Fic: Five ways she lost Allison Cameron (and two she didn't)
Title: Five ways she lost Allison Cameron (and two she didn't)
Pairing: Cuddy/Cameron
Rating: G - PG
Word count: 2027
Summary: Five unrelated ways... oh you know the rest.
Pride
It started with something so simple.
“What do you mean Chase is a better doctor than me?”
Cuddy had tried to steer the conversation away from the remark she had just made but, as she had reflected before, Cameron was like a dog: when she had something in her teeth she would not let go.
“The man can barely spell doctor, Cuddy! He only got his job because his daddy made a phone call!”
Cuddy supposed that she hadn’t helped things when she’d reminded Cameron of the reason why she’d gotten her job, and then followed up, quite forcefully, with everything Chase did well. The slam from when Cameron walked out the door made her head ache.
The anger that dissipated soon after the argument returned in full force three days later when she saw Cameron on the arm of a doctor from pediatrics, who kept looking at Cameron as if he couldn’t believe he had her. Cameron threw Cuddy a triumphant look and Cuddy lost all appetite for the salad she was eating.
Cuddy knows she should apologise and end the war that has started up between them, but it’s too hard and she can’t push aside her pride. She tries to at times: when she sees Cameron walking the halls and looking miserable, when the younger woman enters her office to ask her to sign paperwork or yell at House, when she finds Cameron crying alone in the bathroom. But she can’t and she doesn’t and she hopes maybe someday sorry won’t need to be said, and things can go back to how they used to be.
At last, weeks later when Cameron stands in her office with a letter of resignation and the news that she has gotten a job at a hospital half way across the country, Cuddy closes her eyes and wonders how things could have gone so wrong.
Gluttony
It takes her three months to work up the courage to ask Cameron out on a date. Even then she’s awkward about it, blurting out the invitation for dinner and then hoping Cameron didn’t hear. The other woman smiles and accepts and Cuddy tries not to look too relieved.
She spends two days working out what to wear - should she wear this skirt or that, black shoes or silver? When she rings Cameron’s doorbell, trying to make her heart calm down, she wonders why she doesn’t just run away.
Cameron looks stunning in a green dress that matches her eyes, and Cuddy feels her heart speed up even more. They go to dinner at the nicest place Cuddy knows and she feels herself relax a little as they sit there.
“I had no idea you felt this way,” Cameron says at one point, and Cuddy simply smiles and takes a sip of wine. She doesn’t say that she’s been watching Cameron for months, or that her desire is almost overwhelming her to the point that she wants to jump over the table and make love to the other woman right then and there. She works hard on making light, amusing conversation, and she almost believes its working.
“I had fun tonight,” Cameron says, as they walk down the hall to her apartment, their hands joined.
“Me too,” Cuddy replies. She’s feeling good about the night; it’s gone better than she had hoped. They stop at Cameron’s door and smile. Cuddy leans forward and kisses her lightly, and then stands back.
“Goodnight,” she says.
“Goodnight,” Cameron replies. She turns and unlocks her door, stepping inside. She’s almost gone when Cuddy says, “Wait.” Cameron stops and Cuddy goes through the door, stepping closer to kiss her again. She leads Cameron backward toward the couch but Cameron breaks away.
“No,” she says. “Not yet.”
“Allison,” Cuddy says. “Come on.” She kisses her again, hands creeping up her shirt and going to unhook her bra and Cameron pushes her off. “I said no, Lisa.”
“You know you want to,” Cuddy whispers, stepping closer again.
“Lisa, I said no!” Cameron’s shouting now, and Lisa steps back. “I’m sorry,” she says, more quietly. “I thought you’d realise I’m not like that.”
Cuddy nods once, staring at the floor, and then turns to leave. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs to the floor, and then leaves without another word.
Envy
“You know,” Cuddy says once day, picking up one of the other woman’s curls and twirling it around her fingers. “We should dye your hair red.”
They do it that night, and they both agree it looks fantastic when it’s done.
“Why red?” Cameron asks, as they lie in bed.
“It suits you,” Cuddy replies. “You’re quiet, but you’re fiery when you want to be. Besides, you look damn hot like that.” Cameron grins.
“What colour would you be then?”
