(no subject)
Title: I don't have any
Rating: PG-16
Genre: romance, angst, fluff
Disclaimer: It was inspired by part of some songs actually. Typed bold and italic are the part of the song.
Summary:They are close before but why all of a sudden they seem can't stand each other!
Tonight it's very clear coz we're both lying here. There's so many things I want to say. I will always love you. I will never leave you alone......
Sometimes I just forget, say things I might regret. It breaks my heart to see you crying
After a long heated argument.... here we are in each other's arms. Jin is still fully awaked. After a long passionate night with this person he never talked to like for ages. The man is already sleeping. His head is using my chest as his pillow. He doesn't know how this came about and where this would lead in the morning. But it seems he has a lot of thinking to do and he can't sleep because of that.
We are always close during our early days. Our senpais even named us AKAME because of our closeness. I would always prrotect Kame and the latter would want to be with me all the time. Our relationship seems to be perfect until fame gets in the way or so we thought.....Having individual projects got in our way. The everyday of being together lessens and we found new companies to be with.
We never had any arguments but it seems the communication is not that open anymore, where in we even have to choose our words when we talk to each other.. Even we are in the same group we chose different crowd. I mostly hangs out with Koki and my gang as what media refers to my friends. Kame on the other hand go out with Ueda and Nakamaru. And my 6 months hiatus help to build the invisible wall between us until we can't see and understand each other anymore. I don't know how to act when we are together off cam. Being in camera is work so I have to be professional. Thank God the group is consisted of 6 people so I can talk and mingle with others except him.
Until this came, we attended a birthday party of one staff of our show. Kame talks loudly and I felt irritated. I talk sarcastically and he replied with the same degree of sarcasm that the others don't where started. Then I reached my limit and drag Kame to my car put him in and drive fast away from the place. "Stop the car and get me off this at once" You shouted at me. "Will you be kind and shut up for a while? I am trying to think here!" You ignored me and continue ranting. "You just wanted to think and you drag me here as well?" I look for a place wher I can park and no one will notice us. Once and for all I decided to clear everything up so everybody will feel at peace whenever we are in the same room. I found one and decided to stop and Kame attempted to open the door but to no avail because the car is automatic. I already locked the doors coz I anticipated it will happen.
"Where do you think you're going", I ask immediately.
"Isn't it obvious? I am going out of this car so pls. unlock this god damn door!"
I sighed and remained quiet for sometime. I am just tired of being so angry for nothing. It consumes a lot of energy. It is the time to actually fix the relationship or totally break it.
"Why did we end up like this, Kame?"
That question hit Kame hard. He felt tired as well with this, where in he doesn't even know how to act normally when they are together in the same room. To be honest, he doesn't know either where and when it started. He just felt that a certain invisible wall is starting to build up until he can't see him anymore. But he thinks, this is the time to open up everything.
"I don't know either. All I know is that I hate you! I hate everything about you! I hate you so much that I want to punch you until you faint."
"I returned, didn't I?", Jin softly spoken.
That open a lot of wounds again for Kame. "That's not enough! You have hurted a lot of people and you didn't fix it when you returned and you just expect that everything will be fine when you came back into our life?"
"But everybody moved on, except you? Why can't you find in your heart to forgive me?" Jin asked him painfully.
"Because I bear everything when you left!" Kame broke down. All the feelings he buried from the deepest part of his heart that he made as a foundation to where he is now are bursting up. All of a sudden he he felt like wanting to remove all the hatred. He is tired of carrying all the weight. He has to discharge himself of all the hatred before it controls his life. "All the burden of making the group intact; all the blame when you left; having different individual projects that we should be sharing are suddenly given to my shoulder for me to carry. All of a sudden I felt so alone. The one who always protect me, left me all of a sudden. The only reason why I enjoyed being in Jimusho left me."
"But you told me it's fine" , confused Jin said.
"What do you supposed me to say? It is your dream to study the language so who I am to stop you?", Kame shouted.
J: "You are special to me for crying out loud! Didn't I told the whole world about it?"
K: "Then you announced that you are leaving us? Our relationship back then is falling apart and you told it on National T.V. not to me. So what do you expect me to believe?
J: You know that what I say whether it is on National T.V. is what I really feel for you!
