Must...type...something...
Okay, I know I haven't been really updating my journal, so...
I'm a little pissed at this computer right now. I just typed a whole bunch of shit, and it got erased because the connection failed! Fuck!!!
Anyway, it's official. I live with Tara now. It's working out pretty well. I sleep on the couch. I keep an eye on Jacob when she's at work. I get the car to go to school and shit. That's always nice. Tara really made me laugh the other night. She was telling me about her "rules". She has different sponges for everything! One for dishes, one for counters and one for the dining room table. She uses only paper towels and rags on the floors. I thought it was hilarious! If I ever don't feel like cleaning, I'll just say, "But, I didn't want to use the wrong sponge!!". Nah, it's working out really well here. I have my stuff in Jacob's closet, and that doesn't bother him any, since it doesn't use it anyway. We will be moving out of here shortly. We're looking for a three bedroom townhome that's not really an apartment in disguise. It's a tough order to fill, but we can do this.
I dyed my hair this weekend. Well, Tara did. It's dark, dark reddish purplish. I haven't had this color in a long time. I like it, though. I think I'll keep it for a while.
School's fine. I don't think I'm doing as well as I was last quarter, but I think I'm still doing okay. I need to keep my grades up to keep my financial aid. I have a presentation due next Wednesday in Art of Selling. I'm going to do mine on "Why Sewing is a Good Hobby". I'll be bringing in things I have done with my machine like my quilt and a few items of clothing. Maybe a couple of the pillows Tara made this weekend. I also have a group project in Interpersonal Relations that I need to work on. Since I missed the first group meeting, the thesis is "Dangers of Antidepressants Taken by Youth". I think it's kind of stupid, but whatever, at least it'll be easy. I hope. I also have exams in both of those classes tomorrow. I should study.
In other news, I've been thinking too much lately. Trying to figure out answers to the following questions:
What really happens when we die?
Is there really such a thing as "forever"?
What does it take to be happy? Or at least content?
Where are my cigarettes?
Am I incapable of truly loving another person? (I love a lot of people, but it's not LOVE love)
Why do I still cry about losing Baby, Ra-ra, Gizmo and Ringo? (My cats and rat)
Why is the world such an ugly place, but at the same time, beautiful?
I was going to Tara's friend's house with her, and I found myself completely mesmerized by the streetlights and bare trees. Something about the way they drifted past us. I found a small smile on my lips when we came to a red light and continued to gaze at the beauty. It was very relaxing. I think that's what I need. Just to relax about shit.