“I’d be… purple,” Cuddy decides. “Because as Dean of Medicine, I’m like royalty around the hospital. Cameron snorts.
“Sure you are,” she says dryly. “What about House?” she asks, before Cuddy can protest. They both think for a moment.
“He’d be blue,” Cameron says before long. “Because he’s trying to be out there and show that he doesn’t care what people think.”
“No,” Cuddy argues. “He’d be green.”
“Why?”
“He’s green with envy,” Cuddy explains. “Because I’ve got you and he hasn’t.”
Cameron’s groan is silenced by a kiss. She gives up her arguments. This is much more fun.
Lust
The first thought that goes through Cuddy’s mind when she sees Cameron approaching her office is that this is such a cliché. Two women working late, alone in a big hospital, with no one to stop them from doing whatever they want. She spends a brief moment imagining how this will play out: one of them will make a comment about her stack of paperwork and they’ll look at each other for a moment. Then suddenly they’ll be kissing, tongues battling and hand groping, and there’ll be hot, desperate sex on the desk shortly after. Cuddy’s next thought as she feels a stirring down below, is that she loves clichés.
She’s interrupted from her thoughts by Cameron knocking on the door. Cuddy waves her in and watches as she puts down the files in her arms.
“Wow,” Cuddy says, standing up and moving around the desk. “That must have taken you hours.”
“Long enough,” Cameron agrees. There’s a short silence and Cuddy congratulates herself on how well she’s sticking to the plan. Then she steps forward and kisses Cameron lightly on the lips. The younger woman doesn’t respond and Cuddy kisses her again, this time with more passion and lust. Then Cameron steps back and pushes Cuddy roughly away.
“Cuddy,” she almost whispers. “I’m not - I don’t - I’m sorry.” She turns and walks out of the office, leaving Cuddy to stare after her, panting a little and wiping smudged lipstick from her mouth.
Two women working late, alone in a big hospital with no one to stop them from doing whatever they want. Cuddy’s last thought as she sits down at her desk and puts her head in her hands, is that she hates clichés.
Sloth
Cuddy finds her perched atop the table of an empty exam room, staring at the floor.
“Well, well,” she says lightly, locking the door and going to the younger woman. “Paging the Dean of Medicine to an empty room so you can make out with her? How very… House of you.”
She barely notices that Cameron doesn’t smile as she leans in to kiss her, but she’s surprised when the younger woman pulls back.
“Lisa,” she says, holding up a hand to stop her and looking down at the floor. “My patient just died.” Her eyes are half full of tears, her lower lip trembling and Cuddy represses a sigh.
“Oh Ally,” she says, sitting down next to her. “I’m so sorry.”
She knows that Cameron will ask what to do to, and she has an answer prepared. But when the question comes, it’s something else that spills out of her mouth.
“You can’t get so attached, Ally,” she says. “You just have to remember that they’re patients, not people.”
She knows she’s made a mistake when Cameron stands up, looking at Cuddy with a mixture of hurt and surprise.
“I can’t believe this,” she says quietly. “I thought you were different.” Cuddy calls after her as she walks away but the younger woman doesn’t stop. Cuddy sighs and sits down on the table, her head falling into her hands.
Later she’ll go to the diagnostics department to find House in his office. She’ll yell at him for giving Cameron a patient to look after that he knew she wouldn’t be able to save and he’ll follow her out into the room where Cameron sits, staring at a newspaper on the table. House will ask if the two of them are lovers and Cuddy will open her mouth to yell but will be interrupted by a quiet, “No,” from behind. Cuddy will turn to look at Cameron, who determinedly stares at the table. Then she’ll leave the room without a word.
Hate
“Oh come on,” Cameron said, lightly running her fingertips over Cuddy’s stomach as they lay together in bed. “My parents would love to meet you.”
“I hate families,” Cuddy grumbled, squirming slightly under Cameron’s hands. “And that tickles.” Cameron sat up and faced her.
“Fine, I’ll make you a deal,” she said. “You come to my cousin’s wedding with me and meet my family…” she paused. “And I’ll let you live out that dirty little fantasy you have of us in your mind.” She smirked slightly at the way Cuddy’s eyes widened.
“Fine,” Cuddy groaned. “But you have to be the one in the squirrel costume.”
