fic: (Ment) Rainbow Tales - Part 9
Part One - Red
Part Two - Orange
Part Three - Yellow
Part Four - Green
Part Five - Blue
Part Six - Indigo
Part Seven - Violet
Part Eight - White
SILVER - Of Stars And Dreams
Loosely connected to "Indigo", but it's not really a sequel.
The nightmares had started about two weeks ago. They came out of nowhere, were suddenly there and tortured her. And Teresa Lisbon, though she racked her brain over it, couldn't find a reason, an explanation for the surreal, horrific pictures her mind created every night. She only knew that it made her life, and more so, her work, a lot harder. She lacked of precious sleep, and not being fully concentrated because of sleep deprivation could kill her sooner or later.
She had been lucky lately, as their recent cases were rather easy to solve. But this was still the Serious Crime Unit, and they would get a serious, and a more complicated case. She feared that moment; she feared the outcome.
Lisbon knew she should go and see a doctor. It would be the best not only for her, but for all of them. She put her team in danger as well. Nevertheless, the hard-working, eager part of her just wanted to ignore the problem, as she had always done in the past, hoping that it would solve itself. There had been no trigger for the bad dreams, and so she was convinced that they would go away just as quickly as they had come. At least that was what she told herself.
She knew it wasn't going to happen. Not after two weeks of nightmares.
But as soon as she told a doctor, and most certainly it would be a psychiatrist sooner or later, the CBI needed to be informed. And she would be sent home. To find herself in the solitude of her still only half furnished and equipped apartment with still unpacked boxes here and there, and she wouldn't feel at home, but like in a prison. It wouldn't do her any good.
At the moment, her desk was her best friend. The door to her office she now closed every time she went there for paperwork, and that gave her a feeling of being safe. No bed around to cause her sleep and therefore nightmares, and no one to see her, and the dark rings under her eyes. Those she hid with make-up, but if anyone would look just a little longer and a little more careful, they would see that healthy and relaxing sleep wasn't a part of her life recently.
She didn't want them to be concerned.
She didn't want them to talk about it.
It was the sixteenth day of oppressive tiredness after the sixteenth night of nightmares that would have made every horror movie producer proud. She couldn't concentrate on her paperwork, her headache was getting worse with every hour, and she prayed that no new case would come in. She was lucky. She left work as soon as her official working hours ended, excusing herself and her unusual early leaving with having plans for the evening.
Truth was, she didn't know how long she would yet be able to hold up. She contemplated calling in sick for the next day, only to get the chance to rest a bit; maybe with the help of sleeping pills, and if it had to be a few more than she already took to be finally granted some sleep; only a few hours of dreamless slumber to gain a bit energy, get some of it back.
With the last strength she could come up with she made a sandwich; she needed some food, at least a bit of a substitute for the lack of recreating sleep.
She could barely hold her eyes open when she ate her sandwich and drank some fruity beverage she had found in her fridge - she hadn't bought any groceries in more than a week - and anyways was eating more something she forced herself to do, while she rather wanted to use the time to try and get some sleep. Some peaceful sleep. Even after two weeks, she was still hoping that day, or night, would come.
Finished with her evening meal, she just wanted to fall into her bed when her doorbell chimed. For a moment, she considered ignoring it, but when the visitor didn't refrain from demanding her attention - and person - she gave in and opened the door.
She didn't know why she was surprised at all to find one Patrick Jane standing before her.
"Good evening, dear Lisbon," her consultant cheered, and hadn't she been so damn tired and exhausted and weak, she would have sent him to hell. Or wherever.
"Jane, I will only ask you once - what are you doing here?" His smile vanished instantly and his face grew serious.
"I'm sorry, I... know I... you haven't slept one night through for two weeks now, right?" He looked at her intensely, and then continued, "Nightmares?" His gentle voice showed genuine concern, and Lisbon felt her defenses crumble. She stepped aside and let Jane pass, before she closed the door and fell into the closest chair.
