i don't know if i'm already over-exaggerating or not, but sometimes i feel like i'm a disappointment to mike, which in turn makes me disappointed in myself
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What people write means less than you might think. I don't think most people love someone all the time. You might say you do, but it is not as if you are constantly dizzy with excitement over your affection for someone. It ebbs and flows. I can say I love the person I am with as a general truth, but there are only specific moments where that emotion blooms into the feeling of love. Have you ever had those moments of doubt?
Have you talked to him about it? Maybe next time you go down on him you can bring it up..."smoo mhow dmoo ymoo fmeel babout mus?"
obviously you are absolutely right. i mean, i can't even for one second, lie about the fact that the same shit has ever crossed my mind. but i am being as reasonable about this as my logical brain will let me. i'm really trying not to let the "over analytical, low self-esteem girl" part of my brain override this logic, but its really hard. i think it just comes from my never having a reliable male figure in my life, and even being remotely unsatisfactory to him makes me sick inside. for awhile i thought i got over the whole "teen angsty low self esteem", but i guess shit like that can be pretty deeply ingrained. meh. but i'm being realistic about it, and i might be over this particular incident... for now. thanks for the input though. i always value your pointed reasoning, which is basically my slap to the back of the head from you.
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Have you talked to him about it? Maybe next time you go down on him you can bring it up..."smoo mhow dmoo ymoo fmeel babout mus?"
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i mean, i can't even for one second, lie about the fact that the same shit has ever crossed my mind. but i am being as reasonable about this as my logical brain will let me. i'm really trying not to let the "over analytical, low self-esteem girl" part of my brain override this logic, but its really hard.
i think it just comes from my never having a reliable male figure in my life, and even being remotely unsatisfactory to him makes me sick inside. for awhile i thought i got over the whole "teen angsty low self esteem", but i guess shit like that can be pretty deeply ingrained. meh.
but i'm being realistic about it, and i might be over this particular incident... for now.
thanks for the input though. i always value your pointed reasoning, which is basically my slap to the back of the head from you.
Heart,
Jen Simms
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