They left a few days later and as they neared Cameron’s parents’ house, where they would be staying for the week, Cuddy wondered what she was doing. She’d never gotten on with anyone’s parents, not even with her own. This was going to be disastrous.
Cameron’s mother met them as they came up to the house.
“Ally!” she called. “It’s so good to see you. And… hello.” she turned to Cuddy.
“I’m Lisa,” Cuddy quickly introduced herself. “Nice to meet you.”
“Yes,” the older woman said, looking her over with something akin to distaste on her face. “Well. Let’s get inside.”
While Cameron’s father seemed nice enough, her mother’s attitude toward Cuddy didn’t change, however hard she tried to be pleasant. Tension was rising and at the wedding it reached breaking point. She tried. Really. But when Cameron’s mother told Ally to take her “friend” to sit in the back she snapped.
Cuddy thought later that maybe she shouldn’t have mentioned her homophobic attitude toward her. Or Ally’s upbringing. Or anything at all, for that matter. But she did, and Cameron’s face as she looked between Cuddy and her mother, and then stepped to stand next to her mother wouldn’t be leaving her dreams for a while.
They didn’t speak as Cuddy packed her things and moved them out of the house. Cameron walked her to the door and they looked at each other.
“Ally,” Cuddy tried.
“Just go, Cuddy,” Cameron said quickly. Cuddy dropped her eyes and left. As she walked outside to the waiting taxi, she didn’t look back.
Greed
Cameron opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling above her. It wasn’t her own, but it was becoming more and more familiar as time passed. She raised herself up on one elbow to look at Cuddy, who was still asleep beside her. Well, she could deal with that.
Leaning down, Cameron gently kissed the other woman’s lips. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled sleepily up at Cameron.
“Morning,” she said lazily. She sat up as Cameron started to get out of bed. “Where are you going?”
“Work,” Cameron replied. “I’m late already.”
“Well, I say you don’t have to go in today - and I am the boss. Come back to bed.”
“What, you want more time with me?” Cameron laughed, sitting back down on the bed. “We just spent the whole night together.”
“What can I say,” Cuddy said, pulling the other woman closer to her. “I’m greedy.”
Pairing: Cuddy/Cameron
Rating: G - PG
Word count: 2027
Summary: Five unrelated ways... oh you know the rest.
Pride
It started with something so simple.
“What do you mean Chase is a better doctor than me?”
Cuddy had tried to steer the conversation away from the remark she had just made but, as she had reflected before, Cameron was like a dog: when she had something in her teeth she would not let go.
“The man can barely spell doctor, Cuddy! He only got his job because his daddy made a phone call!”
Cuddy supposed that she hadn’t helped things when she’d reminded Cameron of the reason why she’d gotten her job, and then followed up, quite forcefully, with everything Chase did well. The slam from when Cameron walked out the door made her head ache.
The anger that dissipated soon after the argument returned in full force three days later when she saw Cameron on the arm of a doctor from pediatrics, who kept looking at Cameron as if he couldn’t believe he had her. Cameron threw Cuddy a triumphant look and Cuddy lost all appetite for the salad she was eating.
Cuddy knows she should apologise and end the war that has started up between them, but it’s too hard and she can’t push aside her pride. She tries to at times: when she sees Cameron walking the halls and looking miserable, when the younger woman enters her office to ask her to sign paperwork or yell at House, when she finds Cameron crying alone in the bathroom. But she can’t and she doesn’t and she hopes maybe someday sorry won’t need to be said, and things can go back to how they used to be.
At last, weeks later when Cameron stands in her office with a letter of resignation and the news that she has gotten a job at a hospital half way across the country, Cuddy closes her eyes and wonders how things could have gone so wrong.
Gluttony
It takes her three months to work up the courage to ask Cameron out on a date. Even then she’s awkward about it, blurting out the invitation for dinner and then hoping Cameron didn’t hear. The other woman smiles and accepts and Cuddy tries not to look too relieved.
She spends two days working out what to wear - should she wear this skirt or that, black shoes or silver? When she rings Cameron’s doorbell, trying to make her heart calm down, she wonders why she doesn’t just run away.
