Gift fic for jain
To: jain
From: bloodybrilliant
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Recipient: jain
Title: But I'll Break Before I Bend
Pairing: [NEWS with a hint of Kanjani8] Ryo/Shige
Rating: PG/PG-13?
Disclaimer: T_T Not my possessions.
Notes: Thank you so very much to all of my incredible, life-saving betas. You know who you are! I HONESTLY could not have done this without your help! Thank you so so much. The title and the song lyric are both Red Hot Chili Peppers. :]
Jain, I hope you enjoy this fic. It's the first time that I've written this pairing and Shige is very wonderful but troublesome! I hope I did both he and Ryo justice in this and that you like your fic. I tried for a bit of smut, but it really didn't work out that way. Maybe if I end up writing more of this one day, it'll get there. :] I really enjoyed writing it for you!
Summary: Shige is a very awkward boy.
Shige's the only one occupying the rehearsal room when Ryo walks in early one morning. Shige had thought no one would be there at this time and he would be able to find an hour or two of quiet time that he couldn't seem to find at his apartment where the neighbors were always making some sort of small noise. And it had been quiet; the studios were sound-proof, after all. It was peaceful enough to sit and think and, most importantly, to concentrate enough to work on the song he'd been trying to write for the past two weeks. He'd been making progress, too. He had a few more stanzas written and he was trying to put it all together when he was interrupted.
Shige stops playing immediately. "Sorry," he mumbles and moves to pick up the papers that he's scribbled notes on.
"You don't have to stop playing just because I'm here," Ryo says, sitting down in a plush chair in the corner.
"I didn't know anyone would be here this early," Shige says. "I thought I would-"
"I'm always here early," Ryo says, cutting him off and pulling his knit cap down over his eyes. Shige watches him get comfortable, shoulders wriggling and hips shifting in the chair. Then he moves his hand from one ear to the other, making sure his earphones were snug before resting his head in the crook of the chair.
"We have a photoshoot in two hours. Don't mind me," is the last thing Ryo says to Shige before his thumb slides on his iPod and his arm is thrown across his face.
Shige sighs softly, debating whether or not to leave. He opts for not disturbing Ryo and quietly collects his things, even though he can hear music coming from where Ryo is resting.
"She's pushing me onto my knees; I'm prayin' to my baby she screams" is the last thing Shige hears before he scurries out of the room, guitar under his arm, and face red. He doesn't know very much English, but he can understand that. Ryo listens to weird music.
+ + + + + + + + + + +
They are dressed in white shorts and polo shirts; visors are optional. Ryo and Tegoshi each grab one, grinning at each other as they fit the caps on. Ryo tilts his to the side. He turns suddenly and nearly knocks over Shige. "Oi! Watch where you're going, Shige," Ryo says sharply. But, when Shige apologizes, his voice is slightly softer. "You didn't have to leave. You weren't bothering me even though your D-string was out of tune," he admits before walking away, slinging an arm around Tegoshi.
Shige tilts his head and watches them go. He can't decide if he was more surprised that he didn't realise his guitar was out of tune or that Ryo would notice that quickly.
"Let's have a great shoot, ne, Shige?" Koyama clamps his hand on Shige's shoulder and grins. Shige can't help but return it. He nods.
"Yes! Let's do our best!"
+ + + + + + + + + + + +
They are shoved in front of a pseudo-net and given raquets and bright yellow balls. Massu is juggling four of the balls. Yamapi is bouncing one against the floor and catching it in his hand, his face a mask of unconcern beneath huge black sunglasses. Koyama is trying not to look worried as he stands next to Shige, smiling brightly, but his hand-wringing gives him away. Ryo and Tegoshi, on the other hand, are looking suspicious. Tegoshi glances over at him sideways through his yellow racquet, as though it will be less obvious to Shige. His grin is a little too happy, and Ryo, who is much more subtle than Tegoshi and has refrained from glancing outright at Shige -- it's just never good when Ryo looks like that.
Shige frowns. He feels this is perhaps not the best idea for a photoshoot. As he turns to Koyama to express his unease with the situation, something hits him on the back of the head and he jerks with the impact. Koyama's eyes widen. "Shige! Are you okay?"
He doesn't need to turn around to know who is responsible. Even if it weren't for their unmistakable peals of laughter, he'd still know.
When he does turn -- to glare -- he sees Tegoshi nearly doubled over with laughter. He rights himself to look at Ryo and they knock their fists together. A fistbop, like something out of a sports manga, Shige thinks grumpily. He grits his teeth.
Ryo smiles up at Shige and Tegoshi calls out in a deep voice, "Fight-o, Kato-san!" This just devolves into another laughing fit now involving everyone except for Shige.
Shige feels a sort of anger rise up but he smiles instead. He thinks that his head hurts and there might be a bump and maybe the headache will last until tomorrow. He hopes he has some sort of acetaminophen because this will be a long day.
Tegoshi, flashing his fingers in a "V", waves his racquet at him and Ryo tosses a ball at his feet. "You're so funny when you're flustered, Shige," Ryo says between bouts of laughter.
Shige frowns.
+ + + + + + + + +
The photoshoot goes without a hitch (of course) and Shige's head heals with minimal damage. There's no actual "bump" but that doesn't stop Shige from complaining about the pain and the possible injury and the theoretical damage that the negligence of Ryo and Tegoshi's actions could have caused. Ryo and Tegoshi just laugh more at Shige. Tegoshi seems to like waving his racquet a little too much. Shige wants to smash it over his head but he refrains. He just does what he has to do: smiles, leans, drapes, stares.
Shige is a tennis player, he thinks. He tries to pose as one but he really knows nothing about tennis and feels awkward all the same. He has wristbands and he wipes his arm across his forehead. Pretend tennis makes you sweat too, he finds. The photographer snaps a shot.
"Great shot, Kato-kun," he says, nodding. "Try the thing with your mouth."
Shige blushes. "What," he says. The photographer laughs. "You know what I mean. That thing you do with your thumb and your lip. That the girls love. Do that." The photographer winks and Shige blushes harder and fights the urge to roll his eyes.
He hopes it isn't obvious he is gritting his teeth in the photo.
+ + + + + + +
When Shige walks into News' dressing room after rehearsal one evening, he is surprised to find Ryo with Yasuda and Ohkura. He blinks for a moment and looks around, making sure he hasn't stumbled into the wrong room. His things, however, are right there where he left them next to the chair where the three others are shoving something into Ryo's black bag. Ryo looks up, startled, when the door closes and Yasuda turns his bright grin on Shige.
