Miyagi and me
Hey I watched the Karate Kid the other night. want to read about it? So do I!
Imagine a young Julia Childs, maybe around the age of eight or nine watching her mother cook for the very first time. Julia’s young head is peering over the counter tops as Julia’s mother is cracking eggs into a mixing bowl, or dicing tomatoes on a wood cutting block. Now, Julia has seen her mother cook plenty times before, but this time it’s different, this time young Julia is actually paying attention, something has grabbed her imagination and shook it to it’s core; she’s watching her mother cook. This is the beginning of an obsession for young Julia. I imagine that this is how it started with my friend Teeners, but I’m not talking about cooking. I don’t know exactly where it started, or why, or how, but my friend Teeners has a serious Karate Kid obsession. I imagine Teeners, in her apartment, the television on to whatever station, and whatever station might just be showing the Karate Kid on a lazy Saturday afternoon. Teeners takes a break from vacuuming, and sits on the couch to smoke a cigarette, and to watch just a small bit of the movie, before changing the sheets on the bed; after all, the apartment certainly isn’t going to clean itself. But then something weird happens. A wash of nostalgia comes over her. She’s transported to a different time, a simpler time. She notices the simplicity of the movie: Daniel = good, Cobra Kai = bad. She wants Daniel to win, but dammit if Johnny isn’t sending a little tingle of excitement up her spine. The small flickering light of obsession is sparked.
I didn’t notice it at first. A couple of mentions of the Karate Kid here and there at work never really registered with me.
“I really think my car needs to be washed.” I’d say.
“Wax on, wax off.” She’d mumble under her breath.
“What?” I’d ask.
“Nothing.”
Eventually the obsession took over, and the Karate Kid became a part of Teeners everyday vernacular. She would compare her co-workers to the characters in the movie. She would dole out advice as if she were the one from Okinawa. And all this cumulated into her creating an online quiz: Which member of Cobra Kai are you?
http://quizilla.com/users/tinasoho/quizzes/Which%20Cobra%20Kai%20are%20you%3F/
I took the quiz. I’m Bobby, the nice one.
“But Sensei, I can beat this guy." You
are Bobby. Though physically tough, you are
a kind and sensitive person stuck in the
midst of a pack of wolves. However, your
desire to fit in and impress people often
causes you to do things you regret
immediately. This duality provokes fits of
explosive rage that you have a hard time
controlling. Nevertheless, your sweet and
soft nature attracts people to you,
especially the ladies. Some advice? Learn
to channel your anger in a healthy way, and
you will have the world at your feet. And
stay away from those bully types. They're
cramping your style.
Then it started, the planning. “We have to watch The Karate Kid! When are we all going to get together and watch the Karate Kid? Wouldn’t it be fun if we all got together to watch the Karate Kid? A Karate Kid party would be so much fun wouldn’t it? This week, the Karate Kid, my house.”
At this point I must apologize to my friend Scoop. It was a crazy week that week. Here it is in recap:
Monday: Teeners asks, “Are we ever going to watch Karate Kid? When are we going to watch Karate Kid? If we watch Karate Kid will you come? What will it take for you to come and watch the Karate Kid at a Karate Kid watching party?”
My answer: “I will be there, name a time and place, have some nachos and Honey Brown Ale, and I’m there.”
Tuesday: My friend Scoop calls: “Hey, what are you doing?”
“Nothing.”
“Listen, my cousin is having her quinceanera this Sunday night you want to come?”
“If I don’t have to work I’ll be there.”
“Good, I’m inviting you, Container Store Girl, and all my friends. It’ll be lots of fun. The actual thing starts at six, but then the drinking lasts all night.”
SIDE NOTE: If you don’t know me, or haven’t read my older entries, then you’ve probably missed out on some history that you need to be caught up on. I took on a second part time job working a truck for the Container Store about a year and a half ago. This is where I met Scoop, and Container Store Girl. I became friends with both, and developed a huge crush on Container Store Girl. It didn’t work out. Neither Container Store Girl nor I work for the Container Store anymore. We all still talk to each other, we’re all still friends, but I’ll freely admit that there are times, still even to this day where it can be awkward for me when the three of us get together, mostly because it can still be awkward for me, at times, when I’m around Container Store Girl. I should also say that I promised Container Store Girl that I’d never write about her in this thing again, but what can I say? Some days I’m a Bobby; some days I’m a Johnny.
