Gift fic for elanielyn
To: elanielyn
From: simourva
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Title: The Moon in Your Eyes
Pairing/Group: Kame/Jin, and Jin/OC; KAT-TUN
Rating: R
Warnings: VERY little smut. I'm sorry :( (it's barely there, omg)
Notes: This is AU, where Johnny's Food Co existed and Kame is 29 years old and Jin 23. Thanks to my beta-chan, whose encouragements are invaluable.
The lyrics of Jin's song is from KAT-TUN's Love or Like, translated by nyctea62442 here.
Summary: His name is Kamenashi Kazuya, and he has been ordered to guide Akanishi Jin and groom him to be the next company President.
To elanielyn, I initially planned something crackier, but in the end I couldn't write in that universe and put this up for you because it has been hanging inside my brain for almost a year. It's probably more angsty than you had requested for, but I still hope it fits your drama quota. You gave me a very good reason to love Jin, because I think I love him more than ever by writing for you. Thanks dear, hope you like this one!
----
When Jin arrives at the office, there is no one to entertain him. Everybody is either busy or looking busy - he is forced to mentally remind himself of the few descriptive keywords that his friends in America who spent some time in Japan kindly provided him with (since he has, bless his forgetful self, no proper recollection of events that happened before his teenage years).
Industrious. There are those ladies in high heels making copies of documents, clipping them together with staplers. There are some who are speaking politely, though with a sense of subtle urgency, on the phone in a version of Japanese so courteous, Jin wonders if he's actually using another version (upgraded one, as he opines) of the language.
Polite. The very same ladies who speak with the most self-degrading tone Jin has ever heard also feel the need to bow towards the person on the other side of the line who probably wouldn't be able to see the bow ever.
And, uptight. Someone with immaculately ironed suits began walking past the busy working people (and have them stop whatever they are doing to pay him a small bow) and passing piles of papers (with added instructions), speaking at the speed of a bullet train, giving them acknowledging smiles that Jin speculates are out of courtesy rather than gratitude and throwing Jin an examining glance.
"Akanishi-san?"
Jin nods, grateful that someone finally realizes that there's an unfamiliar figure in the office, uptight authoritarian ass or not.
He gestures for Jin into a room (which Jin assumes is his office) and walks as fast as he speaks. Jin couldn't catch up (and he thinks that he probably would never be able to, even in things other than walking) and he doesn't know who to put the blame on - the uptight authoritarian ass's walking speed or the "artistic" way the stair seems to spiral.
The man closes the door behind Jin, then hammers questions at him.
"I believe that you've been quite exposed to the mechanics, operating systems, products, organizational flows, revenue-related policies and history of the company? Among other things?" Jin couldn't quite register the arsenal of terms that are being thrown towards him, but he is not given a chance to even express that.
"Let me see - you're the President's godchild, left Japan and lived in Los Angeles since you were 10, and now returned to accept his offer." He pauses, then sort of whispers to himself as though he's trying to think of anything to extract from his mental database. "Yea, that's all. Did I miss out anything?"
"My name is Kamenashi Kazuya" - so he has a name after all, Jin thinks - "and I am the Product Development Executive for Johnny's Food Co. The President has specifically requested to have me guide you around."
Jin swallows his saliva, trying to digest all those down, but all he could recall is Kamenashi's odd name and the way his lips pursed to form a rather fascinating shape as he speaks.
"Kamenashi-san?"
"You can call me Kame."
"But everyone else -"
"Everyone else doesn't need to inherit the company in less than 3 years time."
Jin promptly licks his lips in anxiety, trying to find a way to conjure a spell to enable his brain to process the information given to him ten times its usual productivity rate; but Kamenashi - Kame, Jin reminded himself - apparently catches on Jin's nervousness faster than Jin could think of anything to say.
He rises up, flipping a stack of papers and taking some along with him. "Come with me, Akanishi-"
"Jin."
Kame stops short of opening the glass door. "What?"
"My name. Jin."
"Alright." It's the tiniest reaction to his name Jin has ever seen - most people at least repeats it.
___
It takes Kame two hours to give Jin a tour around his department, including introducing him to the managers under him (Nakamaru, Ueda, Koki and Taguchi); but merely twenty minutes to decide that Jin is not, and will probably never be cut out for inheriting a business like Johnny's Food Co. Kame takes two days to list the reasons why - strangely enough, none of them puts Jin in a disfavourable position.
One, Jin questions the fundamentals but is never satisfied with the answer.
Two, Jin makes people question his fundamentals and never provide answers.
Nevertheless, within the time-span of a few days rumours start flying around whispering about Jin's various flirtations with things that are nothing but innocent. Or so they say.
"Hey, did you hear about Akanishi-san bringing home a foreign woman the other day?"
"Someone from the Productions department saw him in Orange, it seems like he's a regular over there."
"Really? I hear things about him being a regular in other clubs too! Like The Disc, Skive, Opera .. the one which just opened in Ginza, have you heard about that?"
Kame walks into his office room and finds Jin fiddling with the latest takoyaki maker sponsored by Panasonic.
"Hey hey Kame, isn't this the most useful tool ever?"
Kame realizes that his bottling annoyance at Jin seems rather irrational at the sight of Jin's playful manner, understanding perfectly that he totally means business even with that barely informative exclamation that strangely, makes perfect sense, if he stops to think about it.
"Jin, how old are you?"
"Why the sudden question? Are you trying to set up an - what's it called - omiai?"
"Nothing. I was told that you were freelancing for a few years before, so I was expecting someone at least my age, but you seem far younger."
"You didn't ask that when I first stepped in here."
"Your age wasn't relevant", Kame said with a brushing gesture.
"I'm 23, is that close to your age?"
Kame tries to remember his own 23-year-old self - he was working with Johnny Food Co as a staff in the Marketing Department, wearing washed out suits and pants with hidden holes, and very, very far from having club-related rumours.
"If you consider 6 years to be close."
Kame pushes all talks about Jin's potentially reputation-damaging air tabloid tales to the back of his mind, making a mental note to find an effective way to tell Jin and the way he invites scandals.
Kame usually cares nothing about what other people do during their private moments, but Jin's the next boss and he has been given the task to groom him. Kame wouldn't fail at any cost. Kame loathes failures at all cost.
___
A week in Johnny's Food Co and Jin hears everything there is to be heard from the employees regarding his - as Jin would like to call him - mentor.
"Kamenashi-san's really a serious person, isn't he? There was this one time where I mistakenly mixed up some documents for him, and he has, I'm not joking, the scariest face I've ever seen on anyone. He was saying really considerate things despite that, but it scares the shit out of me. I remember that other people had faced the same experience. Better be careful - Akanishi-kun, you wouldn't pass this to him, would you? - I'm too old and have worked here far too long to face a sudden lay-off."
"Don't listen to whatever people say, Kamenashi-san deserves everything he has. When he first joined the company, he always comes early and leaves late. There are even times when he didn't go home and slept in the office instead!"
"He's kind now, but compared to a few years back? He even had histories of physical fights when we were almost caught in a food poisoning scandal!"
"I hear he has insomnia. I have a friend who works with the CCTV cameras, and there was one time where he worked all the way over 30 hours without sleeping!"
Somehow after these accidental data collection sessions Jin realizes that he likes hearing about Kame from the older staffs. The younger staffs mostly gush about his good looks, his cool attitude, the "moe moe" way he looks when he puts his glasses on and ... mostly just about his good looks. It didn't strike Jin as much as the comments about Kame's alleged bossiness and arrogance - even if Jin could tell it from him from the first sight - because try as he may, Kame really didn't seem like he radiates an unapproachable aura. Kame takes only two hours to graduate from being "uptight authoritarian ass" to "pretty nice (with a very pretty face to boot)", which is faster than Nakamaru, who went from being "slightly weird face" to "very weird nose" in less than a day. Jin finds Kame at work a quite enticing figure - the way his back arches yet straightens like he is ready for anything, the way his eyes scans everything yet targets a focal point, and the way he seems to hover in his own world and yet aware of his surroundings.
Jin doesn't realize he is staring at Kame long enough to cause a mild disruption - it is only when Kame looks up and stares right back at him that he pulls his gaze away.
"Nothing." Jin answers before Kame could ask.
"Then continue reading about the United States Export Regulations and the changes that will be necessary in the company export policies due to amendment of Act 4 Article 6."
Jin sort of spits mentally as he hears Kame basically reciting whatever he's been trying to read and not understand in the slightest; realizing that he has been underestimating how huge of a distraction Kame is.
It could be embarrassing to admit, even to himself, that he's been observing Kame for more than what has been provided to him prior; like how he wonders why no one ever mentions anything about the bizarre outline of the shape of Kame's nose.
He reasons to himself that he noticed that only because he needs to look at him from the side and learn, but that doesn't make it any less embarrassing to admit. As stupid as Jin is, he's not ready to admit that his only achievement in his godfather's company is the successful facial profiling of his mentor.
___
Kame finally finds an opportune moment to speak to Jin. It has been a bad day for him, between getting his proposals mixed up, reports on the new products undone, the upper management chasing him for Jin's progress, and being sleep-deprived and nightmare-laden, he really couldn't waste more time in mulling over trivial things like Jin's interest in clubbing.
"They are my friends." No hesitation, no denial, no lies. Kame's not too sure about the last one.