K: I belive it. But when you drop the bomb about ypu leaving the group and me alone. I died immediately and was never fixed.
J: I thought during Sendai concert we are all fine already?
K: For Christ sake, because we are in front of our fans so we are supposed to be ok!
J: You really changed Kame. I don't know you anymore.
KL :You made me like this. You never taught me how to handle things myself. You are always there to encourage me when everybody seems to put me down. You are always taking the blame when there is something wrong. I felt so protected when you are there even we are not always together then you left me after debuting. I want to break down but they won't let me. They gave me a lot of projects. They taught me how to put a mask to cover all my miseries.
After all I have heard. I realized I have to tell him the truth. So we can be able to release ourselves from the miseries. He deserves to know the truth. So we can also start from a clean slate if he still wants to.
I am sorry, I thought that leaving you is the best for everybody.
K: Because you are only thinking of yourself!
"He found out about us. I was being scolded when I told the whole world how important you are to me. Johnny-san told me not to say such things in public. He even told me that if we continue whatever what we have not only KAT-TUN will be over but your career as well. I was so angry that he has to act so low for it. I fought for us but risking all of you is the very least things on my list. I told him to spare all of you. So he gave me the option to leave in return that he will make the gruop intact no matter what and will not harm most especially you." Jin confessed.
Kame was so shocked hearing this. But still hatred consumes him. He wants some proof. He believes him. God in his heart he believes every word this man is telling him now. He misses this side of Jin he is seeing now but still anger clouds his mind right now.
K: So who can confirm your story?
J: You can't come to Johnny or we are all doomed! I can't let anyone know! It is the agreement we have.
K: Not even Pi?
J: I won't let him get involve in this.........................................I thought I protected you from that old man. I never saw that in the end I am the one who hurted you the most.
To Kame's surprise Jin releases the lock of all the doors.
J: I know that everything will not go back to what it is before but at least we can start from scratch if you still like. I just don't want to get angry at you for nothing. It consumes a lot of energy. I know that everyone around us is affected as well. I want to move freely again. I release the lock already. You are free to leave. I will never hurt you again because I will never get near you unless work ask me to.I will never bug you anymore.
"If I'm not in love with you, what is this I'm going through?........If my heart is lying why sould I believe it?........If I don't need your touch, why do I miss you so much? ............Why is my heart aching to hold you forever? Give a part of me I thought I never give it to someone I could loose, if I am not in love with you.............Why every fantasy do I feel your arms embracing me like lovers do in sweet desire?....................................... Why do I want you like I do if I am not in love with you?
To Jin's surprise Kame grabs the neckline of his shrt and pressed his lips to him. Then he felt that Kame's lips moves to kiss him so hard and feverishly seeking for his response. He felt himself responding with the same intensity. They parted a bit to breathe for some air. Beforr Jin could start talking, Kame grabs his face and said: "shut up, kiss me and never let me go!"Jin obeys, grabs Kame by the waist so he can drag him and make him sit on his lap while their having a kissing frenzy.
"God I missed this" Kame says as he is now being consumed by the heat that the two of them are sharing. And his arms are around Jin's neck as he felt Jin's hands going inside his shirt and touching his torso.
Meanwhile at the party, Maru is already worried for the two. Ueda told him to calm down because they are already adults and they have to leave them alone to fix whatever they had broken. Thinking Ueda's point, Maru understand and just continue on having a blast.
They end up doing it on the side of the street in Tokyo. AKAME felt exhausted as they reack their peak but they didn't mid that they are still connected in a very passionate way. JIn positioned his seat so Kame will have a better space and will not heat the maneuvering wheel. Kame is still sitting on Jin's lap naked facing Jin's chest and Jin is still inside of him. And he leans his head on Jin's bared chest.
"Kazu, we better dress now or someone might see us."
"Can we stay like this for a while?" (Jin's heart melted by such request)
"If that's what you want"
Then he felt that Kame is already asleep. His body is exhausted but his mins is not that it refused to rest. He will have to think what he want to do about their relationship. Meanwhile he will just savour this moment seeing the sleeping Kame that he missed for a very long time. But one thins is clear to him that what ever happens he will not be deciding alone like what he did before.
THE END
Author's Note: I will let your imagination run wild on what happened between AKAME on the car. I won't go into details coz I find it very hard!