Wednesday: Teeners walks up to me and says, “Okay, okay, Sunday. Sunday night, after work, come over to my apartment and we’ll all watch the Karate Kid. I’ll buy some chips and make some nacho cheese.”
“I’m there.”
“Are you sure?”
“I promised didn’t I?”
Thursday: I try and figure out how the hell I’m going to go to both Scoop’s cousin’s quinceanera, and watch the Karate Kid. The Karate Kid party is in Denton, TX. The quinceanera is in Fort Worth, TX. They are not close to each other. There are other issues at work here as well. I haven’t seen the Karate Kid in quite some time, and I’d really like to see it. Teeners is always giving me a hard time because I don’t go up to visit my Denton friends very often. Scoop’s family is of Hispanic descent, as is my family… I speak very little Spanish… and by very little I mean none. Scoop’s family speaks lots and lots of Spanish, and while it may not be true, I feel as though I’m being judged for my inability to keep it culturally “real”. On top of that, I have this gut feeling that if I’m at the quinceanera, and booze is at the quinceanera, and fancy dressing up is at the quinceanera, and music is at the quinceanera, and Container Store Girl is at the quinceanera, then trouble will follow me to the quinceanera, and there is a good chance that I might leave the quinceanera looking, and feeling like a fool.
Friday: I decide that going to both the quinceanera and the Karate Kid in one night was not going to happen. Now I had to decide whose heart I was going to break. Scoop? Teeners? Should I go up to Denton (I really don’t like going to Denton) and possibly get drunk and watch the Karate Kid? Or should I go to Fort Worth possibly get drunk and have yet one more in a long line of embarrassing moments?
Saturday: I call up Scoop and tell him I can’t go to his cousin’s quinceanera. I tell him I’d forgotten that I’d promised to watch the Karate Kid with some work friends. He didn’t take it very well.
Sunday: The day of truth.
I get over to Teeners about 7:30. The nachos are ready, the beer is chilled, the pizza had been ordered; Teeners sat on the floor, Johnny G, Texas Toast, The Original K-Dawg, and Sassy Mcsassypants all sat on the couch, Brokeback and I found chairs to sit on, lights were dimmed, and it started: The Karate Kid.
I can’t remember the last time I saw the Karate Kid. I remember watching it in the theaters when it came out in 1984. I must have seen it since then, on television at some point and time, but while I was sitting there in the dark of Teeners apartment, a surge consisting of 22 years of memories came flooding into my head. I could remember practicing painting the fence as a kid, then asking my dad to attack me so I could try to block his attacks by sanding the deck. I would try “wax on wax off” as well. Eventually my parents tried to put me to work on the house… seeing if I would actually paint the house, or wash the cars, and that worked on me, being all of eight years old for only a short time… but soon I stopped working for them for the free piss poor karate lessons, and started working for cold hard cash. But before it all came tumbling down, I would try the crane technique in the living room, and laugh at remembered lines of dialog. I could remember dad laughing at all of Mr. Miyagi’s one-liners.
For instance: there’s the scene where after Miyagi trains Daniel on the beach the two walk back over to Mr. Miyagi’s car where two rednecks are drinking beers. Several empty beer bottles adorn the hood of Miyagi’s car.
“Kindly remove beer bottles.” Mr. Miyagi asks the men.
“Kindly remove them yourself.” They reply.
Mr. Miyagi then karate chops the bottles in half. The stunned men run off.
“Mr. Miyagi, how’d you do that?” Daniel asks in amazement.
“Don’t know. First time.” Miyagi replies.
I remember my dad splitting his side to that scene.
He also loved the black belt scene.
Daniel is asked what belt level he is upon registering in the karate tournament. Miyagi, who doesn’t run a real dojo, simply tells the registrar that Daniel is a black belt. After he gets registered Daniel asks Mr. Miyagi, “What kind of belt do you have?”
“Canvas. J.C. Penny. Three ninety-eight. You like? Ha-ha-ha!” Miyagi replies.
