Week Three September Entry
Pregnant pause
by JellybeanChiChi
The following is the September week three entry for Brigits_Flame. The prompt was pregnant. Thanks for Ruth and Margaret for the beta and suggestions.
“Excuse me,” Russell said as he stopped an office worker who pushed a cart with cleaning supplies and a large garbage can. “Umm, I’m looking for room 2B and I can’t find it.”
The worker gave the young man a strange look. “Son, there ain’t but four rooms in this building, and none of them are marked with a letter. You want either 1 or 2 or 3 or 4.”
“I’m pretty sure I’m looking for 2B,” Russell replied, as he checked his notes again while still holding his leather attaché. He showed the note to the man. “See? Summerlin Office Park, and I wrote 2B.”
The man didn’t even look at the note. “You looking for a meeting or something?”
“Yes. I’m actually giving a financial presentation - estate planning, savings. You know if you’re interested…”
“Well, I’m going to bet that whichever these four rooms has a bunch of people in it, that will be the room you need to be in.” And with that, he rolled his eyes and walked away.
Russell walked to each room and peeked into the windows on the doors. He spotted a familiar face in the last room. “Room 4? How did I get that wrong?”
He stepped inside and was immediately shocked at the site in front of him. A dozen very pregnant women all dressed in stretchable cotton.
While he stood dumbstruck, that familiar face from the window approached him and tried to jolt him out of his stupor.
“Russell. Russell! What’s the matter with you?” asked Lily Flemming.
“I.. ah… Hey Lily. Umm… what’s going on here?”
“What do you mean, what’s going on? You agreed to do a presentation for my Moms to Be group.”
“Moms to Be?” Russell started putting the pieces together. He was a junior member of his office’s financial group. Lily, who serves as his boss’ personal assistant, offered to have Russell come to one of her outside-work meetings to boost his client list. Never in a million years would he think the after-hours meeting would be a pregnant women’s group.
Lily could almost gauge the 25-year-old’s train of thought. “What did you think I meant when I said, ‘Moms to Be?’”
“I thought it was a group of mothers who meet in room 2B.”
Lily stood with her hands supporting her lower back. Her protruding stomach closed the gap between the two. “Russell, you do know I’m seven months pregnant, right?”
Russell’s face turned beet red. “Well… ummm.”
“Russell, answer my question!”
“Well, … NO. OK. Happy? … I just thought you were getting a little… chunky, that’s all. And it’s not like I could say that to you.”
Lily stood there silent, but Russell wasn’t stupid; he felt the daggers shooting from Lily’s eyes. And before he knew it, Lily grabbed his left arm and pinched hard the sensitive skin on the backside of his bicep. Russell wanted to yelp, but flaring nostrils and demonic eyes caused him to shut his mouth.
Lily continued the hold on Russell as she led him to a secluded corner of the room. “OH,” she said in a very loud whisper, “so you thought you coming here was doing the fat office girl a favor!” She accentuated her point with another rough pinch and topped it with a twist.”
“OUCH! Jesus, Lily! Take it easy! Give a guy a break!”
“A BREAK! I am giving you a break by letting you come here and try to get more clients, you moron! What’s the matter with you? Did you take the short bus on the way here or are you naturally this dense?!”
He knew nothing he could say would remedy the situation, and yet… “It’s just… I didn’t even know you were with a guy…”
Now it was time for the finger in the face. “First of all, I’ve been married for seven years, and you’d know that by the WEDDING BAND on my left hand, not to mention the 14 photos lining the wall of my cubicle.”
“You’re right. You’re absolutely right. I’m sorry, Lily. I’m an idiot. I’m so sorry.”
Lily couldn’t believe this guy. “Well, are you going to make your presentation or what?”
“Yeah, right… Of course. All I have to do is put my stuff down.”
Russell skulked as he made his way to the podium in front of the seated women. It would seem Lily’s and Russell’s conversation/confrontation was floating around the room through the women’s whispers. Russell perused the room again, trying to ground himself, but all he could think of was, “God, I have never see so many huge tits in one place that didn’t have a stripper pole.” Although he chuckled at his inner monologue, his little joke did nothing to alleviate the tension he felt in the room.
Russell took a deep breath, opened his briefcase, smiled …
And left the room.