"I...," she started, but wasn't really sure what to say.
"Please, let me help you. I don't want you to kill yourself. Insomnia can... it can destroy you. Let you tell that from someone who knows," he told her right away, without any of his normally typical quirks or delays in providing information.
"You can't help me, Jane. Please, just leave me alone."
"I know you're not very fond of my ways of solving problems, but... if you only would let me hypnotize you..." He trailed off when he saw her shaking her head. "Lisbon..."
"Jane, I can't have that right now. I... you know I'm not comfortable with that whole stuff and-"
"Lisbon," he interrupted her, and crouched before her, "I know we have some trust issues, but you should also know that I would never do you any harm. I would never, never hurt you. I'm here because I'm worried about you and your well-being. And so is the team. They know something's wrong with you. They care so much about you that they are in a conflict whether to tell Hightower about your condition so you'll be forced to see a doctor, or to try and help you by protecting you from any work and stress."
"You and the team... you are..." the dark-haired woman began and suddenly felt her eyes fill with tears. Desperate she tried to hold them back or brush them away, but her weakened mental state left her more than deeply touched by her team worrying about her.
"You need help. Please, Teresa," Jane said quietly, and his gentle voice was soothing already. It wasn't that she didn't trust him; after all, it wasn't the first time he offered to hypnotize her. Last time it had helped. The only thing resisting now were the remnants of rationality that always refused Jane's psychic attempts.
In the end, it were only remnants. And she preferred his help over that of a doctor. Especially after her very own experience with psychiatrists.
"No funny things," she warned, but indicated at the same time that she was willing to try it. His expression was still serious, although his mouth curved into a half-smile.
"I'll save that for later, when your sleep level is back to normal," he teased lightly, and even Lisbon couldn't help but smile weakly at that.
"Well then, let's begin."
Thanks to her exhaustion, it was easy for Jane to hypnotize her. Soon she looked so peaceful, lounging comfortably in her chair, that Patrick felt sorry that he had to make her get up. But after the first talking - questioning - was done and he had found out responsible for her nightmares was a fear that had been buried deep in her mind and now had broken free, he needed her somewhere else for the second part of his therapy. Taking her hand to assure her that she was save, he guided her dazed, absent mind upstairs and into her bedroom where he made her lie down on her bed.
"Okay now, Teresa, open your eyes. You'll see a thousand stars above you. Whenever your mind is filled with that image before you fall asleep, there will be no room for your nightmares," he suggested to her subconscious. Then he told her to close her eyes again. "No one can do you any harm. Your dreams are only figments of your imagination. They can't not control you, but you can control them." Pleased, he saw her nodding her understanding. "Alright. When I tell you you'll wake up, and you will know what to do to avoid any further bad dreams." For just a few seconds, he allowed himself to look at her, take in her features, so peaceful at this moment. "Wake up now, Teresa," he eventually told her in a low, calm voice, and she complied.
When Lisbon opened her eyes and slowly gained back her senses, she was met by the sight of her bedroom ceiling, the one she had painted in an indigo blue color called "Night Sky", covered in countless small lamps, twinkling with a silver light and giving her an impression as if she was lying beneath a star-filled sky at night.
"What... what is that?" Teresa finally asked, and slowly but surely, she felt a mixture of bewilderment and some anger creep up inside her, as knew someone - most certainly Jane - had been in her bedroom to do that.
"Please don't be mad," Patrick defeated himself almost immediately, "I was hoping you would agree on letting me hypnotize you, and had to prepare this. It will help you, trust me. I suggested to you under hypnosis that you would sleep tight and well, without any nightmares, whenever you are beneath that... starry sky. It will work."
She eyed him thoughtfully, and he was relieved to see her features soften.
"It... it is beautiful," Lisbon admitted when she took in her newly decorated ceiling. "Thank you."
"No need to thank me, really," he dismissed, a bit embarrassed. "Now try and get some sleep. Just make sure to look at your stars before you close your eyes."
