i know that, but this change is bad esp. right now. i don't want this change, i want things back to the way they were with him. this is so hard for me and it bothers me that it doesn't seem to bother him or even matter to him. i think that is what upsets me the most. i miss him a lot and now that i have been hanging with his sister it just reminds me even more, but i like hanging out with her and her kids. her kids love me. hehe. it's just really hard to keep having hope for something that i fear isn't gonna change -sighs and cries-
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