Gift fic for devetir
To: devetir
From: acchikocchi
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Title: One Thousand and One Tokyo Nights
Pairing/Group: Jin/Yamapi
Rating: PG
Warnings: Rampant silliness.
Notes: Thanks to M for the lookover. Dearest recipients: hope this makes you smile. :)
Summary: On road trips it's Yamapi's job to entertain the driver.
Long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away -
"Piiii."
"What?"
"You did Star Wars last time."
"Stop whining, it's a classic. Besides, I thought you said Han was cool."
"Cool? Han is awesome - hey! No cheating!"
"Only you would call that cheating, Bakani - "
"That's it, no more Star Wars. Now you have to do something new, or you drive and I do the entertainment."
"Hey!"
"And there are probably lots of switchbacks coming up. Narrow, one lane switchbacks."
"Talk about cheating. You know what you are, Akanishi, is a slavedriver."
"Takes one to know one."
"That doesn't even make any sense!"
"Shut up and tell me a story, passenger!"
Once upon a time, in a far away land, there lived a poor little orphan boy named Tomo. Tomo was so skinny and undernourished that you could count his ribs - not because he wasn't eating properly, ahem, but because he was a slave. And not just any slave, but a slave to evil Lord Akanishi, the most terrifying overlord in the whole kingdom. Every day Tomo was forced to work in the salt mines for fourteen hours, with only a single break to eat a pitiful helping of gruel at midday . Then after that Lord Akanishi made Tomo come inside and and tell him a bedtime story, because the truth was that evil Lord Akanishi, at the mature age of twenty-four, was scared of the dark -
" - augh stop you're going off the road!"
"Then stop wriggling and let me hit you I'll give you afraid of the dark - "
"Stoppit stoppit okay fine fine Lord Akanishi wasn't scared of anything, not even ghosts - "
- and in fact was so brave that he was named the king's heir and he set Tomo free and they became best friends and lived happily ever after. Moving on.
The next kingdom over was much more interesting. This kingdom was on the ocean, and was named... Oceania. Shut up, Jin. The prince of the kingdom, Prince Ryo, had just come of age and his parents were encouraging him to choose a bride. Prince Ryo, however, was much more interested in sailing and hunting with his friends and bickering with the enchanted mirror in the castle basement, which had been the victim of a spell gone badly wrong and now preferred to insult the beholder rather than discuss the fairest in the land.
"Is this whole story going to be about Ryo?"
"No, you're going to show up soon, shh."
"I don't know if I can listen to Ryo's epic romance without getting carsick."
"Be quiet and listen and you'll see."
Anyway. Prince Ryo made a deal with the king and queen: he would embark on a long sea journey to see the world with his trusted companions Uchi the Secretly Vicious and Yoko the Also Vicious But Not At All Secret About It, along with his beloved pet collie Koyama. In exchange, when he returned he would begin to search for a maiden to marry. Prince Ryo's journey was long and filled with many great hazards, including but not limited to the Straits of - Straightness, hahahahaha, Ryo would definitely be in trouble there. Hee hee. What are you talking about, that's not a giggle, it's a manly laugh. Where were we?
Oh yes, Prince Ryo met with many hazards, such as the Straits of, um, Shipmates and Trusted Companions Who Steal Your Hair Products and the Maelstrom of Bad Time Management When You're Starring In A Drama. He faced down monsters such as the tiny fanged demon army of Heysay and the twisted, writhing, many-legged creature Arashi without flinching. And many other things that I don't have the energy to make up and anyway are not relevant to the plot. All in all, Prince Ryo saw many astonishing sights and didn't do anything stupid to bring shame on his family and at last was ready to return home and assume his duties as heir.
But on the homeward journey, a storm blew up. And not just any storm, but a storm of epic proportions. A colossal storm. A tempest. (That means a big storm. I don't need a thesaurus, thank you very much, just because you can't speak your own native language - okay, okay.) Thunder rolled and lightning flashed! The ship pitched to and fro on the waves! Then disaster struck: on one particularly sudden heave, Prince Ryo lost his balance, was thrown over the rail, and disappeared into the frothing sea.
