants Jun to know that he remembers the little things that Jun has done for him and is touched by every single one of them - a herbal tea for a cold, a meal when he is rushing his deadlines or a little phone call to make sure he has slept well. Nino wants him to know that he doesn’t care about Jun being an elite or not.
He only cares about Jun being Jun.
___
Nino wakes up the next morning with his head on Jun’s shoulders and his hand on top of Jun’s. He kisses the other man’s shoulders absentmindedly in his morning-dazed state and lets himself enjoy the moment a little more before gently removing himself from his manager’s sleeping figure.
Jun opens his eyes as Nino walks into the bathroom.
He has actually woken up an hour earlier.
___
“Here’s his address and his keys should be in his pocket, ” Sho scribbles apologetically while Aiba drapes himself all over him. Sho, Jun, Nino, and Aiba have been drinking together to celebrate Jun’s one year of managing Nino. They even manage to talk to Ohno, who has embarked on another fishing adventure, over a long distance phone call. Unsurprisingly, Aiba gets himself more than a little drunk and somehow Jun has also drunk a little more than he usually does. Lady luck has not shone on him during janken .
“I love Sho-chan so much, Sho is the best,” Aiba sing-songs, “Sho-chan take me home?”
Sho apologizes again as he closes the door to Jun and Nino’s taxi shut. Jun sits way too close to Nino during the ride and his hands wrap around Nino’s shoulders in a way that suggests the sort of intimacy that they don’t have. Yet to have, Nino’s mind kindly supplies. It would have been responsible of Nino to push him away, but Nino can’t deny how much he likes the way Jun’s warmth pulses against him and decides to indulge himself in it.
Jun-kun lives in a decent neighbourhood, Nino observes when the taxi drops them off. He finds Jun’s house keys easily in his pockets and lets the two of them in. Jun stumbles in the direction of the bathroom and Nino follows quickly after he locks the door, to find his manager leaning over the toilet bowl and throwing up.
Nino removes Jun’s jacket and rubs his back as he bends over to vomit a couple more times. When Jun is finally done, Nino reaches for the tissue on the sink and cleans his face. He tosses the tissue paper aside and wraps his arms around Jun’s torso (hoping that he doesn’t remember the next morning) as the intoxicated man leans against the wall for support. So this is Jun, drunk, defenceless and not glamorous at all.
Nino feels special to be allowed to see Jun like this.
“Nino, I really like you,” Jun mumbles, interrupting Nino’s thoughts.
Nino looks at him and refuses to reply. Jun is drunk and if he wants to confess, he should at least confess when sober. So he pulls Jun up and drags him to bed instead. While Jun falls asleep quickly, Nino seems to have problems shutting down his mind processes. He can’t seem to take his mind off Jun’s drunken confession or the way Jun slouches against the bathroom wall, and decides to venture around Jun’s house since he is so awake.
He lets himself take in the decorations in Jun’s house which are simple and comfortable-looking. Nino thinks the colour scheme of Jun’s house is brown, but there isn’t enough light to tell for sure. What he is certain of, though, is that the apartment is clean, neat and easy to move about in. He likes the spaces that Jun has in the house and Nino wonders metaphorically if he will allow another person into this space.
While sitting on the couch, Nino spots his novel on the coffee table and instinctively reaches for it. Jun is his manager and it is thus unsurprising that he has read Nino’s books, but Nino still feels so happy about it - like a girl watching her boyfriend eat her handmade lunches.
What really does catch Nino by surprise is how the margins of his novel are filled with annotations and Jun’s thoughts about his book. Nino makes himself comfortable and starts reading them, feeling a warmness surround his heart as he thought, Ah, that is what Jun-kun thinks about me.
He laughs at some of the comments - Jun is obviously thinking too much into some of the lines that he has written, or misinterpreted others. At the same time, Nino can’t help but smile to himself when he sees how much Jun appreciated his writing and how much he has engaged himself in the prose. Just reading Jun’s comments makes him remember why he writes; it makes all the sleepless nights and painful fingers worth it. Through the comments, Nino feels how much Jun adores him and his writing, and it overwhelms Nino, sweeping him off his feet.
Nino falls asleep with the image of Jun, wearing his spectacles and poring over his book, frowning cutely at certain lines and smiling at others.
___
“What are you doing here,” Jun asks a barely awakened Nino as he removes the open novel from his face. He tries to ignore the jittery feeling from having Nino find out the notes that he has made all over his novel and decides to play the annoyance card. What will Nino think? Will he be freaked out? Will he be offended? He knows that his crush on Nino is evident through the notes - will Nino distance himself from Jun because he feels awkward? Jun himself sure feels awkward right now as he shifts his weight between his feet.
“Thank me, I sent your sorry ass home after you got drunk and I end up having to sleep on your couch for the night,” Nino says, wriggling around on the couch. Jun is glad that he is avoiding the elephant in the room, as well.
“You could have gone home.”
“Cab fees are expensive.”
“Next time just take it from the wallet yourself.”
“Pay me with the novel then.”
Or maybe not.
___
Jun brings a movie to Nino’s house the next time he visits, to help Nino "get more inspiration” for his novel.
They both know Jun is lying.
