Glee Fic: "Five Times" (1/2)
Title: Five Times Someone From New Directions Felt Up Mike Chang (And One Time it Was an Accident, Honest)
Author: jeffaplus
Fandom: Glee
Characters: MIKE CHANG, (spoilers follow!) Tina Cohen-Chang, Noah Puckerman, Rachel Berry, Blaine Anderson, Quinn Fabray, Kurt Hummel (+Ensemble). Kurt/Mike with hints of Kurt/Blaine/Mike/Tina. OT4!
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~6,000
Disclaimer: Glee is copyright to Fox; please don't sue. Um, please?
Summary: Mike doesn't really understand why this keeps happening to him, but then again, it's not like he really minds.
Spoilers: Through "Hold on to Sixteen". May be considered AU after that.
PDF Download: Click here
A/N: This is a present for Stacy, who has successfully survived finals week! I hope you like it. You are awesome and deserve all the awesome things! <3
1. Tina Cohen-Chang
When she kisses him, it's electric and fiery and everything he could have ever hoped for; there are hands, hands everywhere, hers at the back of his neck and his gripping her hips firmly; the touch of their lips is hungry yet somehow intimate, and Mike has to stop himself from sliding one of his hands down to grip her ass because he's just remembered that they're making out in front of a bunch of third graders.
"Tina," Mike gasps out and he breaks away from her, eyes dropping to where her lips are slightly swollen before he can help himself. He wipes his own lips with the back of his hand, panting heavily, as Tina finally looks away from him and back at the kids, who haven't really reacted except to pull out their cell phones and take pictures. Tina tosses her (now slightly mussed) hair behind her shoulders and attempts to regain control of the situation.
"And that, kids," she says with a tone of finality, "is how you put passion and experience into a song."
This attempt at salvaging the lesson is met with a stony silence; this actually cheers Mike up, though, because all of their lessons have been met with stony silence, so this one is faring no differently.
Tina clears her throat. "So, um, let's take it from the top, and Mike," she adds, her voice dropping low, "we'll pick this up later."
'Later' turns out to be behind the music cabin right after the kids have all filed out and they're left alone. Tina pushes him behind it, out of sight of the rest of the camp, and attacks his lips without a second thought, backing him into the wall of the cabin and making the wooden shingles dig into his back.
"Why - aren't you wearing - a shirt?" Tina whispers in between fast kisses.
"I was out swimming when they called me in - this is all I had time to throw on, oh," Mike gasps out as Tina moves from his lips to his neck, kissing and sucking hungrily. Mike throws his head back so that it hits the wall of the cabin, hard, and he doesn't even care.
"You can't expect someone to resist with your abs out in the open like that, oh my god, why didn't you zip up your jacket?" Tina breathes out against his neck, before going back to kissing and, now, biting.
"Good to know that it worked, then," MIke says, breath hitching as Tina has most definitely just left a hickey in his neck. At his words, though, she stops, wide-eyed, and looks back up at him.
"So all of this was just a clever ruse to get me to notice you?" Tina finally says at length. Her hands haven't moved from where they've come to rest on Mike's stomach; Mike can feel them there as he pants, out of breath from kissing.
"Uh… Maybe?"
Tina suddenly grins, her smile wide and infectious, and Mike resolves to make her do it more often. "I can live with that."
Mike smiles too, and goes back in for another kiss, but before he can reach her, Tina stops him. "Wait," she says, and Mike's heart sinks. He knew this was too good to be true -
"You said you'd just come in from swimming?" Tina asks, and Mike blinks, confused. Her hand trails very slowly down his stomach, ghosting over his abs.
"…Yes," Mike says, not following. But then again, Tina's hands moving like that made it really hard to concentrate.
"So… this is a bathing suit?" Tina asks, her hand having now reached his waistband. "As in, you're not wearing anything underneath?"
She dips her hand beneath the waistband before Mike has time to respond, and he gasps again as Tina smirks, looking very satisfied with her answer.
2. Noah Puckerman
Everything's a little blurred around the edges as Mike sits down next to Tina, laughing, after Rachel proclaims that they're about to play Spin the Bottle. The members of New Directions (plus Blaine) gather haphazardly in a sort-of circle, chattering excitedly amongst themselves. Mike turns to ask Tina what she'll do if she has to kiss a girl (it was her audition song and everything), but Tina's too busy giggling at …something… to respond. Mike notes that she's been doing that a lot ever since she started in on the booze.