I distinctively remember my dad telling me that was one of his favorite parts of the movie. It was kind of a tradition in our family, after seeing a movie we’d all hop back into the car and go over our favorite parts of the movie. “I liked it when…” that sort of stuff. I remember my dad retelling that joke. I could be mistaken, but it seems like he retold that joke for almost a month after seeing that movie every time he put on his belt. Now, it could be warm feeling of happy memories that were surging through my brain, or it could have been the large quantities of alcohol that was flowing through my bloodstream, but the next moment in the movie really, really hooked me. There is a music cue in the movie; everything around the two principle actors slows to a crawl. Miyagi is about to say something important.
“Daniel-Sa. Karate here.” Miyagi points to his own head.
“Karate here.” Miyagi points to his own heart.
“Karate never here.” Miyagi points to his belt.
“Understand?”
Daniel understood, and so did I. I was hooked into that movie till the very end. At this point I’m pretty sure it was the alcohol that was making everything seem ten times more exciting than it actually was. I had no doubt that the ending hadn’t changed in the past 22 years. I knew there was going to be a rocking song by Joe Esposito, “You’re the best around…” and highlights of various karate matches involving Daniel and members of the Cobra Kai Dojo. I knew Daniel was eventually going to get his leg swept by Bobby. I knew Miyagi was going to do that trick where he rubs the palms of his hand together, then places the heated palms of his hands on the injured leg of Daniel’s, so that Daniel could continue to fight (this was another thing my brother and I tried at home when we were younger… the only thing we ever accomplished was making our palms really red). I knew Daniel was going to have to face Johnny in the final fight, and I knew Daniel was going to win… but dammit all if it was the most exciting thing I’d seen in a very, very long time.
I’m pretty sure I shouted with excitement when Daniel won, and was upset that the movie simply ended right after Daniel won the tournament, there was absolutely no follow up. Teeners reminds me that Karate Kid II picks up right where The Karate Kid ends. I wanted to watch Karate Kid II right then and there but we didn’t have that movie at our disposal.
We celebrated the movie ending by watching Teeners and Texas Toast practice karate moves on one another while in a drunken stupor. We talked about Teeners online test, and if we really deserved who we got. Then after sobering up a bit, we went home (well, I went home) a full day of excitement behind me, to get a good night’s sleep.
I can smell the salty sea, and hear the sea gulls chirping while flying above the ocean looking for a fish to feed on.
I hear the familiar base line, “doom-da-doom-doom, doom-da-doom-doom” then that oh-so-sweet voice of Otis Redding, “Listenen’ to the morning sun, I’ll be listenen’ when the evening comes…”
I open my eyes to the most perfect day I’ve ever seen ever. The ocean laps gently against the beach and then stretches out to the horizon; well past forever. Sun light peers ever so gently out from behind low hung clouds. I am sitting on the dock of the bay, bathing in the rays of the sun as Otis sings. Then I look over, and sitting on the dock of the bay with me is Mr. Miyagi.
“I just saw you earlier tonight, I was over at my friend Teeners watching the Karate Kid.”
“Hai.”
“It’s really a very good movie.”
“I know. It’s got a good moral message.”
“Wait. What? You sound different.”
“You know, Mr. Miyagi was just a character. I’m Noriyuki Morita, the actor.”
“Sorry, I just assumed that since this was a dream… this is a dream right?”
“Yes.”
We sit and enjoy the sun, listening to Otis.
“I thought your name was Pat.”
“Noriyuki. Pat’s Americanized.”
“Oh.”
We sit quiet once more, and listen to the sounds of the beach.
“You know, it really is a very good movie. You do a wonderful job.”
“I got an Oscar nomination you know.”
“No kidding?”
“Really. I lost out to Haing S. Ngor. Can you believe that?”
“That’s too bad. I’d forgotten how much I liked that movie. I mean, it’s the Karate Kid, there’s kind of a stigma to it I guess since it became sort of a franchise, but really from an acting stand point you really do a wonderful job acting as a father figure, who isn’t without his faults. I mean there’s that scene where you’re still grieving the loss of your wife. That’s some heady stuff if you scratch past the surface.”