While Jun appears to enjoy this art house film a lot, Nino finds himself looking at Jun more than at the movie. He has had a few days to think over everything - from their first meeting, to the various little visits, to the day on the cruise, then to Jun’s somewhat drunken confession and, of course, the novel (which really reads like a love letter at some parts, Nino thinks). The events line up perfectly, like an arrow directing him towards Jun, and Nino wonders if he was the one who was too blind to see it earlier or if he has just refused to admit it until now.
Either way, the next step is his to take.
He lets himself sit close enough to Jun so that their thighs touch each other and sneakily lies his head on Jun’s shoulder. Jun doesn’t move away.
Nino takes a deep breath before he starts.
“Actually, Jun-kun,” he says while the lead character is being depressed over the loss of his love, “I like you too,”
Jun tilts his head slightly towards Nino to see a boyish shyness dancing in Nino’s eyes. Yet it is not just shyness; it is combined with a certain level of brattiness. Like he knows that Jun will say yes, yet at the same time also wanting Jun to say yes. It’s a whole mixture of complicated and contradictory emotions, which somehow mix together into something, that tugs at Jun’s heartstrings.
It’s a feast, Jun realizes, seeing all of Nino’s bare emotions on display. It’s also an honour because Nino is allowing him to see them all.
Jun closes the final distance between them and places his lips on Nino’s. His tongue escapes from his mouth to caress Nino’s lips and the smaller man allows it to enter into his mouth. Their tongues engage in a slow waltz, as they taste each other -their insecurities, their pride, their hopes, and their fears - in an emotional climax. They part slightly to breathe, feeling each other’s breaths against their faces before engaging each other again - desperate to find out more and desperate to share more.
“That was what I was going to say, too,” Jun finally whispers, after their feverish kisses, “I really like you.”
“About time,” Nino mumbles as he leans into Jun’s chest, feeling the beat of Jun’s heart against his cheek.
Jun reaches out for Nino’s hands and laces their fingers together.
There is nothing wrong with being naked if you are with someone you love.
Poll Team AU Prompt 1
Pairing/Group: Matsumoto Jun/Ninomiya Kazunari (Arashi)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Summary: Nino is a novelist. Jun is his manager. This is the story of how they fall in love.
Notes:
1. Naked: With no qualification or concealment; With no defence, protection or shield.
2. Thank you to the hand holders and the beta. I have made some edits after sending it to the beta, so all my mistakes are my own and not hers.
Matsumoto Jun meets Ninomiya Kazunari on a wet Saturday morning with the pitter pattering of the rain against the apartment’s window as soundtrack.
Jun introduces himself as Nino’s new manager and hands his namecard to the other man, who seems more interested in shuffling the trump cards he has in his hands rather than responding to social courtesies. Jun’s card itself is a work of art - it has his name typed out in beautiful, cursive, royal purple characters with his role and contact details in another equally classy font underneath.
“Nino,” Sakurai Sho, head of the novels section, sighs audibly, “Stop chasing managers away.”
“Pick a card,” Nino tells Jun instead.
Jun finds himself oddly charmed.
__
Nino watches as Jun pulls a card slightly out with his thumb and index finger, and notes how the artificial lights in his house are reflected by buffed and well taken care of nails. Their eyes meet for a spilt second and Jun seizes the chance to tap the card back into the deck before pulling out another one quickly. He smirks as he holds the card to his chest.
“I choose this one,”
Nino decides that he likes Jun’s splayed hands on his white dress shirt and loves the look of challenge that is shining in his eyes. Responding with a smirk of his own, Nino makes Jun confirm the card that he has chosen before directing him to return it to the deck. He revels in Jun’s frown as he fails to locate the card after the deck is shuffled.
“There is a missing card?” Nino says and Jun raises a skeptical eyebrow at him, “Shall we check the box instead?”
Nino reaches out for the box on the coffee table, peeking at how Jun’s silver ring catches the apartment’s light from the corner of his eye, as he pulls out the lone card that is sitting inside the box.
The Jack of hearts.
Jun, Jack, J. Nino thinks it’s a beautiful coincidence.
__
Jun picks up Nino’s novels on his way home so that he can find out more about the author he is managing. He has heard of Ninomiya Kazunari by reputation but has never actually read any of his books. Jun’s preferred leisure readings are usually English or French classics (they have beautiful imagery, he claims) rather than the modern Japanese settings that Nino usually writes about. To be very honest with himself, he is expecting Nino’s novels to turn out to be typical societal commentary novels criticizing the decadence of the modern world with a side dish of romance.
In other words, boring.
Jun ends up surprising himself because two pages into Nino’s debut novel, Secrets, he finds himself grabbing a highlighter and marking lines that fascinate him while annotating the book with comments of his own. That night, he falls asleep with Nino’s second novel, Dreams , on his face.
Jun’s next few nights are spent in awe of how Nino manages to write from the perspectives of so many different people - a criminal, a child, a housewife, a retired engineer etc. - with all of them revealing so many sides of the novelist himself. As he reads, he recalls the quirky charm that he has sensed during their first meeting and tries to reconcile it with the man that is revealed through the writing - a man with an eye for details, sharp comments, clever humour, and a slight melancholy that transcends through it all. Nino’s language is unpretentious yet strangely touching. It uses none of those long lists of beautiful metaphors that Jun loves, but for some reason that he can't understand, it seems to be able to transport him to Nino’s world like how Jane Austen transport him to 18th century England.
Jun has foolishly thought that he would be sick of Nino’s books by his third or fourth novel - experience tells him that very few authors manage to break new grounds after a bestseller or two - but instead of getting predictable, Nino’s books get more interesting and more addictive. It makes Jun want to find out more about the author himself, his life story, his thoughts, his likes and dislikes, and just all about him .