On the other side of Mike, Puck sits down too, his drink spilling out slightly over the edges of his cup. Puck frowns and licks the side of the cup, which make Mike giggle just like Tina's doing. "You are so drunk."
"I'm not wasting any of this booze," Puck proclaims loudly, tilting his head up to announce it. This causes a bit of light to glance off of his large, oversized hipster glasses, which in turn causes Mike to dissolve into peals of laughter all over again. This lasts until he has the rather sobering (but not sobering enough) thought that he, much like Tina, is a Giggly Drunk.
"Tina, am I a Giggly Drunk?" Mike asks, because communication is important, but Tina's now talking to Mercedes and laughing too hard to respond. Frowning, Mike tries to lean into her, but since her body's still shaking with giggles, Mike slips and ends up on the floor. Mike sighs sadly. The floor isn't nearly as comfortable as Tina.
"C'mere, you," Puck grunts, and a hand grips his shoulder and pulls him up so that Mike is leaning into him instead. Mike sighs contentedly and burrows closer; Puck is a firm, solid weight against him and it's oddly soothing. Mike stretches his legs out and shifts, hand between his legs, not really paying attention to what he's doing.
They watch the game unconcernedly, wolf-whistling when Sam kisses Brittany and catcalling when Rachel's spin lands on Blaine. Then their kiss keeps on going, and going, and going, and Kurt looks completely uncomfortable as he tries to break them up and Santana is smirking and it's just so awkward that Mike has to chuckle. The motion of his stomach causes him to finally notice something.
"Puck," Mike points out, "your hand is on my crotch."
"Yeah, it is," Puck mutters, not even taking his eyes off the scene in front of them.
"Puck, why is your hand on my crotch?" Mike asks, disconcerted. He hasn't moved from where he's cuddling Puck, though, because a little arguing shouldn't ruin a good cuddle. Mike has always believed this, at least when he's drunk. Plus, it feels kind of good.
"You're hot, dude," Puck shrugs, his hand moving to wrap around Mike's shoulders again. "And I'm kind of a - well, Lauren called it a 'bisexual drunk', I think, but I'm just focused on gettin' some action wherever I can. And since Lauren isn't putting out, well…"
Mike blinked. "And… you're not worried that this will infuriate Lauren and, in turn, cause her to, you know, kill you."
"Dude," Puck whispered. "Who do you think suggested it?"
Mike looks over to where Lauren is sitting on Tina's other side; she's giving him a jaunty wave.
Mike groans and slides further down Puck's side. He hopes he doesn't remember this tomorrow.
3. Rachel Berry
"No, seriously, Mike," Rachel slurs as the entirety of New Directions stumbles off-stage, Mr. Schue's words ringing in their ears. "You're great. You're just, fantastic. I feel like no one tells you enough. Especially, especially me, because I don't."
"Okay, Rachel," Mike says kindly, patting her on the head. She's basically latched onto him again, and seriously, her grip is strong for someone so tiny. She has one hand on his shoulder and the other is lifting the fabric of his shirt carelessly; Mike raises his own hand and slowly pushes his shirt back down.
"No fair," Rachel pouts, bottom lip sticking out rather adorably. "I wanted to see. Tina talks about them all the time."
"Mike is more than just his abs, Rachel," Tina slurs as she comes up to stand beside them, glaring at her; she'd already had to pull her off Mike once. "Which I thought you knew, 'cause you were just talking about how great he is."
"No, no, no, I totally knew that," Rachel says, and somehow her grip is getting tighter, oh god. "Because he is. He's a phenomenal dancer and his productivity is unparalleled and he far surpasses his expected duties as a boyfriend, based on everything that you've been saying."
"You use big words I don't understand when I'm drunk," Sam says plaintively as he passes them. Santana shushes him, apparently not wanting Mr. Schue to find out they were actually inebriated. (Personally, Mike doesn't understand how he hasn't already figured it out.)
"You don't need to be telling me these things, Rachel," Tina says. "Also, get your hand off of my boyfriend's butt."
Mike's eyes widen as he realizes that that is indeed Rachel's hand slowly rubbing his ass. Caught in the act, Rachel flutters her eyelashes nervously, but doesn't move her hand just yet. "Sorry. It's just… tempting."