“Yeah.”
“So…”
“So?”
“Do you have any Miyagi like advice?”
“I told you I’m just an actor.”
“Yeah but… I mean, I just figured, since you’re here and all. And since it’s my dream.”
“It may be your dream, but it’s the dream world’s rules we must adhere to.”
“See; that sounded philosophical. I don’t even know what that means, but I liked the sound of it.”
“You’re in a funny place right now aren’t you?”
“You mean in the dream?”
“In life.”
“Yeah, yeah, I guess.”
“Worried about your future.”
“Yes.”
“You’re thinking: What am I going to do with my life? You work in what feels like a dead end job, you have student loans that need paying off, you have a degree in art which you rarely use, you went through a tough break up with someone you weren’t even going out with, and now you wonder, now in the year you’re turning thirty years of age, are you ever going to find someone or something that makes it all worth wild? Or is this it? Is this what life is?”
“Wow. Yes. That’s it in a nutshell… Well, not even in a nutshell, that’s it. That’s the nut.”
“Did you know I started off as a stand up comedian?”
“No.”
“Yeah. I grew up wanting to work in show business.”
“Really.”
“Yeah. I didn’t get any notoriety until 1964. That was when I first appeared on television. It wasn’t until 1967 that I got a real acting gig as an actor, and not just doing stand-up on television. Now to give all that some relevance, I was born back in 1932. That means I was thirty-five years old before I got my foot in the door. And it wasn’t until long after that that I felt that I had made-it, whatever that means, to any certain extent.”
“So you’re saying…”
“You don’t have to have it all figured out by now. It’s okay if you don’t. Just have an idea.”
“Well that’s easy for you to say, you’re a big time actor whose…”
“Dead?”
“Really? Oh that’s right! I saw your picture during the in memoriam segment during the Oscars!”
”Yeah.”
“What’s it like?”
“Death? Not bad. You can eat as much of anything as you want, and not gain an ounce.”
“Must be nice.”
“Dr. Atkins is going nuts.”
“Are you sad?”
“Sad?”
“That you’re not, alive anymore.”
“No. I had fun being alive, but… you know, circle of life I guess. I sort of think of it as life retiring, let the younger people get out there and affect the world. I’ve done my part.”
We sit in silence. The sun still hangs in the air, although, it now seems that it’s receding into the horizon, as opposed to rising from it.
“I’m sorry, I have to ask. And I know this is like meeting someone from New York, and saying, “My cousin lives in New York, Joe Smith, know him?” but my mom…”
“She tried to teach me how to crochet.”
“No shit.”
“Yes. And she wouldn’t approve of you using cussing.”
“Well, she’s my mom.”
“Yeah. I could never get the hang of it.”
“You know… she tried to teach me once too. I never could get it either. I sometimes think that I’d like to try again, from time to time. I’d like to think that’d make her happy or something, but, I just don’t think it’s what I’m meant to do. I don’t know.”
Again, we sit in silence. It’s almost dark now. Otis has long since stopped singing.
“You want some advice? Here’s some, and I’ll even throw in some acting to boot:
Man walk on road. Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk down middle; sooner or later get squished. Squich! Just like grape. Same here. You karate do yes, or karate do no. You karate do guess so… squich! Just like grape. Understand?”
“I think so. Although you’re not talking about karate are you?”
“The saying works for whatever meaning you want to give to it.”
“I see. Anymore words of advice?”
“You ran the dishwasher over a week ago… take the dishes out.”
“I got it. Take the dishes out of the dishwasher. Don’t be a grape.”
“Don’t walk down the center of the road. That’s the point. Commit, don’t commit; just don’t be afraid to do something. Otherwise life will run right over you.”
“I get it.”
“Do you?”
“I really do.”
“Good.”
“Do you want to just sit here for awhile?”
“Sure, I’ve got nowhere pressing to be.”
We sit in silence gazing up at the stars until I hear my alarm clock turn on. The radio is a buzz with the news that Terrell Owen may be coming to the Dallas Cowboys. Even though my head is still filled with the cobwebs of sleep and the from the booze I’d drank the night before, I get up out of bed, brush my teeth, take a shower, get dressed, and empty my dishwasher.
