Prompt 1: Tell me the news, baby - Team Present

Aug 02, 2010 02:13

Title: I’m sure it will change, it will change
Rating: PG
Pairing: Mostly gen with a small amount of Shoon/Shige
Summary: A variety of announcements made to and around Shoon change his life, for better and for worse.
Prompt: Tell me the news, baby
Warnings: A tiny bit of angst, one kissing scene, two instances of mildly crude humor.
Notes: The narrative style is primarily third person, limited omniscient, focused on Shoon. First person is used only in the context of speech (between the characters of the story), except for in one brief instance when the reader “sees” directly into Shoon’s thoughts. The passage of time is made evident through the occurrence of certain events, so there are few references made to specific dates. The title comes from one of Ya-ya-yah’s original songs, “Up Down Ya-ya-yah.”


Shoon watches the second hand take turns like a pro as it winds its way around the clock, making racecar sounds in his mind. The producer of the newest show in the Johnny’s lineup, “Ya-ya-yah!”, has been droning on, uninterrupted, for the past hour. Shoon is not the only one who is fed up.

They’re seated pretty much the way they’d be standing if they were onstage. Yabu, front and center, isn’t even pretending to pay attention. Shoon can tell by the set of his shoulders that he’s going to start whining in a few minutes if the producer doesn’t shut up. Hikaru hasn’t stopped squirming since the meeting started. Every time the producer says his name, he giggles nervously, and the sound is beginning to seriously piss Shoon off.

Akama and Hoshino are probably the most bored out of all the boys there, because the first thing the producer did was outline how they’re slowly going to be phased out of the show. They have no reason to try to listen to what’s being said and are instead whispering about a new game that’s just come out. Taiyo is tapping his toes, first one foot, then the other, in what Shoon thinks could be an S.O.S message, except that Taiyo doesn’t know Morse code, and playing some weird game with his fingers that he probably just made up.

Kusano is texting without any finesse, all thumbs and one-sided snorts of laughter. Koyama keeps elbowing him to try and get him to stop, meanwhile constantly bobbing his head and smiling although he’s obviously not tuned in to what the producer is saying. Other juniors groan and sigh, tired of being talked at in a stuffy room.

The only one at all attentive is the third “K”, Kato, who seems genuinely interested in the producer’s words. Shoon keeps his eyes on the older boy that he’d exchanged stiff bows with at the start of the session, wondering about him for a bit before Yabu steals his attention.

“Can I go home now?” The tremble in Yabu’s voice says to Shoon that he is on the verge of fake crying. Shoon hopes it won’t come to that. Yabu’s fake tears have a tendency to turn into real tears that bring Akanishi and other KAT-TUN letters running. That had happened yesterday, when Taiyo wouldn’t give Yabu the last pudding cup from the cafeteria. Shoon was the ultimately one that intervened, standing between a terrified Taiyo and the angry ANT that were determined to fulfill Yabu’s whim, telling them to back the hell off because the pudding was Taiyo’s fair and square, and that they were going to make Yabu into even more of a snotty little brat if they kept spoiling him.

Sometimes, Shoon just feels like a placeholder, or maybe a barrier. A body to block off blank spaces on a CD jacket, something to keep the background from looming too large behind the ones that get all the attention, a frustrated fence forced into a role that he doesn’t want to have.

It doesn’t make a difference whether they’re YA-YA or Ya-ya-yah. “From a double-A side to your own show. Some guys get all the luck.” Yoshida says to Shoon as he ambles away with Ando, the two of them distant even though they’d been posed practically arm-in-arm not so long ago. “It’s not like that!” Shoon protests. “You know as well as I do that it’s all about Yabu and Akama.” Or Yabu and Hikaru, as it turned out. The fact remained that Shoon’s was one of the names in the newspapers that reserved a spot for Johnny’s junior’s junk. There it was, squeezed in small beside stuff that actually mattered, in the scrapbook labeled “Shoon” that his mom had been keeping even since he had begun to be.

“It must have been a slow news day.” Reon jokes, tracing Shoon’s name with his forefinger while Mom babies and berates him in the same breath. “My big boy on the television, but you better not be slacking off in school because that’s not where your future is, nosiree, my boy is going to be a professional.” She speaks extra loudly so that the neighbors are sure to hear, not one to miss any opportunity to share the scoop about her boy.

Pop makes a vaguely corroborative noise as she fusses over his hair one final time and wonders aloud if maybe Shoon ought to go on a diet because fatties can’t be famous except for in specific roles. “Better get going or you’re going to be late.” Reon says as he opens the door. Mom marches Shoon out of their home and deposits him in the designated room to be bored. They’re all proud of him in their own way.

Shoon pokes his stomach thoughtfully. It’s soft, puppyish, not fat. He makes a deal with himself that if Yabu cries in the next ten seconds, he’ll do ten sit-ups when he gets home.