"I'm well aware," Tina says. "C'mon, Mike, we have to go think really hard about what Mr. Schue just said. And also probably make out in the astronomy classroom, because there's seriously never anybody in there."
Tina drags Mike out of Rachel's grip and slings his hand around her shoulders, and the two of them begin to stumble away. As they do, Tina's own hand travels to Mike's ass and gives it a firm slap. Mike jumps a little.
"Mine," says Tina possessively, then giggles as the two of them head off, leaving Rachel pouting behind them.
4. Quinn Fabray
Mike's in the bathroom cleaning off the latest slushy-to-the-face from Mullet Guy (seriously, what is his deal?) when he hears the door open. He doesn't give it a second thought as he sticks his hair back under the tap for another rinse, until he hears a slow, drawled "Hey, Mike," and he straightens up so fast he almost brains himself on the faucet.
"What - Quinn?" he gasps, staring in the mirror at the girl behind him. She looks a little like Quinn, but her hair is pink and she's dressed all in leather and she has on dark sunglasses indoors and a cigarette is dangling from her fingertips.
Quinn smirks. "The one and only." She takes a long drag off of her cigarette, the tip flaring orange, and regards him over the rims of her sunglasses, looking very unimpressed.
"…Why are you in the boys' bathroom?" Mike asks stupidly.
Quinn scoffs. "Please. Like anyone in charge at this school cares about who goes where." She's scooting closer to him now, her eyes glinting, and Mike wonders if he's about to die. "I know for a fact that Kurt spends more time in the girls' bathroom than he ever does in here."
"Because he says the tiles in here are disgusting - okay, seriously, Quinn -" Mike turns around and they almost bump knees because she's so close to him. Mike's hands come up to rest on her wrists, but Quinn doesn't move back.
"The Quinn you knew is gone," she drawls, cigarette dangling from her lips. "And you want to know the truth? I honestly don't miss her. This Quinn isn't afraid of getting what she wants."
"Good… to know," Mike says. "Personal bubble, Quinn."
"Why are you still hanging out with those losers, anyway?" Quinn asks, ignoring him. She's turned their hands over and now her fingers are idly tracing patterns into Mike's wrists. "You know they don't appreciate you. You've done nothing but mouth along in the background for two years. Boy, do I know what that's like." She laughs, bitterly.
"Because they're my friends, that's why," Mike says shortly. "And because I need them, and they need me."
"What, because of your dancing?" Quinn asks, a note of intrigue in her voice now. "You know, sometimes I wonder if everything Tina says really is true… she's mentioned that all that dancing you do has made you very… flexible…"
Her hands have left his, now; they're tracing along his chest, downward, and Mike gulps. "But then again," Quinn continues idly, "she's also been talking about something else…"
Suddenly her hands drop down to Mike's crotch, gripping firmly. Mike yelps and pushes her off, and Quinn laughs again, raising an eyebrow.
"Looks like Tina was telling the truth there, too." Her gaze meets his, a spark of mirth in her eyes. "Well done, Mike. Well done indeed."
She saunters out of the room casually, hips swinging as she walks, and the door swings shut behind her.
"That is all kinds of offensive," Mike says out loud to the empty restroom.
5. Blaine Anderson
Mike admits that he'd had his doubts back when Blaine had first joined New Directions. Tired cliché as it was, he hadn't wanted another Jesse on their hands - or another Rachel, because Finn had been complaining about how Blaine was a total solo-hog (pot, meet kettle, Mike thought sadly) back when he'd been with the Warblers, and Mike was not looking forward to more arguing about who got what in the group. He was glad Finn had ended up being dead wrong, though, because Blaine is awesome.
At the moment, the two of them are gathered in Kurt's living room, giggling to themselves as the stereo blasts "Last Friday Night" for the umpteenth time. Kurt and Tina have moved upstairs to do… something involving hair, Mike thinks, since he hadn't really been paying attention. All he knows is that Kurt had proclaimed (loudly) that he couldn't stand to listen to this song one more second and had forcibly grabbed Tina by the hand and dragged her out of the room. That makes Mike sad. No one should hate Katy Perry.
Oh, yeah, and also Mike is drunk. Again.
"To friday nights!" Blaine exclaims raising his beer bottle in the air, and Mike raises his too and toasts him, before downing the rest of his beer in one gulp. Mike makes a face.
"This tastes like licking the underside of a lawnmower," he says, pouting.