Fortunately, help was at hand, for a young and impressionable mermaid princess had been following the ship. The princess, barely sixteen, frequently risked her father's wrath to venture above the water and see the exotic world on the surface. On one such trip she had seen the ship and, being a little more curious than was really good for her sometimes, quickly pulled herself up the side to catch a glimpse of a real live human.
Prince Ryo was quite striking, with imperious, classical features and thick raven hair - oh, stop gagging. He was extremely good-looking, is what I'm trying to say. Which is why Princess Jinko was smitten at first si -
"I SAID KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD!"
"YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT IN BLOOD DO YOU HEAR ME YAMASHITA I WILL MAKE YOU BLEED WITH MY BARE HANDS - "
"LET GO OF ME - NO, JIN, LOOK OUT LOOK OUT - "
--
"Well. That wasn't too bad."
"That was not - oh my god. I just saw my whole life flash before my eyes. And you know what my last thoughts were? 'I'm going to die, and I didn't even get a last meal.'"
"We could... stop for lunch?"
"That's not exactly the point! The point was that I was about to die! I can see the headlines now: 'Beloved Young Idol Killed In Tragic Car Crash: Driver And Best Friend Superficially Wounded, Burdened With Guilt For The Rest Of His Miserable Life."
"...sorry."
"Don't give me those sad eyes. I am made of stone. Hard, stone-like stone."
"Really. Sorry."
"...well. If you're sorry. I guess it'll be okay. Bakanishi."
"..."
"..."
"...so are we going to go back to the story?"
"You are so lucky we're best friends."
As you can see, fairy tale kingdoms are dangerous places. The storm swallowed both Prince Ryo and the Unnamed Mermaid Princess and they were never heard from again. So our next story begins in a city called Tokyo.
Once upon a time in Tokyo, there were two boys named Jin and Tomohisa. Only no one called Tomohisa by his name, thanks to his fairy godmother Takki, who had given eleven-year-old Tomohisa a nickname that no one seemed to forget, ever, even when Tomohisa grew up, ahem. So the two boys were usually called Jin and Yamapi.
Jin and Yamapi were best friends from the moment they met. They did everything together, from dyeing their hair to getting their navels pierced. The only difference was that Yamapi was a nice young man who still went to school while Jin was a juvenile delinquent. I mean, he played one on TV! Jin had no time to keep going to school because he was busy playing a juvenile delinquent on TV.
Everyone knew they were inseparable, and Yamapi naively thought that would never change. Little did he know what was in store.
One day as Yamapi was headed to the bakery, thinking happily of sponge cake with strawberries and chocolate eclairs and cream puffs and little fruit tarts and maybe next door there would be a Korean barbecue place, mmm...
"Are you sure you don't want to stop for lunch?"
"Huh? Oh. Uh, maybe. No, no, it's fine, we've got lots of snacks. Let's see, chips, chocolate, pudding cups, more chips, curry bread, melon bread, Rakubeji, dried squid, olives - olives? This obsession of yours is sick, Jin - dried plum, and - I think this is more chocolate. It's kind of squishy. Mm, curry bread. Want anything?"
"Just give me a bite of yours?"
"Say 'ah.'"
"Ahhhh - mmf."
"So where were we? Bakery, right."
One day as Yamapi was headed to the bakery, a tall, dark stranger appeared in the middle of the sidewalk and beckoned Yamapi into a nearby alley. Yamapi, being a trusting sort of boy, followed.
"Tomohisa," the stranger said in a deep voice.
"How do you know my real name?" Yamapi gasped.
"I know everything about you," said the stranger. "For example, I know that your best friend is a young man named Akanishi Jin."
"Well, yes," said Yamapi, "but everyone knows that. We like to talk about that in magazines, it's not exactly a secret."
The stranger ignored him. "I have come to give you a warning, Tomohisa. Your friend is in grave danger! Even as we speak he is being approached by a powerful creature like none we've ever seen, one who is determined to capture him and steal his soul. It is up to you to save your friend, before the next full moon!"
"The next full moon? Or what, we'll turn into merwolves?"
"...werewolves, Jin."
"No, no, wait, wouldn't that be cool? Wolves that live in the ocean! Merwolves, the fanged terrors of the deep! Don't let your children go swimming alone - "
"No one is turning into wolves, were-, mer-, or otherwise. Now shh."