Jun feels like he has stepped into a trap.
___
When Nino opens the door for Jun, he notices that the apartment is pitch black, save the light coming from the small DS on the couch.
“You are going to kill your eyes this way,” Jun comments as Nino flicks the light switch on for his visitor.
“This is me being economically friendly. Plus, the street lights are enough anyway,” Nino answers. “Judging from your contact lenses, turning on all the lights doesn’t seem to have done you any good, anyway.”
How did he know?
“If you look at a person’s eyes carefully, you will know,” Nino can’t help but snigger at Jun’s bewildered face.
“How did you even know…”
“I always try to think ahead,” Nino replies enigmatically. “Actually, I really want to get back to my game, so let’s get this over and done with.”
Jun feels the way the conversation turns and crashes into a dead end, denying him entry into Nino’s heart. The more Nino tries to shield himself, Jun realizes, the more curious he becomes. Who exactly is Nino? What else is there inside him, which is not reflected in his actions and writings? It’s as though a deep part of Nino’s subconscious is calling to Jun’s, daring him to probe and find out more. It has been a long time since someone has piqued his interest so much, Jun thinks to himself as he reaches for his briefcase. This is going to be a tough one.
But Jun happens to really like challenges.
___
“Nino,” Jun’s voice, deep and level, comes through the phone, “It’s already 10:02,”
“Yes, yes, I am working on it, “ Nino replies nonchalantly, hiding the chills going down his spine. There is a hidden threat in that deep voice, he can feel the amount of control Jun is exercising to keep his voice level and it makes Nino wonder what will happen if he strips Jun of that control. Will he scream? Will he use violence? Or maybe, Nino wonders to himself, Jun may be the type of person who will break down and cry.
“Your manuscript is late. The editors are waiting, the printers are calling, and you are going to get everyone into trouble.”
“Your exaggerations don’t work on me, Matsumoto,” Nino says calmly, experience gained from years of working with managers. “The editors don’t need that long to edit my work. The printers will only start printing two weeks later.”
Nino cuts the call and turns off his phone.
___
Jun shows up at Nino’s house, pressing the doorbell only to find no corresponding sound emerging from inside. Frowning, he begins to knock at the door.
“You are a persistent bastard,” Nino says, when he finally lets Jun in.
“I just happen to respect deadlines that are set,” Jun says, rubbings his knuckles in a way that reminds Nino of a boxer finishing his fight. Serves him right, Nino says in his head.
“Your doorbell is broken,” he informs Nino, leaning against the wall, arms and legs crossed like he is posing for a camera.
“Fixing it is expensive, diva .”
“Then I will get someone to do it, brat,“ Jun responds quickly as he walks over to the couch with the intention of turning on Nino’s cellphone, which is lying there. Nino, knowing exactly what the other has been planning, grabs Jun’s wrist to stop him. The manager finds himself noticing the roughness of Nino’s fingers against his skin and how the author’s fingers are not long enough to wrap around his wrist completely. Jun looks at Nino, their eyes meeting for a moment, and something that Jun can’t name passes between their gazes.
Jun thinks he may have just seen loneliness swirling in Nino’s brown eyes and it makes him want to reach out and hold him in his arms. It makes him want to stay beside Nino and purge the sadness away. The strength of Jun’s own emotions scares him a little as he quickly blinks his mind back into reality. The novelist must have felt something, as well, because he hurriedly releases his grip on Jun and tears his gaze from Jun’s. The vulnerability in Nino’s eyes is completely gone when Jun looks again.
“I turn the phone off because the sound is too sharp for my ears,” Nino explains softly, in a tone that indicates that he doesn’t want to be probed further.
Jun wants to know more.
___
Nino hands in his manuscript for his next novel one week later.
Jun gets reprimanded for not “controlling his author properly”.
The book gets released on the scheduled day anyway.
___
Nino gets another contract for a new book and Jun, being his responsible self, comes by to check on Nino's progress once in a while (Jun also learns that Nino habitually turns off his phone when he writes, not just before deadlines), but all he sees is Nino playing games on various different consoles - how many does that guy actually have, Jun wonders to himself - instead of writing.
“What are you wearing? Do you think you are some strip teaser?” Nino comments when he opens the door with one hand while the other is clutching a DS, planning to restart a new game. Such loud fashion, Nino thinks to himself, like he is trying to distract people from seeing something else altogether. It does make Nino wonder though - if he manages to take away the glamour that surrounds Jun, what will he see in the end?
“This is the newest fashion; if you can’t appreciate it, then so be it.”
“Sure, bright purple glittery jackets are always in fashion,” Nino replies, curling up on his couch with his DS once again. Jun doesn’t even bother asking about the novel.
In his head, Jun tries to solve the mystery of the writer who has kept him awake for the past few weeks, and this gamer who seems only to care about winning and leveling up in his online adventures. It will be easier to think that the two of them are different people altogether but Jun knows for sure that that is not true. It then makes him wonder what is the thing that connects the two. Nino is definitely hiding parts of himself- there is no way someone can write such impressive books without being impressive himself - but it feels like Nino has laid out a maze for anyone who tries to get close, to trick them into getting lost so that they will never be able to find his heart. But why?
