Delight

[jehoshabeath]

One of the things I've been wrestling with this year is harshness toward myself. I struggle to accept God's love for me. I feel like I will only ever grieve Him. I believe that I'm incapable of bringing Him delight. I don't seek the crown of life - I feel guilty for wanting to share in glory. I'm drawn to the descriptions of our Lord's Passion,

Comments

Self-deprecation

[anonymous]

I am all-too familiar with "harshness toward myself". Matt says it is in our DNA, and I believe he is right - both generically (human nature) and, more closely, regarding our family. I don't know if it comes from the McCarty line or the Carson line (perhaps I will ask the Board tomorrow ;) ) I did not know my dad's family, but it is certainly true of my mom, and me, and others too I think. It poses a real danger, because self-criticism is the nuclear energy of addictive behavior. But it seems that, as with other things, the Truth is a thin line between a critical spirit on the one side, with it's strict moral censure, and anarchy on the other side, with its tendency to libertine behavior. My experience has taught me that those who find it easy to picture God "rejoicing over" them might be surprised to find themselves facing His wrath; while those who always put themselves down might be surprised to hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant." Maybe that is why the Bible says God lifts up the humble but puts down the proud. I don't

RE: Self-deprecation

[jehoshabeath]

Thanks so much for sharing, Dad. *hugs