Lily looked up at the ceiling and pursed her lips so she wouldn’t curse out loud. But it didn’t stop the cursing in her head. “I’m going to kill that little fuck wad.”
Although he left the room, Russell didn’t leave the building. He paced down the hallway in front of room 4. “How could I be so stupid?!”
Should he leave? He couldn’t go back in there. Not after humiliating himself. …
Inside room 4, a couple of Lily’s friends, Melanie and Gloria, approached her. “What happened? Performance anxiety?” Melanie asked, a definite air of concern in her voice.
Lily shook her head. “I don’t know what’s wrong with the little prick.”
“Lily, hon, remember your blood pressure,” Melanie said.
“Yeah, careful dear. Don’t be consumed by those nasty hormones of yours, Lil. It’s making you be too hard on the boy,” Gloria said. “Although I wouldn’t mind that boy’s hard body on me.”
Lily opened her eyes wide. “Now who needs to check their hormones at the door?”
“I’m just saying, it’s a shame that tight-assed white boy left before I could teach him a little bit about compound interests and deposits!”
Melanie slapped her friend’s arm. “Gloria! You tramp!”
“Hey, I call them like I see them!”
“Yeah, and right now you are seeing him naked with nothing but a deposit slip over his junk,” Lily said with a laugh, which was equally shared by her friends.
“Gives new meaning to the phrase, ‘junk bonds,’ doesn’t it?” Gloria retorted, without missing a beat.
The trio was laughing so hard, Lily almost didn’t hear the knock at the door. It surprised her to see Russell standing on the other side of the door.
“Lily, I’m sorry. Could I please start over?”
Lily saw Russell’s sincere look and just couldn’t say no. She opened the door wide and invited him in. Then she turned to her friends and yelled for their attention. “OK, ladies. Settle down. Everybody have their water intact?” The comment garnered a few chuckles. “OK, good. I’m going to give the floor to my friend, Russell. Now everybody, be nice.”
Russell approached the podium, but this time with nothing but confidence and a smile. “Good morning, ladies. So many beautiful glowing faces, I feel like I’m basking in the sun.”
While there were a few appreciative nods and, there were some groans, which made Russell chuckle instead of get anxious. “That’s OK, ladies. It was hokey.”
Another knock at the door caught Lily by surprise. But before she could get up, Russell stopped her. “Please, I know who that is. Allow me.”
Russell opened the door as two Donut Express employees came inside carrying mini-bagels, muffins, donut holes, and a couple of half-gallon containers of milk and orange juice. They set-up the spread on a table, complete with napkins, plates and appropriate cutlery. “Ladies, please enjoy some bite size snacks for you and your little ones to be. And then we’ll get started.”
As the woman got up, Lily tapped the young man on the shoulder. “Well done, Russell. Feeding the natives before seizing their land?”
“More like seizing their attention. Besides, Lily, it was the least I could do. I was standing in the hallway thinking about how stupid I looked when I came in. I remember seeing the doughnut place next door, and thought if they could get some stuff here quick, it might actually look like I know what the hell I am doing and that I give a damn about these nice people who gave up a Saturday morning to here me talk.”
“So you set this whole thing up while you were standing in the hallway?”
“Yeah,” he said sheepishly. “I guess being around all you pregnant women kind of inspired me to take a pregnant pause and reevaluate the situation.”
“Well good for you.”
“Yeah, and … about what I said about being chunky.”
“You don’t get out of that so easy. You owe me lunch, numbnuts.”
“Yes ma’am. Absolutely.”
With that, Lily grabbed a muffin and a cup of milk and went to her seat. Russell stood at the podium, took out some paper and cleared his throat. Nothing to be nervous about - they’re just pregnant, not fragile, breakable objects.
“Ladies, let me formally introduce myself. I’m Russell Gomez, and I’d like to talk about financial planning.”
“OH MY GOD! I THINK MY WATER BROKE!”
For some reason, Russell felt compelled to rush to the woman’s aide, even though he hadn’t a clue what it really meant when a woman’s water broke.
What it meant was a puddle emerged from the woman and she would be delivering fairly soon.
When the ambulance arrived, Russell would have helped the paramedics get the woman on the gurney and get her on her way. But there was the whole issue of Russell’s broken leg and back spasms.
As Russell was lying on his back staring at the ceiling, the young man had another brilliant notion during a pregnant pause.
“My water broke” should be synonymous for “slippery when wet.”