"Ne, Kato-kun, it's been a while. How's school?" Yasuda walks forward, looks like he's genuinely interested in whatever Shige will say. "Law school must be tough! I don't know if I'd be good at that. You're so serious though. I'm sure you're doing well."
Shige pauses a moment before answering. "Ah, it's going good, I guess. Hard though, yes. I'm doing my best--"
"Done!" Ryo announces and Yasuda and Shige look over at him.
"Great!" Yasuda exclaims and he's walking over toward his friends. Ohkura has picked up Ryo's bag and crossed it over his shoulders as Ryo picks up his guitar case.
"Ready?" Ohkura says to Ryo in a quiet voice. He's smiling but when Yasuda stops next to Ryo, the three of them look at each other and suddenly share this disconcerting grin. Creepy, Shige thinks. It's like they know something.
Tegoshi bursts through the door at that moment, a little out of breath. "Ryo-tan! I think he--" Tegoshi stops abruptly and blinks as he looks over and notices Shige sitting there. Then he grins. "Hey Shige! When did you get here?" Tegoshi walks over to him and flops
down.
"Recently," he says, waiting for Tegoshi to go on. When he doesn't, Shige prompts: "Weren't you saying something when you came in?" He adjusts his glasses.
"What?" Tegoshi laughs, but he doesn't elaborate.
"It's okay. You don't have to interrupt what you were saying for me." Shige is curious about what it was. Maybe he interrupted more than just Tegoshi's words when he walked into the room.
Tegoshi laughs again and glances over at Ryo before speaking again. "But I want to talk to Shige! Tell me Shige, how was your day?" Shige's really unsure where all this is going. And didn't he just spend most of the day in rehearsals with Tegoshi? Ryo, Ohkura and Yasuda are opening the door, though, and Tegoshi waves at them. "Good-bye, Ryo-tan! Ohkura-san! Yassan! Have fun!"
They all smile warmly at Tegoshi and bid him good-bye. Tegoshi gives them a thumbs up and Ryo shakes his head fondly before the door closes behind them. Shige still has this feeling he's missed something. He looks at his watch and wonders if maybe it will be two hours past the time he really thinks it is and then it will all make sense: a missing two hours. 16:47, his watch says. So much for that, Shige sighs. When he looks up, Tegoshi is staring at him with this expectant look on his face.
"Oooh ooh! I know!" Tegoshi is excited again and Shige wonders what he will say now. So far Shige hasn't had the chance to answer his questions nor has Tegoshi answered Shige. It's really been pointless. "Play your song for me, Shige!"
This startles Shige. "What do you mean?"
"You know! The one you're working on. I've heard about it." Tegoshi's nodding, eyes wide and eager. "I can't wait to hear it."
Shige smiles, cautious. "Where did you hear that?"
Tegoshi waves a dismissive hand. "I've just...heard," he says, as though that explains it all. "Now! Will you play it for me? Come on. Please?"
Shige really wants to know where Tegoshi had heard of the new song he was working on. He can't recall playing it for anyone except Koyama and that had been at his apartment. But when he looks back at Tegoshi, he is met with that face and the words Shige has been about to say are forgotten.
"Alright," Shige smiles. He walks over to his guitar case and turns back to look at Tegoshi when he hears an odd, strangled sound coming from behind him. It looks like Tegoshi is coughing behind his hand but he shoves his thumb up at Shige, urging him on. Shige nods as he turns toward his case again, opening the lid and reaching for his guitar. Now it's Shige making an odd, strangled sound as his hands fly off of the case and he steps back.
There are two caterpillars on his guitar. Ugly, terrifying black caterpillars. One of them has orange stripes and the other one...the other one is sharp and spiky and looks very, very dangerous.
Tegoshi's cough is definitely laughter now that he is standing next to Shige looking into the case. "Why did you put caterpillars in your guitar case, Shige?" His eyes are shining and Shige's chest feels sort of tight, like it's hard to breathe.
"I didn't. I wouldn't." Shige can't form a sentence and how is he going to get those horrible things out of there, off of his guitar and what if there are more that Shige can't see? More of those creatures hiding in his case or in his guitar. What will he do then? Shige breathes. "I...I hate those guys." Shige manages before he turns on his heel and walks out the door.
"Wait! Shige wait!" Tegoshi is yelling after him. "I'll take them out, Shige! It's okay, come back! They're not real!" But Shige leaves. He doesn't go back to the room. He just keeps walking, heading for the elevators and down, just wanting to get out of the building. He walks past Ryo, Ohkura, and Yasuda in the lobby talking to Yamapi. Ryo grins at him.
"Where are you going so fast, Shige? Are you leaving without your things?" His grin falters a little, though, when Shige doesn't answer and just continues to walk. Just a few more feet and he'll be outside. It'll be okay then.
Ryo grabs his arm before he can get outside. "Hey. It's a joke, right? They're not real. I thought..." His voice trails off as he stares at Shige who refuses to look Ryo in the eye. "I didn't know, okay? I didn't know it would bother you this bad. Shige?"
Shige shrugs off Ryo. "I know you didn't know. How could you? I'm fine. See you tomorrow." And just like that Shige walks out the door, leaving four people staring after him.
Shige feels sort of stupid for reacting this way, but he really is scared of caterpillars. It's a childish fear, and he can't help it.
+ + + + + + +
While Shige is still a bit shaken up by the incident with the caterpillars, he knows that Ryo wasn't trying to be cruel to him. Ryo's not that kind of a person (the over-blown "rivalry" with Ueda notwithstanding). Ryo probably thought Shige was joking about how much he hated caterpillars, didn't think Shige was actually terrified of them. After all, he'd had his imaginary cat talk about them.
Still, it's hard for Shige to not be upset. It's easier to just avoid Ryo for a few days, which is difficult because Ryo seems to be seeking him out. First, there's the insulated box left on top of his chair. He's a little wary but, when he opens it, he discovers its takoyaki: still warm. He shares them with Koyama, letting Koyama eat most of them.
"These are so delicious, Shige! You've tried them, right? Here. Eat some." Koyama holds the box out, but Shige shakes his head.
"I've had enough, thank you. You can have the rest."
Koyama looks skeptical. "Are you sure? This looks like a full order." Koyama is a little hesitant and he glances over to the other side of the room when he hears an exasperated sigh. Shige can feel Ryo watching him but, when he glances up, Ryo's eyes are closed and his earphones are on. There's a frown on his face that Shige decides to ignore. He looks back at Koyama when he notices he is speaking again.