Self-preservation, Jun supplies the answer himself. It is about not letting anyone see you bare and unprotected. If Jun wants to be really honest with himself, it is not his business to bother with Nino as long as his manuscripts come in as they should. But for some reason, Jun just wants to know.
He finds himself staying at Nino’s place for an unnecessarily long period of time and Nino lets him. Today, Jun stands by his apartment’s window, watching two old ladies having a chat on the pavement while a mother walks past, holding her child’s hand. He sees another woman, this one hands full with groceries as she heads home.
So this is the scenery that inspires his books, huh, Jun thinks to himself.
___
Nino likes that Jun visits him. He doesn’t have to - his previous managers never did until it got really close to the deadline, and that was when they would barge in to scream at his perceived incompetency. At the bottom of all the banter and raised eyebrows, Nino can feel a soft gentleness that Jun gives out, which stands in contrast with the strong features on his face or, with his outfits.
Nino likes people who are understated, like the actress Takeuchi Yuko - talented, but unassuming. Jun is anything but that. Jun knows what he is good at and flaunts it. Nino can imagine his manager as the star of the track team, the captain of the baseball team, or the class president who has people following him simply because of how brightly he shines. It makes Nino feel inferior while staring at Jun sometimes, because he is just born so eye-catchingly bright. Too bright for him, Nino thinks.
If Jun were someone else, he would have avoided him at all costs because his eyes would hurt just from a quick glance. But Nino doesn’t understand why Jun’s - and only Jun’s- light doesn’t burn his eyes when he looks. Maybe it’s the gentle side that neutralizes the light, Nino reasons, and if that is so then he wants bring that side out more.
Nino looks up slightly from his DS to see the light breeze blowing against Jun’s hair as he looks out of the window, and wonders if Jun knows the vibes that the gives out when he lets his guard down.
What could he be thinking about right now?
___
“Is onigiri all you have in your fridge?” Jun complains as he opens Nino’s fridge when he pops by for a status check again.
“They keep me full,” Nino simply replies, eyes glued to the television screen as he clears the next stage of Super Mario.
“How far are you into writing?” Jun asks.
“Enough,”
Jun snorts, “You mean you haven't started,”
Nino ignores him.
Jun is leaning against the kitchen counter, glass of water in one hand, and another on his hip, when an idea strikes him. He sits down beside Nino before he voices his proposal.
“So if I beat you in Super Mario, will you actually start writing earlier than a week before the deadline?”
“Can you actually…” Jun is quite sure he sees the smirk as Nino replies, handing him the other console, “… beat me in Super Mario?”
To Nino’s utter surprise, Jun eventually beats him.
He doesn’t send in his manuscript any earlier than usual.
___
Nino promises Jun that he will have the manuscript for a short story on time (whatever that means) and Jun, taking Nino at his “promise”, has been knocking on his door for the past 30 minutes with no reply. He has tried calling Nino multiple times and while he can hear the phone ring from inside the house, no one is picking it up.
There is of course the possibility of Nino going out without his phone, but in the two months that Jun has known Nino, he has not gone out of his house even once, depending instead on deliveries for all daily necessities. Plus, although Nino always hands in his work just before the real deadline, he has not missed any of them either.
And his phone is turned on.
Jun starts to get really worried and calls Sho, who informs him that he will contact someone. An hour later, a tanned man in plain t-shirt and jeans, and with a long fishing rod, approaches the door. He fishes out a key from one of his pockets and lets them in. The duo finds that Nino has passed out in his room, in front of his computer.
Jun panics as he tries to shake Nino awake desperately, irrational fear gripping his heart.
The fishing rod guy simply leans over and comments serenely, “Again?”
Jun drives Nino to the nearest hospital (fishing rod guy doesn’t have a license).
___
Jun visits Nino after he gets discharged (he was diagnosed with over-exhaustion, malnutrition and lack of sleep) only to find that fishing-rod guy is also in the apartment. After Nino lets Jun in, he lies down on fishing-rod guy’s lap while his fingers return to tapping on the game controls. There is this sense of peacefulness that surrounds the two of them, and Jun wants to turn back and leave because he feels so out of place.
“Aren’t you supposed to be resting?” Jun comments instead. Yes, pretend, pretend is good.
“Didn’t you get me an extension,” Nino replies and introduces fishing rod guy nonchalantly, “Oh and that is Ohno or just Oh-chan. He paints.”
Jun nods at Ohno as a greeting, and Ohno looks blankly at him for a moment. Jun thinks that he can see the gears move in the other man’s head as his mouth forms an O in recognition. Nino explains further - without looking up from his DS - “My new manager, Jun-kun, remember I told you about him?”
Since when is he Jun-kun in the first place? Jun raises his eyebrow questionably while Ohno seems to think very hard before he lets out a sound, indicating that he remembers. Jun sees Nino smile.
They behave like an old married couple, Jun thinks to himself, unable to curb a sour feeling from rising.
It’s as if he has missed an opportunity somewhere.
No, it’s as if he never had a chance in the first place.
___
It turns out Ohno is pretty much a permanent fixture in Nino’s house. The only reason why Jun has not met Ohno earlier on is because he went on an extended fishing trip out in the ocean.
The most frustrating thing for Jun is that the more he tries to ignore how close Ohno and Nino are, the more he notices their closeness. He starts noticing how Nino clings onto Ohno when he whispers into his ear, how they share looks that Jun cannot decipher and how they smile at each other when they think no one is looking. The thought sends pangs to his chest, which he desperately tries to ignore. Ohno and Nino are a good match for each other anyway, Jun tells himself. An artist and a writer, both eccentric in their own ways.