Rating: PG-16
Genre: romance, angst, fluff
Disclaimer: It was inspired by part of some songs actually. Typed bold and italic are the part of the song.
Summary:They are close before but why all of a sudden they seem can't stand each other!
Tonight it's very clear coz we're both lying here. There's so many things I want to say. I will always love you. I will never leave you alone......
Sometimes I just forget, say things I might regret. It breaks my heart to see you crying
After a long heated argument.... here we are in each other's arms. Jin is still fully awaked. After a long passionate night with this person he never talked to like for ages. The man is already sleeping. His head is using my chest as his pillow. He doesn't know how this came about and where this would lead in the morning. But it seems he has a lot of thinking to do and he can't sleep because of that.
We are always close during our early days. Our senpais even named us AKAME because of our closeness. I would always prrotect Kame and the latter would want to be with me all the time. Our relationship seems to be perfect until fame gets in the way or so we thought.....Having individual projects got in our way. The everyday of being together lessens and we found new companies to be with.
We never had any arguments but it seems the communication is not that open anymore, where in we even have to choose our words when we talk to each other.. Even we are in the same group we chose different crowd. I mostly hangs out with Koki and my gang as what media refers to my friends. Kame on the other hand go out with Ueda and Nakamaru. And my 6 months hiatus help to build the invisible wall between us until we can't see and understand each other anymore. I don't know how to act when we are together off cam. Being in camera is work so I have to be professional. Thank God the group is consisted of 6 people so I can talk and mingle with others except him.
Until this came, we attended a birthday party of one staff of our show. Kame talks loudly and I felt irritated. I talk sarcastically and he replied with the same degree of sarcasm that the others don't where started. Then I reached my limit and drag Kame to my car put him in and drive fast away from the place. "Stop the car and get me off this at once" You shouted at me. "Will you be kind and shut up for a while? I am trying to think here!" You ignored me and continue ranting. "You just wanted to think and you drag me here as well?" I look for a place wher I can park and no one will notice us. Once and for all I decided to clear everything up so everybody will feel at peace whenever we are in the same room. I found one and decided to stop and Kame attempted to open the door but to no avail because the car is automatic. I already locked the doors coz I anticipated it will happen.
"Where do you think you're going", I ask immediately.
"Isn't it obvious? I am going out of this car so pls. unlock this god damn door!"
I sighed and remained quiet for sometime. I am just tired of being so angry for nothing. It consumes a lot of energy. It is the time to actually fix the relationship or totally break it.
"Why did we end up like this, Kame?"
That question hit Kame hard. He felt tired as well with this, where in he doesn't even know how to act normally when they are together in the same room. To be honest, he doesn't know either where and when it started. He just felt that a certain invisible wall is starting to build up until he can't see him anymore. But he thinks, this is the time to open up everything.
"I don't know either. All I know is that I hate you! I hate everything about you! I hate you so much that I want to punch you until you faint."
"I returned, didn't I?", Jin softly spoken.
That open a lot of wounds again for Kame. "That's not enough! You have hurted a lot of people and you didn't fix it when you returned and you just expect that everything will be fine when you came back into our life?"
"But everybody moved on, except you? Why can't you find in your heart to forgive me?" Jin asked him painfully.
"Because I bear everything when you left!" Kame broke down. All the feelings he buried from the deepest part of his heart that he made as a foundation to where he is now are bursting up. All of a sudden he he felt like wanting to remove all the hatred. He is tired of carrying all the weight. He has to discharge himself of all the hatred before it controls his life. "All the burden of making the group intact; all the blame when you left; having different individual projects that we should be sharing are suddenly given to my shoulder for me to carry. All of a sudden I felt so alone. The one who always protect me, left me all of a sudden. The only reason why I enjoyed being in Jimusho left me."
"But you told me it's fine" , confused Jin said.
"What do you supposed me to say? It is your dream to study the language so who I am to stop you?", Kame shouted.
J: "You are special to me for crying out loud! Didn't I told the whole world about it?"
K: "Then you announced that you are leaving us? Our relationship back then is falling apart and you told it on National T.V. not to me. So what do you expect me to believe?
J: You know that what I say whether it is on National T.V. is what I really feel for you!