"Here. Try this one." Koyama's voice is gentle, belying his insistence, and he is holding out a bite of food with chopsticks. Shige is sure that Koyama knows who the takoyaki is from. He just shakes his head at Koyama. Shige wants to eat it, but at the same time, he can't. All he can think about is the caterpillars; about how he couldn't move in that moment; about Tegoshi's laughter and Ryo's wide grin. He doesn't think about the look on Ryo's face when Shige ignored him and kept walking to the door. He doesn't think about Ryo's hand on his arm, nor the words he said right before Shige shrugged him off and left. He's angry all over again.
He doesn't know why he is being this stubborn; it's takoyaki. And then its homemade gyoza. Next, a musical theory book finds its way into his bag. Then he discovers a small waving cat charm on his phone.
Shige recognises an apology from Ryo when they start to come. Ryo is a very sincere person. He may put on an overly confident persona for the cameras, but he's not fake and he doesn't lie. This is something Shige has learned about Ryo in all the years he's known him. Ryo is real. He's a good type of person. Ryo doesn't say he's sorry, because that would be too obvious and easy. Trite. Sometimes those kind of apologies just don't come out very sincere at all. No, he knows Ryo is trying to apologize. He just chooses to ignore it because he can't deal with it well. How is he, after a week, supposed to tell Ryo that he's sorry for over-reacting? It's really all very awkward.
It comforts him -- but only a little -- that he's still avoiding Tegoshi too.
+ + + + + + +
Shige finds himself alone with Ryo in the dressing room a week later. Ryo's playing his guitar in his bathrobe, seemingly oblivious to anything around him. Shige stands there, unmoving for a while, deciding if he will stay or if he will go. He is still avoiding Ryo as much as possible given that they work together, but Shige is getting tired of it. It is getting to be too much effort. Besides, the song Ryo is playing is pretty good, Shige thinks. He wonders what it's from; it seems almost familiar.
"Are you ever going to take out your guitar or are you just waiting for me to finish so you can applaud? You can applaud now, if you want. I know I'm good." Ryo looks over at Shige with a grin. His cheeks, though, are slightly pink and he ducks his head. Shige thinks its weird. Its almost like he's embarrassed. Or asking Shige's opinion, as though Shige's opinion matters.
Ryo's acting like everything is back to normal, giving Shige the decision to accept this and go on again. Shige doesn't think too hard about it, takes a deep breath and sits down instead. As Shige takes out his guitar, he asks Ryo about the song. "Aah," he says. "Is it new?" Shige sits and plucks his strings, making sure they're still tuned from earlier. He plucks "D" last and strums a chord when he is
satisfied.
Ryo's laughter surprises him. He looks up when Ryo speaks. "It's for you."
Shige is shocked and his hands stop on his guitar. He meets Ryo's eyes, feels his cheeks burn and blinks. "What," he says. Shige winces in embarassment. He wishes he'd thought of something more intelligent to say.
Ryo's face is red now, though. "Sorry, I mean..." Ryo trails off. There's a small breath of amusement and he goes on. "I kind of wrote it for an accompaniment for your song," he clarifies. "I was thinking about it the other day. It's a decent song."
Shige doesn't know what to say to that. Ryo is complimenting him, too. Even Shige realises this.
"You didn't have to do that," he says after an awkward pause. "It really needs a lot more work. I don't know what to do with it. I think I could do much better, I've just been too busy to work on it enough. I might just forget about it." His voice trails off to a mumble and he is staring down at his sneakers. Dealing with the nice Ryo is much more difficult than dealing with the teasing Ryo, but Shige still
doesn't know how to respond to either of them.
"Stupid."
Shige looks up and Ryo is standing to pick up his guitar. He doesn't look at Shige and he is shaking his head.
"You just had to say 'thank you' or 'never mind, I don't like it'. I wouldn't have bothered if I thought it was a shitty song." Ryo drops the lid on his guitar case shut. "Don't act like I wasted my time." Ryo's voice is angry, annoyed. Shige didn't mean it to come out the way it did. Idiot, he thinks to himself. He likes what Ryo wrote; he just doesn't know why it was so hard to admit that, to
accept Ryo's apology. Shige just isn't good at that sort of thing. (He doesn't think about how easily he accepted Yasuda's phone call and apology on behalf of himself and Ohkura for their part in the prank two days later.)
"I liked it," he blurts out as Ryo's hand is on the doorhandle. He sees Ryo hesitate.
"You don't have to just say something to make me feel better, Shige." Ryo's voice is quieter but still angry and his head is down. "It's not like I'm a fucking girl or anything."
"I'm not saying it to make you feel better," Shige admits. "It is good. Better than what I could have come up with alone."
"Hnn," Ryo says and walks out the door. Shige has the sinking feeling he really insulted Ryo. Ryo who had written a part for Shige's song. Ryo who has been trying to apologize for two weeks despite Shige's continued indifference. Ryo who has obviously spent a lot of effort trying to make it up to Shige who, once again, refused.
Maybe Shige is being too stubborn. After all, he'd even accepted Tegoshi's apology a few days earlier. If he just knew what to do.
He is still sitting there a few minutes later when Yamapi walks in the room.
"Hello, Shige," he says with a nod, walking over to the counter and fumbling around a bit as though he's looking for something.
"Yamashita-kun," Shige replies with a nod of his own. He waits for Yamapi to find what it is he came for, but he seems to have forgotten about it and hops up to sit on the counter instead.
There's a long pause before the silence is broken again.
"Were you practicing?" Yamapi asks, fingers tapping on the surface next to him. Its an irregular beat and Shige wishes he would stop. He can't think with the tapping.
He shakes his head. "No," he says. "I wasn't."
Yamapi lifts his chin. "Ah, I just thought you were." He motions to the guitar in Shige's lap and looks as though he is choosing his words carefully. "Ryo just left, didn't he? I thought I saw him come from here." Yamapi is staring at Shige now, his gaze beginning to make Shige uncomfortable.
"He seemed pretty upset, though. He said he was going home," Yamapi says significantly. Shige finally looks up and meets his eyes.
Shige knew what he was getting at. He stands and starts to pack up his guitar. As he is walking to the door, Yamapi stops him.
He has a serious look on his face and he clears his throat. "As leader, I really need this to be resolved. It's affecting everyone and others have started to notice. It's been two weeks. Do your best to make it right. Today." He nods firmly, and Shige nods back. Then he takes a deep breath and smiles. "As Ryo's friend, please try. Ryo's really sorry. If he would have known how much you were afraid of them, he never would have picked on you like that. He just thought you didn't like them. Ryo-chan's a good person. He's a good friend." Yamapi's smile is softer now and Shige feels really guilty.
"I understand, Yamashita-kun. I will take care of it. Right now."