"But that's only in two weeks! What will happen if I don't?" asked Yamapi, sure it wasn't something stupid like turning into werewolves. Or merwolves.
"Your friend will be caught completely in her thrall and will be lost to you forever!"
Yamapi gasped. "Oh no! Even though he's always interrupting me with pointless comments I wouldn't want him to disappear forever! What should I do?"
"I am forbidden from telling you exactly what is necessary," the man said. "I can only tell you this: when the time comes, you will know."
"That sounds so much more reassuring in movies," Yamapi said.
"Most things do," the man agreed. "I must go now - but remember what I said. Before the next full moon!"
"Wait!" said Yamapi. "Where can I find you if I need help?"
"Well," said the man, "I'm generally very busy, but you can leave a message with my manager. Here's my card." He handed a shiny gold card to Yamapi and, with a swirl of his long white coat, disappeared.
Yamapi looked down at the card. His mouth fell open. Kimura Takuya? Surely this wasn't the famous Kimutaku, superstar idol by day and supernatural crime fighter by night?
There was no time to wonder. He had to find Jin before it was too late!
"Just a minute, my throat's starting to hurt."
"I can't believe you actually drink that stuff."
"It would be false advertising otherwise. Yum."
"...Do you think Kimutaku really fights crime?"
"You never know, do you?"
"Because that would be awesome."
Yamapi had forgotten all about the bakery - that was how important his best friend was to him. Hopefully Jin appreciated that, ahem. He immediately tried calling Jin's cell phone, but there was no answer. Yamapi told himself there was no reason to be worried, but he couldn't help imagining all sorts of horrific scenarios in which Jin was attacked by a vampire, drained of all his blood, and left in a back alley to die alone. (Stop whimpering, Akanishi.) He decided to distract himself by stopping by his favorite ramen shop while he waited for Jin to call him back. Besides, everyone knew food helps your brain work -- maybe he'd be struck with a solution.
He almost couldn't believe his luck when he saw Jin standing at the counter.
Jin's face lit up. "Pi!" said Jin happily. "Just who I wanted to see!"
"Jin!" said Yamapi. "I have to warn you! There's - "
That was when he noticed the girl standing next to Jin. The pretty, model-like girl standing next to Jin. She beamed at him and Yamapi felt a cold chill run down his spine.
"This is Nishiyama Maki," said Jin.
"...Pi."
"What?"
"She was a friend, okay. A nice friend."
"I have no idea what you're talking about. This story is totally, one hundred percent fiction anyway. Come on, did you really think Kimutaku has ever set foot in a dark alley? No way! So obviously it's made up."
"Uh-huh."
Nishiyama Maki smiled innocently. Yamapi was not fooled.
"Jin," he said, "can I talk to you for a minute? In private?"
Jin furrowed his brow. He often looked confused, but it was cute enough that no one pointed it. "Sure," he said. "Just a minute, Maki."
Yamapi pulled Jin to the other side of the room. Before Jin could ask what was wrong, Yamapi said, "Listen, Jin, the strangest thing happened today," and proceeded to tell him all about the mysterious stranger.
"...and if I don't save you she's going to suck out your soul." Yamapi looked at Jin expectantly, waiting for him to make the connection.
Jin burst out laughing.
"Jin, this is serious! We'll never see each other again!"
"You just woke up, didn't you?" said Jin. "You totally fell asleep on the train again and dreamed this whole thing."
"Listen to me!" Yamapi cried. "You're in danger!"
"Danger is my middle name," Jin said, and waggled his eyebrows, which made him look stupid and not sexy like he thought. "I'd better go back or Maki will think I'm being rude. We're going to go grab something to eat next, want to come?"
"I'm busy," Yamapi said frostily, and went home.
Fortunately, Yamapi never sulked, or he probably would have done so all evening. Instead, he watched 24 and plotted. Obviously, he had only been warned just in time - Jin was already falling into her clutches. He would have to be subtle. He would have to be stealthy. He couldn't let on that he knew what he did.
He called Jin bright and early the next day.
"Hi, Jin," Yamapi said in answer to Jin's customary morning greeting of "Grmhrzg?" "When's your next day off?"
"Todnnngh."
"What was that?"
"Today please let me go back to sleep."
"Really?" Yamapi blinked.