He sighs.
"Jin, no one would have cared if you're not someone. Unfortunately, you are someone, very important at that. Whatever you do, please don't get caught."
Jin furrows his brows, visibly rather dejected. "I was just socializing. Why is that wrong?"
"It's not, I'll not say it is. But tabloids target people like you and your nightly affairs and make it news. You could get someone from the entertainment industry involved and it will be a very undesirable prospect for the company."
"So because I'm going to inherit the company, I need to stay friendless?"
Kame has forseen such a response from him. "Think what you will. I've said what I needed to say."
From the corner of his eyes Kame sees Jin's eyes being habitually fixed towards his direction. This time, he didn't feel like looking back at him.
"Aren't you going to ask me anything else?"
Kame doesn't know why that is relevant. "No."
"I was hoping you would ask about how I got to know them, at least."
It makes Kame feel like the person with the coldest heart on earth.
___
Jin is about to fall asleep when he receives a call from Yamapi, his model friend who is also the sleeping partner of Opera, the latest "it" club.
"Hey, do you know someone named Kazuya?"
It takes Jin a while to relate "Kazuya" to Kame. "Yes, why?"
"He's drunk and arguing with the bartender. Apparently he ordered a glass of vodka martini instead of a B52 and I reckon it's best to contact someone close to him before he starts flipping the bar tables."
"How do you know to contact me?"
"He still has his work outfit on, and his namecard is still in his breast pocket. Doesn't take a nuclear scientist to tell me to call you when I see something that says Johnny's Food Co. Now will you please come and calm your subordinate before he starts shouting how we overcharged him?"
Jin rushes to Opera to find Yamapi waiting for him outside the club.
"He kissed Jennifer just now, you are quite late." Jennifer is Opera's resident pimp, also a transexual who likes to hit on young men.
Jin finds Kame slouched on the bar table, eyes uncharacteristically unfocused and vacant. His fingers are aimlessly playing with the glass, like he doesn't know whether he will be drinking the contents or not. Jin thinks he might have worn out his latent energy by making those ruckus he just missed out on.
"Kame." Jin calls to him, putting his hands over Kame's shoulder.
"Let's go home." It doesn't matter that Jin doesn't even know where Kame's house is, Jin's apartment could be his home for tonight.
Kame's eyes are tired and droopy - probably from the excessive alcohol, Jin thinks - but when he turns to look at Jin, it was as though Kame's entire face awakens with a fresh sense of alertness. Jin feels his cheeks burn; he understands Kame's intense approach to life's everything with perfection, but not when it's directed towards him.
Jin maintains the eye contact, but whispers in a softer voice. "Come on, Kame, let's go home."
Kame's lips form a small smirk, and his hand begins to stroke Jin's cheeks. "They say I don't know what I'm talking about." It hurts Jin slightly to hear a defeating-sounding Kame.
Jin slowly mirrors Kame's movements. "Well, they don't know you. Don't listen to them. You're tired and you need sleep. Come with me."
It takes a few clock-stopping moments before Jin could snap himself from the trance-like state of staring into Kame's blank eyes and slowly caressing his worn-out face. He immediately carries Kame to his car and speeds back to his own apartment.
___
Kame keeps hearing voices at the back of his head. Everytime he dreams, everytime he leaves himself in a state of near-unconsciousness, and everytime he lets his thoughts run loose.
Voices detailing his failures.
Voices dictating his duties.
Voices declaring damages done by his own hands.
Kame would never remember those words as clearly as he does tonight, but they will also never leave the deserted corner at the back of his head.
__
Kame never stops giggling on the way up to Jin's apartment, earning them a wary look from Jin's neighbour who lives a floor below (and he looks pretty relieved to be leaving the lift).
When Jin frantically searches his pocket for his keys, Kame turns around and takes the liberty to lean on the wall next to the door, telling Jin all about his adventures in the bar.
"Whoa, it's full moon tonight." Jin couldn't expand his vision beyond his own pocket, let alone to look at the moon.
"I think so."
"You see, I told the bartender that he doesn't know me at all, is he new? It's like he was so new..."
Jin finally opens the door and drags Kame inside to his bed.
Kame lies on his back, and Jin is about to leave to the bathroom to get some fresh towels when Kame pulls Jin along so Jin is right on top of him.
"Your heart, your heart ~ is beating fast, Jin ~"
As drunk as Kame is, Jin has to admit that he is spot-on with that. Kame's face is very close to his own. Very, very close.
"You look like you're anticipating something."
Jin's heart is racing faster by the second. He doesn't know if he could survive the rapidly quickening heartbeat rate. Kame's hand tugs Jin's collar, pulling Jin so near, he could probably even identify what Kame has been drinking the entire night.
"Kiss me."
Jin complies.
__
Kame wakes up and finds himself in a mess he never remember making and a headache.
He also wakes up to see Jin sleeping beside him and a digital clock that tells him that it's 7.30 am in the morning.
The throbbing pain in his head and his raging body heat stop him from checking his garments, though he can tell that he still has his pants on (and that means that he probably didn't do anything indecent to anyone last night) but it means that he had drank more than he ever did and he doesn't remember why.
Jin stirs, then opens his eyes slowly. "You woke up?" he asks sleepily.
"My head .." is all Kame could say. He is desperately massaging his head, hoping that it will miraculously make it stop aching.
Jin gets up from his bed and heads towards the bathroom. Kame vaguely hears the sound of water running for a short while, then Jin comes back with a hot towel in his hands.
"Here, wipe your face with it."
He goes back into the bathroom before Kame could say "thank you", and yells a small "GO BACK TO SLEEP" from inside the bathroom.
Kame pats his faces with the hot towel and scans around the room. The walls are plastered with a mixture of posters of various western artists, the tables filled with scattered scribbled papers, sometimes musical notes, and there's a guitar at the corner of the room, right beside a luxurious sofa (which seems to be the most expensive item in the room). The laptop is attached to the stereo sound system, and it shows Jin's email inbox (Kame immediately turns away from the screen).
He gets up and picks up things that belong to him, but Jin stops him.
"I applied for a medical leave for you today, stay here and rest."
Part of him wants to yell at Jin for making decisions for him, but the rest of him retires to oblige his staggering body and his spinning head.
___
As expected, Kame wouldn't rest for long.
By afternoon, he is storming back into his office (with the outfit worn since the day before), resuming his work that seems to be piling on his desk faster than he could get them off (Jin wonders if he ever gets any proper rest if hangover didn't make him feel like taking one, albeit a short one) and drilling Jin about everything that happened the night before.
"You didn't do anything." Jin tries to appear as nonchalant as possible.
"I mean before I was taken home." Kame is a very persistent interrogator.
"I didn't see it" - Jin feels that he needs to disclaim somehow - "but Yamapi said you kissed Jennifer."
To Jin's surprise, Kame doesn't look like he is shocked. "And?"
"You didn't flip any tables."
Kame raises one of his eyebrows.
"Ok, you argued with the bartender."
Eyebrows down.
Jin hesitates. "And nothing else."
By "nothing else" he means that Kame has the most delicious alcohol-tasting tongue, the most sensual fingers as they caress his necks, and the most tempting moans. Jin has kissed many people (he's pretty sure almost all of them are girls), but Kame kisses like he wants Jin to want him - there's a tinge of competition and demand that Jin usually sees in Kame's working mode and it turns him on. So hard.
He is quite sure that Kame doesn't have to know those, including the fact that he had to pull himself forcibly and took a cold shower (Kame is thankfully asleep by the time he returned from shower).
Or maybe not now.
"Hey." Kame calls up suddenly.
Jin suddenly finds himself unable to look Kame in the eyes.
"Oh, uhm" - Jin is trying hard to suppress his cheeks from heating up - "are you into music?"
"Yea, you saw those sheets? Most of them are just random things, half of them gets forgotten as soon as I write them down." Jin answers, without looking up.
"Can I-"
"Yes!" Jin feels so dumb answering Kame before he can hear what he's going to say, he immediately regrets saying it.
"I mean-"
"Oh yea?" He mouths a small apology for repeating the same dumb move, and now he's beginning to curse the day he was born.
"Listening to you sing will be great."
Oh snap, Jin totally doesn't see that coming.
__
Wanting to hear Jin sing turns out to be a partial lie - Kame finds himself sleeping whenever he gets invited into Jin's apartment.
It's actually not in his original plan to do so, Kame insists to himself and Jin. For some reason, Kame gets sleepy whenever he settles himself, whether it's Jin's expensive designer sofa or the side of the bed where his pillow sometimes fall to. Jin always tells him to not be sorry and asks him to be glad that he can actually relax somewhere; Kame negates him by saying that his apartment is just not meant for anything productive.
It actually does Kame good. When he sleeps at Jin's apartment, he stops having dreams. He feels refreshed everytime he wakes up, sometimes finding Jin sleeping on something else (sometimes the bed when Kame occupies the couch, sometimes the couch when Kame occupies the bed), sometimes finding him in front of his computer, but always with a homely, welcoming smile. It relaxes him, it always does.
It takes Kame a month to be able to finally hear Jin sing.
Kame is sleeping on Jin's bed, and wakes up to a soft strumming of guitar - Jin is holding his guitar with a piece of paper by his side, humming to the full moon in the night sky.
Kame walks to him, startling him.