The tears come pouring out like Shoon knew they would. Koyama hastens to comfort Yabu while the producer and other staff members stare as if it’s the first time they’ve ever seen an indulged-in ferret sob to get what he wants. Slipping out of the room, unnoticed, Shoon buys a can of soda for Yabu, and then one each for Hikaru and Taiyo as an afterthought. It pacifies Yabu and gives Hikaru and Taiyo something to occupy themselves with as the producer wraps up.

When the talking finally stops, Yabu skips out of the room singing “soc-cer bad-ges, soc-cer bad-ges, they will all be mine!” to himself, leaving the empty can for Shoon to pick up and dispose of. A crowd of juniors, Taiyo among them, head out the door right behind Yabu, all of them talking loudly about a nearby arcade that’s rumored to be the best in the city.

“Shoon, do you mind?” Koyama gestures to Hikaru, who is struggling to follow the producer’s request that he help the three oldest boys stack up chairs. “It’s getting late, you should go home.” Shoon tells Hikaru. “Besides, it’s easier for me to do it.” The chairs are much too large for Hikaru to efficiently manage, but Shoon can handle them just fine. He and Koyama end up doing all of the work while Kusano regales them with the story of a scandal that just broke.

Shoon doesn’t get why a top idol, someone that has everything someone in the show business could ask for, would take the risk of wrecking it all over a girl. All it takes is one little “did you hear?” to ruin an idol’s career, making the man just as well off as the many that he left behind when he got lucky. In other words, not well off at all, yesterday’s news, unfamous, which is worse than being infamous.

Instead of assisting with the menial labor, Kato has been animatedly conversing with one of the cameramen. “Do you like photography?” The query surprises Kato, and Shoon’s a little shocked by his own boldness as well. He doesn't usually make an effort to talk to people that he doesn’t know. However, he’s curious about the sparkle that he saw in Kato’s eyes when everyone else was nearly dying of boredom during the producer’s speech and the small smile that lingered on his lips throughout his conversation with the cameraman. “Yes, I like photography.” The answer is given brusquely; Shoon knows a dismissal when he hears one. So he says nothing else to anyone and leaves.

Pleading “not hungry” to avoid the bombardment of questions that he knows his mother is waiting to launch at him, Shoon locks the door to the room that he shares with Reon and does the sit-ups like he said he would. All the stress that he’d accumulated while sitting in the stuffy room evaporates with the sweat that he swipes off his face in humiliation. He shouldn’t be breathing hard after ten measly sit-ups.

I’ll be the strongest one, Shoon decides. No one will notice me, but it’s better than just being a blocker until they decide to replace me. It doesn’t take long at all for him to realize his goal, mostly because there’s not really any competition, and because Shoon’s always been able to do whatever he sets his mind to.

“So, how did you feel when you first heard about the Ya-ya-yah show?” The interviewer wants to know. By now, it’s not really an original question. They give the typical pat answers and pose themselves according to the staff’s orders. No one, least of all the audience, notices when their numbers go from seven, to five, to six, to four.

The truth was that Shoon hadn’t felt anything at all. “Basically, I’m a glorified back dancer in a unit that keeps being re-shuffled. I play stupid games and if I lose I get tortured in front of a live audience. It’s not something to be excited about.” When they stand him up in front of all the flashing lights, he smiles and flips peace signs, thinking that he’d rather give them all the finger, and acts like a good big-brotherly junior, ruffling hair and whispering encouraging words intermittently. In his real life whenever anyone says that they’ve seen him on TV, he’s honest. They that only see the glorified sides of show business think that he’s kidding.

Press releases never reference the ones who get left behind, but Shoon can read the disappointment between the lines. He knows it’s only a matter of time before he becomes one of the unlucky ones too. Shoon can see what the audience doesn’t.

Until that time comes at least he gets to be on the adult team. They usually win, even though it’s obvious that the fans favor the younger, cuter participants. Truthfully, Shoon never tries too hard, because he hates the idea of subjecting his group to punishments even though he doesn’t like them all that much.

Tegoshi is the first to notice the change in Shoon’s shape. “Have you been doing muscle training for long?” Somehow he manages to come off sounding superior even though Shoon’s pretty sure that Tegoshi’s never done so much as a push-up in his whole life. Midorinu-sensei is next, saying: “Shoon-kun is strong” so often that it permeates the minds of their viewers and “Shoon” practically becomes synonymous with “strength.”

Yabu and Hikaru are cute and talented, Taiyo is a lovable goofball, and Shoon is strong, the one that looks after them all. The novelty of the now-static Ya-ya-yah, no longer the youngest Johnny’s group, has worn off, but they’ve all found their niches so it’s fine.

It isn’t until Yabu says: “I hate this” that the other boys in Ya-ya-yah become brothers, not burdensome sharers of temporarily tiresome prosperity, to Shoon. They’re changing into new costumes for the livestage recording when Yabu speaks up with such vehemence that it stops Shoon in his tracks, with his pants only halfway up his legs. It isn’t unusual for Yabu to voice his often-exaggerated feelings of dislike, however he’s never taken this tone before. “I hate that they make me and Hikaru wear different costumes. We’re a group, why do they split us up like that?”

