I'mma give it one more go on my own before I do something that drastic. I've battled with depression...most of my life at this point... You'd think I'd be used to it by now.
We love you too. I'm sure you'll find your passion at some point, and that passion will motivate you to complete whatever project you decide to take on.
I don't...know if I have one any more. I...really can't be bothered. And even the things that seem amazing and wonderful to me... I can't be bothered with.
It's like somewhere along the line I gave up on being able to care, and I never found out how to again.
My hair gets greasy but I can't be bothered to take a bath...the dishes all get dirty and I can't be bothered to eat because I'd have to wash something...people my age usually have a dream or a purpose they're working towards, I stay up all night on the internet because I don't have anything....
I'm...supposed to be doing something grand with my life, and...I don't care...I can't care...
More like I =do= care that I'm not doing it, but I don't actually care enough to DO it. Walking contradiction, I am.
Sometimes when I've been traveling, maybe hiking in South Island, New Zealand with Erik, or riding in a zodiac in Chile to look at a penguin island - I think to myself; I could be happy just exploring the world. Not writing stories or books about it, or photographing it for anyone other than myself, just enjoying life without any goal in mind.
I sometimes feel that way when I'm hiking with friends around here, or just petting our cats and listening to them purr, that I don't have to do anything.
Then my OCD kicks in and I'm back at work on some project. I think that's just the way I'm built.
I love you too, sweetie, so much. True friends don't have to say "I love you" all the time for it to be true.
You're always there for me, so I hope that you believe that I will be there for you too, whenever you need me.
Try not to be too hard on yourself, honey. I know all about the "dark moods" and how it can seem like a bottomless pit sometimes. It's natural, and as I've come to realize - an automatic effect of getting older and wiser. I don't have any recepie for 'getting better' og finding the way out, and sometimes staying where you are is just the way to go - eventually there will be light at the end of the tunnel. If not literally, then through friends and doing things you love to do.
I do believe in you, honey, you're a wonderful, beautiful person, and I'm happy and damn proud to be able to call you my friend. <3
Hi there! I've been offline (damned phone service) and then out of town until 11 p.m. tonight (12/30), so just reading this. I have no magnificent profundities to offer (;-P), but want you to know I have thought of you and wondered how you were doing.
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I'm glad to hear from you, too.
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Try not to be so hard on yourself.
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It's like somewhere along the line I gave up on being able to care, and I never found out how to again.
My hair gets greasy but I can't be bothered to take a bath...the dishes all get dirty and I can't be bothered to eat because I'd have to wash something...people my age usually have a dream or a purpose they're working towards, I stay up all night on the internet because I don't have anything....
I'm...supposed to be doing something grand with my life, and...I don't care...I can't care...
More like I =do= care that I'm not doing it, but I don't actually care enough to DO it. Walking contradiction, I am.
*shakes head* I'll go in circles if I keep going.
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I sometimes feel that way when I'm hiking with friends around here, or just petting our cats and listening to them purr, that I don't have to do anything.
Then my OCD kicks in and I'm back at work on some project. I think that's just the way I'm built.
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You're always there for me, so I hope that you believe that I will be there for you too, whenever you need me.
Try not to be too hard on yourself, honey. I know all about the "dark moods" and how it can seem like a bottomless pit sometimes. It's natural, and as I've come to realize - an automatic effect of getting older and wiser. I don't have any recepie for 'getting better' og finding the way out, and sometimes staying where you are is just the way to go - eventually there will be light at the end of the tunnel. If not literally, then through friends and doing things you love to do.
I do believe in you, honey, you're a wonderful, beautiful person, and I'm happy and damn proud to be able to call you my friend. <3
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How have you been?
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