All I want for Christmas: The Second Letter
Title: All I want for Christmas: The Second Letter (P2)
Rating: PG
Summary: "Alright you red suit wearing, reindeer flying, sack toting, one hit wonder. No one messes with Alexander LaVelle Harris!"
Alright you red suit wearing, reindeer flying, sack toting, one hit wonder. No one messes with Alexander LaVelle Harris!
I mean, c’mon! In what universe is the acceptable response to a personal revelation of almost apocalyptic proportions to mess with a guy’s head? I get it must be pretty quiet for you 11 months of the year and all, but I don’t really think it’s fair to take that out on me. Seriously, if this is the way you treat people it’s no wonder you have to bribe kids with presents just so they’ll notice you exist.
Now I know there is the possibility you didn’t realize just how nuts you’ve driven me and this is all some laugh-at-the-little-man amusement for you and if that’s the case then just knock it off already. If that’s not it and you really are trying to drive me insane... well get in line bucko! I been a little bit ‘round the twist a long time and you’re not going to be the one to put me in the funny farm for good.
I don’t know if it’s your sick sense of humor or just Spike being even more Spike-like than usual, but when I asked for less contempt for Christmas, that generally means laying off the snarky comments, not piling them on like they’re going out of fashion or something.
Of course now that I’ve made with the yelling - or the very strongly worded comments anyway - I realize there is also the possibility that none of this was you and you’re just an innocent, and fictional, bystander. Uh, if that is the case... sorry.
And the more I think about it the more I realise it’s incredibly likely you had nothing to do with this. I really am sorry if that’s true. I’m not trying to be the mean-green-grinch-machine here I’m just... tired.
I don’t really ever expect Spike to look at me and proclaim his undying love. Ignoring the fact that I would immediately ask Willow to quit it already with the Will-Be-Done spells, it’s not Spike’s style. I mean, I know he was all “eyeballs-to-entrails” with Drusilla (and let’s not get into the fact that I find the mass murdering-ness of them sweet because honestly, who wouldn’t find it incredibly flattering to know that their other half would literally kill for them. I’m pretty sure Spike would have walked into the sun for her and I think I’ve gotten slightly off topic...). Oh! Right, Spike’s style. Yeah, I’m pretty sure the scary but sweet devotion was a one time deal, I can’t really imagine him being like that for anyone else, let alone a Happy Meal on Legs, and let’s face it that’s all I really am. Not that I’m complaining on the whole being human factor or anything. I like the heartbeat and breathing thing. It’s just...
Hell I don’t even know what I’m trying to say any more. It’d be nice to have someone think I’m worth killing over, y’know? Not that I’d like someone to actually kill and say they did it for me! SO not tempting the fates with THAT little comment! But the devotion... it’s... awe inspiring is the only way I can think to describe it, but that sounds stupid. I’m figuring the Santa powers of deduction are going to help me out here so that at least one of us knows what I mean.
Anyway, all cranky-Xan and pathetic-Xan aside, it’d be really cool if I could have no more hell-mouthy things happen for a while, including magically re-appearing letters. Since I know the previous letter’s request really isn’t likely to happen can I make that my Christmas wish instead?
Thanks Santa,
X