“For the same reason that you and Hikaru sing lead vocals while Taiyo and I just back you up.” Shoon says gently, because that’s the best way to handle Yabu when he’s whiny. “Don’t let it bother you. We don’t. Right, Taiyo?” Eager to help diffuse the tension, Taiyo agrees loudly. “We’re all the same in our hearts, that’s what matters! Ya-ya-yah!”

“I love you, Ya-ya-yah.” Hikaru says in English with his deliberately terrible accent, making them laugh as they hurriedly finish dressing and head out to where everyone is waiting for them, Ya-ya-yah, to start performing.

That day, Kato snaps a picture of him. “What?” Shoon asks, dazed by the suddenness of Kato’s action. “This a moment that I want to capture.” Kato replies calmly, as if it’s perfectly normal to take photos of a person that’s practically a stranger without even asking for permission. “You’re wearing a different sort of smile.”

“Smiles aren’t something that you wear, are they? They’re something that you do.” Shoon steps forward to try and see the picture, but Kato turns to leave before he can peek. “I wonder.” Kato says in parting, and the benign words itch like an insult Shoon can’t quite understand.

Real life and the life he lives in the television studio: at some point, the boundary begins to blur between the two. It’s so subtle that Shoon never notices until suddenly it’s the norm for him to work up a sweat whipping his body into shape with Taiyo and Hikaru cheering him on, for him and Reon to practice the latest Ya-ya-yah songs and steps side-by-side, for Yabu to know all sorts of embarrassing stories about Shoon, for his parents to call his bandmates by cutesy nicknames.

“When did this happen?” Shoon wants to ask, except he knows he’ll sound stupid so he doesn’t. Instead, he just enjoys the camaraderie that was built like the best kind of love, slow and sweet. Yeah, he loves Ya-ya-yah. He wishes that the reporters were still asking how he felt.

After a failure of a casual relationship with a fellow junior, Shoon keeps his sexuality to himself. His closest friends are Yabu, Taiyo, and Hikaru. The rest of the people that he pals around with on set and at school are peripheral extras, poor second bests to the three most important people in his life. Shoon likes them all well enough though. The ominous prickle that he feels whenever he sees the three from K.K.Kity that were promoted into NewS quickly becomes a daily part of his routine. Shoon never forgets that he’s not one of the noticed ones; they just make the memory more sharp with their cast off letters that speak to past and future inevitabilities.

Kato, the only exception to Shoon’s “no one outside of my family and Ya-ya-yah really matters to me” rule, remains an enigma to Shoon. His interest in Kato that was piqued on the first day intensifies over the years; more often than not he satisfies his curiosity through quiet observation, or by tuning in to the occasional rumors about him that trickle down to Ya-ya-yah among the many reports about their sempai. Doing something about his attraction isn’t an option. Shoon would never put someone that he truly cared about at risk, as Kato would be if they became something more than two boys who barely knew each other.

“Come look at the collage that Shige made.” Koyama invites. One by one they file in, some forced by foster-filial obedience to the older boy that has helped them out whenever they needed it, others curious because Kato never shows any of them his photos. “Oh,” Shoon says when he sees the picture of a smile that he recognizes as his own (despite the fact that it has been separated from his face and glued onto a kitten), the first one done-not-worn in his television life, and remembers.

Later that evening, when Shoon’s imagination is more in charge than the rational part of his mind, he starts supposing about the significance of Kato’s recognizing his smile for what it was, wondering about why Kato had even chosen to photograph him in the first place, and telling himself that he would protect Kato, if Kato would let him. “Can I call you ‘Shige’?” He whispers awkwardly the next day when they’re standing in line for water. “’Whatever you want.” Kato says in a tone of voice that tells Shoon he doesn’t care at all. Ashamed, Shoon slinks away without his drink, telling himself to not be stupid.

After the taping is finished, Ya-ya-yah troops out of the studio, ignoring the squeals for an encore, autographs, and more, like they’ve been told to. A steady stream of juniors pours out after them. Over the tops of the heads of shorter, younger boys, Shoon sees Shige engaged in what is evidently a serious conversation with Koyama. The herd parts for them, and for Kusano too when he finally stops leering at skirts from behind a convenient partition and makes his way to the dressing room reserved for the three Ks.

Flopping into the first available seat, Yabu sprawls the way Jin-sempai taught him to, careless of the way he’s wrinkling his costume. Hikaru tries to mimic him, realizes that he can’t pull it off, and settles for simply reclining with his feet up. Taiyo gives Shoon a pleading look, so of course Shoon lets him have the whole couch to himself. Even though the exchange with Kato has put him in a bad mood, that’s no reason to be mean to Taiyo. After draining a bottle of water, Shoon starts to change into his own clothes, unbothered by the feeling of three sets of eyes on him. They’ve grown up together, and there’s no part of Shoon that the other boys of Ya-ya-yah don’t know as well as he does himself.

