give me my negatives already!
me = frustrated.
here's why:
i was married nine months ago. a friend of mine photographed the wedding. she agreed to do the work for $500. we paid her $600 instead. she was a major help to me on the wedding day- helping with flowers the night before... all kinds of stuff. anyway, she processed the first 10 rolls of film for us. she gave us the proofs, and said she'd get the negatives to me. we paid for the rest of the rolls- i even took them to the lab myself. the black and whites she took didn't come out- but i paid the $50 for those rolls anyway b/c it wasn't a lab error, it was a mechanical error with her camera. i told her about it, but she didn't offer to reimburse me. i didn't persue it- it wasn't worth it to me to make an issue of it. months go by, and we still don't have the negatives to the first set of proofs she processed. i've asked a number of times, and have always been understanding of her schedule, her disorganization at home and feeling overwhelmed by it (one of the reasons i still don't have them is because she can't seem to find them), and have even offered to go over to her place to help her look for them. twice i have mentioned that i was becoming frustrated, and she became defensive, so i backed off (the first time about a month ago, the second time tonight). she's told me she'd have them by such-and-such date, but has never lived up to those promises. she's a good friend, and i want to treat her as a friend first, vendor second, y'know what i mean? i _know_ she's been going through some shit, but so have i. i don't feel that it's an acceptable excuse any longer.
so anyway, tonight i talked to her and mentioned that i would like to know when she had time for me to come over to help her look and that i was becoming frustrated because she hasn't communicated with me about the situation. she said it's only been a few weeks, at which i pointed out that in actuality, it's been months. i told her i feel hurt because although this doesn't need to be her TOP priority, i feel like she doesn't care about it at all. she became defensive and said that i should just tell her that i want my negatives instead of drawing out the conversation. um, HELLO? I'VE BEEN DOING THAT AND IT HASN'T WORKED! i told her i thought that was really unfair of her. she doesn't need to get defensive, just accept responsibility and take care of it. i also said that i wasn't going to get into an argument with her and that she should just call me when she has time to look for the negatives.
at this point, i doubt she even has them. what the fuck do i do then? our friendship is on shakey ground- not because of the negatives, but because she has been so disrespectful and hasn't once aknowleged my patience in this issue. instead, she actually gets upset with ME for venturing to express my frustration. evidently, i'm only supposed to say i'm frustrated, i'm not supposed to explain that frustration. i just feel like she's being incredibly rude and unprofessional (i DID pay her, and a deal is a deal!) by putting this back on me. i don't like to nag at her, but not nagging hasn't helped either.
i'm angry because i'm hurt. i'm hurt because i feel she is taking advantage of our friendship (i've worked all day for her on photoshoots for free, even when she'd promised a payment- that never happened). i'm really at a loss about what to do next. do i call her back (and risk her getting angry at me for being "pushy") so that i can go help look for the negs even though i'm upset and feel that she should be following up with me? do i wait for her to call me? do i kiss off the negatives TO MY WEDDING?
*sigh*
here's why:
i was married nine months ago. a friend of mine photographed the wedding. she agreed to do the work for $500. we paid her $600 instead. she was a major help to me on the wedding day- helping with flowers the night before... all kinds of stuff. anyway, she processed the first 10 rolls of film for us. she gave us the proofs, and said she'd get the negatives to me. we paid for the rest of the rolls- i even took them to the lab myself. the black and whites she took didn't come out- but i paid the $50 for those rolls anyway b/c it wasn't a lab error, it was a mechanical error with her camera. i told her about it, but she didn't offer to reimburse me. i didn't persue it- it wasn't worth it to me to make an issue of it. months go by, and we still don't have the negatives to the first set of proofs she processed. i've asked a number of times, and have always been understanding of her schedule, her disorganization at home and feeling overwhelmed by it (one of the reasons i still don't have them is because she can't seem to find them), and have even offered to go over to her place to help her look for them. twice i have mentioned that i was becoming frustrated, and she became defensive, so i backed off (the first time about a month ago, the second time tonight). she's told me she'd have them by such-and-such date, but has never lived up to those promises. she's a good friend, and i want to treat her as a friend first, vendor second, y'know what i mean? i _know_ she's been going through some shit, but so have i. i don't feel that it's an acceptable excuse any longer.
so anyway, tonight i talked to her and mentioned that i would like to know when she had time for me to come over to help her look and that i was becoming frustrated because she hasn't communicated with me about the situation. she said it's only been a few weeks, at which i pointed out that in actuality, it's been months. i told her i feel hurt because although this doesn't need to be her TOP priority, i feel like she doesn't care about it at all. she became defensive and said that i should just tell her that i want my negatives instead of drawing out the conversation. um, HELLO? I'VE BEEN DOING THAT AND IT HASN'T WORKED! i told her i thought that was really unfair of her. she doesn't need to get defensive, just accept responsibility and take care of it. i also said that i wasn't going to get into an argument with her and that she should just call me when she has time to look for the negatives.
at this point, i doubt she even has them. what the fuck do i do then? our friendship is on shakey ground- not because of the negatives, but because she has been so disrespectful and hasn't once aknowleged my patience in this issue. instead, she actually gets upset with ME for venturing to express my frustration. evidently, i'm only supposed to say i'm frustrated, i'm not supposed to explain that frustration. i just feel like she's being incredibly rude and unprofessional (i DID pay her, and a deal is a deal!) by putting this back on me. i don't like to nag at her, but not nagging hasn't helped either.
i'm angry because i'm hurt. i'm hurt because i feel she is taking advantage of our friendship (i've worked all day for her on photoshoots for free, even when she'd promised a payment- that never happened). i'm really at a loss about what to do next. do i call her back (and risk her getting angry at me for being "pushy") so that i can go help look for the negs even though i'm upset and feel that she should be following up with me? do i wait for her to call me? do i kiss off the negatives TO MY WEDDING?
*sigh*