"Did I wake you up?"
Kame shakes his head. "What's the song about?"
Jin looks down on his feet, like he's trying hard to compose his thoughts together. "I don't know. It feels weird but I just write what I feel at the moment, and I don't know how to describe it."
"May I?" Kame motions to the lyrics sheet. Jin hands it over to him, and he tries to make out something from the messy handwriting, multiple crosses and re-crosses, and sudden notes that are pointed in from somewhere else on the paper.
"Since the two feelings overlap, I silently watch you. When you look down your smile doesn't fade. Even for just a while, let me walk beside you," Kame reads.
Jin snorts. "It's kinda bad, isn't it?"
"I think it's beautiful," Kame says.
Jin eyes go wide with surprise.
"Really?"
"Well, I'll be touched if someone says that to me. It's simple, it's like, it's really-"
Kame sees the gleam in Jin's eyes, wondering if he has just said something wrong, but realizes a while later that they reflect the light from the moon.
Kame couldn't tear his eyes away from Jin's.
"It's you."
Jin's entire face shines from the rays illuminated from the moonlight and from - Kame is doubting his own logic - bliss.
For the first time, Kame feels like he knows what real beauty is.
__
Jin doesn't expect Kame to act any different at work, and Jin thinks that he can live with it.
When Kame's at work, he's strict, he's rule-abiding, he's straightforward.
When Kame's with Jin, he's pretty funny (in a way that makes Jin giggles from the way Kame thinks he's making a joke instead of the joke itself), he's free (laughing with his mouth wide open, like he's genuinely happy) and he's also straightforward.
Jin loves that when he tries to touch Kame's wrist, he will hold his hand. And he loves that when he leans close to Kame, he will drop his head to his chest. And how Kame lets him put his arms around him. How he lets Jin lie on his thigh.
How he lets Jin enter his world, and how he wants to be a part of Jin's world.
Jin tells him about his life in LA ("I could tell the fake boobs from real", as he says enthusiatically), about his life as a freelance songwriter ("They credited my other name, Aqua Neesha, but the songs barely bear any resemblance to what I have written", as he says in a fit of comedic disappointment) and his family and friends ("My mom loves those Korean stars and insist that I look a bit like that Bae Yoong Jun, do you think so?" as he asks confusingly) - Jin tells him everything.
Kame laughs every single time.
And he goes back to being an unbearable, insufferable, sometimes-untolerable mentor the moment they leave Jin's apartment and back to Johnny's Food Co.
Jin knows that he can live with the two versions of Kame, but he slowly begins to resent how little they spend together in Jin's apartment and how much they are forced to spend in Kame's disgustingly neat office.
He tries to brush the thoughts away as Kame says the nicest things about his (in his opinion) pointless lyrics and as they lean close to each other and butterflies flutter inside him.
There are times when Jin wants to kiss Kame so badly, he pulls himself back. He feels like if he goes any closer he might ruin everything.
During those times Kame will hold Jin even closer, like he can read Jin like one of those books that lies on his many shelves.
Jin could also read Kame like one of those books, only Jin feels like the book understands him more than he understands it.
___
Kame knows that he has no dream memory, and he can totally live with that.
But he remembers having them each and everytime without fail.
He wakes up sweating profusely, panting erratically, and heart pounding ten times faster than normal.
Jin shows up in front of him and calls him softly, then gives Kame an embrace that Kame swears could wrap his entire body in a blanket. When they part Jin puts his lips on Kame's and pecks him lightly.
"It's alright," Jin whispers. "I'm here."
Kame runs his thumb along Jin's cheeks to his lips, then he pulls Jin close and lock their lips together in what seems to be the longest kiss ever.
He feels like there's a sense of déjà vu, which Jin answers a short while later.
"It's not the first time we do this, you know?" Jin declares with a wide open-mouthed smile.
"Really?"
"You were drunk."
"Did you take advantage of me?" Kame couldn't help but laugh a little, feeling infinitely grateful that Jin is there at the moment, or maybe a little more than grateful that he has someone like him. At the moment gratitude is the only feeling consuming him, he feels like he wants Jin so much, he couldn't remember feeling the panic that drains his all his energy away just a few minutes ago.
"I couldn't, you fell asleep so fast." Jin could have been pouting, but Kame couldn't tell because he's busy trailing Jin's neck with his finger.
He undoes the first button of Jin's shirt. "Your loss."
The second button. "I'm so totally taking -"
The third button. "-advantage-"
The fourth. "-of you-"
The last. "-right now."
Kame places his palm on the spot where Jin's heart is - it is pounding like it's struggling not to jump out from his chest.
He slips his hand behind Jin's neck for a fast, needy kiss, then he pushes him down to make him lie on his back. Jin tucks Kame's hair behind his ears, and presses him closer to his hips.
"Do it.'
Kame lets his kisses trail Jin's body from the upper part of his crotch back to his lips, and while his body grinds slowly against Jin's. He loves the way Jin arches and relaxes his body in pleasure, he loves the way Jin's fingernails claim his back as Jin buries his face on the nook of his neck, he loves the way Jin excites his nipples, and most of all he loves the way he fits right inside him.
When it's over Kame feels that he vaguely hears Jin telling him to stay with him forever, and he is brought to a rather stopping epiphany.
He tries to force out the sickening thought about the way he might have started a new dream with Jin the moment he stops his previous nightmares.
He doesn't know if he has to be sorry to have dragged Jin into it.
He watches Jin sleep that night - he sometimes exposes his stomach and kicks random things to the floor, but Kame has never seen a sleeping form as peaceful.
It makes him feel even worse.
__
Living The American Dream
Will There Be A Coup d' Etat in Johnny's Food Co?
The heir of the Japan's biggest food export, Akanishi Jin of Johnny's Food Co has been storming the headlines of the business gossips recently for a potential change in the management lineup. The corporate giant announced earlier this year that Akanishi, who is, until recently, a shadow figure in the hierarchy of President Kitagawa's family. Kitagawa took Akanishi as his godchild as he visited a longtime acquaintance in Los Angeles when Akanishi was 14, as he revealed during the announcement. Akanishi, who agreed to the offer due to his deep gratitude for Kitagawa, is slated to be fit to take over the lead position in the company in 3 years, under the tutelage of the head of the Product Development department, Kamenashi Kazuya, a widely recognized force of creativity in the company.
This week has been busy with the onslaught of allegations of the long-going feud between Kamenashi Kazuya and the head of the Finance department, Yamamoto Keiji that also includes Akanishi in the mix. The connection was made via the apparent obliviousness of the upper management of Johhny's in regards to Akanishi's "extra-curricular" endeavors (sometimes including an array of models and up-and-coming singers, including Yamashita Tomohisa). Given the nature of Kamenashi's strict regime, some has been wildly speculating about the loose control given to Akanishi (a freelancer prior to the announcement) despite the tight timeframe to groom him into a business tycoon-to-be.
What looked like a flawless albeit idealistic business-related proposal might hide a thorn - especially when it is a thorn as huge as Akanishi's obvious unpreparedness. If it is true that Kamenashi has been letting Akanishi off, does he has any plans to supplement Akanishi's lacking repertoire that could fit the solid foundations of Johnny's Food Co? With consideration of his past actions when it comes to near scandals that almost caused Johnny's irreparable damages, Kamenashi has always been an individual of action instead mere talk.
Will this spawn another shocking action from Kamenashi? Will he take things into his own hands should the issue with Akanishi spiral out of his control? Should -
"Slam that magazine shut."
Inoue Risa and Fujiwara Kanako run to their respective places.
Getting laid off by Kamenashi Kazuya for simple reasons such as "reading thrashy magazines during work" seems like a very embarrassing thing to be written on resumes.
_
"Looks like you made some headlines again," Yamapi laughs.
Jin rolls his eyes. "I didn't come here to be mocked at, Pi."
"Can't say I'm not impressed at you being a part of a business plan," Yamapi retorts.
Jin twists his pint of beer. "It's more complicated than you think."
"I know."
Jin's eyes go wide with genuine surprise. "What, really?"
"I'm not blind, you know? You haven't really been around for a few months," Yamapi gulps Jin's beer to Jin's resistance - "Hey, drink yours!" - when his own pint ran out.
Jin sighs. It has been a week since newspapers and gossips took hold of a certain secret insider informant's (and no one has got any lead as to who that actually is) and published several versions of how Jin and Kame's perceived relationship is. Business columns say that Kame is actually conspiring to dispose of Yamamoto Keiji by getting hold of Jin and his imminent power, providing analogies that seem to love portraying Jin with strings attached and controlled by Kame. Women's magazines drew the conclusion (with pictures of them leaving the office building together) that they might be in love and are engaged in secret liaisons. The internet details about their schedules and writes about what they think happened during their "secret" dates; Jin even found a manga version of himself, disgustingly all over the manga version of another guy he presumed is supposed to be Kame.
Kame's 180 degree change in attitude alarms Jin. He stops going to Jin's place, he stops being patient to him, and most disappointingly, he also stops meeting Jin's eyes. Jin feels like he's being treated as someone even lesser than a worm, because Kame will smile and acknowledge even a beggar.
Maybe he doesn't know Kame at all, but Jin doesn't like that idea.
His thoughts are interrupted when Yamapi points him to a pretty girl across the bar. "Jin, that girl has been eyeing you for quite some time."