"I was going to tell you yesterday but you were telling me about the alley or whatever and I forgot, and then you left early." Jin yawned. "Anyway, I said I'd drive Maki and a couple of her friends to the beach - "
Yamapi's mouth dropped open. He always went to the beach with Jin.
" - you're coming, right?" Jin finished, which mollified Yamapi a little, even as he realized he couldn't go himself.
"I have work," he said. "Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?"
"Um... work, I think. We have filming. Or something. I don't know. Can we talk when I'm awake?" Jin pleaded.
"Okay, okay, sorry. I'll see you later. Bye."
Yamapi fumed. Nishiyama worked even faster than he had anticipated. What was he supposed to do next?
Jin did indeed have work the next day. Yamapi had work the day after that. Saturday they were both free, but their other friend Yuu had invited them over for a barbecue and while there was no sign of Nishiyama, it didn't give Yamapi many opportunities to corner Jin and figure out what exactly it was he was supposed to do to save him.
It was a delicious barbecue, though.
As the days passed, Yamapi grew more and more desperate. Whenever Jin was free, Yamapi was busy, and whenever Yamapi was free, Jin was busy - with work, or with his family, or with his dog, or with his friends (which Yamapi was certain meant Nishiyama Maki), and meanwhile, the full moon drew closer and closer.
Finally, the day before the full moon, Yamapi called Jin and tried to tell him the truth again.
"I know you don't believe me, but this serious," Yamapi finished. "This is your last chance. You have to meet with me today - alone. If I can't figure out what to do we'll never see each other again.
When Jin spoke, he sounded angry - much angrier than he should have been with a best friend who was trying to save his life. "Are you seriously giving me an ultimatum? What the hell?"
"I'm trying to help you!"
"You're being an asshole!"
"Fine," Yamapi shouted, "I'll let her take your soul and then we'll see who's sorry when you never see me again!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
Yamapi punched the off button and threw his phone across the room, where it landed harmlessly in a pile of clothes. Then instead of breaking something, like he really, really wanted to, he curled up on his bed and sulked, something he'd never done before.
About half an hour later, his doorbell rang.
Yamapi was so well brought up it didn't even occur to him not to answer it, unlike some people who like to skulk around their apartment not answering the door when they're in a bad mood even when their best friend has come over to cheer them up.
Jin was standing outside.
"What," Yamapi said grudgingly.
"Pi," Jin said in his this-is-serious-no-really voice, the type of voice he used to break news like, "And by the way, I'm running off to America for half a year." Yamapi waited for the axe to fall.
Instead Jin said, "Are you okay?"
Yamapi looked at Jin's stupid face, all furrowed with concern. His stupid dark hair was all over the place and his stupid dark eyes were worried.
And suddenly Yamapi knew what to do.
He leaned in and kissed Jin right on his stupid mouth.
Jin made a funny little sound but Yamapi wasn't going to take any chances. He kept kissing him.
And kissing him.
And kissing him.
By the time they had to take a breather, Yamapi had almost forgotten why they were kissing in the first place. Not that he was complaining. Oh, no.
"Wow," Jin gasped.
"Did that work?" asked Yamapi anxiously. "Are you free yet?"
"How many times do I have to tell you," said Jin, "Maki's my friend. I swear, you'd like her if you gave her a chance."
"I never like your female friends," said Yamapi. He frowned. “Oh. Huh.” He shook his head. “You’re clearly not all the way there yet. Okay, come here."
Jin rolled his eyes but wasn't exactly slow to comply.
"How about now?" said Yamapi breathlessly, after several more minutes.
"You could have just told me, you know," said Jin. "You didn't have to make up a big story."
Yamapi was in a good mood so he felt that he could afford to be generous. Besides, Jin was smiling at him, and it made him feel very kindly to the world in general.
"If it all turns out okay in the end, it doesn't really matter how it happened, right?"
"I guess so," said Jin, and kissed him again.
"Huh. Funny, that's... surprisingly similar to what I remember."
"The mind can play tricks on you. Especially your mind. Bakanishi. - ouch."
"Well, I heard somewhere that if it all turns out okay in the end, it doesn't really matter how it happened. Hey, look, a scenic overlook. Want to pull over?"
"Don't you always say scenic overlooks are just for making - ohhh."
"And you say I'm slow? Get over here."