END
by JellybeanChiChi
The following is the September week three entry for Brigits_Flame. The prompt was pregnant. Thanks for Ruth and Margaret for the beta and suggestions.
“Excuse me,” Russell said as he stopped an office worker who pushed a cart with cleaning supplies and a large garbage can. “Umm, I’m looking for room 2B and I can’t find it.”
The worker gave the young man a strange look. “Son, there ain’t but four rooms in this building, and none of them are marked with a letter. You want either 1 or 2 or 3 or 4.”
“I’m pretty sure I’m looking for 2B,” Russell replied, as he checked his notes again while still holding his leather attaché. He showed the note to the man. “See? Summerlin Office Park, and I wrote 2B.”
The man didn’t even look at the note. “You looking for a meeting or something?”
“Yes. I’m actually giving a financial presentation - estate planning, savings. You know if you’re interested…”
“Well, I’m going to bet that whichever these four rooms has a bunch of people in it, that will be the room you need to be in.” And with that, he rolled his eyes and walked away.
Russell walked to each room and peeked into the windows on the doors. He spotted a familiar face in the last room. “Room 4? How did I get that wrong?”
He stepped inside and was immediately shocked at the site in front of him. A dozen very pregnant women all dressed in stretchable cotton.
While he stood dumbstruck, that familiar face from the window approached him and tried to jolt him out of his stupor.
“Russell. Russell! What’s the matter with you?” asked Lily Flemming.
“I.. ah… Hey Lily. Umm… what’s going on here?”
“What do you mean, what’s going on? You agreed to do a presentation for my Moms to Be group.”
“Moms to Be?” Russell started putting the pieces together. He was a junior member of his office’s financial group. Lily, who serves as his boss’ personal assistant, offered to have Russell come to one of her outside-work meetings to boost his client list. Never in a million years would he think the after-hours meeting would be a pregnant women’s group.
Lily could almost gauge the 25-year-old’s train of thought. “What did you think I meant when I said, ‘Moms to Be?’”
“I thought it was a group of mothers who meet in room 2B.”
Lily stood with her hands supporting her lower back. Her protruding stomach closed the gap between the two. “Russell, you do know I’m seven months pregnant, right?”
Russell’s face turned beet red. “Well… ummm.”
“Russell, answer my question!”
“Well, … NO. OK. Happy? … I just thought you were getting a little… chunky, that’s all. And it’s not like I could say that to you.”
Lily stood there silent, but Russell wasn’t stupid; he felt the daggers shooting from Lily’s eyes. And before he knew it, Lily grabbed his left arm and pinched hard the sensitive skin on the backside of his bicep. Russell wanted to yelp, but flaring nostrils and demonic eyes caused him to shut his mouth.
Lily continued the hold on Russell as she led him to a secluded corner of the room. “OH,” she said in a very loud whisper, “so you thought you coming here was doing the fat office girl a favor!” She accentuated her point with another rough pinch and topped it with a twist.”
“OUCH! Jesus, Lily! Take it easy! Give a guy a break!”
“A BREAK! I am giving you a break by letting you come here and try to get more clients, you moron! What’s the matter with you? Did you take the short bus on the way here or are you naturally this dense?!”
He knew nothing he could say would remedy the situation, and yet… “It’s just… I didn’t even know you were with a guy…”
Now it was time for the finger in the face. “First of all, I’ve been married for seven years, and you’d know that by the WEDDING BAND on my left hand, not to mention the 14 photos lining the wall of my cubicle.”
“You’re right. You’re absolutely right. I’m sorry, Lily. I’m an idiot. I’m so sorry.”
Lily couldn’t believe this guy. “Well, are you going to make your presentation or what?”
“Yeah, right… Of course. All I have to do is put my stuff down.”
Russell skulked as he made his way to the podium in front of the seated women. It would seem Lily’s and Russell’s conversation/confrontation was floating around the room through the women’s whispers. Russell perused the room again, trying to ground himself, but all he could think of was, “God, I have never see so many huge tits in one place that didn’t have a stripper pole.” Although he chuckled at his inner monologue, his little joke did nothing to alleviate the tension he felt in the room.
Russell took a deep breath, opened his briefcase, smiled …
And left the room.
Lily looked up at the ceiling and pursed her lips so she wouldn’t curse out loud. But it didn’t stop the cursing in her head. “I’m going to kill that little fuck wad.”