As Shoon puts on clean underwear, Yabu speaks up. “Do the fans only like me for my voice?” Lately it’s been changing, and the reaction of the fans hasn’t been positive. Hikaru hesitates. Though at times he acts silly, he’s not naive. Taiyo says nothing, occupied with massaging the long legs that ache dully whenever he performs a particularly demanding dance. Shoon steps up like he always does.

“Yabu-chan, think about it like this: to the fans, we’re all packages. The whole of us that’s appealing to the audience is made up of our singing, looks, moves, and so on. For each person, a different one of those parts is most prominent, and for you, that part has been your high-pitch for a really long time. It’s been your selling point. Now you have to make the viewers see, or hear, other parts of you. Find new parts of yourself to showcase.”

Taiyo chirps; “everybody loves your package, Yabu-chan, so don’t worry!” Without knowing why, he laughs with Yabu and Hikaru, only asking “what?” after they’ve wiped mirthful tears from their eyes and quieted down. Smiling, Shoon only half-listens as Hikaru explains to Taiyo what “package” is another word for.

It feels like yesterday and forever ago simultaneously; sometimes when Shoon looks at them, himself included, he expects to see the little kids that they used to be, and is surprised to find that they aren’t them anymore. It amazes Shoon that he’s been able to come this far with them, that his luck hasn’t run out yet. He knows that it won’t always be like this. However. It doesn’t worry him much, because he also knows that no matter what happens, the members of Ya-ya-yah have an unbreakable bond with each other, and that matters more than any debut ever will.

“I’m going to get going.” Shoon’s words are acknowledged with cheerful waves, though there’s no pause in the lesson about packages. In comparison to the frenetic atmosphere of the show recording, the hallways, though certainly not devoid of people or noise, feel peaceful. It’s a lot like school, after hours, when all the clubs and cleaning are finished and nearly everyone has gone home. Shoon spends a lot of extra time at school, whenever his schedule permits it. Though his mother loves that her son is something of a minor household name, she is adamant that he do more with his life. So he does.

Someone falls into step with him just as he exits the building. Expecting one of the other boys from Ya-ya-yah, Shoon turns to ask whoever it is what he wants. The question on his lips gets gulped down audibly when he sees that it’s Kato.

“Sorry for being short with you before, Shoon.” The nervous tone of Kato’s voice worries Shoon. “I’ve had something on my mind lately that pertains to you, and it’s affecting my conduct a little.” Kato stops before a bench and Shoon freezes a step later when Kato asks: “can we talk?”

They sit a respectful distance apart from each other, and Kato wastes no time. “There are rumors.” Embarrassed, Shoon stares straight ahead. “Yes, well, some people aren’t as discrete as they should be. I don’t… I mean, I never do anything with anybody ever anymore, since that one time. It’s just easier. I think you’re really cool, I won’t lie, but you don’t have to worry. I’ll even refrain from speaking to you, if that’s what you’d prefer.”

A pause. And then: “NewS is going on hiatus. Kusano and Uchi have been demoted to trainees because of their respective accusations of underage drinking. Yamapi-kun is going to do a temporary collaboration with the equivalent of two Johnny’s from Thailand to support a women’s volleyball competition. None of this has been announced to the public yet, though it will be soon. They’re going to tag a unit of juniors onto the trio of Yamapi-kun and the Thai Johnny’s. One of your group is going to be included in that unit.” The “it’s not you, obviously” goes unsaid because it is unnecessary.

“This is probably difficult to hear. I wanted Kei-chan to be the one to tell, he’s better at these sort of things.” Before Shoon quite realizes what he’s doing, he’s resting a reassuring hand on Shige’s shoulder, exactly like he would if one of the boys in Ya-ya-yah was being self-deprecating. “Don’t worry, Kato-kun, the way you did it was completely fine. I’m grateful that you let me know before the rumors made it to the rest of my group, as it’ll be easier for all of us if I’m the one to tell them. I’m sorry about NewS, and that Uchi-kun and Kusano-kun are in trouble.”

Kato nodded. “Thanks. At any rate, Shoon, just so you know, there are other rumors too. But I think it would be best to deal with this set first, and worry about the future once it has come a bit closer.” The bland words, carefully chosen, Shoon knows, to cause him the least possible alarm, make him bite his lower lip. Maybe Kato sees it too, that he’s slated to be one of the left-behind unlucky ones. Shoon certainly wouldn’t put it past him, because Kato is notably intelligent and well informed.

Belatedly, Shoon notices that he is still talking. “”--clue what you meant before, although I’m kind of glad that you think I’m cool. I have no problem whatsoever if you speak to me. Now, if you wouldn’t mind removing your hand, I have to leave. I trust you to do what has to be done with the information, in regards to your unit.”