Yamapi grins, giving Shige thumbs up. "Yay! Good luck, Shige. Do your best!"
Shige can't help but smile back. "Thank you. I will do my best."
+ + + + + + + +
Shige feels nervous knocking on Ryo's door. He's only been here maybe twice before with the others, never alone. It seems like he's been waiting outside for a while and he turns to leave. He's only taken a few steps when the door opens.
"Shige." Ryo looks surprised to see him standing there, but Shige thinks he's probably more surprised to see Ryo standing in doorway with a large, dirty knife in his hand. He doesn't speak for a moment, eyes fixed on the knife, and he stammers a bit.
"If I'm interrupting something, I'll just--"
Ryo is following Shige's line of sight. "Oh for fuck's sake, I'm cooking!" he says, exasperatedly. "Are you coming in?"
He moves aside when Shige nods, "Yes. Sure, sorry. Sorry." Shige feels a little out of place with Ryo standing there watching him as he removes his shoes and places his bag next to the door. They regard each other for a moment and Ryo shrugs and walks back toward the kitchen. Shige follows him. Ryo's apartment is a lot neater than last time he was there. (Of course, there had been about seven other people present as well at that time. It was expected that things would be out of place.)
In Ryo's living room, he sees two guitars and a bass on stands against the opposite wall. He remembers Ryo talking about learning to play the bass and wonders how that's going. Shige opens his mouth to ask, but then remembers why he's here and decides to wait to bring up the guitar.
In the kitchen, Ryo goes back to chopping, Shige silently noting the steady rise and fall of his hand. There is a pan of gyoza on the burner.
"Are you having company over for dinner?" Shige asks.
Ryo looks at him like he's insane.
"You're here, aren't you?"
"Oh. Well, I wasn't--"
"What? You think I can't cook? I cook all the time. I'm good at it. I won't poison you." Ryo walks to the sink and cleans off his knife, placing it on the side of the counter.
"No, I didn't mean it like that. I just. I don't want to intrude."
Ryo is wiping his hands on a towel and he sighs. "Do you want food?"
Shige knows he is waiting for an answer. He is staring at Shige expectantly.
"It's a simple question, Shige. Yes or no?"
"Yes, thank you."
Shige wishes this wasn't so uncomfortable. He is saved from another awkward silence by the ringing of Ryo's phone, which he goes off into the hall to answer.
When he returns, he smiles at Shige. "Now we can eat."
The food is really quite good and there is no conversation at first beyond the few words exchanged when Ryo places the dishes on the table. They eat in what Shige would consider companionable silence.
+ + + + + + +
"Well?" Ryo inquires after they are finished and the plates are put away. They are sitting in the living room, leaning on opposite sidesof the sofa, listening to Ryo's music folder on shuffle through the stereo.
"It was really good. I liked it," Shige says and Ryo smiles, obviously pleased with himself. "Where did you get the gyoza?"
Ryo's face falls and Shige knows he's said the wrong thing.
"What do you mean? I made it, Shige. I told you that. Where do you think I got the gyoza I gave you last week? The convenience store?" Ryo's voice is quiet again, like it was earlier in the dressing room.
Shige's shoulders slump. This wasn't going according to plan at all. He felt wrong and now Ryo was unhappy. He'd spent all that time making the gyoza to give to Shige that Shige handed off to Massu. He didn't even taste it. Shige really felt horrible.
Ryo continues. "You still haven't even told me why you are here." He sits there glaring at Shige and Shige feels unsure of how to proceed, but something has to be said.
"I'm sorry!" The words are abnormally loud, and Ryo is just quiet. He's staring at Shige now like Shige has grown another head, and they look at each other for a moment.
"You're apologizing to me?"
Shige nods, staring at Ryo's bookcase. "I've been really stubborn. I know you were trying to apologize to me and that you didn't mean to...you know." Shige waves his hands before finally looking at Ryo. "Sorry I was so stubborn and didn't accept your apologies, Ryo-chan."
Shige bows his head a little and when he lifts it, Ryo is closer and peering at him curiously. He makes a face and sighs loudly as though he is about to do something he is not particularly sure about.
"Well," Ryo huffs. "I didn't know you hated caterpillars that much. I didn't know it was like some sort of a phobia." Now Ryo is looking off vaguely toward the window over Shige's shoulder with a grumbly look on his face.
"I thought I made it obvious," Shige states. "I mean, I wrote about it and I even talked about it on the radioshow!"
"It seemed like just a thing you say," Ryo says with a frown. "You know, for the fans. You had your 'cat' talk about it, Shige. How was I supposed to know?"
Shige sighs in frustration and throws up his hands. "I don't know! You just should. Or not. Whatever." When did this get so confusing, Shige wonders.
Shige sees a muscle move in Ryo's jaw as he presses his teeth together and nods sharply before bowing his head.
"I'm sorry, Shige, about the caterpillar prank. I didn't mean to upset you. I hope you can forgive me."
Shige is is stunned. He doesn't know how to react, what to say or to do and Ryo -- Ryo -- has his head lowered before him. Shige starts to react in a panicked sort of way when Ryo doesn't lift his head right away.
"Get up!" he stammers. "Ryo! You don't. Stop, it's okay. You don't have to. Just...UP!" Shige's hands are clumsy as they touch Ryo's shoulders and pull him up and push him back all at once.
And that is how Shige finds himself hovering on top of Ryo, hands planted on either side of him (one half-on his shoulder and the other half-under his neck), on Ryo's very plain, very ordinary beige-colored sofa.
They stare at each other in yet another moment of great awkwardness between the two of them. As he looks down at Ryo, Shige thinks about checking his watch, wondering just what time it's getting to be, when Ryo decides to speak.
"Well, fuck," he states and yanks Shige down by his shirt. Shige thinks he hears the fabric tear and he would frown, but he is seeing stars from his nose bashing against Ryo's. He ends up distracted from that, though, because their teeth and mouths are mashed in such a painfully pleasant way.
"OW!" he exclaims eloquently, somewhere in the viscinity of Ryo's canines. He feels his eyes well up with tears, but that is quickly dismissed for the much more interesting sensation of Ryo's very warm lips on his own. He opens his mouth slightly, at the same time as Ryo has decided to close his.
"OW!" This time, it's Ryo.
"You're terrible at this," Ryo declares.
"Why does this have to be so difficult?" Shige complains. "Why are you so awkward?"
Ryo smiles at him and Shige has to admit to himself that it is a nice smile. "It's not that hard, Shige. Don't be so uptight."
Shige smiles back and kisses Ryo. And, just for a little while, Shige forgets to think too hard about it.