Cameron looks stunning in a green dress that matches her eyes, and Cuddy feels her heart speed up even more. They go to dinner at the nicest place Cuddy knows and she feels herself relax a little as they sit there.
“I had no idea you felt this way,” Cameron says at one point, and Cuddy simply smiles and takes a sip of wine. She doesn’t say that she’s been watching Cameron for months, or that her desire is almost overwhelming her to the point that she wants to jump over the table and make love to the other woman right then and there. She works hard on making light, amusing conversation, and she almost believes its working.
“I had fun tonight,” Cameron says, as they walk down the hall to her apartment, their hands joined.
“Me too,” Cuddy replies. She’s feeling good about the night; it’s gone better than she had hoped. They stop at Cameron’s door and smile. Cuddy leans forward and kisses her lightly, and then stands back.
“Goodnight,” she says.
“Goodnight,” Cameron replies. She turns and unlocks her door, stepping inside. She’s almost gone when Cuddy says, “Wait.” Cameron stops and Cuddy goes through the door, stepping closer to kiss her again. She leads Cameron backward toward the couch but Cameron breaks away.
“No,” she says. “Not yet.”
“Allison,” Cuddy says. “Come on.” She kisses her again, hands creeping up her shirt and going to unhook her bra and Cameron pushes her off. “I said no, Lisa.”
“You know you want to,” Cuddy whispers, stepping closer again.
“Lisa, I said no!” Cameron’s shouting now, and Lisa steps back. “I’m sorry,” she says, more quietly. “I thought you’d realise I’m not like that.”
Cuddy nods once, staring at the floor, and then turns to leave. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs to the floor, and then leaves without another word.
Envy
“You know,” Cuddy says once day, picking up one of the other woman’s curls and twirling it around her fingers. “We should dye your hair red.”
They do it that night, and they both agree it looks fantastic when it’s done.
“Why red?” Cameron asks, as they lie in bed.
“It suits you,” Cuddy replies. “You’re quiet, but you’re fiery when you want to be. Besides, you look damn hot like that.” Cameron grins.
“What colour would you be then?”
“I’d be… purple,” Cuddy decides. “Because as Dean of Medicine, I’m like royalty around the hospital. Cameron snorts.
“Sure you are,” she says dryly. “What about House?” she asks, before Cuddy can protest. They both think for a moment.
“He’d be blue,” Cameron says before long. “Because he’s trying to be out there and show that he doesn’t care what people think.”
“No,” Cuddy argues. “He’d be green.”
“Why?”
“He’s green with envy,” Cuddy explains. “Because I’ve got you and he hasn’t.”
Cameron’s groan is silenced by a kiss. She gives up her arguments. This is much more fun.
Lust
The first thought that goes through Cuddy’s mind when she sees Cameron approaching her office is that this is such a cliché. Two women working late, alone in a big hospital, with no one to stop them from doing whatever they want. She spends a brief moment imagining how this will play out: one of them will make a comment about her stack of paperwork and they’ll look at each other for a moment. Then suddenly they’ll be kissing, tongues battling and hand groping, and there’ll be hot, desperate sex on the desk shortly after. Cuddy’s next thought as she feels a stirring down below, is that she loves clichés.
She’s interrupted from her thoughts by Cameron knocking on the door. Cuddy waves her in and watches as she puts down the files in her arms.
“Wow,” Cuddy says, standing up and moving around the desk. “That must have taken you hours.”
“Long enough,” Cameron agrees. There’s a short silence and Cuddy congratulates herself on how well she’s sticking to the plan. Then she steps forward and kisses Cameron lightly on the lips. The younger woman doesn’t respond and Cuddy kisses her again, this time with more passion and lust. Then Cameron steps back and pushes Cuddy roughly away.
“Cuddy,” she almost whispers. “I’m not - I don’t - I’m sorry.” She turns and walks out of the office, leaving Cuddy to stare after her, panting a little and wiping smudged lipstick from her mouth.
Two women working late, alone in a big hospital with no one to stop them from doing whatever they want. Cuddy’s last thought as she sits down at her desk and puts her head in her hands, is that she hates clichés.
Sloth
Cuddy finds her perched atop the table of an empty exam room, staring at the floor.