And they lived happily ever after.
From: acchikocchi
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Title: One Thousand and One Tokyo Nights
Pairing/Group: Jin/Yamapi
Rating: PG
Warnings: Rampant silliness.
Notes: Thanks to M for the lookover. Dearest recipients: hope this makes you smile. :)
Summary: On road trips it's Yamapi's job to entertain the driver.
Long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away -
"Piiii."
"What?"
"You did Star Wars last time."
"Stop whining, it's a classic. Besides, I thought you said Han was cool."
"Cool? Han is awesome - hey! No cheating!"
"Only you would call that cheating, Bakani - "
"That's it, no more Star Wars. Now you have to do something new, or you drive and I do the entertainment."
"Hey!"
"And there are probably lots of switchbacks coming up. Narrow, one lane switchbacks."
"Talk about cheating. You know what you are, Akanishi, is a slavedriver."
"Takes one to know one."
"That doesn't even make any sense!"
"Shut up and tell me a story, passenger!"
Once upon a time, in a far away land, there lived a poor little orphan boy named Tomo. Tomo was so skinny and undernourished that you could count his ribs - not because he wasn't eating properly, ahem, but because he was a slave. And not just any slave, but a slave to evil Lord Akanishi, the most terrifying overlord in the whole kingdom. Every day Tomo was forced to work in the salt mines for fourteen hours, with only a single break to eat a pitiful helping of gruel at midday . Then after that Lord Akanishi made Tomo come inside and and tell him a bedtime story, because the truth was that evil Lord Akanishi, at the mature age of twenty-four, was scared of the dark -
" - augh stop you're going off the road!"
"Then stop wriggling and let me hit you I'll give you afraid of the dark - "
"Stoppit stoppit okay fine fine Lord Akanishi wasn't scared of anything, not even ghosts - "
- and in fact was so brave that he was named the king's heir and he set Tomo free and they became best friends and lived happily ever after. Moving on.
The next kingdom over was much more interesting. This kingdom was on the ocean, and was named... Oceania. Shut up, Jin. The prince of the kingdom, Prince Ryo, had just come of age and his parents were encouraging him to choose a bride. Prince Ryo, however, was much more interested in sailing and hunting with his friends and bickering with the enchanted mirror in the castle basement, which had been the victim of a spell gone badly wrong and now preferred to insult the beholder rather than discuss the fairest in the land.
"Is this whole story going to be about Ryo?"
"No, you're going to show up soon, shh."
"I don't know if I can listen to Ryo's epic romance without getting carsick."
"Be quiet and listen and you'll see."
Anyway. Prince Ryo made a deal with the king and queen: he would embark on a long sea journey to see the world with his trusted companions Uchi the Secretly Vicious and Yoko the Also Vicious But Not At All Secret About It, along with his beloved pet collie Koyama. In exchange, when he returned he would begin to search for a maiden to marry. Prince Ryo's journey was long and filled with many great hazards, including but not limited to the Straits of - Straightness, hahahahaha, Ryo would definitely be in trouble there. Hee hee. What are you talking about, that's not a giggle, it's a manly laugh. Where were we?
Oh yes, Prince Ryo met with many hazards, such as the Straits of, um, Shipmates and Trusted Companions Who Steal Your Hair Products and the Maelstrom of Bad Time Management When You're Starring In A Drama. He faced down monsters such as the tiny fanged demon army of Heysay and the twisted, writhing, many-legged creature Arashi without flinching. And many other things that I don't have the energy to make up and anyway are not relevant to the plot. All in all, Prince Ryo saw many astonishing sights and didn't do anything stupid to bring shame on his family and at last was ready to return home and assume his duties as heir.
But on the homeward journey, a storm blew up. And not just any storm, but a storm of epic proportions. A colossal storm. A tempest. (That means a big storm. I don't need a thesaurus, thank you very much, just because you can't speak your own native language - okay, okay.) Thunder rolled and lightning flashed! The ship pitched to and fro on the waves! Then disaster struck: on one particularly sudden heave, Prince Ryo lost his balance, was thrown over the rail, and disappeared into the frothing sea.