Imagine a young Julia Childs, maybe around the age of eight or nine watching her mother cook for the very first time. Julia’s young head is peering over the counter tops as Julia’s mother is cracking eggs into a mixing bowl, or dicing tomatoes on a wood cutting block. Now, Julia has seen her mother cook plenty times before, but this time it’s different, this time young Julia is actually paying attention, something has grabbed her imagination and shook it to it’s core; she’s watching her mother cook. This is the beginning of an obsession for young Julia. I imagine that this is how it started with my friend Teeners, but I’m not talking about cooking. I don’t know exactly where it started, or why, or how, but my friend Teeners has a serious Karate Kid obsession. I imagine Teeners, in her apartment, the television on to whatever station, and whatever station might just be showing the Karate Kid on a lazy Saturday afternoon. Teeners takes a break from vacuuming, and sits on the couch to smoke a cigarette, and to watch just a small bit of the movie, before changing the sheets on the bed; after all, the apartment certainly isn’t going to clean itself. But then something weird happens. A wash of nostalgia comes over her. She’s transported to a different time, a simpler time. She notices the simplicity of the movie: Daniel = good, Cobra Kai = bad. She wants Daniel to win, but dammit if Johnny isn’t sending a little tingle of excitement up her spine. The small flickering light of obsession is sparked.
I didn’t notice it at first. A couple of mentions of the Karate Kid here and there at work never really registered with me.
“I really think my car needs to be washed.” I’d say.
“Wax on, wax off.” She’d mumble under her breath.
“What?” I’d ask.
“Nothing.”
Eventually the obsession took over, and the Karate Kid became a part of Teeners everyday vernacular. She would compare her co-workers to the characters in the movie. She would dole out advice as if she were the one from Okinawa. And all this cumulated into her creating an online quiz: Which member of Cobra Kai are you?
http://quizilla.com/users/tinasoho/quizzes/Which%20Cobra%20Kai%20are%20you%3F/
I took the quiz. I’m Bobby, the nice one.
“But Sensei, I can beat this guy." You
are Bobby. Though physically tough, you are
a kind and sensitive person stuck in the
midst of a pack of wolves. However, your
desire to fit in and impress people often
causes you to do things you regret
immediately. This duality provokes fits of
explosive rage that you have a hard time
controlling. Nevertheless, your sweet and
soft nature attracts people to you,
especially the ladies. Some advice? Learn
to channel your anger in a healthy way, and
you will have the world at your feet. And
stay away from those bully types. They're
cramping your style.
Then it started, the planning. “We have to watch The Karate Kid! When are we all going to get together and watch the Karate Kid? Wouldn’t it be fun if we all got together to watch the Karate Kid? A Karate Kid party would be so much fun wouldn’t it? This week, the Karate Kid, my house.”
At this point I must apologize to my friend Scoop. It was a crazy week that week. Here it is in recap:
Monday: Teeners asks, “Are we ever going to watch Karate Kid? When are we going to watch Karate Kid? If we watch Karate Kid will you come? What will it take for you to come and watch the Karate Kid at a Karate Kid watching party?”
My answer: “I will be there, name a time and place, have some nachos and Honey Brown Ale, and I’m there.”
Tuesday: My friend Scoop calls: “Hey, what are you doing?”
“Nothing.”
“Listen, my cousin is having her quinceanera this Sunday night you want to come?”
“If I don’t have to work I’ll be there.”
“Good, I’m inviting you, Container Store Girl, and all my friends. It’ll be lots of fun. The actual thing starts at six, but then the drinking lasts all night.”
SIDE NOTE: If you don’t know me, or haven’t read my older entries, then you’ve probably missed out on some history that you need to be caught up on. I took on a second part time job working a truck for the Container Store about a year and a half ago. This is where I met Scoop, and Container Store Girl. I became friends with both, and developed a huge crush on Container Store Girl. It didn’t work out. Neither Container Store Girl nor I work for the Container Store anymore. We all still talk to each other, we’re all still friends, but I’ll freely admit that there are times, still even to this day where it can be awkward for me when the three of us get together, mostly because it can still be awkward for me, at times, when I’m around Container Store Girl. I should also say that I promised Container Store Girl that I’d never write about her in this thing again, but what can I say? Some days I’m a Bobby; some days I’m a Johnny.