"You really think it will work? That my nightmares are gone?"
"Yes." This one word, said with so much honest conviction strangely enough was all she needed. Or at least she thought so. But when Jane was about to leave, she found herself calling him back. "Would you-"
His hand was already touching the doorknob when he found the courage to ask something that had been burning in his mind for some time now. "Would you mind-" However, the moment he started speaking, he heard her voice at just the exact same moment.
They both stopped at the sound of the other one's voice and exchanged curious glances.
"You first," Lisbon offered, but Jane shook his head.
"No, it's not that important. What did you want to say?"
"I... I wanted to ask if you could stay... just... just to make sure there won't be another nightmare plaguing me. And in case there is, that you can wake me up. I never quite manage to rise myself out of the dream before it is over." She was babbling, and she knew it. Even after all these years of friendship, asking such a question, although meant completely innocent, felt like crossing this one certain line they'd drawn unconsciously in the beginning of their partnership. And it was something they both didn't dare to do, fearing the outcome. He was here to help her with her nightmares - but he was also standing in her bedroom, and she had just invited him to join her.
He didn't answer; instead, he shrugged off his jacket, walked over to the bed, sat down and took off his shoes and socks before he lay down beside her. Thoughtful he looked up.
"Maybe I should try that as well. The only problem is I can't hypnotize myself."
Lisbon chuckled lightly, but said nothing. She appreciated his attempts to lighten the mood, and to distract her from the prospect of falling asleep soon. He without doubt knew of her despite his efforts still present fear of another nightmare, and another frightful night. Shyly her hand sought out his, and their fingers entwined like it was the most normal thing to happen.
"Sleep now, Teresa, sleep. I'll be here," Patrick then whispered, though still not looking at her. She did as she was told, and with one last glance upwards to her very own starry night sky rolled onto her side. Unwilling to let go of his hand, she tugged at it, testing the ground - and to her surprise, he followed.
And when his body lined up against her back, Teresa knew that from this moment on, her nightmares were only mere stories of the past.
END
Part Two - Orange
Part Three - Yellow
Part Four - Green
Part Five - Blue
Part Six - Indigo
Part Seven - Violet
Part Eight - White
SILVER - Of Stars And Dreams
Loosely connected to "Indigo", but it's not really a sequel.
The nightmares had started about two weeks ago. They came out of nowhere, were suddenly there and tortured her. And Teresa Lisbon, though she racked her brain over it, couldn't find a reason, an explanation for the surreal, horrific pictures her mind created every night. She only knew that it made her life, and more so, her work, a lot harder. She lacked of precious sleep, and not being fully concentrated because of sleep deprivation could kill her sooner or later.
She had been lucky lately, as their recent cases were rather easy to solve. But this was still the Serious Crime Unit, and they would get a serious, and a more complicated case. She feared that moment; she feared the outcome.
Lisbon knew she should go and see a doctor. It would be the best not only for her, but for all of them. She put her team in danger as well. Nevertheless, the hard-working, eager part of her just wanted to ignore the problem, as she had always done in the past, hoping that it would solve itself. There had been no trigger for the bad dreams, and so she was convinced that they would go away just as quickly as they had come. At least that was what she told herself.
She knew it wasn't going to happen. Not after two weeks of nightmares.
But as soon as she told a doctor, and most certainly it would be a psychiatrist sooner or later, the CBI needed to be informed. And she would be sent home. To find herself in the solitude of her still only half furnished and equipped apartment with still unpacked boxes here and there, and she wouldn't feel at home, but like in a prison. It wouldn't do her any good.
At the moment, her desk was her best friend. The door to her office she now closed every time she went there for paperwork, and that gave her a feeling of being safe. No bed around to cause her sleep and therefore nightmares, and no one to see her, and the dark rings under her eyes. Those she hid with make-up, but if anyone would look just a little longer and a little more careful, they would see that healthy and relaxing sleep wasn't a part of her life recently.
She didn't want them to be concerned.