“Well, well,” she says lightly, locking the door and going to the younger woman. “Paging the Dean of Medicine to an empty room so you can make out with her? How very… House of you.”
She barely notices that Cameron doesn’t smile as she leans in to kiss her, but she’s surprised when the younger woman pulls back.
“Lisa,” she says, holding up a hand to stop her and looking down at the floor. “My patient just died.” Her eyes are half full of tears, her lower lip trembling and Cuddy represses a sigh.
“Oh Ally,” she says, sitting down next to her. “I’m so sorry.”
She knows that Cameron will ask what to do to, and she has an answer prepared. But when the question comes, it’s something else that spills out of her mouth.
“You can’t get so attached, Ally,” she says. “You just have to remember that they’re patients, not people.”
She knows she’s made a mistake when Cameron stands up, looking at Cuddy with a mixture of hurt and surprise.
“I can’t believe this,” she says quietly. “I thought you were different.” Cuddy calls after her as she walks away but the younger woman doesn’t stop. Cuddy sighs and sits down on the table, her head falling into her hands.
Later she’ll go to the diagnostics department to find House in his office. She’ll yell at him for giving Cameron a patient to look after that he knew she wouldn’t be able to save and he’ll follow her out into the room where Cameron sits, staring at a newspaper on the table. House will ask if the two of them are lovers and Cuddy will open her mouth to yell but will be interrupted by a quiet, “No,” from behind. Cuddy will turn to look at Cameron, who determinedly stares at the table. Then she’ll leave the room without a word.
Hate
“Oh come on,” Cameron said, lightly running her fingertips over Cuddy’s stomach as they lay together in bed. “My parents would love to meet you.”
“I hate families,” Cuddy grumbled, squirming slightly under Cameron’s hands. “And that tickles.” Cameron sat up and faced her.
“Fine, I’ll make you a deal,” she said. “You come to my cousin’s wedding with me and meet my family…” she paused. “And I’ll let you live out that dirty little fantasy you have of us in your mind.” She smirked slightly at the way Cuddy’s eyes widened.
“Fine,” Cuddy groaned. “But you have to be the one in the squirrel costume.”
They left a few days later and as they neared Cameron’s parents’ house, where they would be staying for the week, Cuddy wondered what she was doing. She’d never gotten on with anyone’s parents, not even with her own. This was going to be disastrous.
Cameron’s mother met them as they came up to the house.
“Ally!” she called. “It’s so good to see you. And… hello.” she turned to Cuddy.
“I’m Lisa,” Cuddy quickly introduced herself. “Nice to meet you.”
“Yes,” the older woman said, looking her over with something akin to distaste on her face. “Well. Let’s get inside.”
While Cameron’s father seemed nice enough, her mother’s attitude toward Cuddy didn’t change, however hard she tried to be pleasant. Tension was rising and at the wedding it reached breaking point. She tried. Really. But when Cameron’s mother told Ally to take her “friend” to sit in the back she snapped.
Cuddy thought later that maybe she shouldn’t have mentioned her homophobic attitude toward her. Or Ally’s upbringing. Or anything at all, for that matter. But she did, and Cameron’s face as she looked between Cuddy and her mother, and then stepped to stand next to her mother wouldn’t be leaving her dreams for a while.
They didn’t speak as Cuddy packed her things and moved them out of the house. Cameron walked her to the door and they looked at each other.
“Ally,” Cuddy tried.
“Just go, Cuddy,” Cameron said quickly. Cuddy dropped her eyes and left. As she walked outside to the waiting taxi, she didn’t look back.
Greed
Cameron opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling above her. It wasn’t her own, but it was becoming more and more familiar as time passed. She raised herself up on one elbow to look at Cuddy, who was still asleep beside her. Well, she could deal with that.
Leaning down, Cameron gently kissed the other woman’s lips. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled sleepily up at Cameron.
“Morning,” she said lazily. She sat up as Cameron started to get out of bed. “Where are you going?”
“Work,” Cameron replied. “I’m late already.”
“Well, I say you don’t have to go in today - and I am the boss. Come back to bed.”
“What, you want more time with me?” Cameron laughed, sitting back down on the bed. “We just spent the whole night together.”
“What can I say,” Cuddy said, pulling the other woman closer to her. “I’m greedy.”