Wednesday: Teeners walks up to me and says, “Okay, okay, Sunday. Sunday night, after work, come over to my apartment and we’ll all watch the Karate Kid. I’ll buy some chips and make some nacho cheese.”
“I’m there.”
“Are you sure?”
“I promised didn’t I?”
Thursday: I try and figure out how the hell I’m going to go to both Scoop’s cousin’s quinceanera, and watch the Karate Kid. The Karate Kid party is in Denton, TX. The quinceanera is in Fort Worth, TX. They are not close to each other. There are other issues at work here as well. I haven’t seen the Karate Kid in quite some time, and I’d really like to see it. Teeners is always giving me a hard time because I don’t go up to visit my Denton friends very often. Scoop’s family is of Hispanic descent, as is my family… I speak very little Spanish… and by very little I mean none. Scoop’s family speaks lots and lots of Spanish, and while it may not be true, I feel as though I’m being judged for my inability to keep it culturally “real”. On top of that, I have this gut feeling that if I’m at the quinceanera, and booze is at the quinceanera, and fancy dressing up is at the quinceanera, and music is at the quinceanera, and Container Store Girl is at the quinceanera, then trouble will follow me to the quinceanera, and there is a good chance that I might leave the quinceanera looking, and feeling like a fool.
Friday: I decide that going to both the quinceanera and the Karate Kid in one night was not going to happen. Now I had to decide whose heart I was going to break. Scoop? Teeners? Should I go up to Denton (I really don’t like going to Denton) and possibly get drunk and watch the Karate Kid? Or should I go to Fort Worth possibly get drunk and have yet one more in a long line of embarrassing moments?
Saturday: I call up Scoop and tell him I can’t go to his cousin’s quinceanera. I tell him I’d forgotten that I’d promised to watch the Karate Kid with some work friends. He didn’t take it very well.
Sunday: The day of truth.
I get over to Teeners about 7:30. The nachos are ready, the beer is chilled, the pizza had been ordered; Teeners sat on the floor, Johnny G, Texas Toast, The Original K-Dawg, and Sassy Mcsassypants all sat on the couch, Brokeback and I found chairs to sit on, lights were dimmed, and it started: The Karate Kid.
I can’t remember the last time I saw the Karate Kid. I remember watching it in the theaters when it came out in 1984. I must have seen it since then, on television at some point and time, but while I was sitting there in the dark of Teeners apartment, a surge consisting of 22 years of memories came flooding into my head. I could remember practicing painting the fence as a kid, then asking my dad to attack me so I could try to block his attacks by sanding the deck. I would try “wax on wax off” as well. Eventually my parents tried to put me to work on the house… seeing if I would actually paint the house, or wash the cars, and that worked on me, being all of eight years old for only a short time… but soon I stopped working for them for the free piss poor karate lessons, and started working for cold hard cash. But before it all came tumbling down, I would try the crane technique in the living room, and laugh at remembered lines of dialog. I could remember dad laughing at all of Mr. Miyagi’s one-liners.
For instance: there’s the scene where after Miyagi trains Daniel on the beach the two walk back over to Mr. Miyagi’s car where two rednecks are drinking beers. Several empty beer bottles adorn the hood of Miyagi’s car.
“Kindly remove beer bottles.” Mr. Miyagi asks the men.
“Kindly remove them yourself.” They reply.
Mr. Miyagi then karate chops the bottles in half. The stunned men run off.
“Mr. Miyagi, how’d you do that?” Daniel asks in amazement.
“Don’t know. First time.” Miyagi replies.
I remember my dad splitting his side to that scene.
He also loved the black belt scene.
Daniel is asked what belt level he is upon registering in the karate tournament. Miyagi, who doesn’t run a real dojo, simply tells the registrar that Daniel is a black belt. After he gets registered Daniel asks Mr. Miyagi, “What kind of belt do you have?”
“Canvas. J.C. Penny. Three ninety-eight. You like? Ha-ha-ha!” Miyagi replies.