She didn't want them to talk about it.
It was the sixteenth day of oppressive tiredness after the sixteenth night of nightmares that would have made every horror movie producer proud. She couldn't concentrate on her paperwork, her headache was getting worse with every hour, and she prayed that no new case would come in. She was lucky. She left work as soon as her official working hours ended, excusing herself and her unusual early leaving with having plans for the evening.
Truth was, she didn't know how long she would yet be able to hold up. She contemplated calling in sick for the next day, only to get the chance to rest a bit; maybe with the help of sleeping pills, and if it had to be a few more than she already took to be finally granted some sleep; only a few hours of dreamless slumber to gain a bit energy, get some of it back.
With the last strength she could come up with she made a sandwich; she needed some food, at least a bit of a substitute for the lack of recreating sleep.
She could barely hold her eyes open when she ate her sandwich and drank some fruity beverage she had found in her fridge - she hadn't bought any groceries in more than a week - and anyways was eating more something she forced herself to do, while she rather wanted to use the time to try and get some sleep. Some peaceful sleep. Even after two weeks, she was still hoping that day, or night, would come.
Finished with her evening meal, she just wanted to fall into her bed when her doorbell chimed. For a moment, she considered ignoring it, but when the visitor didn't refrain from demanding her attention - and person - she gave in and opened the door.
She didn't know why she was surprised at all to find one Patrick Jane standing before her.
"Good evening, dear Lisbon," her consultant cheered, and hadn't she been so damn tired and exhausted and weak, she would have sent him to hell. Or wherever.
"Jane, I will only ask you once - what are you doing here?" His smile vanished instantly and his face grew serious.
"I'm sorry, I... know I... you haven't slept one night through for two weeks now, right?" He looked at her intensely, and then continued, "Nightmares?" His gentle voice showed genuine concern, and Lisbon felt her defenses crumble. She stepped aside and let Jane pass, before she closed the door and fell into the closest chair.
"I...," she started, but wasn't really sure what to say.
"Please, let me help you. I don't want you to kill yourself. Insomnia can... it can destroy you. Let you tell that from someone who knows," he told her right away, without any of his normally typical quirks or delays in providing information.
"You can't help me, Jane. Please, just leave me alone."
"I know you're not very fond of my ways of solving problems, but... if you only would let me hypnotize you..." He trailed off when he saw her shaking her head. "Lisbon..."
"Jane, I can't have that right now. I... you know I'm not comfortable with that whole stuff and-"
"Lisbon," he interrupted her, and crouched before her, "I know we have some trust issues, but you should also know that I would never do you any harm. I would never, never hurt you. I'm here because I'm worried about you and your well-being. And so is the team. They know something's wrong with you. They care so much about you that they are in a conflict whether to tell Hightower about your condition so you'll be forced to see a doctor, or to try and help you by protecting you from any work and stress."
"You and the team... you are..." the dark-haired woman began and suddenly felt her eyes fill with tears. Desperate she tried to hold them back or brush them away, but her weakened mental state left her more than deeply touched by her team worrying about her.
"You need help. Please, Teresa," Jane said quietly, and his gentle voice was soothing already. It wasn't that she didn't trust him; after all, it wasn't the first time he offered to hypnotize her. Last time it had helped. The only thing resisting now were the remnants of rationality that always refused Jane's psychic attempts.
In the end, it were only remnants. And she preferred his help over that of a doctor. Especially after her very own experience with psychiatrists.
"No funny things," she warned, but indicated at the same time that she was willing to try it. His expression was still serious, although his mouth curved into a half-smile.
"I'll save that for later, when your sleep level is back to normal," he teased lightly, and even Lisbon couldn't help but smile weakly at that.
"Well then, let's begin."