She's a knockout, Jin thinks. When Jin smiles at her, she turns to her friends and giggles.
"Go get her," Yamapi suggests. "Maybe it can get your mind off some people."
Jin thinks that it's not too bad as a way to spend the rest of the night (because it looks like Yamapi's girlfriend is heading towards the club), and he could really use some distraction at the moment.
"By the way, if you see the Kazuya, please tell him Jennifer's really crazy about him," Yamapi says with a know-it-all smirk and adds, "looks like you have a competition."
Jin feels the urge to punch Yamapi right in the face, but he has already gone to get his girlfriend and Jin is left with no choice but to check out the girl.
Her name is Reira and she's a part-time model, as Jin finds out when she dances with Jin in a small corner.
She kisses well too, as Jin discovers when he grabs her close and smells her perfume, feeling her bare skin and pushing her gently against the dark glass wall. Jin rarely kisses a girl he barely knows, but there is a monster inside him that aches to release the lump of repressed bitterness by Kame's abrupt coldness.
The monster is purring. He's telling him that he should push Kame out of his mind and enjoy the attention from Reira. Thanks to Kame, he has been paying so little attention to other people and now he deserves every adoration from anybody. He lifts her legs and positions them on his waist, slipping his hands inside to fiddle with her black fishnet leggings, tracing her very slightly on her sensitive spot. She purrs back, answering to that monster within himself and it's licking its lips very contently.
The monster is roaring. He's growling at him, impatiently urging him, sending a streaming rush of heated electrifying desire flowing fiercely in him. He feels his entire body stimulated by her whimpers and her seductive moans. His lips grazes her breast slightly as he brings her closer to him, and when he looks over her shoulder, he sees his own reflection from the dark glossy walls and he also sees Kame.
He sees Kame's delicate backs and the side of his cheeks up close as he perches his chin on Kame's shoulder, positioning his own head besides his ears; fingers intertwining, half gripping and half twiddling. He sees Kame's semi-victorious smirks and his piercing eyes, sometimes filling him with affection and sometimes scorching things under his skin, making him melt. He feels Kame's lips adoring his body and Kame's sweating body over his back and he drops Reira.
Jin's phone vibrates, as if on cue, and it doesn't come across his mind to check the caller ID.
"Who's that?" Reira asks, disgruntled by the sudden halt.
"Jin, where are you?"
It's Kame.
_
Kame doesn't get to hear Jin answering back.
He hangs up on him because he knows clearly that he is having the time of his life, with his friends and the music and the alcohol. Kame has called him out of acting on sheer instinct, and he immediately regrets it.
He slums down on his seat, eyes looking up at the moonless sky transparent from his glass windows. His thoughts are now revolving around the confidential conference that just ended - held to "assess" the situation with Jin's progress in his apprenticeship, and there are plans to move his education from Kame's hand to Harvard's, effective almost immediately.
Jin calls back almost immediately.
"Hey."
Kame doesn't answer.
"Kame?"
He wants to hang up pretty badly.
"Are you still in the office? I'll be there-"
"No."
The silence that ensues is rather awkward. It feels like having a phone conversation with a stranger.
"Kame, I..I.."
"It's ok."
"Wait, please-"
"I'm sorry to have disturbed you. I'll speak to you tomorrow morning."
They are not heading towards a break-up, Kame insists to himself.
They have never started anything to begin with.
Or have they?
Kame's not sure.
Up in the sky, two of the most distant stars are blinking.
Maybe, just maybe, if the stars can shine even from an unquestionably unreachable distance, he too, could save some of irretrievable memories and keep them in the tiny nucleus of his mind, so that they can shine during the darkest periods in the days to come.
That's where he plans to make Jin stay in his mind for the rest of his life.
__
Jin calls Kame's secretary to get his home address, but he has to wait 2 hours and 5 bottles of beer later before Kame finally comes out from the lift to his apartment.
"What are you doing here?"
Jin wants to say "I wanted to see you", but the words trap themselves in his vocal chord.
Instead, he asks Kame something that has been bugging him for quite some time.
"You actually love me, right?"
Kame doesn't answer.
Jin swears to himself that he's still sober. He's still sober and he can walk and make love to Kame and do everything he has ever thought of doing to him.
"Hey Kame, you love me, right?"
He grabs both sides of Kame's hand and make him drop his briefcase and the supper he bought from the kombini shop, wrap them around him and nuzzle him on the neck.
Kame pushes him away.
"Jin, go home."
He's not about to let Kame push him that easily. He pulls him back in a tight embrace.
"No."
Jin finds his place on the spot on Kame's shoulder and rests his weight on it.
Kame wraps his arms around Jin, and Jin feels his whole body weakening. He hesitantly nibbles his ears and whispers "come in".
He loosens his grip on him and watches him as he swipes his door security card into the sensor and follows him inside.
Kame's house is flawlessly clean, gleamingly dustless and immaculately designed.
Jin doesn't see all that. He doesn't want to see how Kame's house looks like despite wondering about it for ages and wanting to see it since forever. He wants to kiss him senseless, kiss him until he finally tells Jin that he loves him and they will be together forever.
He doesn't realize that he has been speaking exactly what is in his mind since the door closes.
"Are you out of your mind?" Kame pushes Jin's overly affectionate hands down.
He drags Jin to his bathroom and turns on the shower, then throws Jin into the bathroom, drenching him with the water.
He disappears for a short while, then returns changed in a shirt and boxer shorts that Jin assumes are his usual "home" clothes with a towel and some clothes.
"Feeling better?"
Kame's eyes are tender - it's the type that Jin sees him with when he's looking at him strumming his guitar and singing. It's when he looks at Jin's fingers and whine about how short his fingers are in comparison. It's when he's stroking the lines of his face and murmurs in low voices about nothing in particular.
"I don't know how to turn this off."
His lips curve to form a small smile and he walks in to turn the switch off, promptly stopping the shower on top of Jin's head and throws a towel to him.
"I'll wait for you outside."
_
Jin comes out looking like Kame's clothes fit him two sizes too small and Kame couldn't help stifling a giggle.
"Stop laughing."
"I'm sorry, I'll get you something larger."
When Kame comes with a new pair of shorts, he sees Jin studying his baseball paraphernalia collection.
"Change into this."
"Are you into baseball?" Jin's eyes liven up with curiosity.
"Quitted it when I was 16." Kame takes the baseball signed by Matsui Hideki and throws it aimlessly in the air.
"Why?"
"Arm injury." Kame places the ball back to its place.
Jin's face wears a startled expression, Kame's not comfortable with that.
"Get your clothes and go home."
Jin sighs heavily, arms flailing slightly on the sides.
"Fine."
He paces back and forth a few steps and brushes his palms on the shorts.
"I don't understand you."
'I really don't understand you."
Kame would like to remind Jin that it's already 2 in the morning, but Jin raises his voice higher.
"You never tell me anything, not your past, not your present, not even what you think of me."
"Jin, be quiet -"
"You used to come to me, and now you push me away."
"The neighbors are-"
"If you want to know I was with a girl when you called-"
"SHHHH-"
"I was this close to fucking her and I remembered you-"
"JIN, SHUT UP."
They glare at each other across the room, wishing that they didn't speak at all.
The silence that falls feels like it could freeze them both for thousands of years. Kame wonders when has the two of them changed to be something this numbing.
"You were saying?" Kame murmurs under his breath.
"Nothing."
"It was something about remembering me."
"Nothing."
"Alright." Kame retreats a few steps, preparing to turn and head on to his bedroom. "You can sleep on the couch."
"Kame."
He stops. He's not sure if he wants to deal with anything that comes after this.
"Are we over?"
"I don't know." He wants to brick himself for not being able to say "yes".
"Do you want us to be over?"
Kame answers after thinking for what seems like forever. "I don't know what I want."
Jin comes forward to him, giving him the baseball that he just placed back on the display shelf.
"What about baseball?"
"I gave that up a long time ago."
"Do you still like it?"
"Yes." Kame pauses. "Very much."
"What about me?"
Kame draws Jin's face close to his, halting himself right before their lips touch.
"What about me?" Jin repeats, nudging Kame's sideburn with the tip of his nose.
Kame says nothing. He kisses Jin hard and harder until he can feel Jin's body dissolve and his own conscience evanescing into the thin air.
__
Later, right before the sunrise, Jin tells Kame all about his dreams - how he wants to compile an album of his compositions. How he wants to make everyone enjoy his music. How he wants to be free. How he feels that Harvard will fit him like Mozart fits his songs.
Kame tells him something that Jin regards as the best advise Kame ever gave as a mentor ever - "be yourself."
Somehow they both know that it's going to be one of their rarest moment to laugh together, but it's ok. Because one day when Jin is no longer the heir of Kame's employer, Jin will come back to drag Kame to live a fragment of his childhood dream. Jin demands to see pictures of Kame as a baseball player, and when Kame refuses to show him, he says ok. Because he will come back and make Kame pose as a baseball player. He will make Kame play baseball.
And a little while later, right after the sunset, Jin leaves Japan for Los Angeles, promising the President that he will reconsider the offer in a few years and promising Kame that he will live his own dream.
Kame knows that it will be some time before he can meet Jin again, but it's ok.
He will look at the moon in the sky and remember those nights when Jin sings to him, and smiles like he shines brighter than the moon.