I distinctively remember my dad telling me that was one of his favorite parts of the movie. It was kind of a tradition in our family, after seeing a movie we’d all hop back into the car and go over our favorite parts of the movie. “I liked it when…” that sort of stuff. I remember my dad retelling that joke. I could be mistaken, but it seems like he retold that joke for almost a month after seeing that movie every time he put on his belt. Now, it could be warm feeling of happy memories that were surging through my brain, or it could have been the large quantities of alcohol that was flowing through my bloodstream, but the next moment in the movie really, really hooked me. There is a music cue in the movie; everything around the two principle actors slows to a crawl. Miyagi is about to say something important.
“Daniel-Sa. Karate here.” Miyagi points to his own head.
“Karate here.” Miyagi points to his own heart.
“Karate never here.” Miyagi points to his belt.
“Understand?”
Daniel understood, and so did I. I was hooked into that movie till the very end. At this point I’m pretty sure it was the alcohol that was making everything seem ten times more exciting than it actually was. I had no doubt that the ending hadn’t changed in the past 22 years. I knew there was going to be a rocking song by Joe Esposito, “You’re the best around…” and highlights of various karate matches involving Daniel and members of the Cobra Kai Dojo. I knew Daniel was eventually going to get his leg swept by Bobby. I knew Miyagi was going to do that trick where he rubs the palms of his hand together, then places the heated palms of his hands on the injured leg of Daniel’s, so that Daniel could continue to fight (this was another thing my brother and I tried at home when we were younger… the only thing we ever accomplished was making our palms really red). I knew Daniel was going to have to face Johnny in the final fight, and I knew Daniel was going to win… but dammit all if it was the most exciting thing I’d seen in a very, very long time.
I’m pretty sure I shouted with excitement when Daniel won, and was upset that the movie simply ended right after Daniel won the tournament, there was absolutely no follow up. Teeners reminds me that Karate Kid II picks up right where The Karate Kid ends. I wanted to watch Karate Kid II right then and there but we didn’t have that movie at our disposal.
We celebrated the movie ending by watching Teeners and Texas Toast practice karate moves on one another while in a drunken stupor. We talked about Teeners online test, and if we really deserved who we got. Then after sobering up a bit, we went home (well, I went home) a full day of excitement behind me, to get a good night’s sleep.
I can smell the salty sea, and hear the sea gulls chirping while flying above the ocean looking for a fish to feed on.
I hear the familiar base line, “doom-da-doom-doom, doom-da-doom-doom” then that oh-so-sweet voice of Otis Redding, “Listenen’ to the morning sun, I’ll be listenen’ when the evening comes…”
I open my eyes to the most perfect day I’ve ever seen ever. The ocean laps gently against the beach and then stretches out to the horizon; well past forever. Sun light peers ever so gently out from behind low hung clouds. I am sitting on the dock of the bay, bathing in the rays of the sun as Otis sings. Then I look over, and sitting on the dock of the bay with me is Mr. Miyagi.
“I just saw you earlier tonight, I was over at my friend Teeners watching the Karate Kid.”
“Hai.”
“It’s really a very good movie.”
“I know. It’s got a good moral message.”
“Wait. What? You sound different.”
“You know, Mr. Miyagi was just a character. I’m Noriyuki Morita, the actor.”
“Sorry, I just assumed that since this was a dream… this is a dream right?”
“Yes.”
We sit and enjoy the sun, listening to Otis.
“I thought your name was Pat.”
“Noriyuki. Pat’s Americanized.”
“Oh.”
We sit quiet once more, and listen to the sounds of the beach.
“You know, it really is a very good movie. You do a wonderful job.”
“I got an Oscar nomination you know.”
“No kidding?”
“Really. I lost out to Haing S. Ngor. Can you believe that?”
“That’s too bad. I’d forgotten how much I liked that movie. I mean, it’s the Karate Kid, there’s kind of a stigma to it I guess since it became sort of a franchise, but really from an acting stand point you really do a wonderful job acting as a father figure, who isn’t without his faults. I mean there’s that scene where you’re still grieving the loss of your wife. That’s some heady stuff if you scratch past the surface.”
“Yeah.”
