i am a complete INSOMNIAC. i can't go to bed! and when i do sleep, i can't get out of bed. CAN'T. it took me an hour and a half to get out of bed today. pft ( Read more... )

friday night was interesting, to say the least.

when i got to curtis's house, he was waiting for me and had a few beers already. i sat with him and we drank a few more. what we were going to do was still up in the air. he wanted to go to mephistos, so that's where we went. i had a few shots of jack while i was getting ready, and a few more beers ( Read more... )

 i got my effin job back ( Read more... )

 so after a long dramatic week of being unemployed, i went to my job interview yesterday at SUBWAY and totally got the job ( Read more... )

stuck in this hole with the shit and the piss
and it's hard to believe it could come down to this
back at the beginning
sinking
spinning

***

i just can't help but think i make the worst decisions. i beat myself up, and second guess everything i do. when will i be confident in myself?

in other news, i'm thinking about becoming a CNA. just a thought. i'll ( Read more... )

 i feel like i've got nobody.nobody to reach to, nobody to confide in.

im angry, i'de like to lash out but my voice crumbles when i open my mouth.

im sad. i'de like to cry, but it makes me feel so fucking pathetic when i let it all out.

i'm all alone, and have been for 23 years. when will i learn how to deal with it?

this winter, 
just might be the one ( Read more... )

 zomg i have not had two seconds to myself in weeks ( Read more... )

i stand back and watch you slip away.
there's nothing i could do to save you.
you just fall through the cracks
you're so fucking lifeless at this point.
you used to be so beautiful to me.
i couldn't  save you, my beauty.
i just couldn't.
i have to learn to let go.

I moved some more of my shit today. Things are really starting to hit me. In less than two weeks my life will be completely turned upside down, and moving the shit out of my home really makes me realize that. I'm panicing. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING!? I've said that to myself a hundred times today. I've been so upset about it all day. There's no ( Read more... )

ahhhhhhhhh, i need to go to bed. why am i still up!? because i'm a maniac, that's why ( Read more... )