__
From: simourva
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Title: The Moon in Your Eyes
Pairing/Group: Kame/Jin, and Jin/OC; KAT-TUN
Rating: R
Warnings: VERY little smut. I'm sorry :( (it's barely there, omg)
Notes: This is AU, where Johnny's Food Co existed and Kame is 29 years old and Jin 23. Thanks to my beta-chan, whose encouragements are invaluable.
The lyrics of Jin's song is from KAT-TUN's Love or Like, translated by nyctea62442 here.
Summary: His name is Kamenashi Kazuya, and he has been ordered to guide Akanishi Jin and groom him to be the next company President.
To elanielyn, I initially planned something crackier, but in the end I couldn't write in that universe and put this up for you because it has been hanging inside my brain for almost a year. It's probably more angsty than you had requested for, but I still hope it fits your drama quota. You gave me a very good reason to love Jin, because I think I love him more than ever by writing for you. Thanks dear, hope you like this one!
----
When Jin arrives at the office, there is no one to entertain him. Everybody is either busy or looking busy - he is forced to mentally remind himself of the few descriptive keywords that his friends in America who spent some time in Japan kindly provided him with (since he has, bless his forgetful self, no proper recollection of events that happened before his teenage years).
Industrious. There are those ladies in high heels making copies of documents, clipping them together with staplers. There are some who are speaking politely, though with a sense of subtle urgency, on the phone in a version of Japanese so courteous, Jin wonders if he's actually using another version (upgraded one, as he opines) of the language.
Polite. The very same ladies who speak with the most self-degrading tone Jin has ever heard also feel the need to bow towards the person on the other side of the line who probably wouldn't be able to see the bow ever.
And, uptight. Someone with immaculately ironed suits began walking past the busy working people (and have them stop whatever they are doing to pay him a small bow) and passing piles of papers (with added instructions), speaking at the speed of a bullet train, giving them acknowledging smiles that Jin speculates are out of courtesy rather than gratitude and throwing Jin an examining glance.
"Akanishi-san?"
Jin nods, grateful that someone finally realizes that there's an unfamiliar figure in the office, uptight authoritarian ass or not.
He gestures for Jin into a room (which Jin assumes is his office) and walks as fast as he speaks. Jin couldn't catch up (and he thinks that he probably would never be able to, even in things other than walking) and he doesn't know who to put the blame on - the uptight authoritarian ass's walking speed or the "artistic" way the stair seems to spiral.
The man closes the door behind Jin, then hammers questions at him.
"I believe that you've been quite exposed to the mechanics, operating systems, products, organizational flows, revenue-related policies and history of the company? Among other things?" Jin couldn't quite register the arsenal of terms that are being thrown towards him, but he is not given a chance to even express that.
"Let me see - you're the President's godchild, left Japan and lived in Los Angeles since you were 10, and now returned to accept his offer." He pauses, then sort of whispers to himself as though he's trying to think of anything to extract from his mental database. "Yea, that's all. Did I miss out anything?"
"My name is Kamenashi Kazuya" - so he has a name after all, Jin thinks - "and I am the Product Development Executive for Johnny's Food Co. The President has specifically requested to have me guide you around."
Jin swallows his saliva, trying to digest all those down, but all he could recall is Kamenashi's odd name and the way his lips pursed to form a rather fascinating shape as he speaks.
"Kamenashi-san?"
"You can call me Kame."
"But everyone else -"
"Everyone else doesn't need to inherit the company in less than 3 years time."
Jin promptly licks his lips in anxiety, trying to find a way to conjure a spell to enable his brain to process the information given to him ten times its usual productivity rate; but Kamenashi - Kame, Jin reminded himself - apparently catches on Jin's nervousness faster than Jin could think of anything to say.
He rises up, flipping a stack of papers and taking some along with him. "Come with me, Akanishi-"
"Jin."
Kame stops short of opening the glass door. "What?"
"My name. Jin."
"Alright." It's the tiniest reaction to his name Jin has ever seen - most people at least repeats it.
___
It takes Kame two hours to give Jin a tour around his department, including introducing him to the managers under him (Nakamaru, Ueda, Koki and Taguchi); but merely twenty minutes to decide that Jin is not, and will probably never be cut out for inheriting a business like Johnny's Food Co. Kame takes two days to list the reasons why - strangely enough, none of them puts Jin in a disfavourable position.
One, Jin questions the fundamentals but is never satisfied with the answer.
Two, Jin makes people question his fundamentals and never provide answers.
Nevertheless, within the time-span of a few days rumours start flying around whispering about Jin's various flirtations with things that are nothing but innocent. Or so they say.
"Hey, did you hear about Akanishi-san bringing home a foreign woman the other day?"
"Someone from the Productions department saw him in Orange, it seems like he's a regular over there."
"Really? I hear things about him being a regular in other clubs too! Like The Disc, Skive, Opera .. the one which just opened in Ginza, have you heard about that?"
Kame walks into his office room and finds Jin fiddling with the latest takoyaki maker sponsored by Panasonic.
"Hey hey Kame, isn't this the most useful tool ever?"
Kame realizes that his bottling annoyance at Jin seems rather irrational at the sight of Jin's playful manner, understanding perfectly that he totally means business even with that barely informative exclamation that strangely, makes perfect sense, if he stops to think about it.
"Jin, how old are you?"
"Why the sudden question? Are you trying to set up an - what's it called - omiai?"
"Nothing. I was told that you were freelancing for a few years before, so I was expecting someone at least my age, but you seem far younger."
"You didn't ask that when I first stepped in here."
"Your age wasn't relevant", Kame said with a brushing gesture.
"I'm 23, is that close to your age?"
Kame tries to remember his own 23-year-old self - he was working with Johnny Food Co as a staff in the Marketing Department, wearing washed out suits and pants with hidden holes, and very, very far from having club-related rumours.
"If you consider 6 years to be close."
Kame pushes all talks about Jin's potentially reputation-damaging air tabloid tales to the back of his mind, making a mental note to find an effective way to tell Jin and the way he invites scandals.
Kame usually cares nothing about what other people do during their private moments, but Jin's the next boss and he has been given the task to groom him. Kame wouldn't fail at any cost. Kame loathes failures at all cost.
___
A week in Johnny's Food Co and Jin hears everything there is to be heard from the employees regarding his - as Jin would like to call him - mentor.
"Kamenashi-san's really a serious person, isn't he? There was this one time where I mistakenly mixed up some documents for him, and he has, I'm not joking, the scariest face I've ever seen on anyone. He was saying really considerate things despite that, but it scares the shit out of me. I remember that other people had faced the same experience. Better be careful - Akanishi-kun, you wouldn't pass this to him, would you? - I'm too old and have worked here far too long to face a sudden lay-off."
"Don't listen to whatever people say, Kamenashi-san deserves everything he has. When he first joined the company, he always comes early and leaves late. There are even times when he didn't go home and slept in the office instead!"
"He's kind now, but compared to a few years back? He even had histories of physical fights when we were almost caught in a food poisoning scandal!"
"I hear he has insomnia. I have a friend who works with the CCTV cameras, and there was one time where he worked all the way over 30 hours without sleeping!"
Somehow after these accidental data collection sessions Jin realizes that he likes hearing about Kame from the older staffs. The younger staffs mostly gush about his good looks, his cool attitude, the "moe moe" way he looks when he puts his glasses on and ... mostly just about his good looks. It didn't strike Jin as much as the comments about Kame's alleged bossiness and arrogance - even if Jin could tell it from him from the first sight - because try as he may, Kame really didn't seem like he radiates an unapproachable aura. Kame takes only two hours to graduate from being "uptight authoritarian ass" to "pretty nice (with a very pretty face to boot)", which is faster than Nakamaru, who went from being "slightly weird face" to "very weird nose" in less than a day. Jin finds Kame at work a quite enticing figure - the way his back arches yet straightens like he is ready for anything, the way his eyes scans everything yet targets a focal point, and the way he seems to hover in his own world and yet aware of his surroundings.
Jin doesn't realize he is staring at Kame long enough to cause a mild disruption - it is only when Kame looks up and stares right back at him that he pulls his gaze away.
"Nothing." Jin answers before Kame could ask.
"Then continue reading about the United States Export Regulations and the changes that will be necessary in the company export policies due to amendment of Act 4 Article 6."
Jin sort of spits mentally as he hears Kame basically reciting whatever he's been trying to read and not understand in the slightest; realizing that he has been underestimating how huge of a distraction Kame is.
It could be embarrassing to admit, even to himself, that he's been observing Kame for more than what has been provided to him prior; like how he wonders why no one ever mentions anything about the bizarre outline of the shape of Kame's nose.
He reasons to himself that he noticed that only because he needs to look at him from the side and learn, but that doesn't make it any less embarrassing to admit. As stupid as Jin is, he's not ready to admit that his only achievement in his godfather's company is the successful facial profiling of his mentor.
___
Kame finally finds an opportune moment to speak to Jin. It has been a bad day for him, between getting his proposals mixed up, reports on the new products undone, the upper management chasing him for Jin's progress, and being sleep-deprived and nightmare-laden, he really couldn't waste more time in mulling over trivial things like Jin's interest in clubbing.
"They are my friends." No hesitation, no denial, no lies. Kame's not too sure about the last one.
He sighs.
