ARMORED

Aug 26, 2010 16:36

ARMORED
August 13 2010, DVD, home living room, from Netflix

If it tells you anything about how good this movie is, I forgot I hadn't reviewed it yet until just now. I watched this because Milo Ventimiglia is in it, and for no other reason. It contains Milo, which means that it was more or less satisfying. He plays a cop that gets gut-shot and screams a lot, circumstances which increased my satisfaction. Otherwise, this is a pedestrian paint-by-numbers heist-gone-wrong movie that doesn't do much to increase Milo's standing as an actor of promise, so I might as well just give up on that idea and settle in to wait until he becomes a journeyman TV director or something.

Featuring Matt Dillon, father-of-the-pornstar Lawrence Fishburne, Jean Reno, Skeet Ulrich (I know, I know) and some nobodies named Aumary Nolasco and Columbus Short, the latter of whom is unfortunately the protagonist caught in a bad situation. There's nothing really wrong with ARMORED; but there's no particular reason for it to exist, either. There's one really good car crash in it, but it takes a long time to happen, and is nothing that you couldn't see on an average episode of 24.

Damn you, Milo.

stupid but enjoyable, asskicking, home, netflix, hotness viewing, cops, pg-13, dvd, action, don't bother, drama

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