Thanks to her exhaustion, it was easy for Jane to hypnotize her. Soon she looked so peaceful, lounging comfortably in her chair, that Patrick felt sorry that he had to make her get up. But after the first talking - questioning - was done and he had found out responsible for her nightmares was a fear that had been buried deep in her mind and now had broken free, he needed her somewhere else for the second part of his therapy. Taking her hand to assure her that she was save, he guided her dazed, absent mind upstairs and into her bedroom where he made her lie down on her bed.
"Okay now, Teresa, open your eyes. You'll see a thousand stars above you. Whenever your mind is filled with that image before you fall asleep, there will be no room for your nightmares," he suggested to her subconscious. Then he told her to close her eyes again. "No one can do you any harm. Your dreams are only figments of your imagination. They can't not control you, but you can control them." Pleased, he saw her nodding her understanding. "Alright. When I tell you you'll wake up, and you will know what to do to avoid any further bad dreams." For just a few seconds, he allowed himself to look at her, take in her features, so peaceful at this moment. "Wake up now, Teresa," he eventually told her in a low, calm voice, and she complied.
When Lisbon opened her eyes and slowly gained back her senses, she was met by the sight of her bedroom ceiling, the one she had painted in an indigo blue color called "Night Sky", covered in countless small lamps, twinkling with a silver light and giving her an impression as if she was lying beneath a star-filled sky at night.
"What... what is that?" Teresa finally asked, and slowly but surely, she felt a mixture of bewilderment and some anger creep up inside her, as knew someone - most certainly Jane - had been in her bedroom to do that.
"Please don't be mad," Patrick defeated himself almost immediately, "I was hoping you would agree on letting me hypnotize you, and had to prepare this. It will help you, trust me. I suggested to you under hypnosis that you would sleep tight and well, without any nightmares, whenever you are beneath that... starry sky. It will work."
She eyed him thoughtfully, and he was relieved to see her features soften.
"It... it is beautiful," Lisbon admitted when she took in her newly decorated ceiling. "Thank you."
"No need to thank me, really," he dismissed, a bit embarrassed. "Now try and get some sleep. Just make sure to look at your stars before you close your eyes."
"You really think it will work? That my nightmares are gone?"
"Yes." This one word, said with so much honest conviction strangely enough was all she needed. Or at least she thought so. But when Jane was about to leave, she found herself calling him back. "Would you-"
His hand was already touching the doorknob when he found the courage to ask something that had been burning in his mind for some time now. "Would you mind-" However, the moment he started speaking, he heard her voice at just the exact same moment.
They both stopped at the sound of the other one's voice and exchanged curious glances.
"You first," Lisbon offered, but Jane shook his head.
"No, it's not that important. What did you want to say?"
"I... I wanted to ask if you could stay... just... just to make sure there won't be another nightmare plaguing me. And in case there is, that you can wake me up. I never quite manage to rise myself out of the dream before it is over." She was babbling, and she knew it. Even after all these years of friendship, asking such a question, although meant completely innocent, felt like crossing this one certain line they'd drawn unconsciously in the beginning of their partnership. And it was something they both didn't dare to do, fearing the outcome. He was here to help her with her nightmares - but he was also standing in her bedroom, and she had just invited him to join her.
He didn't answer; instead, he shrugged off his jacket, walked over to the bed, sat down and took off his shoes and socks before he lay down beside her. Thoughtful he looked up.
"Maybe I should try that as well. The only problem is I can't hypnotize myself."
Lisbon chuckled lightly, but said nothing. She appreciated his attempts to lighten the mood, and to distract her from the prospect of falling asleep soon. He without doubt knew of her despite his efforts still present fear of another nightmare, and another frightful night. Shyly her hand sought out his, and their fingers entwined like it was the most normal thing to happen.
"Sleep now, Teresa, sleep. I'll be here," Patrick then whispered, though still not looking at her. She did as she was told, and with one last glance upwards to her very own starry night sky rolled onto her side. Unwilling to let go of his hand, she tugged at it, testing the ground - and to her surprise, he followed.
And when his body lined up against her back, Teresa knew that from this moment on, her nightmares were only mere stories of the past.
END