Fortunately, help was at hand, for a young and impressionable mermaid princess had been following the ship. The princess, barely sixteen, frequently risked her father's wrath to venture above the water and see the exotic world on the surface. On one such trip she had seen the ship and, being a little more curious than was really good for her sometimes, quickly pulled herself up the side to catch a glimpse of a real live human.
Prince Ryo was quite striking, with imperious, classical features and thick raven hair - oh, stop gagging. He was extremely good-looking, is what I'm trying to say. Which is why Princess Jinko was smitten at first si -
"I SAID KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD!"
"YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT IN BLOOD DO YOU HEAR ME YAMASHITA I WILL MAKE YOU BLEED WITH MY BARE HANDS - "
"LET GO OF ME - NO, JIN, LOOK OUT LOOK OUT - "
--
"Well. That wasn't too bad."
"That was not - oh my god. I just saw my whole life flash before my eyes. And you know what my last thoughts were? 'I'm going to die, and I didn't even get a last meal.'"
"We could... stop for lunch?"
"That's not exactly the point! The point was that I was about to die! I can see the headlines now: 'Beloved Young Idol Killed In Tragic Car Crash: Driver And Best Friend Superficially Wounded, Burdened With Guilt For The Rest Of His Miserable Life."
"...sorry."
"Don't give me those sad eyes. I am made of stone. Hard, stone-like stone."
"Really. Sorry."
"...well. If you're sorry. I guess it'll be okay. Bakanishi."
"..."
"..."
"...so are we going to go back to the story?"
"You are so lucky we're best friends."
As you can see, fairy tale kingdoms are dangerous places. The storm swallowed both Prince Ryo and the Unnamed Mermaid Princess and they were never heard from again. So our next story begins in a city called Tokyo.
Once upon a time in Tokyo, there were two boys named Jin and Tomohisa. Only no one called Tomohisa by his name, thanks to his fairy godmother Takki, who had given eleven-year-old Tomohisa a nickname that no one seemed to forget, ever, even when Tomohisa grew up, ahem. So the two boys were usually called Jin and Yamapi.
Jin and Yamapi were best friends from the moment they met. They did everything together, from dyeing their hair to getting their navels pierced. The only difference was that Yamapi was a nice young man who still went to school while Jin was a juvenile delinquent. I mean, he played one on TV! Jin had no time to keep going to school because he was busy playing a juvenile delinquent on TV.
Everyone knew they were inseparable, and Yamapi naively thought that would never change. Little did he know what was in store.
One day as Yamapi was headed to the bakery, thinking happily of sponge cake with strawberries and chocolate eclairs and cream puffs and little fruit tarts and maybe next door there would be a Korean barbecue place, mmm...
"Are you sure you don't want to stop for lunch?"
"Huh? Oh. Uh, maybe. No, no, it's fine, we've got lots of snacks. Let's see, chips, chocolate, pudding cups, more chips, curry bread, melon bread, Rakubeji, dried squid, olives - olives? This obsession of yours is sick, Jin - dried plum, and - I think this is more chocolate. It's kind of squishy. Mm, curry bread. Want anything?"
"Just give me a bite of yours?"
"Say 'ah.'"
"Ahhhh - mmf."
"So where were we? Bakery, right."
One day as Yamapi was headed to the bakery, a tall, dark stranger appeared in the middle of the sidewalk and beckoned Yamapi into a nearby alley. Yamapi, being a trusting sort of boy, followed.
"Tomohisa," the stranger said in a deep voice.
"How do you know my real name?" Yamapi gasped.
"I know everything about you," said the stranger. "For example, I know that your best friend is a young man named Akanishi Jin."
"Well, yes," said Yamapi, "but everyone knows that. We like to talk about that in magazines, it's not exactly a secret."
The stranger ignored him. "I have come to give you a warning, Tomohisa. Your friend is in grave danger! Even as we speak he is being approached by a powerful creature like none we've ever seen, one who is determined to capture him and steal his soul. It is up to you to save your friend, before the next full moon!"
"The next full moon? Or what, we'll turn into merwolves?"
"...werewolves, Jin."
"No, no, wait, wouldn't that be cool? Wolves that live in the ocean! Merwolves, the fanged terrors of the deep! Don't let your children go swimming alone - "
"No one is turning into wolves, were-, mer-, or otherwise. Now shh."
"But that's only in two weeks! What will happen if I don't?" asked Yamapi, sure it wasn't something stupid like turning into werewolves. Or merwolves.