K: I belive it. But when you drop the bomb about ypu leaving the group and me alone. I died immediately and was never fixed.
J: I thought during Sendai concert we are all fine already?
K: For Christ sake, because we are in front of our fans so we are supposed to be ok!
J: You really changed Kame. I don't know you anymore.
KL :You made me like this. You never taught me how to handle things myself. You are always there to encourage me when everybody seems to put me down. You are always taking the blame when there is something wrong. I felt so protected when you are there even we are not always together then you left me after debuting. I want to break down but they won't let me. They gave me a lot of projects. They taught me how to put a mask to cover all my miseries.
After all I have heard. I realized I have to tell him the truth. So we can be able to release ourselves from the miseries. He deserves to know the truth. So we can also start from a clean slate if he still wants to.
I am sorry, I thought that leaving you is the best for everybody.
K: Because you are only thinking of yourself!
"He found out about us. I was being scolded when I told the whole world how important you are to me. Johnny-san told me not to say such things in public. He even told me that if we continue whatever what we have not only KAT-TUN will be over but your career as well. I was so angry that he has to act so low for it. I fought for us but risking all of you is the very least things on my list. I told him to spare all of you. So he gave me the option to leave in return that he will make the gruop intact no matter what and will not harm most especially you." Jin confessed.
Kame was so shocked hearing this. But still hatred consumes him. He wants some proof. He believes him. God in his heart he believes every word this man is telling him now. He misses this side of Jin he is seeing now but still anger clouds his mind right now.
K: So who can confirm your story?
J: You can't come to Johnny or we are all doomed! I can't let anyone know! It is the agreement we have.
K: Not even Pi?
J: I won't let him get involve in this.........................................I thought I protected you from that old man. I never saw that in the end I am the one who hurted you the most.
To Kame's surprise Jin releases the lock of all the doors.
J: I know that everything will not go back to what it is before but at least we can start from scratch if you still like. I just don't want to get angry at you for nothing. It consumes a lot of energy. I know that everyone around us is affected as well. I want to move freely again. I release the lock already. You are free to leave. I will never hurt you again because I will never get near you unless work ask me to.I will never bug you anymore.
"If I'm not in love with you, what is this I'm going through?........If my heart is lying why sould I believe it?........If I don't need your touch, why do I miss you so much? ............Why is my heart aching to hold you forever? Give a part of me I thought I never give it to someone I could loose, if I am not in love with you.............Why every fantasy do I feel your arms embracing me like lovers do in sweet desire?....................................... Why do I want you like I do if I am not in love with you?
To Jin's surprise Kame grabs the neckline of his shrt and pressed his lips to him. Then he felt that Kame's lips moves to kiss him so hard and feverishly seeking for his response. He felt himself responding with the same intensity. They parted a bit to breathe for some air. Beforr Jin could start talking, Kame grabs his face and said: "shut up, kiss me and never let me go!"Jin obeys, grabs Kame by the waist so he can drag him and make him sit on his lap while their having a kissing frenzy.
"God I missed this" Kame says as he is now being consumed by the heat that the two of them are sharing. And his arms are around Jin's neck as he felt Jin's hands going inside his shirt and touching his torso.
Meanwhile at the party, Maru is already worried for the two. Ueda told him to calm down because they are already adults and they have to leave them alone to fix whatever they had broken. Thinking Ueda's point, Maru understand and just continue on having a blast.
They end up doing it on the side of the street in Tokyo. AKAME felt exhausted as they reack their peak but they didn't mid that they are still connected in a very passionate way. JIn positioned his seat so Kame will have a better space and will not heat the maneuvering wheel. Kame is still sitting on Jin's lap naked facing Jin's chest and Jin is still inside of him. And he leans his head on Jin's bared chest.
"Kazu, we better dress now or someone might see us."
"Can we stay like this for a while?" (Jin's heart melted by such request)
"If that's what you want"
Then he felt that Kame is already asleep. His body is exhausted but his mins is not that it refused to rest. He will have to think what he want to do about their relationship. Meanwhile he will just savour this moment seeing the sleeping Kame that he missed for a very long time. But one thins is clear to him that what ever happens he will not be deciding alone like what he did before.
THE END
Author's Note: I will let your imagination run wild on what happened between AKAME on the car. I won't go into details coz I find it very hard!