"Jin, no one would have cared if you're not someone. Unfortunately, you are someone, very important at that. Whatever you do, please don't get caught."
Jin furrows his brows, visibly rather dejected. "I was just socializing. Why is that wrong?"
"It's not, I'll not say it is. But tabloids target people like you and your nightly affairs and make it news. You could get someone from the entertainment industry involved and it will be a very undesirable prospect for the company."
"So because I'm going to inherit the company, I need to stay friendless?"
Kame has forseen such a response from him. "Think what you will. I've said what I needed to say."
From the corner of his eyes Kame sees Jin's eyes being habitually fixed towards his direction. This time, he didn't feel like looking back at him.
"Aren't you going to ask me anything else?"
Kame doesn't know why that is relevant. "No."
"I was hoping you would ask about how I got to know them, at least."
It makes Kame feel like the person with the coldest heart on earth.
___
Jin is about to fall asleep when he receives a call from Yamapi, his model friend who is also the sleeping partner of Opera, the latest "it" club.
"Hey, do you know someone named Kazuya?"
It takes Jin a while to relate "Kazuya" to Kame. "Yes, why?"
"He's drunk and arguing with the bartender. Apparently he ordered a glass of vodka martini instead of a B52 and I reckon it's best to contact someone close to him before he starts flipping the bar tables."
"How do you know to contact me?"
"He still has his work outfit on, and his namecard is still in his breast pocket. Doesn't take a nuclear scientist to tell me to call you when I see something that says Johnny's Food Co. Now will you please come and calm your subordinate before he starts shouting how we overcharged him?"
Jin rushes to Opera to find Yamapi waiting for him outside the club.
"He kissed Jennifer just now, you are quite late." Jennifer is Opera's resident pimp, also a transexual who likes to hit on young men.
Jin finds Kame slouched on the bar table, eyes uncharacteristically unfocused and vacant. His fingers are aimlessly playing with the glass, like he doesn't know whether he will be drinking the contents or not. Jin thinks he might have worn out his latent energy by making those ruckus he just missed out on.
"Kame." Jin calls to him, putting his hands over Kame's shoulder.
"Let's go home." It doesn't matter that Jin doesn't even know where Kame's house is, Jin's apartment could be his home for tonight.
Kame's eyes are tired and droopy - probably from the excessive alcohol, Jin thinks - but when he turns to look at Jin, it was as though Kame's entire face awakens with a fresh sense of alertness. Jin feels his cheeks burn; he understands Kame's intense approach to life's everything with perfection, but not when it's directed towards him.
Jin maintains the eye contact, but whispers in a softer voice. "Come on, Kame, let's go home."
Kame's lips form a small smirk, and his hand begins to stroke Jin's cheeks. "They say I don't know what I'm talking about." It hurts Jin slightly to hear a defeating-sounding Kame.
Jin slowly mirrors Kame's movements. "Well, they don't know you. Don't listen to them. You're tired and you need sleep. Come with me."
It takes a few clock-stopping moments before Jin could snap himself from the trance-like state of staring into Kame's blank eyes and slowly caressing his worn-out face. He immediately carries Kame to his car and speeds back to his own apartment.
___
Kame keeps hearing voices at the back of his head. Everytime he dreams, everytime he leaves himself in a state of near-unconsciousness, and everytime he lets his thoughts run loose.
Voices detailing his failures.
Voices dictating his duties.
Voices declaring damages done by his own hands.
Kame would never remember those words as clearly as he does tonight, but they will also never leave the deserted corner at the back of his head.
__
Kame never stops giggling on the way up to Jin's apartment, earning them a wary look from Jin's neighbour who lives a floor below (and he looks pretty relieved to be leaving the lift).
When Jin frantically searches his pocket for his keys, Kame turns around and takes the liberty to lean on the wall next to the door, telling Jin all about his adventures in the bar.
"Whoa, it's full moon tonight." Jin couldn't expand his vision beyond his own pocket, let alone to look at the moon.
"I think so."
"You see, I told the bartender that he doesn't know me at all, is he new? It's like he was so new..."
Jin finally opens the door and drags Kame inside to his bed.
Kame lies on his back, and Jin is about to leave to the bathroom to get some fresh towels when Kame pulls Jin along so Jin is right on top of him.
"Your heart, your heart ~ is beating fast, Jin ~"
As drunk as Kame is, Jin has to admit that he is spot-on with that. Kame's face is very close to his own. Very, very close.
"You look like you're anticipating something."
Jin's heart is racing faster by the second. He doesn't know if he could survive the rapidly quickening heartbeat rate. Kame's hand tugs Jin's collar, pulling Jin so near, he could probably even identify what Kame has been drinking the entire night.
"Kiss me."
Jin complies.
__
Kame wakes up and finds himself in a mess he never remember making and a headache.
He also wakes up to see Jin sleeping beside him and a digital clock that tells him that it's 7.30 am in the morning.
The throbbing pain in his head and his raging body heat stop him from checking his garments, though he can tell that he still has his pants on (and that means that he probably didn't do anything indecent to anyone last night) but it means that he had drank more than he ever did and he doesn't remember why.
Jin stirs, then opens his eyes slowly. "You woke up?" he asks sleepily.
"My head .." is all Kame could say. He is desperately massaging his head, hoping that it will miraculously make it stop aching.
Jin gets up from his bed and heads towards the bathroom. Kame vaguely hears the sound of water running for a short while, then Jin comes back with a hot towel in his hands.
"Here, wipe your face with it."
He goes back into the bathroom before Kame could say "thank you", and yells a small "GO BACK TO SLEEP" from inside the bathroom.
Kame pats his faces with the hot towel and scans around the room. The walls are plastered with a mixture of posters of various western artists, the tables filled with scattered scribbled papers, sometimes musical notes, and there's a guitar at the corner of the room, right beside a luxurious sofa (which seems to be the most expensive item in the room). The laptop is attached to the stereo sound system, and it shows Jin's email inbox (Kame immediately turns away from the screen).
He gets up and picks up things that belong to him, but Jin stops him.
"I applied for a medical leave for you today, stay here and rest."
Part of him wants to yell at Jin for making decisions for him, but the rest of him retires to oblige his staggering body and his spinning head.
___
As expected, Kame wouldn't rest for long.
By afternoon, he is storming back into his office (with the outfit worn since the day before), resuming his work that seems to be piling on his desk faster than he could get them off (Jin wonders if he ever gets any proper rest if hangover didn't make him feel like taking one, albeit a short one) and drilling Jin about everything that happened the night before.
"You didn't do anything." Jin tries to appear as nonchalant as possible.
"I mean before I was taken home." Kame is a very persistent interrogator.
"I didn't see it" - Jin feels that he needs to disclaim somehow - "but Yamapi said you kissed Jennifer."
To Jin's surprise, Kame doesn't look like he is shocked. "And?"
"You didn't flip any tables."
Kame raises one of his eyebrows.
"Ok, you argued with the bartender."
Eyebrows down.
Jin hesitates. "And nothing else."
By "nothing else" he means that Kame has the most delicious alcohol-tasting tongue, the most sensual fingers as they caress his necks, and the most tempting moans. Jin has kissed many people (he's pretty sure almost all of them are girls), but Kame kisses like he wants Jin to want him - there's a tinge of competition and demand that Jin usually sees in Kame's working mode and it turns him on. So hard.
He is quite sure that Kame doesn't have to know those, including the fact that he had to pull himself forcibly and took a cold shower (Kame is thankfully asleep by the time he returned from shower).
Or maybe not now.
"Hey." Kame calls up suddenly.
Jin suddenly finds himself unable to look Kame in the eyes.
"Oh, uhm" - Jin is trying hard to suppress his cheeks from heating up - "are you into music?"
"Yea, you saw those sheets? Most of them are just random things, half of them gets forgotten as soon as I write them down." Jin answers, without looking up.
"Can I-"
"Yes!" Jin feels so dumb answering Kame before he can hear what he's going to say, he immediately regrets saying it.
"I mean-"
"Oh yea?" He mouths a small apology for repeating the same dumb move, and now he's beginning to curse the day he was born.
"Listening to you sing will be great."
Oh snap, Jin totally doesn't see that coming.
__
Wanting to hear Jin sing turns out to be a partial lie - Kame finds himself sleeping whenever he gets invited into Jin's apartment.
It's actually not in his original plan to do so, Kame insists to himself and Jin. For some reason, Kame gets sleepy whenever he settles himself, whether it's Jin's expensive designer sofa or the side of the bed where his pillow sometimes fall to. Jin always tells him to not be sorry and asks him to be glad that he can actually relax somewhere; Kame negates him by saying that his apartment is just not meant for anything productive.
It actually does Kame good. When he sleeps at Jin's apartment, he stops having dreams. He feels refreshed everytime he wakes up, sometimes finding Jin sleeping on something else (sometimes the bed when Kame occupies the couch, sometimes the couch when Kame occupies the bed), sometimes finding him in front of his computer, but always with a homely, welcoming smile. It relaxes him, it always does.
It takes Kame a month to be able to finally hear Jin sing.
Kame is sleeping on Jin's bed, and wakes up to a soft strumming of guitar - Jin is holding his guitar with a piece of paper by his side, humming to the full moon in the night sky.
Kame walks to him, startling him.
"Did I wake you up?"