From: bloodybrilliant
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Recipient: jain
Title: But I'll Break Before I Bend
Pairing: [NEWS with a hint of Kanjani8] Ryo/Shige
Rating: PG/PG-13?
Disclaimer: T_T Not my possessions.
Notes: Thank you so very much to all of my incredible, life-saving betas. You know who you are! I HONESTLY could not have done this without your help! Thank you so so much. The title and the song lyric are both Red Hot Chili Peppers. :]
Jain, I hope you enjoy this fic. It's the first time that I've written this pairing and Shige is very wonderful but troublesome! I hope I did both he and Ryo justice in this and that you like your fic. I tried for a bit of smut, but it really didn't work out that way. Maybe if I end up writing more of this one day, it'll get there. :] I really enjoyed writing it for you!
Summary: Shige is a very awkward boy.
Shige's the only one occupying the rehearsal room when Ryo walks in early one morning. Shige had thought no one would be there at this time and he would be able to find an hour or two of quiet time that he couldn't seem to find at his apartment where the neighbors were always making some sort of small noise. And it had been quiet; the studios were sound-proof, after all. It was peaceful enough to sit and think and, most importantly, to concentrate enough to work on the song he'd been trying to write for the past two weeks. He'd been making progress, too. He had a few more stanzas written and he was trying to put it all together when he was interrupted.
Shige stops playing immediately. "Sorry," he mumbles and moves to pick up the papers that he's scribbled notes on.
"You don't have to stop playing just because I'm here," Ryo says, sitting down in a plush chair in the corner.
"I didn't know anyone would be here this early," Shige says. "I thought I would-"
"I'm always here early," Ryo says, cutting him off and pulling his knit cap down over his eyes. Shige watches him get comfortable, shoulders wriggling and hips shifting in the chair. Then he moves his hand from one ear to the other, making sure his earphones were snug before resting his head in the crook of the chair.
"We have a photoshoot in two hours. Don't mind me," is the last thing Ryo says to Shige before his thumb slides on his iPod and his arm is thrown across his face.
Shige sighs softly, debating whether or not to leave. He opts for not disturbing Ryo and quietly collects his things, even though he can hear music coming from where Ryo is resting.
"She's pushing me onto my knees; I'm prayin' to my baby she screams" is the last thing Shige hears before he scurries out of the room, guitar under his arm, and face red. He doesn't know very much English, but he can understand that. Ryo listens to weird music.
+ + + + + + + + + + +
They are dressed in white shorts and polo shirts; visors are optional. Ryo and Tegoshi each grab one, grinning at each other as they fit the caps on. Ryo tilts his to the side. He turns suddenly and nearly knocks over Shige. "Oi! Watch where you're going, Shige," Ryo says sharply. But, when Shige apologizes, his voice is slightly softer. "You didn't have to leave. You weren't bothering me even though your D-string was out of tune," he admits before walking away, slinging an arm around Tegoshi.
Shige tilts his head and watches them go. He can't decide if he was more surprised that he didn't realise his guitar was out of tune or that Ryo would notice that quickly.
"Let's have a great shoot, ne, Shige?" Koyama clamps his hand on Shige's shoulder and grins. Shige can't help but return it. He nods.
"Yes! Let's do our best!"
+ + + + + + + + + + + +
They are shoved in front of a pseudo-net and given raquets and bright yellow balls. Massu is juggling four of the balls. Yamapi is bouncing one against the floor and catching it in his hand, his face a mask of unconcern beneath huge black sunglasses. Koyama is trying not to look worried as he stands next to Shige, smiling brightly, but his hand-wringing gives him away. Ryo and Tegoshi, on the other hand, are looking suspicious. Tegoshi glances over at him sideways through his yellow racquet, as though it will be less obvious to Shige. His grin is a little too happy, and Ryo, who is much more subtle than Tegoshi and has refrained from glancing outright at Shige -- it's just never good when Ryo looks like that.
Shige frowns. He feels this is perhaps not the best idea for a photoshoot. As he turns to Koyama to express his unease with the situation, something hits him on the back of the head and he jerks with the impact. Koyama's eyes widen. "Shige! Are you okay?"
He doesn't need to turn around to know who is responsible. Even if it weren't for their unmistakable peals of laughter, he'd still know.
When he does turn -- to glare -- he sees Tegoshi nearly doubled over with laughter. He rights himself to look at Ryo and they knock their fists together. A fistbop, like something out of a sports manga, Shige thinks grumpily. He grits his teeth.
Ryo smiles up at Shige and Tegoshi calls out in a deep voice, "Fight-o, Kato-san!" This just devolves into another laughing fit now involving everyone except for Shige.
Shige feels a sort of anger rise up but he smiles instead. He thinks that his head hurts and there might be a bump and maybe the headache will last until tomorrow. He hopes he has some sort of acetaminophen because this will be a long day.
Tegoshi, flashing his fingers in a "V", waves his racquet at him and Ryo tosses a ball at his feet. "You're so funny when you're flustered, Shige," Ryo says between bouts of laughter.
Shige frowns.
+ + + + + + + + +
The photoshoot goes without a hitch (of course) and Shige's head heals with minimal damage. There's no actual "bump" but that doesn't stop Shige from complaining about the pain and the possible injury and the theoretical damage that the negligence of Ryo and Tegoshi's actions could have caused. Ryo and Tegoshi just laugh more at Shige. Tegoshi seems to like waving his racquet a little too much. Shige wants to smash it over his head but he refrains. He just does what he has to do: smiles, leans, drapes, stares.
Shige is a tennis player, he thinks. He tries to pose as one but he really knows nothing about tennis and feels awkward all the same. He has wristbands and he wipes his arm across his forehead. Pretend tennis makes you sweat too, he finds. The photographer snaps a shot.
"Great shot, Kato-kun," he says, nodding. "Try the thing with your mouth."
Shige blushes. "What," he says. The photographer laughs. "You know what I mean. That thing you do with your thumb and your lip. That the girls love. Do that." The photographer winks and Shige blushes harder and fights the urge to roll his eyes.
He hopes it isn't obvious he is gritting his teeth in the photo.
+ + + + + + +
When Shige walks into News' dressing room after rehearsal one evening, he is surprised to find Ryo with Yasuda and Ohkura. He blinks for a moment and looks around, making sure he hasn't stumbled into the wrong room. His things, however, are right there where he left them next to the chair where the three others are shoving something into Ryo's black bag. Ryo looks up, startled, when the door closes and Yasuda turns his bright grin on Shige.