No, he is not jealous at all.
Who the hell will be jealous because of a brat like Nino anyway.
___
“Is that J?” Nino comments on one of Ohno’s sketches.
“You talk about him a lot,” The other man replies, “It makes me want to draw him,”
___
Nino smiles to himself as he watches Jun’s car drive off into the highway, hands toying with the new DS cover that Jun has bought for him and left on the coffee table, before he left without a word.
“Nino has a beautiful smile today,” Ohno comments from his seat at the dining table.
Nino thinks that Jun is the more beautiful one when he takes off the outer coat of spikes that he wears to ward off people.
Maybe that’s why he does that, Nino realizes, he is afraid that he will get hurt if he lets others get too close.
___
Nino hears a vibration coming from his couch only to find that Jun left his phone there by accident. He knows Jun is coming back for it but the phone keeps on vibrating and grating on Nino’s nerves, so he picks it up.
“Jun-love, are you free for dinner tonight?”
Nino is making an apology for not being Jun when the owner knocks on the door, demanding for his phone back. Ohno lets Jun in.
“Oh, there he is,” Nino says as the door opens and hands the phone over.
“No, I am not free and stop calling me, ” Jun says into the phone immediately and terminates the call while complaining about how he has never been interested in any of them -they are just female colleagues.
Nino is suddenly aware of how popular Jun is and it feels like someone has twisted a knife in his heart. Possessiveness is ugly, Nino reminds himself logically and tries to squash that feeling. Jun is only his manager.
“Mr Popular, huh,” he says instead, clothing himself in sarcasm.
___
Jun finds a key in his pocket when he leaves Nino’s house a few days later.
___
“Is the couch that nice to sleep on, “ Jun comments as he lets himself in with the spare key a couple of days later, the snark a habit that he can’t seem to kick away.
On the couch lies Nino, who is curled up in a weird position and sound asleep, holding on to his guitar. Jun reaches for his palm, opens it slightly and removes the guitar from his grip. He caresses the calluses on Nino’s fingers as he does so, imagining his fingers running down the strings of the guitar. He imagines Nino holding the guitar - it would probably look a little too big on him - and losing himself to the melodies that it makes. It would be a wonderful sight to behold.
Nino doesn’t stir through it at all.
Stupid boy, Jun thinks to himself as he picks up Nino and carries him to his bedroom.
The next morning, Nino wakes up in his own bed and finds cooked food in his fridge.
___
“Jun-kun hasn’t been here for a few days, “ Nino comments as he strums the guitar he has on his lap, trying out some new chords.
“You can call him,” Ohno tells him while he reads a magazine on the best fishing locations for 2012.
“Don’t want to,”
He doesn’t want Jun to know that he misses him.
___
Jun does visit again sometime at the end of the month - eyebags barely covered by the layers of concealer that he is wearing -, and armed with bags of groceries.
Nino feels a mixture of emotions bubbling up from within him - relieved that Jun is visiting, happy that Jun remembers him, angry because Jun hasn't come for weeks and guilty because Jun looks so tired. The last of them all makes Nino want to tug Jun into bed and kiss him good night.
“I haven’t eaten, so I am borrowing your kitchen,” Jun says.
Wouldn’t it be better to say that you miss him? Jun wonders, but when he sees Nino sitting at the dining table, palms on his cheeks and staring at a draft of his manuscript, he knows that it is because he is scared to lose the happiness that he has right now.
Nino pretends to believe Jun when he says he just wants to eat, but his heart can’t help but flutter when he sees how his manager’s eyes sparkle with delight when told about how good his cooking is. As he rolls the spaghetti with his fork, Nino wonders about showing his naked, ugly self to Jun. He wonders if Jun will back away if he shows him all the grotesque emotions that bubble within him.
Nino is terrified, but at the same time surprised at how much faith he has in Jun.
Jun stares at Nino, in his oversized and comfortable-looking shirt, and realizes with a start that he can live like this. He can imagine coming home and cooking for the both of them as he whines about the management’s stupidity while Nino adds in jabs of his own and tells him about his ideas for the new novel at the dining table. The magic about being with Nino is that he doesn’t have to pretend to be someone else or force a topic when the conversation dies. It’s a strange feeling, to be able to say everything and nothing at all to the same man.
Jun loves it.
___
“So there is the annual event where all the authors and publishers gather, ” Sho begins, “And the boss really wants Nino to go since he is one of the most popular ones around.”
“You know Nino barely even steps out of his house.”
“Matsujun, please.”
____
“I don't have a suit,” Nino says, “So I am not going,”
“Fine.”
The next day he finds a suit delivered to his house.
____
The outfit that Jun picked out for Nino lies untouched on the sofa on the night of the party.
“Nino,” Jun sighs. He has expected no less.
“Not going,” Nino says, as he stares into his DS. His peripheral vision observes that Jun is dressed in a suit that he bets has been tailor made for him. The suit accentuates Jun’s body shape and makes Nino gulp inwardly at how good he looks, but he knows not to be deceived. His manager is only here for one reason.