Kame shakes his head. "What's the song about?"
Jin looks down on his feet, like he's trying hard to compose his thoughts together. "I don't know. It feels weird but I just write what I feel at the moment, and I don't know how to describe it."
"May I?" Kame motions to the lyrics sheet. Jin hands it over to him, and he tries to make out something from the messy handwriting, multiple crosses and re-crosses, and sudden notes that are pointed in from somewhere else on the paper.
"Since the two feelings overlap, I silently watch you. When you look down your smile doesn't fade. Even for just a while, let me walk beside you," Kame reads.
Jin snorts. "It's kinda bad, isn't it?"
"I think it's beautiful," Kame says.
Jin eyes go wide with surprise.
"Really?"
"Well, I'll be touched if someone says that to me. It's simple, it's like, it's really-"
Kame sees the gleam in Jin's eyes, wondering if he has just said something wrong, but realizes a while later that they reflect the light from the moon.
Kame couldn't tear his eyes away from Jin's.
"It's you."
Jin's entire face shines from the rays illuminated from the moonlight and from - Kame is doubting his own logic - bliss.
For the first time, Kame feels like he knows what real beauty is.
__
Jin doesn't expect Kame to act any different at work, and Jin thinks that he can live with it.
When Kame's at work, he's strict, he's rule-abiding, he's straightforward.
When Kame's with Jin, he's pretty funny (in a way that makes Jin giggles from the way Kame thinks he's making a joke instead of the joke itself), he's free (laughing with his mouth wide open, like he's genuinely happy) and he's also straightforward.
Jin loves that when he tries to touch Kame's wrist, he will hold his hand. And he loves that when he leans close to Kame, he will drop his head to his chest. And how Kame lets him put his arms around him. How he lets Jin lie on his thigh.
How he lets Jin enter his world, and how he wants to be a part of Jin's world.
Jin tells him about his life in LA ("I could tell the fake boobs from real", as he says enthusiatically), about his life as a freelance songwriter ("They credited my other name, Aqua Neesha, but the songs barely bear any resemblance to what I have written", as he says in a fit of comedic disappointment) and his family and friends ("My mom loves those Korean stars and insist that I look a bit like that Bae Yoong Jun, do you think so?" as he asks confusingly) - Jin tells him everything.
Kame laughs every single time.
And he goes back to being an unbearable, insufferable, sometimes-untolerable mentor the moment they leave Jin's apartment and back to Johnny's Food Co.
Jin knows that he can live with the two versions of Kame, but he slowly begins to resent how little they spend together in Jin's apartment and how much they are forced to spend in Kame's disgustingly neat office.
He tries to brush the thoughts away as Kame says the nicest things about his (in his opinion) pointless lyrics and as they lean close to each other and butterflies flutter inside him.
There are times when Jin wants to kiss Kame so badly, he pulls himself back. He feels like if he goes any closer he might ruin everything.
During those times Kame will hold Jin even closer, like he can read Jin like one of those books that lies on his many shelves.
Jin could also read Kame like one of those books, only Jin feels like the book understands him more than he understands it.
___
Kame knows that he has no dream memory, and he can totally live with that.
But he remembers having them each and everytime without fail.
He wakes up sweating profusely, panting erratically, and heart pounding ten times faster than normal.
Jin shows up in front of him and calls him softly, then gives Kame an embrace that Kame swears could wrap his entire body in a blanket. When they part Jin puts his lips on Kame's and pecks him lightly.
"It's alright," Jin whispers. "I'm here."
Kame runs his thumb along Jin's cheeks to his lips, then he pulls Jin close and lock their lips together in what seems to be the longest kiss ever.
He feels like there's a sense of déjà vu, which Jin answers a short while later.
"It's not the first time we do this, you know?" Jin declares with a wide open-mouthed smile.
"Really?"
"You were drunk."
"Did you take advantage of me?" Kame couldn't help but laugh a little, feeling infinitely grateful that Jin is there at the moment, or maybe a little more than grateful that he has someone like him. At the moment gratitude is the only feeling consuming him, he feels like he wants Jin so much, he couldn't remember feeling the panic that drains his all his energy away just a few minutes ago.
"I couldn't, you fell asleep so fast." Jin could have been pouting, but Kame couldn't tell because he's busy trailing Jin's neck with his finger.
He undoes the first button of Jin's shirt. "Your loss."
The second button. "I'm so totally taking -"
The third button. "-advantage-"
The fourth. "-of you-"
The last. "-right now."
Kame places his palm on the spot where Jin's heart is - it is pounding like it's struggling not to jump out from his chest.
He slips his hand behind Jin's neck for a fast, needy kiss, then he pushes him down to make him lie on his back. Jin tucks Kame's hair behind his ears, and presses him closer to his hips.
"Do it.'
Kame lets his kisses trail Jin's body from the upper part of his crotch back to his lips, and while his body grinds slowly against Jin's. He loves the way Jin arches and relaxes his body in pleasure, he loves the way Jin's fingernails claim his back as Jin buries his face on the nook of his neck, he loves the way Jin excites his nipples, and most of all he loves the way he fits right inside him.
When it's over Kame feels that he vaguely hears Jin telling him to stay with him forever, and he is brought to a rather stopping epiphany.
He tries to force out the sickening thought about the way he might have started a new dream with Jin the moment he stops his previous nightmares.
He doesn't know if he has to be sorry to have dragged Jin into it.
He watches Jin sleep that night - he sometimes exposes his stomach and kicks random things to the floor, but Kame has never seen a sleeping form as peaceful.
It makes him feel even worse.
__
Living The American Dream
Will There Be A Coup d' Etat in Johnny's Food Co?
The heir of the Japan's biggest food export, Akanishi Jin of Johnny's Food Co has been storming the headlines of the business gossips recently for a potential change in the management lineup. The corporate giant announced earlier this year that Akanishi, who is, until recently, a shadow figure in the hierarchy of President Kitagawa's family. Kitagawa took Akanishi as his godchild as he visited a longtime acquaintance in Los Angeles when Akanishi was 14, as he revealed during the announcement. Akanishi, who agreed to the offer due to his deep gratitude for Kitagawa, is slated to be fit to take over the lead position in the company in 3 years, under the tutelage of the head of the Product Development department, Kamenashi Kazuya, a widely recognized force of creativity in the company.
This week has been busy with the onslaught of allegations of the long-going feud between Kamenashi Kazuya and the head of the Finance department, Yamamoto Keiji that also includes Akanishi in the mix. The connection was made via the apparent obliviousness of the upper management of Johhny's in regards to Akanishi's "extra-curricular" endeavors (sometimes including an array of models and up-and-coming singers, including Yamashita Tomohisa). Given the nature of Kamenashi's strict regime, some has been wildly speculating about the loose control given to Akanishi (a freelancer prior to the announcement) despite the tight timeframe to groom him into a business tycoon-to-be.
What looked like a flawless albeit idealistic business-related proposal might hide a thorn - especially when it is a thorn as huge as Akanishi's obvious unpreparedness. If it is true that Kamenashi has been letting Akanishi off, does he has any plans to supplement Akanishi's lacking repertoire that could fit the solid foundations of Johnny's Food Co? With consideration of his past actions when it comes to near scandals that almost caused Johnny's irreparable damages, Kamenashi has always been an individual of action instead mere talk.
Will this spawn another shocking action from Kamenashi? Will he take things into his own hands should the issue with Akanishi spiral out of his control? Should -
"Slam that magazine shut."
Inoue Risa and Fujiwara Kanako run to their respective places.
Getting laid off by Kamenashi Kazuya for simple reasons such as "reading thrashy magazines during work" seems like a very embarrassing thing to be written on resumes.
_
"Looks like you made some headlines again," Yamapi laughs.
Jin rolls his eyes. "I didn't come here to be mocked at, Pi."
"Can't say I'm not impressed at you being a part of a business plan," Yamapi retorts.
Jin twists his pint of beer. "It's more complicated than you think."
"I know."
Jin's eyes go wide with genuine surprise. "What, really?"
"I'm not blind, you know? You haven't really been around for a few months," Yamapi gulps Jin's beer to Jin's resistance - "Hey, drink yours!" - when his own pint ran out.
Jin sighs. It has been a week since newspapers and gossips took hold of a certain secret insider informant's (and no one has got any lead as to who that actually is) and published several versions of how Jin and Kame's perceived relationship is. Business columns say that Kame is actually conspiring to dispose of Yamamoto Keiji by getting hold of Jin and his imminent power, providing analogies that seem to love portraying Jin with strings attached and controlled by Kame. Women's magazines drew the conclusion (with pictures of them leaving the office building together) that they might be in love and are engaged in secret liaisons. The internet details about their schedules and writes about what they think happened during their "secret" dates; Jin even found a manga version of himself, disgustingly all over the manga version of another guy he presumed is supposed to be Kame.
Kame's 180 degree change in attitude alarms Jin. He stops going to Jin's place, he stops being patient to him, and most disappointingly, he also stops meeting Jin's eyes. Jin feels like he's being treated as someone even lesser than a worm, because Kame will smile and acknowledge even a beggar.
Maybe he doesn't know Kame at all, but Jin doesn't like that idea.
His thoughts are interrupted when Yamapi points him to a pretty girl across the bar. "Jin, that girl has been eyeing you for quite some time."