"Ne, Kato-kun, it's been a while. How's school?" Yasuda walks forward, looks like he's genuinely interested in whatever Shige will say. "Law school must be tough! I don't know if I'd be good at that. You're so serious though. I'm sure you're doing well."
Shige pauses a moment before answering. "Ah, it's going good, I guess. Hard though, yes. I'm doing my best--"
"Done!" Ryo announces and Yasuda and Shige look over at him.
"Great!" Yasuda exclaims and he's walking over toward his friends. Ohkura has picked up Ryo's bag and crossed it over his shoulders as Ryo picks up his guitar case.
"Ready?" Ohkura says to Ryo in a quiet voice. He's smiling but when Yasuda stops next to Ryo, the three of them look at each other and suddenly share this disconcerting grin. Creepy, Shige thinks. It's like they know something.
Tegoshi bursts through the door at that moment, a little out of breath. "Ryo-tan! I think he--" Tegoshi stops abruptly and blinks as he looks over and notices Shige sitting there. Then he grins. "Hey Shige! When did you get here?" Tegoshi walks over to him and flops
down.
"Recently," he says, waiting for Tegoshi to go on. When he doesn't, Shige prompts: "Weren't you saying something when you came in?" He adjusts his glasses.
"What?" Tegoshi laughs, but he doesn't elaborate.
"It's okay. You don't have to interrupt what you were saying for me." Shige is curious about what it was. Maybe he interrupted more than just Tegoshi's words when he walked into the room.
Tegoshi laughs again and glances over at Ryo before speaking again. "But I want to talk to Shige! Tell me Shige, how was your day?" Shige's really unsure where all this is going. And didn't he just spend most of the day in rehearsals with Tegoshi? Ryo, Ohkura and Yasuda are opening the door, though, and Tegoshi waves at them. "Good-bye, Ryo-tan! Ohkura-san! Yassan! Have fun!"
They all smile warmly at Tegoshi and bid him good-bye. Tegoshi gives them a thumbs up and Ryo shakes his head fondly before the door closes behind them. Shige still has this feeling he's missed something. He looks at his watch and wonders if maybe it will be two hours past the time he really thinks it is and then it will all make sense: a missing two hours. 16:47, his watch says. So much for that, Shige sighs. When he looks up, Tegoshi is staring at him with this expectant look on his face.
"Oooh ooh! I know!" Tegoshi is excited again and Shige wonders what he will say now. So far Shige hasn't had the chance to answer his questions nor has Tegoshi answered Shige. It's really been pointless. "Play your song for me, Shige!"
This startles Shige. "What do you mean?"
"You know! The one you're working on. I've heard about it." Tegoshi's nodding, eyes wide and eager. "I can't wait to hear it."
Shige smiles, cautious. "Where did you hear that?"
Tegoshi waves a dismissive hand. "I've just...heard," he says, as though that explains it all. "Now! Will you play it for me? Come on. Please?"
Shige really wants to know where Tegoshi had heard of the new song he was working on. He can't recall playing it for anyone except Koyama and that had been at his apartment. But when he looks back at Tegoshi, he is met with that face and the words Shige has been about to say are forgotten.
"Alright," Shige smiles. He walks over to his guitar case and turns back to look at Tegoshi when he hears an odd, strangled sound coming from behind him. It looks like Tegoshi is coughing behind his hand but he shoves his thumb up at Shige, urging him on. Shige nods as he turns toward his case again, opening the lid and reaching for his guitar. Now it's Shige making an odd, strangled sound as his hands fly off of the case and he steps back.
There are two caterpillars on his guitar. Ugly, terrifying black caterpillars. One of them has orange stripes and the other one...the other one is sharp and spiky and looks very, very dangerous.
Tegoshi's cough is definitely laughter now that he is standing next to Shige looking into the case. "Why did you put caterpillars in your guitar case, Shige?" His eyes are shining and Shige's chest feels sort of tight, like it's hard to breathe.
"I didn't. I wouldn't." Shige can't form a sentence and how is he going to get those horrible things out of there, off of his guitar and what if there are more that Shige can't see? More of those creatures hiding in his case or in his guitar. What will he do then? Shige breathes. "I...I hate those guys." Shige manages before he turns on his heel and walks out the door.
"Wait! Shige wait!" Tegoshi is yelling after him. "I'll take them out, Shige! It's okay, come back! They're not real!" But Shige leaves. He doesn't go back to the room. He just keeps walking, heading for the elevators and down, just wanting to get out of the building. He walks past Ryo, Ohkura, and Yasuda in the lobby talking to Yamapi. Ryo grins at him.
"Where are you going so fast, Shige? Are you leaving without your things?" His grin falters a little, though, when Shige doesn't answer and just continues to walk. Just a few more feet and he'll be outside. It'll be okay then.
Ryo grabs his arm before he can get outside. "Hey. It's a joke, right? They're not real. I thought..." His voice trails off as he stares at Shige who refuses to look Ryo in the eye. "I didn't know, okay? I didn't know it would bother you this bad. Shige?"
Shige shrugs off Ryo. "I know you didn't know. How could you? I'm fine. See you tomorrow." And just like that Shige walks out the door, leaving four people staring after him.
Shige feels sort of stupid for reacting this way, but he really is scared of caterpillars. It's a childish fear, and he can't help it.
+ + + + + + +
While Shige is still a bit shaken up by the incident with the caterpillars, he knows that Ryo wasn't trying to be cruel to him. Ryo's not that kind of a person (the over-blown "rivalry" with Ueda notwithstanding). Ryo probably thought Shige was joking about how much he hated caterpillars, didn't think Shige was actually terrified of them. After all, he'd had his imaginary cat talk about them.
Still, it's hard for Shige to not be upset. It's easier to just avoid Ryo for a few days, which is difficult because Ryo seems to be seeking him out. First, there's the insulated box left on top of his chair. He's a little wary but, when he opens it, he discovers its takoyaki: still warm. He shares them with Koyama, letting Koyama eat most of them.
"These are so delicious, Shige! You've tried them, right? Here. Eat some." Koyama holds the box out, but Shige shakes his head.
"I've had enough, thank you. You can have the rest."
Koyama looks skeptical. "Are you sure? This looks like a full order." Koyama is a little hesitant and he glances over to the other side of the room when he hears an exasperated sigh. Shige can feel Ryo watching him but, when he glances up, Ryo's eyes are closed and his earphones are on. There's a frown on his face that Shige decides to ignore. He looks back at Koyama when he notices he is speaking again.
