Find a hatchet, and a close-by grocery store with pumpkins.
Conceal the hatchet under your clothes. Put on a ski mask and gloves. Put a few dollars in your pocket.
Go in the grocery store. Find a pumpkin. Put the purchase price of the pumpkin on the floor, plus sales tax and any gratuity you might want to leave.
Take out the hatchet. Start hacking at the pumpkin. I suggest simultaneously screaming "DIE, FUCKER, DIE!!!" as loudly as possible.
When you're done (I suggest making it as quick as possible), lay the hatchet on the floor and walk quickly out of the store. Lose yourself in crowds or traffic.
When it's safe, take off the ski mask, gloves, and any clothing you no longer want or need, or is identifiable, and burn it all. Flush the ashes down a toilet, making sure not to clog it.
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Conceal the hatchet under your clothes. Put on a ski mask and gloves. Put a few dollars in your pocket.
Go in the grocery store. Find a pumpkin. Put the purchase price of the pumpkin on the floor, plus sales tax and any gratuity you might want to leave.
Take out the hatchet. Start hacking at the pumpkin. I suggest simultaneously screaming "DIE, FUCKER, DIE!!!" as loudly as possible.
When you're done (I suggest making it as quick as possible), lay the hatchet on the floor and walk quickly out of the store. Lose yourself in crowds or traffic.
When it's safe, take off the ski mask, gloves, and any clothing you no longer want or need, or is identifiable, and burn it all. Flush the ashes down a toilet, making sure not to clog it.
Take a long, hot shower.
Relax.
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