Snatching his hand back, Shoon leapt up. “I will!” As he walked away, Kato called over his shoulder: “I meant it when I said you could call me whatever you like. Because there are so many boys with the surnames ‘Kato’ or ‘Yamashita’, you’ve always been ‘Shoon’ to me. It makes sense for you to call me ‘Shigeaki’ or ‘Shige’, if you want to.”

Something about the way he said “to me” made Shoon’s stomach lurch like he was about to be violently ill. “Okay.” He croaked, thankful that Kato was probably too far away to hear him. Shige. Shigeaki. Wow did he have it bad.

They took the news about like he expected them to. No crying, just anger and anxiousness and hugs that were as much about the holding on tight as they were about the comfort. “They better not try to take you away for too long, Hikka. I’m selfish about us.” Yabu said, and Taiyo echoed him with: “I’m going to count the days until you’re only Ya-ya-yah’s again.”

Eventually, they all adjust to the changes. It helps that Kusano’s absence is made as inconspicuous as possible, that Uchi never had much to do with them to begin with, and that the “kitty” members of the GYM don’t get much attention at all. “Is it always like this for you and Taiyo?” Hikaru asks Shoon, making a face like he’s tasting something bad. “What’s the point of being onstage if no one’s even looking at you?”

Taiyo overhears and groans. “Ouch, Hikaru, don’t be so harsh! People notice us sometimes. You and Yabu-chan aren’t big stars like Yamapi-sempai or exotic like Golf’n’Mike.” Yabu interjects, feeling insulted, and Shoon lets them bicker for a little while before interrupting with his response. “I do it all for you guys.”

The stage has never felt like home to Shoon. He let himself be pushed into showbiz to please his mother, and he stays in the spotlight so that he can spend the as much time with the other boys in Ya-ya-yah as possible. Being famous doesn’t matter at all to Shoon. It can be nice, it can be annoying, mostly, for him, it’s nothing at all because he’s not that well-known. He regards his coursework in basically the same way, something that is neither bad nor good that he does to please his parents.

Shoon’s favorite things in the world are muscle training, his family, Yabu, Hikaru and Taiyo. He’d have them whether or not he was famous and whether or not he became the lawyer-doctor-CEO-whatever that his Mom and Pop want him to be. And Shige too. Though he doesn't actually have him.

Rumors fly around that kitty GYM is going to be permanent, that NewS is never coming back, that there’s a new junior unit on the horizon, all sorts of ridiculous things that Shoon won’t believe unless Shige (or another reputable source) confirms it. Not that Shige ever speaks to him again. Although he wants more, Shoon forces himself to accept that Shige only came to him out of obligation, and that he wants nothing to do with Shoon.

One day, the cast of the Ya-ya-yah Show is asked the par-for-the-course random question of what one person they would rescue from a deserted island. Shoon writes: “you” on his flipboard. The audience laps it up, even though he definitely didn’t mean them. He couldn’t decide whom to choose, so he kept it simple and prayed that he wouldn’t ever have to. At the end of the show he changes his mind and announces that: “I would save everybody, because that's what these muscles are for. Limitations can’t stop me.” That answer is equally well received and much more satisfying for Shoon.

“You’ll always keep us safe, won’t you, Shoon?” Taiyo asks him, and Shoon nods “yes” forcefully. “Remember to look out for yourself too.” Shoon stares at Taiyo, confused. The notion hadn’t occurred to him.

Both before and after he truly began caring for Yabu, Hikaru, and Taiyo, he always thought of them, rather than himself, the same way he does with his family. No matter how angry, sad, or fed-up Shoon is feeling, he puts those that he’s supposed to look out for first. “You’re someone we can rely on,” his loved ones tell him, implicitly and explicitly, and it’s the part of himself that he’s most proud of.

Forget fame, he just wants to be a man that they trust. It’s neither an inferiority nor a superiority complex, driven by a need to be needed or a belief that he’s the best. Even when he hated them, hated what he had to do, he was still someone that they could depend upon because it’s simply who he is. Shoon remembers with indelible clarity the exact moment that he decided to be the strongest for Ya-ya-yah as well as his blood family. He’ll never let himself let them down.

“You’re kind of intimidating, you know?” Shige says conversationally. Shoon leaps up, smashes his head on one of the handlebars there to steady standing passengers, and sinks back into his mildly uncomfortable seat. His crush isn’t the kind that makes him hyper-aware of the object of his un-confessed affections, so Shige’s presence caught Shoon completely by surprise.

“Well, not right now when you’re flustered and in pain. But the way you are ordinarily can be a little overwhelming.” Rubbing the sore spot, Shoon frowns. “I’m not sure what you mean.” Before he can ask Shige too explain, Shoon realizes that the train is approaching his stop. “I have to get off here. My number is-” he says it fast so that if Shige never calls him, Shoon can tell himself that it’s because he didn’t get the number, not because he’s uninterested. “Maybe you can call me and clear things up?” Quickly disembarking before Shige has time to respond (to refuse), Shoon runs all the way home and throws himself into his usual workout with gusto, hyped up on exhilaration, anticipation, and fear of rejection.