"Here. Try this one." Koyama's voice is gentle, belying his insistence, and he is holding out a bite of food with chopsticks. Shige is sure that Koyama knows who the takoyaki is from. He just shakes his head at Koyama. Shige wants to eat it, but at the same time, he can't. All he can think about is the caterpillars; about how he couldn't move in that moment; about Tegoshi's laughter and Ryo's wide grin. He doesn't think about the look on Ryo's face when Shige ignored him and kept walking to the door. He doesn't think about Ryo's hand on his arm, nor the words he said right before Shige shrugged him off and left. He's angry all over again.
He doesn't know why he is being this stubborn; it's takoyaki. And then its homemade gyoza. Next, a musical theory book finds its way into his bag. Then he discovers a small waving cat charm on his phone.
Shige recognises an apology from Ryo when they start to come. Ryo is a very sincere person. He may put on an overly confident persona for the cameras, but he's not fake and he doesn't lie. This is something Shige has learned about Ryo in all the years he's known him. Ryo is real. He's a good type of person. Ryo doesn't say he's sorry, because that would be too obvious and easy. Trite. Sometimes those kind of apologies just don't come out very sincere at all. No, he knows Ryo is trying to apologize. He just chooses to ignore it because he can't deal with it well. How is he, after a week, supposed to tell Ryo that he's sorry for over-reacting? It's really all very awkward.
It comforts him -- but only a little -- that he's still avoiding Tegoshi too.
+ + + + + + +
Shige finds himself alone with Ryo in the dressing room a week later. Ryo's playing his guitar in his bathrobe, seemingly oblivious to anything around him. Shige stands there, unmoving for a while, deciding if he will stay or if he will go. He is still avoiding Ryo as much as possible given that they work together, but Shige is getting tired of it. It is getting to be too much effort. Besides, the song Ryo is playing is pretty good, Shige thinks. He wonders what it's from; it seems almost familiar.
"Are you ever going to take out your guitar or are you just waiting for me to finish so you can applaud? You can applaud now, if you want. I know I'm good." Ryo looks over at Shige with a grin. His cheeks, though, are slightly pink and he ducks his head. Shige thinks its weird. Its almost like he's embarrassed. Or asking Shige's opinion, as though Shige's opinion matters.
Ryo's acting like everything is back to normal, giving Shige the decision to accept this and go on again. Shige doesn't think too hard about it, takes a deep breath and sits down instead. As Shige takes out his guitar, he asks Ryo about the song. "Aah," he says. "Is it new?" Shige sits and plucks his strings, making sure they're still tuned from earlier. He plucks "D" last and strums a chord when he is
satisfied.
Ryo's laughter surprises him. He looks up when Ryo speaks. "It's for you."
Shige is shocked and his hands stop on his guitar. He meets Ryo's eyes, feels his cheeks burn and blinks. "What," he says. Shige winces in embarassment. He wishes he'd thought of something more intelligent to say.
Ryo's face is red now, though. "Sorry, I mean..." Ryo trails off. There's a small breath of amusement and he goes on. "I kind of wrote it for an accompaniment for your song," he clarifies. "I was thinking about it the other day. It's a decent song."
Shige doesn't know what to say to that. Ryo is complimenting him, too. Even Shige realises this.
"You didn't have to do that," he says after an awkward pause. "It really needs a lot more work. I don't know what to do with it. I think I could do much better, I've just been too busy to work on it enough. I might just forget about it." His voice trails off to a mumble and he is staring down at his sneakers. Dealing with the nice Ryo is much more difficult than dealing with the teasing Ryo, but Shige still
doesn't know how to respond to either of them.
"Stupid."
Shige looks up and Ryo is standing to pick up his guitar. He doesn't look at Shige and he is shaking his head.
"You just had to say 'thank you' or 'never mind, I don't like it'. I wouldn't have bothered if I thought it was a shitty song." Ryo drops the lid on his guitar case shut. "Don't act like I wasted my time." Ryo's voice is angry, annoyed. Shige didn't mean it to come out the way it did. Idiot, he thinks to himself. He likes what Ryo wrote; he just doesn't know why it was so hard to admit that, to
accept Ryo's apology. Shige just isn't good at that sort of thing. (He doesn't think about how easily he accepted Yasuda's phone call and apology on behalf of himself and Ohkura for their part in the prank two days later.)
"I liked it," he blurts out as Ryo's hand is on the doorhandle. He sees Ryo hesitate.
"You don't have to just say something to make me feel better, Shige." Ryo's voice is quieter but still angry and his head is down. "It's not like I'm a fucking girl or anything."
"I'm not saying it to make you feel better," Shige admits. "It is good. Better than what I could have come up with alone."
"Hnn," Ryo says and walks out the door. Shige has the sinking feeling he really insulted Ryo. Ryo who had written a part for Shige's song. Ryo who has been trying to apologize for two weeks despite Shige's continued indifference. Ryo who has obviously spent a lot of effort trying to make it up to Shige who, once again, refused.
Maybe Shige is being too stubborn. After all, he'd even accepted Tegoshi's apology a few days earlier. If he just knew what to do.
He is still sitting there a few minutes later when Yamapi walks in the room.
"Hello, Shige," he says with a nod, walking over to the counter and fumbling around a bit as though he's looking for something.
"Yamashita-kun," Shige replies with a nod of his own. He waits for Yamapi to find what it is he came for, but he seems to have forgotten about it and hops up to sit on the counter instead.
There's a long pause before the silence is broken again.
"Were you practicing?" Yamapi asks, fingers tapping on the surface next to him. Its an irregular beat and Shige wishes he would stop. He can't think with the tapping.
He shakes his head. "No," he says. "I wasn't."
Yamapi lifts his chin. "Ah, I just thought you were." He motions to the guitar in Shige's lap and looks as though he is choosing his words carefully. "Ryo just left, didn't he? I thought I saw him come from here." Yamapi is staring at Shige now, his gaze beginning to make Shige uncomfortable.
"He seemed pretty upset, though. He said he was going home," Yamapi says significantly. Shige finally looks up and meets his eyes.
Shige knew what he was getting at. He stands and starts to pack up his guitar. As he is walking to the door, Yamapi stops him.
He has a serious look on his face and he clears his throat. "As leader, I really need this to be resolved. It's affecting everyone and others have started to notice. It's been two weeks. Do your best to make it right. Today." He nods firmly, and Shige nods back. Then he takes a deep breath and smiles. "As Ryo's friend, please try. Ryo's really sorry. If he would have known how much you were afraid of them, he never would have picked on you like that. He just thought you didn't like them. Ryo-chan's a good person. He's a good friend." Yamapi's smile is softer now and Shige feels really guilty.
"I understand, Yamashita-kun. I will take care of it. Right now."