"Your friend will be caught completely in her thrall and will be lost to you forever!"
Yamapi gasped. "Oh no! Even though he's always interrupting me with pointless comments I wouldn't want him to disappear forever! What should I do?"
"I am forbidden from telling you exactly what is necessary," the man said. "I can only tell you this: when the time comes, you will know."
"That sounds so much more reassuring in movies," Yamapi said.
"Most things do," the man agreed. "I must go now - but remember what I said. Before the next full moon!"
"Wait!" said Yamapi. "Where can I find you if I need help?"
"Well," said the man, "I'm generally very busy, but you can leave a message with my manager. Here's my card." He handed a shiny gold card to Yamapi and, with a swirl of his long white coat, disappeared.
Yamapi looked down at the card. His mouth fell open. Kimura Takuya? Surely this wasn't the famous Kimutaku, superstar idol by day and supernatural crime fighter by night?
There was no time to wonder. He had to find Jin before it was too late!
"Just a minute, my throat's starting to hurt."
"I can't believe you actually drink that stuff."
"It would be false advertising otherwise. Yum."
"...Do you think Kimutaku really fights crime?"
"You never know, do you?"
"Because that would be awesome."
Yamapi had forgotten all about the bakery - that was how important his best friend was to him. Hopefully Jin appreciated that, ahem. He immediately tried calling Jin's cell phone, but there was no answer. Yamapi told himself there was no reason to be worried, but he couldn't help imagining all sorts of horrific scenarios in which Jin was attacked by a vampire, drained of all his blood, and left in a back alley to die alone. (Stop whimpering, Akanishi.) He decided to distract himself by stopping by his favorite ramen shop while he waited for Jin to call him back. Besides, everyone knew food helps your brain work -- maybe he'd be struck with a solution.
He almost couldn't believe his luck when he saw Jin standing at the counter.
Jin's face lit up. "Pi!" said Jin happily. "Just who I wanted to see!"
"Jin!" said Yamapi. "I have to warn you! There's - "
That was when he noticed the girl standing next to Jin. The pretty, model-like girl standing next to Jin. She beamed at him and Yamapi felt a cold chill run down his spine.
"This is Nishiyama Maki," said Jin.
"...Pi."
"What?"
"She was a friend, okay. A nice friend."
"I have no idea what you're talking about. This story is totally, one hundred percent fiction anyway. Come on, did you really think Kimutaku has ever set foot in a dark alley? No way! So obviously it's made up."
"Uh-huh."
Nishiyama Maki smiled innocently. Yamapi was not fooled.
"Jin," he said, "can I talk to you for a minute? In private?"
Jin furrowed his brow. He often looked confused, but it was cute enough that no one pointed it. "Sure," he said. "Just a minute, Maki."
Yamapi pulled Jin to the other side of the room. Before Jin could ask what was wrong, Yamapi said, "Listen, Jin, the strangest thing happened today," and proceeded to tell him all about the mysterious stranger.
"...and if I don't save you she's going to suck out your soul." Yamapi looked at Jin expectantly, waiting for him to make the connection.
Jin burst out laughing.
"Jin, this is serious! We'll never see each other again!"
"You just woke up, didn't you?" said Jin. "You totally fell asleep on the train again and dreamed this whole thing."
"Listen to me!" Yamapi cried. "You're in danger!"
"Danger is my middle name," Jin said, and waggled his eyebrows, which made him look stupid and not sexy like he thought. "I'd better go back or Maki will think I'm being rude. We're going to go grab something to eat next, want to come?"
"I'm busy," Yamapi said frostily, and went home.
Fortunately, Yamapi never sulked, or he probably would have done so all evening. Instead, he watched 24 and plotted. Obviously, he had only been warned just in time - Jin was already falling into her clutches. He would have to be subtle. He would have to be stealthy. He couldn't let on that he knew what he did.
He called Jin bright and early the next day.
"Hi, Jin," Yamapi said in answer to Jin's customary morning greeting of "Grmhrzg?" "When's your next day off?"
"Todnnngh."
"What was that?"
"Today please let me go back to sleep."
"Really?" Yamapi blinked.