“You’re going to break your phone if you keep playing with it like that.” Reon warns his big brother when he sees Shoon compulsively fiddling with his cell. “I did exactly the same thing when I was waiting for the cutie from the bakeshop around the corner to call. Hey…” Shoon stops Reon from pursuing that potentially dangerous line of thought by tackling him. They wrestle until Shoon notices that his phone is vibrating itself off of his bedside stand. “AHHHH!”

Shige has left him a message. “Who is it? What is it? Why’d you scream? Shoo-ooon!” Obviously, he’ll have to listen to it later, when he’s not in the presence of a nosey little brother. “I think I hear Mom calling us for dinner.” Shoon tells Reon, making the younger boy forget all about the message on Shoon’s cell immediately. “Great, I’m starving!” Following Reon as he charges out of the room, Shoon stores his phone in his pocket where it’ll be safe in the unlikely event that Reon recalls his curiosity.

“You’re intense, Shoon. Looking at you, it’s easy to see that you’re the sort of man who doesn’t worry about anything because you know that whatever happens, you can handle it. You’re strong, and it’s obvious. Intimidating too, sometimes, as I said before. It seems like the only people who are close to you are the others in Ya-ya-yah, and that you just tolerate the rest of us for their sake. I feel like it’s impossible to get closer to you, even though I really want to. This was Shige speaking. Have a good night.”

When Shoon wakes up, his phone is glued to his face with dried drool and Reon has a new impression to show off to his friends: “This was Shige speaking. Have a good night.” It’s actually a fairly good imitation. Shoon threatens to kill him anyways.

The first thing that Taiyo says when he sees Shoon is: “what are those weird imprints on your face?” Yabu laughs so hard that he accidentally shoves his hand through a part of his costume that is definitely not the armhole. “Classic! Hey, Shoon, can you grab me one of the spare shirts when make-up is done screaming at you?” Hikaru pats him on the back. “Don’t worry, they fade pretty fast. And it’s only SORT OF totally noticeable.”

Shoon deals with the staff, who are surprisingly understanding, gets Yabu a replacement top, and forces Shige to the back of his mind because he prefers to concentrate on one thing at a time. Practice for this month’s Shounen Club proceeds like it always does, until Shoon notices an unfamiliar grouping of five (well, four, plus one who has an extremely high-pitched voice, which has always appealed to the audience) popular juniors. “New unit?” He asks Yabu, just to make conversation. “Hey!Say!7. Their single is at the top of the charts right now.”

Yabu sounds grim, so Shoon immediately pulls him into a hug. “You’ll get another CD release soon, Yabu-chan.” This has the opposite of the intended effect; Yabu scowls and pulls away from him, shouting: “that’s not what I want!” before stomping off. It’s so reminiscent of the early years that Shoon has to smile, until he notices that Hikaru is shaking. “Are you sick, Hikaru?” Worried, Shoon rests a hand on Hikaru’s forehead.

“Couldn’t you have said ‘we’?” The misery in Hikaru’s voice hurts Shoon, but he can’t bring himself to lie. “I don’t say things I don’t mean to you guys.” Hikaru hides his face in the crook of Shoon’s neck. “I’m so sorry, Shoon.” Being careful not to mess up the styling, Shoon pets Hikaru’s hair. “Shhh. It’s okay, it’s okay.”

Taiyo stares at them, looking impossibly small despite his height. “We’re supposed to be onstage… What’s happening?”

This time there are tears because they know that it’s for real. They never receive an explanation, just formal condolences followed by the announcement that the Ya-ya-yah Show is going to be cancelled since soon there won’t be a Ya-ya-yah.

Rumors, of course, come out before the official statement. None of the foursome confirms or denies anything. “I wish they’d just let us finish in peace. I don’t need to be reminded every five seconds!” A frustrated Hikaru complains in the sanctuary of their dressing room. Shoon’s glad that Hikaru never had to deal with every single sempai that ever debuted, and the many more that didn’t, being a sign of what would one day, a day that is now in the very near future, happen to him. He doubts that Hikaru would have been able to handle it.

“I’ll quit.” The heavy silence that followed Hikaru’s outburst is broken by Yabu. “I’ll quit, we’ll all quit, and we’ll make our own band.” Hikaru quickly says that he approves of the plan. Shoon shakes his head. “Yabu-chan, Hikaru, this is a great opportunity for you guys. Taiyo and I want you to take it. Promise us that you’ll make us proud.” In an act that speaks more to overwhelming sadness than practiced synchronization, Yabu and Hikaru reach for Shoon in tandem, two little brothers that are bigger than the big brother they have depended on so much for about a third of their respective lives.

