happy new year.
To: Frito Lay
Re: Marketing Director
Dear Frito-Lay potato chip company.
I don't know if an email cover letter can properly express the admiration I feel for men and women who have become rich off of potato chips. Thank you. Seriously, THANK YOU, for taking the time to review my resume. I realize that the last time I applied for a job with your company, I accidentally included an instant messenger transcript which reflected poorly on my character, but I have fixed the copy and paste bug that led to that particular CHRIS SAYS: also, i thought that a great new trend to start would be to yell something insane every time i orgasm with a girl.....like, "HERE COMES THE CRAZY JUICE." Wait. I told you that one, didn't I?
JOEY SAYS: You did. I mentioned it in bed this evening, actually.
CHRIS SAYS: What about the one where I yell "I HATE MY DAD" when I cum.
JOEY SAYS: I love you, man.
Which is exactly the sort of experience and underlying motivation that makes for a valuable employee, I think you'll agree. CHRIS SAYS: or you could just yell "GIVE IT BACK. GIVE IT BACK"
JOEY SAYS: haha. Or "CAN YOU HEAR THAT MUSIC? IS THAT YOUR BEEF PEACH SINGING TO ME?" cut and paste problems are JOEY SAYS: or "MY COLONISTS! MY COLONISTS ARE COLONIZING YOUR BEEF PEACH!" Technical know-how and potato chip enthusiasm. And that said, I look forward to hearing from you regarding this position.
Yours,
JOEY SAYS: "BEEEEEEEF PEACH" Comeau