Loneliness (one-shot)
title: loneliness
pairing: juntoshi (more friendship though)
rating: PG-13 (for the whiskey?)
genre: angst
disclaimer: i just own the plotbunny....his name is lucas...wanna pet him?^^
summary: sometimes someone needs to tell you how lonely you are...*sucks at summarys*
a/n: my first time writing juntoshi, i hope it didn't turn out that bad^^;; also kinda dedicated to kon_bl eventhough it already cheered her up <3
x-posted to arashirabu
Loneliness
Jun sighed as he opened the already half emptied bottle of whiskey. Another evening he was going to spend with his good friend Jack Daniels. Well, at least he was not alone that way.
He filled his expensive crystal glass and leaned back into his couch, taking a strong draft.
It had been another stressful day in the life of Matsumoto Jun. Dorama shooting in the morning, photo shooting at lunch time, promotion for said dorama in the afternoon and finally dance rehearsal with Arashi for the upcoming video shoot. After that day, he had reached his limits. Having developed a headache so strong that his best painkillers couldn't stop it and the urgent will to make someone suffer, all he wanted to do was getting changed and return home to... well, no one.
Just an empty apartment, a bathtub filled with hot water and his good old friend Jack. Said Jack in his hand was already gone as he finished reflecting his day.
Another sigh and he refilled the glass, still not feeling anything from the strong whiskey.
While drinking down the second shot, he took a close look at the pictures on his walls. Most of them were from his earlier days and showed him smiling with all kinds of Johnny's, most of them Arashi of course.
He sure had been lucky back in those days.
While wondering when that true, genuine smile had changed into the perfect but faked smile he wore now, he drank glass number three and slowly started to feel the alcohol, started to feel dizzy and good for some reason.
That was why he enjoyed Jack's company so much. He made him forget about everything. The fact that his life was more stressful than a person could endure, the fact that he came home tired in the evenings, or rather nights, the fact that no one was there and that he hadn't gone out with someone to eat for the last three months. Soon, after two more glasses, he even forgot about himself and fell asleep on the couch.
A disturbing sound teared him away from his dreamless sleep. He grunted as he opened his eyes, lids heavy and hard to remain open.
It was the sound of his doorbell, he figured out finally, senses blurry from the high amount of whiskey.
He got up, almost falling back onto the couch again and finally stumbling in the direction of the door, steps unsteady and not straight at all. His limbs felt heavy and his mind was so blurry that he didn't even wonder who that person could be.
He opened the door, looking at a moony but genuine shy smile.
“Captain!” Jun babbled, caught in surprise.
“Good evening,” the older one replied firmly, keeping his shy smile.
“What are you doing here?” he asked confused, rocking back and forth. He grabbed the door frame to gain some stability, all of a sudden embarrassed that Ohno had to see him that way.
“I just felt like stopping by,” he said as if it was normal to visit someone at... how late was it anyways, Jun wondered stepping aside.
“Well, come on in then... I guess.”
“Thank you,” Ohno said, bowing slightly before he stepped inside, took his shoes off and followed Jun up to his living room.
“You want some?” Jun asked, holding the whiskey bottle in Ohno's direction.
“Oh no, thank you,” he answered politely. “But a glass of water would be great.”
“Water?” the younger one asked dumbly. “You want water?” He laughed and went to the kitchen.
When he came back with a glass of water in his hand, Jun noticed that Ohno was sitting on his couch, looking at one of Jun's fashion magazines.
“Found something interesting?”
Jun placed the glass in front of the older one. “Your water.”
“Thanks.” Ohno took it in his hands and took a sip. “You are really into this, huh?”
He continued to scan the mag.
“I think it's important to look good and fashionable at our business,” he answered more annoyed then planned.
“Ah... ,” was the only answer he received from the older one, who wasn't even looking up.
“What are you here for, Captain?” Jun asked bluntly, feeling disturbed by the other one's appearance.
“You know,” Ohno began slowly, finally closing the mag and putting it back to the other ones. “This is the first time I'm at your apartment.”
He got up after he placed the glass on the table, wandering to the pictures on the wall. “It looks very nice.”
“Leader, why are you here?” he tried again. Normally, he liked Leader's way to behave. Not answering, talking about unimportant stuff, talking more to himself then to other people anyways - but the alcohol in his body made him more and more tense.
“These pictures are great.” He pointed at one with Ikuta Toma and Yamashita Tomohisa as Jun made his way up to the wall himself.
“Well, thanks,” he mumbled, trying to think of a way to get Ohno out of his apartment.
“What has Yamashita-kun been doing, lately?” Ohno asked, smiling at Jun.
“I don't know, haven't seen him in a while.”
Ohno must have noticed his annoyed tone, right?
“Oh, what a shame.” He pointed at another picture. “What about Nishikido-kun, have you seen him, lately?” he asked again, still smiling, but it had turned into a worried smile.
“Nope, I haven't.”
Jun ruffled his hair in annoyance.
“Jun-chan sure is a lonely person, huh?” Ohno said to himself, not looking at Jun, but still seeing him through the frame's glass reflection.
“What are you talking about, Leader? I'm not lonely.” Jun looked at him, getting angrier and angrier.
“Well, MatsuJun might not be lonely. But Jun is. And you know that yourself.” the older one finally said.
So that was the reason for his visit? He wanted to check out how lonely Jun really was? Normally, he would have denied it, smiling perfectly to make sure everyone noticed how great and fine he was, but the whiskey keeping down his rationality, made him snap.
Within a few seconds, Jun had grabbed Ohno's collar and slammed him against the wall.
“I'm not lonely, okay? Why should I be? My life is perfect and I have everything I want.”
