Life, love, and damn I'm hot!
Today, I bought my halloween costume for the costume ball at "the church" this halloween, and man it looks hot. It's a more gothic, bondage version of the don julio phanton of the opera look. The only exception is I am using the white half face mask instead of the black one over the face. I just like it more I guess? =P.
Update on my school money, everything is turned in, they have reviewed everything, and predicted arrival of my award letter is next week. I imagine after I go and turn that in, it will still take about 2 weeks for them to recieve the money, process the loans, and sign my checks. So I'm not really expecting money for about another three weeks. My other roomates, however, have bank accounts in quad digits, bastards! Just kidding, I lovey my roomates long time!
I will definately try and post pictures or link to the pictures of my halloween costume asap. Lately been watching bleach, naruto, the new blood series, sex and the city, the new family guy, and home movies when wow is loading, waiting for people for a group, or otherwise go down, as deathwing sure does have a problem staying online sometimes. Yesterday, after going to see the movie "waiting..." Which was a DAMN good movie, it cracked everyone in the theater up, and just generally a badass movie. The pedophile is my hero of course o.O. Fancy that. But we also just generally got out of the house, which was interesting. Mannn my body hates the sunlight, HISSSSS.
Me and Mia are no longer friends. Apparently she has requirements to be her friend, and that's just not something I can't slap someone for and throw them off a cliff. I mean, meeting someone, you can't expect them to change for you. Apparently, to be her friend requires you to be out of the house everyday and hang out, dependent much? Apparently I was "too locked up in my apartment" to be considered her friend, and if I wasn't her friend, she never wanted to talk to me. Now, normally I would let this kind of ignorant and dumbass behavior slide, but I had to let her have it. Why you ask, I know I know. Not like she was worth it, just another 1/6th billionth of the world population that matters oh so much!
Anyways, a common concept if you truely know me, is that I am a sweet, kind, lovey dovey person to everyone EXCEPT ex-girlfriends. But even this rule has exceptions. There are some girls that I have dated, that I have wrong, instead of them wronging me. A perfect example of this is Kimberly. Kim was probably the best relationship I've ever had, and I just threw it away. She was the sweetest, most down to earth little girl ever. Even small and cute o.O. Our relationship was held together by love, and not lust. I can say that full heartedly, because we never slept together, or even tried. I respected her decision to wait until marriage, and I was totally fine with it. We would snuggle in my jeep under the stars, and just talk for hours. I even got along great with her nephews, cause we both watched cartoons, especially ZOIDS.
How did we end? Lust overcame me for another woman. Hormones ruined the relationship, and in such such a horrible way. I ended up dumping her for francesca. I still think about all of my exs from time to time. Some make me sick to my stomach, some make me rather depressed, and some I just shrug off. I've recently contemplated all of this in a conversation with stobber. Me and him have totally conflicting views, but in a sense, I used to be just like him. Stobber is just looking to settle down, just like I used to. I figured marriage would be the only real cure for my jealousy and lonliness issues. I don't know if stobber wants that, or just wants somebody to love =P. But I had it all wrong...
My issues were cured through self help, and I realized there are many many fish in the sea, so I get to be DAMNED picky about which ones I am gonna marry. Francesca was the last relationship I've ever really taken seriously and tried. I really thought I was going to marry her. She fit the part, minus the evil part of her apparently =p. She was cute, hot, and just generally fun to be around. She was a bitch, which is something I absolutely adore about girls, cause they can stand up to themselves, especially when it comes to other people. Sadly, this has been in few numbers when it comes to girls I have dated. Kim was the perfect one =P. She really would rip into people that did her wrong, which is totally weird coming from this sweet little conservative girl.
This brings me to my other major point, the way they dress. My favorite way for a girl to dress has usually been just a nicely fitting tshirt, and jeans. I'm far from a fan of girls that reveal it all, or leave little to the imagination. Meh. Now, to answer the most eternal question, who was the worst girl? THE absolute worst girl I've ever dated/sort of dated/tried to get with me? Ivy. WTF was up with that girl o.O. She always pretended to be single, but was so obviously still with her boyfriend it hurt. Then again, every cloud has it's silver lining. I loved her forwardness. She was straight to the point with what she wanted, and went for it. But why does that stick with me? Over cases like francesca where I totally got heart broken, or cindy where I was physically abused? Cause she cheated on her boyfriend so easily, and that made me sick. Definatley something I would never participate in, or ever want to be a part of.
Most girls that know me have always told me, Matt, you could have any girl you ever wanted. I dunno, I'm way to critical to ever just accept "anyone" though =P. There have been a few that really did get away. Like maria costa, at trinidad catholic. She the most beautiful girl I've ever had the pleasure to meet. She was down to earth, had a great smile, awesome facial structure, long wavey black hair, was straight edge about drugs and alcohol, small breasts, and loved to compete in sports, but hated to watch them. Sadly, during highschool, I was unable to talk to anyone, let alone someone that I had a crush on. But anyways, enough with what could have been. The phrase "any girl you want" is a sweet, thoughtful, and considerate phrase to make me feel better and stroke my e-peen, but still, totally inconcievable. =P. All girls look for different things. As do I. So it's always been kind of hard to make a match. I meet a lot of girls, through places like Hot Or Not, or the mall, and they are great, but girls that I just wouldn't date. And they take SUCH offense in only being friends. Meh.
Anyways, onwards to more important factors of life, like WoW. Been leveling my alts, 19 druid, 17 pally. They are both alliance, and man alliance quests and quest areas are much harder than horde, woah. But I do like alliance more than horde. They get easy mode! My 60 has just been instance running, instead of pvp, which has been kind of annoying. Haven't gotten ANYTHING I have wanted, and I still need one more gem in the worst dungeon in the entire game. Molten Core is something that my roomies have gotten into, but I hate that place with a burning passion. You just wait around like, 30 minutes infront of a boss discussing strategies, which really have no point. Why? Because no one ever listens. EVER. The people that know what they are doing, know what they are doing. Besides, PvE sucks, PvP forever!
Anyways, on a final note to this rather long entry, I just want to say even though there are some exs that I hate, that hurt me, I still hold no grudge, and it would be lovely to be friends, but every time I have tried, it was always ended up with them hating me, and never wanting to see me again, or I ruined their lives, blah blah blah. Same shit different girl. Me and francesca were going to try to be friends, but she met someone knew, and all of a sudden I became mr evil and someone she never wanted to see again. I never got back in contact with Kim, because there was no way I ever could. Me and hannah are on rather thin ice, ivy is someone that doesn't have contact with anyone =P. I rarely talk to amy (my ex one) anymore, beth? Not really, I tried for like, a couple of weeks, but then just gave up. But then again, me and her never really dated, soooooo, yea. Jessica doesn't seem to want to talk that often, she isn't on AIM very much either. The lesson learned from everything is life goes on. With or without someone, life still continues from day to day. That being said, it sure is nice to feel wanted by someone, BUT not in a sense where you just go around and sleep with people kind of way. That way, on the other hand, makes me sick.
"Grey would be the color, If I had a heart." - Something I Could Never Have, NIN