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[jeesh]

God I wish Zzquil tasted better.

I now take it every night. Puts me to sleep. So I don't have to lay in bed thinking for god knows how long. Crying.

Stay up the 20 mins or so it takes to set in with my parents while they get ready for bed. I'm sure they're sick of me hanging around. But I don't want to sit alone in my room. I can't even stand to have

Comments

[gabardinedreams]

I took gravol to help sleep after a bad breakup once. Good luck. It does get better.

[jeesh]

Thanks. I hope so. I wish it would hurry up and hurt less. But it isn't.
I just remembered the Instragram album on my Facebook and had to go through that and delete a bazillion photos of him/us. Trying not to cry at work. So damn painful seeing all the happiness.

[tinyvictories]

ugh ugh ugh, just reading this makes my heart go out to you. I know these feelings all too well, especially the being totally unable to be alone. Sending lots of hugs. <3

[jeesh]

Thank you. It's good that someone understands. It's really hard to go through this. Really hard.
I just can't stand being alone. I know I need to push myself to just do it. I can't keep bothering my parents. But fuck it's hard when I'm trying to fall asleep and my brain won't turn off. Hence why I'm taking the Zzquil. Makes me fall asleep faster. I try to take it like 20 mins before I know I'll be in bed so then I'll basically get horizontal and fall asleep. Thank god for zzquil.
<3

[tinyvictories]

It goes away. I had to stay at my parents' house for 3+ weeks after the Really Bad Breakup I went through. I literally could not be alone and even driving was hard; I had a hard time listening to music and had to get an audiobook to listen to when I couldn't call people on the phone. But then I moved into a new place (my lease was up & my ex had dumped me IN MY STUDIO APARTMENT so I felt like I had to start over) and got back to the point where I loved having time to myself and life was grand.

[jeesh]

Wow, that's definitely like what I'm going through. I don't want to listen to music, I've been putting on NPR when I'm in the car. And thank god I only have a 15 minute commute to and from work. But yeah, I basically have the tv on constantly. And I have netflix on my phone at work with my headphones. I can't stand the silence. I fall asleep with the tv on now, which I've never done before. But since the zzquil puts me out, I can fall asleep with the tv on.
I hope it starts getting easier. And I am so fucking glad I already lived at home. This would had been so much worse if we lived together. I can't even fathom how bad that would be.
*hugs*