Yamapi grins, giving Shige thumbs up. "Yay! Good luck, Shige. Do your best!"
Shige can't help but smile back. "Thank you. I will do my best."
+ + + + + + + +
Shige feels nervous knocking on Ryo's door. He's only been here maybe twice before with the others, never alone. It seems like he's been waiting outside for a while and he turns to leave. He's only taken a few steps when the door opens.
"Shige." Ryo looks surprised to see him standing there, but Shige thinks he's probably more surprised to see Ryo standing in doorway with a large, dirty knife in his hand. He doesn't speak for a moment, eyes fixed on the knife, and he stammers a bit.
"If I'm interrupting something, I'll just--"
Ryo is following Shige's line of sight. "Oh for fuck's sake, I'm cooking!" he says, exasperatedly. "Are you coming in?"
He moves aside when Shige nods, "Yes. Sure, sorry. Sorry." Shige feels a little out of place with Ryo standing there watching him as he removes his shoes and places his bag next to the door. They regard each other for a moment and Ryo shrugs and walks back toward the kitchen. Shige follows him. Ryo's apartment is a lot neater than last time he was there. (Of course, there had been about seven other people present as well at that time. It was expected that things would be out of place.)
In Ryo's living room, he sees two guitars and a bass on stands against the opposite wall. He remembers Ryo talking about learning to play the bass and wonders how that's going. Shige opens his mouth to ask, but then remembers why he's here and decides to wait to bring up the guitar.
In the kitchen, Ryo goes back to chopping, Shige silently noting the steady rise and fall of his hand. There is a pan of gyoza on the burner.
"Are you having company over for dinner?" Shige asks.
Ryo looks at him like he's insane.
"You're here, aren't you?"
"Oh. Well, I wasn't--"
"What? You think I can't cook? I cook all the time. I'm good at it. I won't poison you." Ryo walks to the sink and cleans off his knife, placing it on the side of the counter.
"No, I didn't mean it like that. I just. I don't want to intrude."
Ryo is wiping his hands on a towel and he sighs. "Do you want food?"
Shige knows he is waiting for an answer. He is staring at Shige expectantly.
"It's a simple question, Shige. Yes or no?"
"Yes, thank you."
Shige wishes this wasn't so uncomfortable. He is saved from another awkward silence by the ringing of Ryo's phone, which he goes off into the hall to answer.
When he returns, he smiles at Shige. "Now we can eat."
The food is really quite good and there is no conversation at first beyond the few words exchanged when Ryo places the dishes on the table. They eat in what Shige would consider companionable silence.
+ + + + + + +
"Well?" Ryo inquires after they are finished and the plates are put away. They are sitting in the living room, leaning on opposite sidesof the sofa, listening to Ryo's music folder on shuffle through the stereo.
"It was really good. I liked it," Shige says and Ryo smiles, obviously pleased with himself. "Where did you get the gyoza?"
Ryo's face falls and Shige knows he's said the wrong thing.
"What do you mean? I made it, Shige. I told you that. Where do you think I got the gyoza I gave you last week? The convenience store?" Ryo's voice is quiet again, like it was earlier in the dressing room.
Shige's shoulders slump. This wasn't going according to plan at all. He felt wrong and now Ryo was unhappy. He'd spent all that time making the gyoza to give to Shige that Shige handed off to Massu. He didn't even taste it. Shige really felt horrible.
Ryo continues. "You still haven't even told me why you are here." He sits there glaring at Shige and Shige feels unsure of how to proceed, but something has to be said.
"I'm sorry!" The words are abnormally loud, and Ryo is just quiet. He's staring at Shige now like Shige has grown another head, and they look at each other for a moment.
"You're apologizing to me?"
Shige nods, staring at Ryo's bookcase. "I've been really stubborn. I know you were trying to apologize to me and that you didn't mean to...you know." Shige waves his hands before finally looking at Ryo. "Sorry I was so stubborn and didn't accept your apologies, Ryo-chan."
Shige bows his head a little and when he lifts it, Ryo is closer and peering at him curiously. He makes a face and sighs loudly as though he is about to do something he is not particularly sure about.
"Well," Ryo huffs. "I didn't know you hated caterpillars that much. I didn't know it was like some sort of a phobia." Now Ryo is looking off vaguely toward the window over Shige's shoulder with a grumbly look on his face.
"I thought I made it obvious," Shige states. "I mean, I wrote about it and I even talked about it on the radioshow!"
"It seemed like just a thing you say," Ryo says with a frown. "You know, for the fans. You had your 'cat' talk about it, Shige. How was I supposed to know?"
Shige sighs in frustration and throws up his hands. "I don't know! You just should. Or not. Whatever." When did this get so confusing, Shige wonders.
Shige sees a muscle move in Ryo's jaw as he presses his teeth together and nods sharply before bowing his head.
"I'm sorry, Shige, about the caterpillar prank. I didn't mean to upset you. I hope you can forgive me."
Shige is is stunned. He doesn't know how to react, what to say or to do and Ryo -- Ryo -- has his head lowered before him. Shige starts to react in a panicked sort of way when Ryo doesn't lift his head right away.
"Get up!" he stammers. "Ryo! You don't. Stop, it's okay. You don't have to. Just...UP!" Shige's hands are clumsy as they touch Ryo's shoulders and pull him up and push him back all at once.
And that is how Shige finds himself hovering on top of Ryo, hands planted on either side of him (one half-on his shoulder and the other half-under his neck), on Ryo's very plain, very ordinary beige-colored sofa.
They stare at each other in yet another moment of great awkwardness between the two of them. As he looks down at Ryo, Shige thinks about checking his watch, wondering just what time it's getting to be, when Ryo decides to speak.
"Well, fuck," he states and yanks Shige down by his shirt. Shige thinks he hears the fabric tear and he would frown, but he is seeing stars from his nose bashing against Ryo's. He ends up distracted from that, though, because their teeth and mouths are mashed in such a painfully pleasant way.
"OW!" he exclaims eloquently, somewhere in the viscinity of Ryo's canines. He feels his eyes well up with tears, but that is quickly dismissed for the much more interesting sensation of Ryo's very warm lips on his own. He opens his mouth slightly, at the same time as Ryo has decided to close his.
"OW!" This time, it's Ryo.
"You're terrible at this," Ryo declares.
"Why does this have to be so difficult?" Shige complains. "Why are you so awkward?"
Ryo smiles at him and Shige has to admit to himself that it is a nice smile. "It's not that hard, Shige. Don't be so uptight."
Shige smiles back and kisses Ryo. And, just for a little while, Shige forgets to think too hard about it.