“Taiyo.” Shoon calls the biggest of his little brothers. “I really am quitting.” Taiyo responds forlornly, like this information will exclude him from the group hug. “We’ll talk about it later. We’re waiting for you.” Reassured, Taiyo joins them.

“Ya-ya-yah forever.” Hikaru says with a grin, unable to be sad when he’s thinking of them. The words, and that great smile, make them all a little happier. His accent is as terrible as ever. “Every song that I write will be for us, no matter what I tell anybody else.” Yabu pledges, touching his hand to his heart, a gesture that they all copy.

“On the topic of this,” Hikaru taps his chest to show what he means, “we never got a chance to ask Shoon who he was up late talking on the phone to that one time.” For a little while they forget about things like Hey!Say!JUMP as Yabu, Hikaru, and Taiyo try to tease information out of Shoon, who steadfastly refuses to tell them anything as he knows all too well how they will use it against him. It isn’t quite like always, but it’s close.

“I didn’t let you down, did I, Taiyo?” The two of them are alone now, making it the perfect opportunity to discuss what their futures will be without alarming Yabu and Hikaru. “NO!” Taiyo tells him vehemently. “You never let any of us down, Shoon. This is just how things turned out.” They talk until it’s too late for them to continue without making Taiyo’s parents worry about where he is. Then they make plans to see each other again soon, like they normally do.

“Sorry I never got a chance to text you back.” Shoon finds Shige when things have calmed down a little, when only two of the three of his best friends are being extremely needy. Enough time has elapsed that Shoon is worried that Shige has forgotten about what he texted him. “It’s alright, I completely understand. I heard Reon impersonating me the other day, so I knew that you got my message.” Making a mental note to get revenge on Reon, Shoon apologized again.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m the one that should be saying ‘sorry’. If I had told you what I knew back when I first started hearing the rumors, you and your group might have been able to adjust better. It’s partially my fault that this hit you guys so hard. I didn’t want to say anything because nothing was concrete back then. Still, I feel badly.

This thing, with them only taking two of you, it makes me think of when Koyama, Kusano, and I were integrated into NewS. Back then, the happiness hit me so hard that I didn’t even think about the others, my friends, that didn’t get picked. The way debuts rip us apart is the worst.”

Shoon gave Shige a small smile. “I always knew that one day Yabu-chan and Hikaru would move forward without me. Every time that an announcement came, starting with the CD, through the show, endless stage plays and concerts where one or more of us was left out, kitty GYM, I thought that it was the end, that us four weren’t going to be allowed to perform together anymore, but it ended up lasting until now, and I’m thankful for that. Though I wish that Taiyo could have gone with Yabu-chan and Hikaru, we’ve talked about it and we agree that it’s for the best. The thing is, Shige, the debut hasn’t ripped us apart at all, to use your words. Ya-ya-yah is in our hearts.” Tucking his hands into his pockets, Shige leaned back against the wall behind him. “I should have known. Nothing could change the relationship that you guys have.”

Mom’s reaction to it all is to demand that her boys resign from Johnny’s. She’s dramatic like that. Shoon tells her that he’ll do it when he’s ready, and ends up going to work more frequently than he ever has in the past because Yabu and Hikaru need someone to run to whenever they get a break from the hell (their term, not Shoon’s) that is Hey!Say!JUMP. Gradually, Shoon disappears from Shounen Club, from magazines, from Hyakushiki, and from other venues through a process called “graduation”. It never comes as a surprise; rumors provide an unreliable sort of clairvoyance that allows Shoon to be prepared. Sometimes Shige is the one to tell him about what might happen, which makes the news that Shoon would ordinarily regard in a neutral fashion something great. He doesn’t miss the little bit of fame that he used to have.

The dynamics of the new group slowly improve. When Hikaru actually refers to Keito by his name, and not by an insult, Shoon decides that it’s time for him to stop being a buffer. “If you guys needed me, I’d stay. But right now, all I’m doing is coming between you and them, and that’s counter-productive.” They make plans to meet up on the next weekend that Yabu and Hikaru have off, and Shoon promises to tell Taiyo before leaving to find Shige.

“What’s new?” Shige asks him, a greeting that has become a codeword between the two of them (Shige uses it when he hasn’t heard anything with regards to Shoon; if he had, he’d ask: “have you heard the news?”). Shoon shrugs. “Preparing for eventualities, same as always. I’m thinking about running a marathon, so I’ve got to get in shape.” Though his eyes are bright with obvious interest, Shige keeps his voice casual. “I’ve been doing some jogging lately. Rumor has it that NewS is going to get a show where we have to race around.”

There’s an uncomfortable pause, because Shoon’s shy when it comes to Shige, even when the hint is about as subtle as a kick in the groin, and because Shige isn’t yet certain what roles the boys of Ya-ya-yah play in Shoon’s and is afraid of overstepping his bounds. Eventually they manage to muddle through their awkwardness and establish that yes, as long as they both happen to be running, they might as well do it together.