“So…”
“So?”
“Do you have any Miyagi like advice?”
“I told you I’m just an actor.”
“Yeah but… I mean, I just figured, since you’re here and all. And since it’s my dream.”
“It may be your dream, but it’s the dream world’s rules we must adhere to.”
“See; that sounded philosophical. I don’t even know what that means, but I liked the sound of it.”
“You’re in a funny place right now aren’t you?”
“You mean in the dream?”
“In life.”
“Yeah, yeah, I guess.”
“Worried about your future.”
“Yes.”
“You’re thinking: What am I going to do with my life? You work in what feels like a dead end job, you have student loans that need paying off, you have a degree in art which you rarely use, you went through a tough break up with someone you weren’t even going out with, and now you wonder, now in the year you’re turning thirty years of age, are you ever going to find someone or something that makes it all worth wild? Or is this it? Is this what life is?”
“Wow. Yes. That’s it in a nutshell… Well, not even in a nutshell, that’s it. That’s the nut.”
“Did you know I started off as a stand up comedian?”
“No.”
“Yeah. I grew up wanting to work in show business.”
“Really.”
“Yeah. I didn’t get any notoriety until 1964. That was when I first appeared on television. It wasn’t until 1967 that I got a real acting gig as an actor, and not just doing stand-up on television. Now to give all that some relevance, I was born back in 1932. That means I was thirty-five years old before I got my foot in the door. And it wasn’t until long after that that I felt that I had made-it, whatever that means, to any certain extent.”
“So you’re saying…”
“You don’t have to have it all figured out by now. It’s okay if you don’t. Just have an idea.”
“Well that’s easy for you to say, you’re a big time actor whose…”
“Dead?”
“Really? Oh that’s right! I saw your picture during the in memoriam segment during the Oscars!”
”Yeah.”
“What’s it like?”
“Death? Not bad. You can eat as much of anything as you want, and not gain an ounce.”
“Must be nice.”
“Dr. Atkins is going nuts.”
“Are you sad?”
“Sad?”
“That you’re not, alive anymore.”
“No. I had fun being alive, but… you know, circle of life I guess. I sort of think of it as life retiring, let the younger people get out there and affect the world. I’ve done my part.”
We sit in silence. The sun still hangs in the air, although, it now seems that it’s receding into the horizon, as opposed to rising from it.
“I’m sorry, I have to ask. And I know this is like meeting someone from New York, and saying, “My cousin lives in New York, Joe Smith, know him?” but my mom…”
“She tried to teach me how to crochet.”
“No shit.”
“Yes. And she wouldn’t approve of you using cussing.”
“Well, she’s my mom.”
“Yeah. I could never get the hang of it.”
“You know… she tried to teach me once too. I never could get it either. I sometimes think that I’d like to try again, from time to time. I’d like to think that’d make her happy or something, but, I just don’t think it’s what I’m meant to do. I don’t know.”
Again, we sit in silence. It’s almost dark now. Otis has long since stopped singing.
“You want some advice? Here’s some, and I’ll even throw in some acting to boot:
Man walk on road. Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk down middle; sooner or later get squished. Squich! Just like grape. Same here. You karate do yes, or karate do no. You karate do guess so… squich! Just like grape. Understand?”
“I think so. Although you’re not talking about karate are you?”
“The saying works for whatever meaning you want to give to it.”
“I see. Anymore words of advice?”
“You ran the dishwasher over a week ago… take the dishes out.”
“I got it. Take the dishes out of the dishwasher. Don’t be a grape.”
“Don’t walk down the center of the road. That’s the point. Commit, don’t commit; just don’t be afraid to do something. Otherwise life will run right over you.”
“I get it.”
“Do you?”
“I really do.”
“Good.”
“Do you want to just sit here for awhile?”
“Sure, I’ve got nowhere pressing to be.”
We sit in silence gazing up at the stars until I hear my alarm clock turn on. The radio is a buzz with the news that Terrell Owen may be coming to the Dallas Cowboys. Even though my head is still filled with the cobwebs of sleep and the from the booze I’d drank the night before, I get up out of bed, brush my teeth, take a shower, get dressed, and empty my dishwasher.