Blaine snorts. "You're such an elegant drunk," he says, wiggling his eyebrows. "At least it's doing its job, right?"
Mike has to agree with that. He tosses the bottle aside and lays back on the floor, stretching up his hands to rest them behind his head. Things around him seem to be spinning, but not unpleasantly. "So how are things with Kurt?" Mike asks from the floor.
Blaine sighs happily and lays down next to Mike. "Things are amazing," he says wistfully. "Kurt's just, he's just so great. He's the best boyfriend ever."
He blinks and peers upward to look at Mike. "And how's things with Tina?"
"Pretty awesome," Mike says, nodding. "Best girlfriend ever."
"We just, we just have the best partners in the whole glee club," Blaine slurs happily, rolling over onto his side so that he's closer to Mike. "And the hottest, too. Totally, totally the hottest."
"Won't argue with that," Mike agrees, not really paying attention to what he's saying. It seemed Blaine is, though, because he props himself up on an elbow to gaze down at Mike, eyebrows raised.
"Oh ho," Blaine says. "Does someone think Kurt is hot?"
"What do you - that's not what I meant," Mike protests, but his cheeks are burning and Blaine starts to laugh. "Hey, you think Tina's hot, don't you? That doesn't mean you want to, you know. Do stuff with her, or anything."
"I am… completely objective when it comes to girls," Blaine nods; the motion seems to be making him dizzy, but he doesn't stop. "But you're blushing. And that totally means you think Kurt is hot in the non-objective way." Blaine lowers himself down to the floor again; his mouth is now right next to Mike's ear. "Don't think I haven't noticed you checking him out."
"His sashay thing is just really distracting," Mike says, mostly to himself.
"Hey, I get it," Blaine replies, propping himself up again. "Kurt distracts me in glee all the time."
"It's nothing," Mike says, firmly. "It's just a stupid little crush that I've thought about sometimes. Tina's fine with it. She says it's adorable."
"Tina knows?" Blaine asks, giggling. "You two really, you really do tell each other everything. That's so cute. So have you, have you told her what exactly it is you want Kurt to do to you?"
"Blaine, I don't think -" Mike starts.
"Do you wanna spoon with him?" Blaine asks, not paying attention. "Spooning with Kurt is amazing, it really is."
"Blaine, that might be-" Mike tries again, but Blaine cuts him off once more.
"Or maybe you wanna be on top of him and the two of you are just slowly making out?" Blaine asks, drawing out the word. "Or, or maybe you want him to be on top, like - this?"
With that, Blaine rolls himself so that he's basically lying on top of Mike, their legs tangling together. Blaine's chest is warm against Mike's, rising and falling slowly with his breathing, and Mike's just sort of wondering how they got to this point.
"Blaine, this isn't a good -"
"Kurt gets handsy when we make out," Blaine says, happily. "His hands are everywhere - on my face, sometimes on my bicep, going down my chest -" As he names each action, Blaine demonstrates them on Mike; the resultant strokes send tingles across Mike's skin. "And sometimes, if he's feeling really adventurous-" And yup, that is definitely Blaine's hand on his crotch. Mike sighs. Why does this keep happening?
"Sometimes Kurt's hand just stays like that, for awhile," Blaine continues blissfully, apparently without the slightest clue that what he's doing could be considered weird. "Or sometimes, he moves his hand up and down and oh my god, you're hard."
Mike's reply is cut off by the sound of slow clapping. Slowly, almost afraid to do it, Mike cranes his head so that he's looking back at the staircase. He has an upside-view of a grinning Kurt and Tina, both of them clapping, looking thoroughly pleased with themselves.
"Told you this would happen if we left them alone," Tina says, looking smug.
"Kurt!" Blaine says happily, waving to him. "We were just talking about you!"
"Yes, Blaine, I'm well aware," Kurt responds, dryly. He doesn't seem upset, though, so maybe that's a good thing?
"How much of that did you see?" Mike asks, just to clarify.
"We walked in right when Blaine rolled on top of you," Tina says. "It was hot."
"I considered being angry, but I do know what Blaine's like when he's drunk," Kurt says, shrugging. "At least he has better taste now than the last time. The image of him and Rachel making out is forever burned into my retinas."
"You're never gonna let me forget that, are you?" Blaine asks.
Kurt grins. "Nope."
~1. Kurt Hummel