She's a knockout, Jin thinks. When Jin smiles at her, she turns to her friends and giggles.
"Go get her," Yamapi suggests. "Maybe it can get your mind off some people."
Jin thinks that it's not too bad as a way to spend the rest of the night (because it looks like Yamapi's girlfriend is heading towards the club), and he could really use some distraction at the moment.
"By the way, if you see the Kazuya, please tell him Jennifer's really crazy about him," Yamapi says with a know-it-all smirk and adds, "looks like you have a competition."
Jin feels the urge to punch Yamapi right in the face, but he has already gone to get his girlfriend and Jin is left with no choice but to check out the girl.
Her name is Reira and she's a part-time model, as Jin finds out when she dances with Jin in a small corner.
She kisses well too, as Jin discovers when he grabs her close and smells her perfume, feeling her bare skin and pushing her gently against the dark glass wall. Jin rarely kisses a girl he barely knows, but there is a monster inside him that aches to release the lump of repressed bitterness by Kame's abrupt coldness.
The monster is purring. He's telling him that he should push Kame out of his mind and enjoy the attention from Reira. Thanks to Kame, he has been paying so little attention to other people and now he deserves every adoration from anybody. He lifts her legs and positions them on his waist, slipping his hands inside to fiddle with her black fishnet leggings, tracing her very slightly on her sensitive spot. She purrs back, answering to that monster within himself and it's licking its lips very contently.
The monster is roaring. He's growling at him, impatiently urging him, sending a streaming rush of heated electrifying desire flowing fiercely in him. He feels his entire body stimulated by her whimpers and her seductive moans. His lips grazes her breast slightly as he brings her closer to him, and when he looks over her shoulder, he sees his own reflection from the dark glossy walls and he also sees Kame.
He sees Kame's delicate backs and the side of his cheeks up close as he perches his chin on Kame's shoulder, positioning his own head besides his ears; fingers intertwining, half gripping and half twiddling. He sees Kame's semi-victorious smirks and his piercing eyes, sometimes filling him with affection and sometimes scorching things under his skin, making him melt. He feels Kame's lips adoring his body and Kame's sweating body over his back and he drops Reira.
Jin's phone vibrates, as if on cue, and it doesn't come across his mind to check the caller ID.
"Who's that?" Reira asks, disgruntled by the sudden halt.
"Jin, where are you?"
It's Kame.
_
Kame doesn't get to hear Jin answering back.
He hangs up on him because he knows clearly that he is having the time of his life, with his friends and the music and the alcohol. Kame has called him out of acting on sheer instinct, and he immediately regrets it.
He slums down on his seat, eyes looking up at the moonless sky transparent from his glass windows. His thoughts are now revolving around the confidential conference that just ended - held to "assess" the situation with Jin's progress in his apprenticeship, and there are plans to move his education from Kame's hand to Harvard's, effective almost immediately.
Jin calls back almost immediately.
"Hey."
Kame doesn't answer.
"Kame?"
He wants to hang up pretty badly.
"Are you still in the office? I'll be there-"
"No."
The silence that ensues is rather awkward. It feels like having a phone conversation with a stranger.
"Kame, I..I.."
"It's ok."
"Wait, please-"
"I'm sorry to have disturbed you. I'll speak to you tomorrow morning."
They are not heading towards a break-up, Kame insists to himself.
They have never started anything to begin with.
Or have they?
Kame's not sure.
Up in the sky, two of the most distant stars are blinking.
Maybe, just maybe, if the stars can shine even from an unquestionably unreachable distance, he too, could save some of irretrievable memories and keep them in the tiny nucleus of his mind, so that they can shine during the darkest periods in the days to come.
That's where he plans to make Jin stay in his mind for the rest of his life.
__
Jin calls Kame's secretary to get his home address, but he has to wait 2 hours and 5 bottles of beer later before Kame finally comes out from the lift to his apartment.
"What are you doing here?"
Jin wants to say "I wanted to see you", but the words trap themselves in his vocal chord.
Instead, he asks Kame something that has been bugging him for quite some time.
"You actually love me, right?"
Kame doesn't answer.
Jin swears to himself that he's still sober. He's still sober and he can walk and make love to Kame and do everything he has ever thought of doing to him.
"Hey Kame, you love me, right?"
He grabs both sides of Kame's hand and make him drop his briefcase and the supper he bought from the kombini shop, wrap them around him and nuzzle him on the neck.
Kame pushes him away.
"Jin, go home."
He's not about to let Kame push him that easily. He pulls him back in a tight embrace.
"No."
Jin finds his place on the spot on Kame's shoulder and rests his weight on it.
Kame wraps his arms around Jin, and Jin feels his whole body weakening. He hesitantly nibbles his ears and whispers "come in".
He loosens his grip on him and watches him as he swipes his door security card into the sensor and follows him inside.
Kame's house is flawlessly clean, gleamingly dustless and immaculately designed.
Jin doesn't see all that. He doesn't want to see how Kame's house looks like despite wondering about it for ages and wanting to see it since forever. He wants to kiss him senseless, kiss him until he finally tells Jin that he loves him and they will be together forever.
He doesn't realize that he has been speaking exactly what is in his mind since the door closes.
"Are you out of your mind?" Kame pushes Jin's overly affectionate hands down.
He drags Jin to his bathroom and turns on the shower, then throws Jin into the bathroom, drenching him with the water.
He disappears for a short while, then returns changed in a shirt and boxer shorts that Jin assumes are his usual "home" clothes with a towel and some clothes.
"Feeling better?"
Kame's eyes are tender - it's the type that Jin sees him with when he's looking at him strumming his guitar and singing. It's when he looks at Jin's fingers and whine about how short his fingers are in comparison. It's when he's stroking the lines of his face and murmurs in low voices about nothing in particular.
"I don't know how to turn this off."
His lips curve to form a small smile and he walks in to turn the switch off, promptly stopping the shower on top of Jin's head and throws a towel to him.
"I'll wait for you outside."
_
Jin comes out looking like Kame's clothes fit him two sizes too small and Kame couldn't help stifling a giggle.
"Stop laughing."
"I'm sorry, I'll get you something larger."
When Kame comes with a new pair of shorts, he sees Jin studying his baseball paraphernalia collection.
"Change into this."
"Are you into baseball?" Jin's eyes liven up with curiosity.
"Quitted it when I was 16." Kame takes the baseball signed by Matsui Hideki and throws it aimlessly in the air.
"Why?"
"Arm injury." Kame places the ball back to its place.
Jin's face wears a startled expression, Kame's not comfortable with that.
"Get your clothes and go home."
Jin sighs heavily, arms flailing slightly on the sides.
"Fine."
He paces back and forth a few steps and brushes his palms on the shorts.
"I don't understand you."
'I really don't understand you."
Kame would like to remind Jin that it's already 2 in the morning, but Jin raises his voice higher.
"You never tell me anything, not your past, not your present, not even what you think of me."
"Jin, be quiet -"
"You used to come to me, and now you push me away."
"The neighbors are-"
"If you want to know I was with a girl when you called-"
"SHHHH-"
"I was this close to fucking her and I remembered you-"
"JIN, SHUT UP."
They glare at each other across the room, wishing that they didn't speak at all.
The silence that falls feels like it could freeze them both for thousands of years. Kame wonders when has the two of them changed to be something this numbing.
"You were saying?" Kame murmurs under his breath.
"Nothing."
"It was something about remembering me."
"Nothing."
"Alright." Kame retreats a few steps, preparing to turn and head on to his bedroom. "You can sleep on the couch."
"Kame."
He stops. He's not sure if he wants to deal with anything that comes after this.
"Are we over?"
"I don't know." He wants to brick himself for not being able to say "yes".
"Do you want us to be over?"
Kame answers after thinking for what seems like forever. "I don't know what I want."
Jin comes forward to him, giving him the baseball that he just placed back on the display shelf.
"What about baseball?"
"I gave that up a long time ago."
"Do you still like it?"
"Yes." Kame pauses. "Very much."
"What about me?"
Kame draws Jin's face close to his, halting himself right before their lips touch.
"What about me?" Jin repeats, nudging Kame's sideburn with the tip of his nose.
Kame says nothing. He kisses Jin hard and harder until he can feel Jin's body dissolve and his own conscience evanescing into the thin air.
__
Later, right before the sunrise, Jin tells Kame all about his dreams - how he wants to compile an album of his compositions. How he wants to make everyone enjoy his music. How he wants to be free. How he feels that Harvard will fit him like Mozart fits his songs.
Kame tells him something that Jin regards as the best advise Kame ever gave as a mentor ever - "be yourself."
Somehow they both know that it's going to be one of their rarest moment to laugh together, but it's ok. Because one day when Jin is no longer the heir of Kame's employer, Jin will come back to drag Kame to live a fragment of his childhood dream. Jin demands to see pictures of Kame as a baseball player, and when Kame refuses to show him, he says ok. Because he will come back and make Kame pose as a baseball player. He will make Kame play baseball.
And a little while later, right after the sunset, Jin leaves Japan for Los Angeles, promising the President that he will reconsider the offer in a few years and promising Kame that he will live his own dream.
Kame knows that it will be some time before he can meet Jin again, but it's ok.
He will look at the moon in the sky and remember those nights when Jin sings to him, and smiles like he shines brighter than the moon.
__