Although he left the room, Russell didn’t leave the building. He paced down the hallway in front of room 4. “How could I be so stupid?!”
Should he leave? He couldn’t go back in there. Not after humiliating himself. …
Inside room 4, a couple of Lily’s friends, Melanie and Gloria, approached her. “What happened? Performance anxiety?” Melanie asked, a definite air of concern in her voice.
Lily shook her head. “I don’t know what’s wrong with the little prick.”
“Lily, hon, remember your blood pressure,” Melanie said.
“Yeah, careful dear. Don’t be consumed by those nasty hormones of yours, Lil. It’s making you be too hard on the boy,” Gloria said. “Although I wouldn’t mind that boy’s hard body on me.”
Lily opened her eyes wide. “Now who needs to check their hormones at the door?”
“I’m just saying, it’s a shame that tight-assed white boy left before I could teach him a little bit about compound interests and deposits!”
Melanie slapped her friend’s arm. “Gloria! You tramp!”
“Hey, I call them like I see them!”
“Yeah, and right now you are seeing him naked with nothing but a deposit slip over his junk,” Lily said with a laugh, which was equally shared by her friends.
“Gives new meaning to the phrase, ‘junk bonds,’ doesn’t it?” Gloria retorted, without missing a beat.
The trio was laughing so hard, Lily almost didn’t hear the knock at the door. It surprised her to see Russell standing on the other side of the door.
“Lily, I’m sorry. Could I please start over?”
Lily saw Russell’s sincere look and just couldn’t say no. She opened the door wide and invited him in. Then she turned to her friends and yelled for their attention. “OK, ladies. Settle down. Everybody have their water intact?” The comment garnered a few chuckles. “OK, good. I’m going to give the floor to my friend, Russell. Now everybody, be nice.”
Russell approached the podium, but this time with nothing but confidence and a smile. “Good morning, ladies. So many beautiful glowing faces, I feel like I’m basking in the sun.”
While there were a few appreciative nods and, there were some groans, which made Russell chuckle instead of get anxious. “That’s OK, ladies. It was hokey.”
Another knock at the door caught Lily by surprise. But before she could get up, Russell stopped her. “Please, I know who that is. Allow me.”
Russell opened the door as two Donut Express employees came inside carrying mini-bagels, muffins, donut holes, and a couple of half-gallon containers of milk and orange juice. They set-up the spread on a table, complete with napkins, plates and appropriate cutlery. “Ladies, please enjoy some bite size snacks for you and your little ones to be. And then we’ll get started.”
As the woman got up, Lily tapped the young man on the shoulder. “Well done, Russell. Feeding the natives before seizing their land?”
“More like seizing their attention. Besides, Lily, it was the least I could do. I was standing in the hallway thinking about how stupid I looked when I came in. I remember seeing the doughnut place next door, and thought if they could get some stuff here quick, it might actually look like I know what the hell I am doing and that I give a damn about these nice people who gave up a Saturday morning to here me talk.”
“So you set this whole thing up while you were standing in the hallway?”
“Yeah,” he said sheepishly. “I guess being around all you pregnant women kind of inspired me to take a pregnant pause and reevaluate the situation.”
“Well good for you.”
“Yeah, and … about what I said about being chunky.”
“You don’t get out of that so easy. You owe me lunch, numbnuts.”
“Yes ma’am. Absolutely.”
With that, Lily grabbed a muffin and a cup of milk and went to her seat. Russell stood at the podium, took out some paper and cleared his throat. Nothing to be nervous about - they’re just pregnant, not fragile, breakable objects.
“Ladies, let me formally introduce myself. I’m Russell Gomez, and I’d like to talk about financial planning.”
“OH MY GOD! I THINK MY WATER BROKE!”
For some reason, Russell felt compelled to rush to the woman’s aide, even though he hadn’t a clue what it really meant when a woman’s water broke.
What it meant was a puddle emerged from the woman and she would be delivering fairly soon.
When the ambulance arrived, Russell would have helped the paramedics get the woman on the gurney and get her on her way. But there was the whole issue of Russell’s broken leg and back spasms.
As Russell was lying on his back staring at the ceiling, the young man had another brilliant notion during a pregnant pause.
“My water broke” should be synonymous for “slippery when wet.”
END