"I was going to tell you yesterday but you were telling me about the alley or whatever and I forgot, and then you left early." Jin yawned. "Anyway, I said I'd drive Maki and a couple of her friends to the beach - "
Yamapi's mouth dropped open. He always went to the beach with Jin.
" - you're coming, right?" Jin finished, which mollified Yamapi a little, even as he realized he couldn't go himself.
"I have work," he said. "Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?"
"Um... work, I think. We have filming. Or something. I don't know. Can we talk when I'm awake?" Jin pleaded.
"Okay, okay, sorry. I'll see you later. Bye."
Yamapi fumed. Nishiyama worked even faster than he had anticipated. What was he supposed to do next?
Jin did indeed have work the next day. Yamapi had work the day after that. Saturday they were both free, but their other friend Yuu had invited them over for a barbecue and while there was no sign of Nishiyama, it didn't give Yamapi many opportunities to corner Jin and figure out what exactly it was he was supposed to do to save him.
It was a delicious barbecue, though.
As the days passed, Yamapi grew more and more desperate. Whenever Jin was free, Yamapi was busy, and whenever Yamapi was free, Jin was busy - with work, or with his family, or with his dog, or with his friends (which Yamapi was certain meant Nishiyama Maki), and meanwhile, the full moon drew closer and closer.
Finally, the day before the full moon, Yamapi called Jin and tried to tell him the truth again.
"I know you don't believe me, but this serious," Yamapi finished. "This is your last chance. You have to meet with me today - alone. If I can't figure out what to do we'll never see each other again.
When Jin spoke, he sounded angry - much angrier than he should have been with a best friend who was trying to save his life. "Are you seriously giving me an ultimatum? What the hell?"
"I'm trying to help you!"
"You're being an asshole!"
"Fine," Yamapi shouted, "I'll let her take your soul and then we'll see who's sorry when you never see me again!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
Yamapi punched the off button and threw his phone across the room, where it landed harmlessly in a pile of clothes. Then instead of breaking something, like he really, really wanted to, he curled up on his bed and sulked, something he'd never done before.
About half an hour later, his doorbell rang.
Yamapi was so well brought up it didn't even occur to him not to answer it, unlike some people who like to skulk around their apartment not answering the door when they're in a bad mood even when their best friend has come over to cheer them up.
Jin was standing outside.
"What," Yamapi said grudgingly.
"Pi," Jin said in his this-is-serious-no-really voice, the type of voice he used to break news like, "And by the way, I'm running off to America for half a year." Yamapi waited for the axe to fall.
Instead Jin said, "Are you okay?"
Yamapi looked at Jin's stupid face, all furrowed with concern. His stupid dark hair was all over the place and his stupid dark eyes were worried.
And suddenly Yamapi knew what to do.
He leaned in and kissed Jin right on his stupid mouth.
Jin made a funny little sound but Yamapi wasn't going to take any chances. He kept kissing him.
And kissing him.
And kissing him.
By the time they had to take a breather, Yamapi had almost forgotten why they were kissing in the first place. Not that he was complaining. Oh, no.
"Wow," Jin gasped.
"Did that work?" asked Yamapi anxiously. "Are you free yet?"
"How many times do I have to tell you," said Jin, "Maki's my friend. I swear, you'd like her if you gave her a chance."
"I never like your female friends," said Yamapi. He frowned. “Oh. Huh.” He shook his head. “You’re clearly not all the way there yet. Okay, come here."
Jin rolled his eyes but wasn't exactly slow to comply.
"How about now?" said Yamapi breathlessly, after several more minutes.
"You could have just told me, you know," said Jin. "You didn't have to make up a big story."
Yamapi was in a good mood so he felt that he could afford to be generous. Besides, Jin was smiling at him, and it made him feel very kindly to the world in general.
"If it all turns out okay in the end, it doesn't really matter how it happened, right?"
"I guess so," said Jin, and kissed him again.
"Huh. Funny, that's... surprisingly similar to what I remember."
"The mind can play tricks on you. Especially your mind. Bakanishi. - ouch."
"Well, I heard somewhere that if it all turns out okay in the end, it doesn't really matter how it happened. Hey, look, a scenic overlook. Want to pull over?"
"Don't you always say scenic overlooks are just for making - ohhh."
"And you say I'm slow? Get over here."
And they lived happily ever after.