So thinking about something thta my mother kind of threw out on the table a while back, and I've come to a realzation. I am done with many things in my life. I am tired of just being me and not having that be enough for anyone. I want to be looked at, and just looked past. I want to part of something great, and I want someone to be by my side ( Read more... )

So I had a conversation with the boy tonight and made him upset, God, why do I keep doing that?  I want to make him happy and all that I seem to be causing him is grief....I hate being the cause of anyones grief...especially his.  I really like him and don't want to continue making him pissed at me, but what can I do?  I truly like him, and I know ( Read more... )

It's my fault tthat I choose the emotionally unavailable ones; the ones that lie and tell me what they feel I would like to hear, then leave.

The ones that break my heart and yet seem like such nice guys in the beginning....in the beginning though.

My heart is a fragile and strong thing I have learned.

As many guys as I think it's alright to ( Read more... )

I fully understand that I am a bitch when it comes to Holiday Inn, but with all of the bs that they put me through I have every right to be.  But at least it's helping me to spend more quality time with my new boy....tee hee!  Came in to do audit tonight and noticed that the schedule had been changed...again.  But this time it kinda helps me out, ( Read more... )

Are often best when the outcome is good, but never-the-less fun even when they don't.  Took a random road trip to see the current crush and it didn't turn out too well...my fault tho I didn't tell him I was heading out that way.  He had even told me his fone wasn't working since (while drunk in Vegas) he dropped it in the pool.  NERD!  lol  Drunken ( Read more... )

The way that he holds me remindsme of a time that I used to feel complete, and happy---blissfully happy.

His kisses seem to tell me that they are more than just the typical fling type of kiss.

The way he seeks me out just to hold or hug me tells me that there just may be something more out there in him than even he's ready to admit.

I allow ( Read more... )

And just felt sad and couldn't explain why?  I did that today and I don't know whats wrong.  I have so many good things going on in my life right now that there really is no reason for me to be upset.  I have two good jobs (minus the drama holiday inn really is good), an awesome family, a few select friends that care deeply about me, and a new guy ( Read more... )

I can't keep doing this to myself.  I keep thinking there is something there when there isn't.  Its just a mirage...my wants and needs coming out too soon and then I'm left holding myself and kicking myself when I knew from the beginning that there wasn't ever going to be a happy ending for me.  There never is.

I mislead myself into believing ( Read more... )

So Scott came up. Friday was kinda a bust, but we still had fun. Randy came up, those two did not get along...Randy was well....Randy. A typical nerd, and Scott and Vince told me that they both can tell that Randy STILL has the hots for me, but he has no chance. He's not my type, and I like my guys to be way more outgoing and much more ( Read more... )

Will be so much fun!!! Scot comes up tomorrow nite...his train arrives at SB station around 9:30pm! YIPPEEEEE So I began talking to this guy and he seems really wonderful. Still not giving it my all, for all of the obvious reasons, but he seems like he might be a good guy. Buit then again I also thought that about my other two loves, and ( Read more... )