“It’s the annual company dinner where all the VIPs are coming. Sho says that you must come,”
“I don’t want to,”
Jun places his hands on his hips wondering, not for the first time, why Nino is so stubborn. As Nino jabs on the buttons of his machine with additional strength, Jun can see a pout forming on his face and has to will himself not to poke at it. As he shoves the inappropriate thoughts to the back of his mind, he proceeds to snatch the DS out of Nino’s hand, to which Nino retaliates by tackling Jun down onto the floor.
“Give me my game back!”
Jun lifts his arm over his head while Nino crawls all over him, trying to reach for his game. It is in such a position that Sho and Aiba Masaki, his boyfriend, find the two men as they push the unlocked door open.
“What is going on here,” Sho says, looking scandalized.
“Not what you’re thinking about,” Jun and Nino reply in strange unison as they got off each other, adding a glare at each other to make sure the point gets across.
Aiba reaches for the suit that Jun has prepared for Nino and shoves it into the Nino’s face, “Here, here, stop complaining, ”
It turns out Nino and Aiba go way back and it has something to do with going to the same high school and taking the same train home. Jun can’t really make out Aiba’s excited blabber but he does find himself surprised at his joy in knowing another small piece of Nino’s life. He likens these pieces of information to collecting fireflies in a jar in his head, and the more little pieces that he collects, the brighter the jar becomes.
“As expected, Jun has good taste,” Sho comments when Nino comes grudgingly out of the bathroom and Jun nods back at him, looking quite proud of himself.
“Let’s get going,” Nino says reluctantly. He feels awkward because the material feels too expensive on his skin, and he is quite sure that Jun has been checking him out ever since he walked out.
___
At the dinner party, Jun can’t help but observe Nino from the corner of his eye as he interacts with the guests. For all that Nino says about being terrible with people and not liking to go out, he is mixing extremely well with everyone. In fact, Jun is quite sure that Nino has just cracked a joke or said something that has made the stern face sponsor laugh.
Jun feels a mixture of awe and jealousy because Nino is such a natural at this. Jun remembers when he just began his job as a manager and offended both his boss and the author at the same time. He recalls the number of books about psychology and people management that he read, in order to understand how humans work. Contrasted with him, Nino simply knows, knows how to talk to people, know how to avoid the landmines, and knows how to make people laugh . Jun wishes he had just a slice of Nino’s talents.
___
Jun drives Nino home after the party that night.
“You are really good with people, “ Jun comments.
It has started to drizzle outside.
Nino takes off his blazer and throws it into the backseat of Jun’s car haphazardly. Sleeves folded, he curls into the passenger seat and stares out of the window instead of replying. Jun takes it as his cue to remain silent throughout the journey while stealing looks at Nino once in a while, marvelling inwardly at how the passing street lights illuminate Nino’s features. He thinks that if he looks, if Nino lets him look, he can see the world reflected in those eyes.
At some point in time, Nino has his small hands pressed onto the window, as if he is trying to trace the raindrops on the other side of it. He blows at it and warm air forms a small circle on the glass. He smiles, pleased with the result, and blows more of these circles so that by the time they are at the next traffic junction, there is an image on the window that reminds Jun of post modern geometric art with soft edges.
Then Nino leans his head against the glass panel, right beside his little piece of impromptu art, and looks in Jun’s direction as he drives. Jun wants to turn and ask him what he is doing, but he feels unable to do so, and can only will himself to continue driving.
He hears Nino hum softly to himself.
___
Jun puts an umbrella into Nino’s hands when they reach his apartment block. It is still raining outside.
“Thank you, “ Nino replies softly before exiting the car.
Jun drives away only after Nino’s tired figure disappears completely into the building.
___
Jun finds his umbrella, dried and folded, and the blazer, washed and iron, on the dining table during his next visit.
He doesn’t take them home.
___
“Ah, we are not together,” Ohno tells Jun out of the blue one day when Nino is in the washroom.
“Why are you telling me that? I don’t particularly care about his love life.”
Ohno mumbles, “Okay then.”
Jun tries to convince himself that he is not relieved at all.
___
“I wrote a song,” Nino tells Jun.
“If you have time to write songs, why won’t you work on your novel?” Jun says, the end of year workload getting to him.
Nino contemplates his response; he can choose to ignore it, but for some reason he wants to take a risk. If he wants to be romantic about this, he will say Jun is making him feel brave, makes Nino want to do something daring.
“I wrote a song for you,”
Jun’s head turns to face him, the expression in his eyes unreadable, and Nino’s head is filled with all sorts of thoughts. What if he doesn’t like it? What if Jun thinks he is being creepy? What if Jun is disgusted ?
Nino doesn’t think he has ever felt this naked under someone’s gaze before.
“Can I see it?”
___
“I get sea sick,” Nino tells Jun when Jun delivers him the invitation to the company’s end of year party that is going to be held on a cruise this year.
Jun holds up the sea sick medicine.
“I don’t want to go,”
“You have to go, the car is outside,”
“Are you going to manhandle me there?”
“If I have to,”
___
Instead of the social Nino that Jun saw in the dinner party a few weeks back, he can’t seem to spot Nino anywhere near the heart of this party. Remembering that Nino has seasickness, he excuses himself from some of the investors to find a pale-looking Nino in a secluded corner of the room. Nino’s face is cold to the touch and the seasick medicine has been left untouched on the floor.
“Can you stand,’” he whispers, voice laced with worry as Nino leans into Jun’s heat. “Let’s go to your room. Why didn’t you take your medicine?”
“Don't... like... medicine.”
