Okay, so I didnt bother commenting on last week's episode because (a) I was having fun in London, and (b) it was just blah, for me. As big a fan as I am, it was just blah.
BUT. They totally upped the ante in this episode!! I was totally psyched by all the buzz by the people who saw it on air, and MAN.
Best lines ever, in this episode. I mean, really. A variety of samples:
"Like the one where I'm Gossip Girl?" - Eric, about the insane rumours flying around. This was so meta, I died.
"I'm so queer, I'm gonna pop your sister's cherry tonight." - Asher, to Dan. Maaaannn, he seemed like such a sweetie. This blew my mind.
"I didnt like last season's Louis Vuitton's patchwork bag either, but that doesnt mean I want to see it all over town on Jenny Humphrey's arm." - Blair, explaining why Asher and Jenny bother her. This is awesome in so many ways, because (a) it's so Blair and (b) I hated that bag too.
"Let me remind you of a little promise you made: Dont go to France. I'll be there for you." - Blair, to Serena. Her delivery of this was just perfect, perfect, perfect.
"And...she dissed my pants." - Dan. God, I just love it when boys cant help being girly.
"If Serena's indiscretions had been as PG as Jenny's, I wouldnt have needed the Botox." - Lily. HOW AWESOME IS IT THAT SHE ADMITS IT? and so easily too.
"Now you know how Vanessa Hudgens feels." - Hazel. Okay, I must admit, I not-so-secretly heart Zac Efron. But this made me laugh so hard.
"You went to third?" - Elise; "No, he did." - Jenny. As much as I hate her, I kind of love this line, and how she delivered it. Even though it was totally FAKE.
"Maybe his lacrosse stick isnt the only thing he plays with?" - Nelly Yuki, re: Asher. Self-explanatory!
"Didn't anyone tell you, Little J? You shouldn't give away the ending if you want him to pick up the book again." - Gossip Girl. She comes up with the best shit, ever.
"It's private." - Jenny; "...It's on the internet." - Dan. God, Jenny, you are such an idiot. ILU for that moment, Dan.
"To think, I almost asked you to wear a matching dress tonight." - Isabel, to Jenny. omg. I died.
"Dont look so sad, Little J. The sun will come out tomorrow. Even though your boyfriend did today." - Gossip Girl. HOW MUCH DO I LOVE YOU, GG.
And THE BEST LINES EVER:
Blair: "We're sisters. You're my family. What is you is me. There's nothing you could ever say to make me let go. I love you. What is it?"
Serena: "I killed someone."
I knew that ending was coming, cause I'm an idiot who cant wait three hours and spoils myself, but! OMFG. I kinda called it, cause I figured the worst secret ever would be...well, exactly that. Sex tapes are so three years ago, or whenever it was that Paris Hilton made a splash.
But Leighton Meester was so on point with Blair this whole episode, even though she looked distressed the entire time (I thought she would have been more gleeful about taking Jenny down - I would've been.) and god I love her so much its unhealthy. The ending completely blew me away, even though I kind of kept thinking "well, nothing except sleeping with Nate...", who BTW was missing from this ep WHY????
Back to Blair, yes. She wore the most gorgeous outfit to crash Jenny's party, and how badly do I want that pearl bracelet-chain-necklace thing she's got going on????! Plus she had great little moments throughout - throwing a dime at Little J, telling Serena off for blowing her off, caring about Eric, and that entire bit with Serena at the end. Admittedly at first I thought she could've been more emotional in her body language but then I thought about it and well, girl is freaked. Her best friend shows up in the middle of the night crying about something she wont tell - her fluttering about is real.
As for the BFF in question, Serena started looking very puffy-eyed from Eric's outing on out - I'm guessing it was all the crying? But I just wanted her to stand up and bitchslap Georgina. My only happiness was that she ran to Blair in the end, because (a) that's what BFFs are for, (b) it's about effing time!, and (c) Blair is totally going to take that bitch down and it's going to be SO AWESOME TO WATCH.
Eric was awesome, even though his woodenness (woodsen, ha!) which has always annoyed me, annoyed me a bit more today. He finally has a storyline! Of his own! He could show some emotion. But still, the part where he tried to talk to Jenny (and she was a total bitch), and then when he confronted Asher, and told Blair to out them - I wanted to pet him.
Rufus/Lily!! You are my Humphrey/van der Woodsen OTP. I secretly want you two to get together so that Dan can date Blair, hee.
Jenny totally deserved EVERYTHING this week. But man, she totally inherited the same self-righteous genes that Dan got, because going to Blair on a high horse after everything was just .... She's a first-class bitch, but not in the awesome way that B is. Assuming that Eric had a crush on her, telling Dan he's second-rate to Asher, yelling at Rufus, pretending she's not a virgin (though she'll never get laid!)...I wanted to throw her off a roof. I must say though, my second favourite part with Jenny in a scene is when she's all *hearts* over Asher, and thinking he's into her (hee. not happening.) because, hello? FORESHADOWING. and right to my first-favourite part which is when Asher is all "...are you suddenly not happy with our arrangement?" like she should have known all along she was a beard.
I was WTF about Nelly Yuki suddenly being in, but she's just totally being a Kati replacement, which makes me laugh, cause they're not even subtle about it.
Anyway, this was an awesome episode, with Blair rocking out. What did everyone else think??
xo xo!