One unremarkable evening, Shoon leads Shige to a secluded section of a park. The sun has nearly set, creating an ambiance that is either slightly sinister or romantic (Shoon’s aiming for the latter), and no one is there aside from the two of them.

“I understand how much rumors can hurt idols. If word got out that you were in a serious relationship with a girl, it’d probably negatively affect your career. And if it was a boy that you were seeing… It would most likely destroy you. I don’t know if you consider me to be worth the risk, but I swear, if you’ll go out with me, I’ll do everything in my power to protect you from anything that might hurt you, including tabloids and the paparazzi.”

It’s definitely not a traditional confession. Like Shoon had expected, Shige responds that he needs time to consider it. “It isn’t easy to commit to a relationship where you know that you’re going to have to share your boyfriend with three other guys in addition to his family.” In a gesture that is unintentionally charming, Shoon takes Shige’s hand and states firmly: “I have room in my heart for all of you. And I’m strong enough to take care of you all too.”

Unable to repress his smile, Shige squeezed Shoon’s fingers. “There you go again, Mr. Intensity. If you had put one ounce of your effort into being a big star, you could have been incredibly famous.”

“You could be correct, but I don’t think that would have been right for me. Where I am now is exactly where I want to be. And I mean that in terms of who I am, what I do, and who I’m with this very second. Someone who I’d like to be with for as long as he’ll have me.” Releasing Shige’s hand, Shoon led the way back down the path. “No pressure or anything.” Shoon’s waited nearly ten years, he has no problem being patient a little while longer for Shige’s “yes.”

When Shoon announces to the other boys of Ya-ya-yah (because that’s who they are to him) that he and Shige are dating, Hikaru immediately starts teasing him. “Took you long enough! We’ve been watching you moon over that dork for almost a decade.” After smacking Hikaru on the head and admonishing him not to insult Shoon’s “boooooy-friend”, Yabu told Shoon that he better not start putting Shige before them or anything, because they’d been “the important men in his life” for longer. Taiyo just hugged him and laughed and hugged him again, and said that he was happy that Shoon was happy.

Somehow, they end up renting an entire restaurant for the night. Even though the majority of the guests are legal, there’s no alcohol, out of respect for the younger members of the Hey!Say! contingent. Five minutes into the affair and someone’s already crying: “Ryuutaro put PEPPER in my coke!” Before Shoon can react, Yabu is comforting Chinen and getting him a new drink while Hikaru gently reprimands Ryuutaro, telling him that certain tricks are forbidden to pull on sensitive people.

“I never thought I’d see the day when Yabu-chan and Hikka were the ones looking after their group, instead of being the ones that need looking after.” Taiyo said to Shoon incredulously. “It’s pretty amazing.” Crisis averted, Yabu and Hikaru returned to their seats in time to hear the comment. “I’m the leader, the eldest, I have to be responsible.” Throwing an arm around Hikaru, Yabu grinned at Taiyo and Shoon. “And Hikaru is my deputy so he has to be too!”

“Yabu is a good leader. He’s also the handsomest.” Inoo said, making Yabu blush and complain that Inoo was being too much of a fanboy again. Partially to rescue Yabu from his embarrassment, partially because it was a topic of mutual interest, Shoon engaged Inoo in a conversation about university life. Thus occupied, he neglected to notice when Shige, Koyama, Kusano, a little late to the party because they’d had work, the former two together, the latter on his own, and was surprised when he felt someone rest a hand on his shoulder. “Mind if I take my boyfriend back for a little while?” Shige asked Inoo, and Inoo obligingly left to join Yuuto and Takaki in secretly putting things into Arioka’s hair, the challenge made more interesting because Arioka was awake (usually they only did it when he was sleeping).

Leaning in, Shige gave Shoon what was intended to be a discrete kiss “hello,” but because the other boys spotted them and immediately began serenading them with the sappiest Johnny’s love song that they all new the lyrics to -it was one of Arashi’s- the kiss ended up lasting long enough for them to both run out of breath.

“So, baby, have you heard the news?” Shige asked Shoon after they separated for air, using their old code. “No, what?” Shoon played along. “I love you. I just thought that you should know.” It was the first time that Shige had said those words, and the joy that he felt at hearing them reflected in Shoon’s eyes, though his voice remained calm “Thanks for the information. I wonder if it’ll change my life at all.” In response, Shige smirked and spoke loudly enough to be heard by everyone in the room. “Well, I’ll tell you this much: it’ll definitely affect your plans for tonight, and tomorrow too, depending on how well you can walk by then.” Shoon and Shige laughed while the others either protested that the statement was “way TMI!”

The realization dawns on Shoon that he’s actually quite lucky. He doubts that this is a recent development, it’s more likely that he just couldn’t see if before. “What are you thinking about?” Shige asked, looking at him curiously. “Oh, nothing much.” Shoon replied with a smile. “Just old news.”

Poll Team Present

round 2: prompt 01, team: present

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