“Okay, okay, don’t talk now, let’s get you to your room.”
Nino buries his head into Jun’s shoulders and they slowly make their way to his room. Jun gets Nino comfortable in his bed, force feeds him some medicine and is covering Nino’s body with a blanket when he feels a tug on his shirt. The novelist stares as he pulls Jun, futilely, towards him.
“Stay?”
Jun can’t say no.
Nino curls up like a kitten against Jun and the latter finds himself wrapping an arm around Nino protectively as he snuggles closer. As Nino’s breathing evens out, Jun brushes away the strands of hair that are on his forehead and places a chaste kiss on it. He drifts off into dreamland not long after, thinking about how nicely Nino fits into his body and how it is a privilege to see Nino with all his defences down. Nino’s stay reverberates in his heart.
The duo gets off at the nearest port at daybreak and boards a plane straight back home.
They don’t talk about anything that has happened on that ship.
____
“I need to go back to my hometown and do something,” Nino tells Jun one day. “Drive me there?”
The drive takes more than an hour and in front of them, the cityscape of Tokyo slowly turns into worn-down residential areas. Some kid, in patched up clothes, runs in front of Jun’s car just before he turns into Nino’s old house, and Jun curses out in shock.
“Does he not know how dangerous this is?”
Nino lets out a small smile, “This is how I grew up,”
Jun does not reply as he parks outside the house, noticing how the lawn looks untended, with weeds overgrowing and wild flowers blossoming. If Jun squints, he thinks he can see a couple of spider webs being disrupted as Nino enters the house. Jun winds down the window a little, letting the spring breeze enter the car as he watches Nino kneel down in front of a small shrine with two photos lined up side by side. As Nino pays his respects, Jun imagines how a young Nino would have run around the same garden, playing with toy helicopters and trying to make them fly. He smiles to himself as he imagines little Nino tugging at his mother’s skirt, begging for more sweets. When Nino was older, he’d probably leave for school through this gate, walking past this scenery daily. As Jun’s imagination runs wild, he also realizes that that it has been Nino who allowed him in.
____
“Drink with me.”
Jun raises his eyebrows and Nino can hear the unsaid question.
“I write better with some alcohol in my system,” he says eventually and is quite sure Jun doesn’t buy his excuse. However, Jun does loosen his tie and grabs a beer from the fridge like he is in his own house.
They sit on Nino’s floor, around the coffee table. Jun leans against the sofa, one leg bent upwards and his hand holding the beer can as if he is part of an advertisement. He even tilts his head back at certain points in time, showing Nino his glorious neckline. Nino thinks that he can watch Jun like that forever, oozing charisma and beauty. He wonders if Jun, himself knows how breathtaking he is.
He probably doesn’t, Nino concludes.
“I am just not as talented as you are,” Jun confesses later, the beer wearing thin his defences, “There are so many things that I can’t do. When I was in school, I was the only one in class who couldn’t do a backflip,”
Nino leans in closer, reaches for Jun’s hand and places it on top of his, “But Jun-kun has some things that only Jun-kun can do,”
Jun looks at Nino like he has grown another head.
“They say I am an elite in the company,” Jun continues, “because I got the job without an interview. But look at me now, just a lowly manager. What is so elite about me, huh?”
So, this is his opinion of himself, Nino thinks as his thumb rubs circles on the back of Jun’s hand. Always focusing on the parts that he has not done well, always remembering the bad things, always thinking about how he is not good enough.
Nino wants to tell him how the fact that he can manage Nino is a miracle in itself. He wants to tell Jun how fabulous he is and how he cannot take his eyes off him. He wants Jun to know that he remembers the little things that Jun has done for him and is touched by every single one of them - a herbal tea for a cold, a meal when he is rushing his deadlines or a little phone call to make sure he has slept well. Nino wants him to know that he doesn’t care about Jun being an elite or not.
He only cares about Jun being Jun.
___
Nino wakes up the next morning with his head on Jun’s shoulders and his hand on top of Jun’s. He kisses the other man’s shoulders absentmindedly in his morning-dazed state and lets himself enjoy the moment a little more before gently removing himself from his manager’s sleeping figure.
Jun opens his eyes as Nino walks into the bathroom.
He has actually woken up an hour earlier.
___
“Here’s his address and his keys should be in his pocket, ” Sho scribbles apologetically while Aiba drapes himself all over him. Sho, Jun, Nino, and Aiba have been drinking together to celebrate Jun’s one year of managing Nino. They even manage to talk to Ohno, who has embarked on another fishing adventure, over a long distance phone call. Unsurprisingly, Aiba gets himself more than a little drunk and somehow Jun has also drunk a little more than he usually does. Lady luck has not shone on him during janken .
“I love Sho-chan so much, Sho is the best,” Aiba sing-songs, “Sho-chan take me home?”
Sho apologizes again as he closes the door to Jun and Nino’s taxi shut. Jun sits way too close to Nino during the ride and his hands wrap around Nino’s shoulders in a way that suggests the sort of intimacy that they don’t have. Yet to have, Nino’s mind kindly supplies. It would have been responsible of Nino to push him away, but Nino can’t deny how much he likes the way Jun’s warmth pulses against him and decides to indulge himself in it.
Jun-kun lives in a decent neighbourhood, Nino observes when the taxi drops them off. He finds Jun’s house keys easily in his pockets and lets the two of them in. Jun stumbles in the direction of the bathroom and Nino follows quickly after he locks the door, to find his manager leaning over the toilet bowl and throwing up.
Nino removes Jun’s jacket and rubs his back as he bends over to vomit a couple more times. When Jun is finally done, Nino reaches for the tissue on the sink and cleans his face. He tosses the tissue paper aside and wraps his arms around Jun’s torso (hoping that he doesn’t remember the next morning) as the intoxicated man leans against the wall for support. So this is Jun, drunk, defenceless and not glamorous at all.
Nino feels special to be allowed to see Jun like this.
“Nino, I really like you,” Jun mumbles, interrupting Nino’s thoughts.
Nino looks at him and refuses to reply. Jun is drunk and if he wants to confess, he should at least confess when sober. So he pulls Jun up and drags him to bed instead. While Jun falls asleep quickly, Nino seems to have problems shutting down his mind processes. He can’t seem to take his mind off Jun’s drunken confession or the way Jun slouches against the bathroom wall, and decides to venture around Jun’s house since he is so awake.
He lets himself take in the decorations in Jun’s house which are simple and comfortable-looking. Nino thinks the colour scheme of Jun’s house is brown, but there isn’t enough light to tell for sure. What he is certain of, though, is that the apartment is clean, neat and easy to move about in. He likes the spaces that Jun has in the house and Nino wonders metaphorically if he will allow another person into this space.
While sitting on the couch, Nino spots his novel on the coffee table and instinctively reaches for it. Jun is his manager and it is thus unsurprising that he has read Nino’s books, but Nino still feels so happy about it - like a girl watching her boyfriend eat her handmade lunches.
What really does catch Nino by surprise is how the margins of his novel are filled with annotations and Jun’s thoughts about his book. Nino makes himself comfortable and starts reading them, feeling a warmness surround his heart as he thought, Ah, that is what Jun-kun thinks about me.
He laughs at some of the comments - Jun is obviously thinking too much into some of the lines that he has written, or misinterpreted others. At the same time, Nino can’t help but smile to himself when he sees how much Jun appreciated his writing and how much he has engaged himself in the prose. Just reading Jun’s comments makes him remember why he writes; it makes all the sleepless nights and painful fingers worth it. Through the comments, Nino feels how much Jun adores him and his writing, and it overwhelms Nino, sweeping him off his feet.
Nino falls asleep with the image of Jun, wearing his spectacles and poring over his book, frowning cutely at certain lines and smiling at others.
___
“What are you doing here,” Jun asks a barely awakened Nino as he removes the open novel from his face. He tries to ignore the jittery feeling from having Nino find out the notes that he has made all over his novel and decides to play the annoyance card. What will Nino think? Will he be freaked out? Will he be offended? He knows that his crush on Nino is evident through the notes - will Nino distance himself from Jun because he feels awkward? Jun himself sure feels awkward right now as he shifts his weight between his feet.
“Thank me, I sent your sorry ass home after you got drunk and I end up having to sleep on your couch for the night,” Nino says, wriggling around on the couch. Jun is glad that he is avoiding the elephant in the room, as well.
“You could have gone home.”
“Cab fees are expensive.”
“Next time just take it from the wallet yourself.”
“Pay me with the novel then.”
Or maybe not.
___
Jun brings a movie to Nino’s house the next time he visits, to help Nino "get more inspiration” for his novel.
They both know Jun is lying.
While Jun appears to enjoy this art house film a lot, Nino finds himself looking at Jun more than at the movie. He has had a few days to think over everything - from their first meeting, to the various little visits, to the day on the cruise, then to Jun’s somewhat drunken confession and, of course, the novel (which really reads like a love letter at some parts, Nino thinks). The events line up perfectly, like an arrow directing him towards Jun, and Nino wonders if he was the one who was too blind to see it earlier or if he has just refused to admit it until now.
Either way, the next step is his to take.
He lets himself sit close enough to Jun so that their thighs touch each other and sneakily lies his head on Jun’s shoulder. Jun doesn’t move away.
Nino takes a deep breath before he starts.
“Actually, Jun-kun,” he says while the lead character is being depressed over the loss of his love, “I like you too,”
Jun tilts his head slightly towards Nino to see a boyish shyness dancing in Nino’s eyes. Yet it is not just shyness; it is combined with a certain level of brattiness. Like he knows that Jun will say yes, yet at the same time also wanting Jun to say yes. It’s a whole mixture of complicated and contradictory emotions, which somehow mix together into something, that tugs at Jun’s heartstrings.
It’s a feast, Jun realizes, seeing all of Nino’s bare emotions on display. It’s also an honour because Nino is allowing him to see them all.
Jun closes the final distance between them and places his lips on Nino’s. His tongue escapes from his mouth to caress Nino’s lips and the smaller man allows it to enter into his mouth. Their tongues engage in a slow waltz, as they taste each other -their insecurities, their pride, their hopes, and their fears - in an emotional climax. They part slightly to breathe, feeling each other’s breaths against their faces before engaging each other again - desperate to find out more and desperate to share more.
“That was what I was going to say, too,” Jun finally whispers, after their feverish kisses, “I really like you.”
“About time,” Nino mumbles as he leans into Jun’s chest, feeling the beat of Jun’s heart against his cheek.
Jun reaches out for Nino’s hands and laces their fingers together.
There is nothing wrong with being naked if you are with someone you love.
Poll Team AU Prompt 1