Ohno tried to free himself, but Jun's grip was just too strong. He sighed.
“Sure, you have the newest fashionable clothes and a neat expensive interior... but no one's here to share those things with you, right? No one's there when you come home in the evening.”
“I don't need anybody.” he said between gritted teeth.
Ohno recognized that the other one was shaking. He was probably on the edge of a breakdown that was long overdue.
“Jun,” the older one looked into his furious eyes. “Everybody needs somebody.”
“I don't need anybody!!” He shouted and his fist smashed against the wall, just a few inches away from the other one's face.
Jun removed his hand slowly, looking at it confused. It was shaking and little drops of blood were starting to build at the knuckles.
“I don't need anybody,” he repeated quietly and fell down on his knees. “Not anybody.”
He was staring at the floor, the once furious eyes now emotionless and distant.
Ohno looked at him and got down. He didn't know what to say, like most of the time, so he decided to let his emotions control and hugged Jun, pressing him closely against himself. Jun didn't struggle. With his arms hanging limp at his sides he just let it happen, even the rest of his power gone.
“Jun... it's okay to be dependent. To need someone around you. You don't have to bear everything alone.”
He could hear the younger one sob and hesitatingly Jun's arms began to make their way to Ohno's back, giving into the hug.
“But, I don't have anyone... I'm all alone,” he whispered, burying his head in the other one's shoulder. He was no longer sobbing, he was crying now, loud and under unsteady breath.
Ohno moved his hand towards the younger one's head, caressing it and patting it gently while he kept holding him with the other arm.
“You are not alone, Jun,” he said finally. “There are lots of people who care about you.”
“Do they?” He sobbed. “When was the last time someone asked me about my problems?”
The older one smiled, and continued playing with Jun's hair.
“When was the last time you actually admitted you had some?”
“I don't want to bother you guys.”
“It's not a bother. We're all concerned about you.”
Jun didn't respond to that, so Ohno kept on talking.
“I've been worrying about you for a very long time now, and today after the rehearsal you looked so desperate and down, that I just had to come over.”
The other one sighed.
“You noticed?”
“I always do.” He parted from the younger one and looked into his puffy eyes, tears still running down freely. “Because I care... a lot about you.”
“You...” he started looking at Ohno surprised.
“I care about you. So you're not alone, because I'm there. I know I'm not very talkative.. but you can call me anytime and talk to me about your problems and I promise I'll...”
Jun threw himself back into Ohno's arms, crying out loud.
“... listen,” the older one finished surprised and embraced Jun again.
“Thank you,” he sobbed. “Thank you for... that.”
Ohno smiled again.
“You're welcome. Shall I stay here, tonight?”
The younger one nodded.
pairing: juntoshi (more friendship though)
rating: PG-13 (for the whiskey?)
genre: angst
disclaimer: i just own the plotbunny....his name is lucas...wanna pet him?^^
summary: sometimes someone needs to tell you how lonely you are...*sucks at summarys*
a/n: my first time writing juntoshi, i hope it didn't turn out that bad^^;; also kinda dedicated to kon_bl eventhough it already cheered her up <3
x-posted to arashirabu
Loneliness
Jun sighed as he opened the already half emptied bottle of whiskey. Another evening he was going to spend with his good friend Jack Daniels. Well, at least he was not alone that way.
He filled his expensive crystal glass and leaned back into his couch, taking a strong draft.
It had been another stressful day in the life of Matsumoto Jun. Dorama shooting in the morning, photo shooting at lunch time, promotion for said dorama in the afternoon and finally dance rehearsal with Arashi for the upcoming video shoot. After that day, he had reached his limits. Having developed a headache so strong that his best painkillers couldn't stop it and the urgent will to make someone suffer, all he wanted to do was getting changed and return home to... well, no one.
Just an empty apartment, a bathtub filled with hot water and his good old friend Jack. Said Jack in his hand was already gone as he finished reflecting his day.
Another sigh and he refilled the glass, still not feeling anything from the strong whiskey.
While drinking down the second shot, he took a close look at the pictures on his walls. Most of them were from his earlier days and showed him smiling with all kinds of Johnny's, most of them Arashi of course.
He sure had been lucky back in those days.
While wondering when that true, genuine smile had changed into the perfect but faked smile he wore now, he drank glass number three and slowly started to feel the alcohol, started to feel dizzy and good for some reason.
That was why he enjoyed Jack's company so much. He made him forget about everything. The fact that his life was more stressful than a person could endure, the fact that he came home tired in the evenings, or rather nights, the fact that no one was there and that he hadn't gone out with someone to eat for the last three months. Soon, after two more glasses, he even forgot about himself and fell asleep on the couch.
A disturbing sound teared him away from his dreamless sleep. He grunted as he opened his eyes, lids heavy and hard to remain open.
It was the sound of his doorbell, he figured out finally, senses blurry from the high amount of whiskey.
He got up, almost falling back onto the couch again and finally stumbling in the direction of the door, steps unsteady and not straight at all. His limbs felt heavy and his mind was so blurry that he didn't even wonder who that person could be.
He opened the door, looking at a moony but genuine shy smile.
“Captain!” Jun babbled, caught in surprise.
“Good evening,” the older one replied firmly, keeping his shy smile.
“What are you doing here?” he asked confused, rocking back and forth. He grabbed the door frame to gain some stability, all of a sudden embarrassed that Ohno had to see him that way.
“I just felt like stopping by,” he said as if it was normal to visit someone at... how late was it anyways, Jun wondered stepping aside.
“Well, come on in then... I guess.”
“Thank you,” Ohno said, bowing slightly before he stepped inside, took his shoes off and followed Jun up to his living room.
“You want some?” Jun asked, holding the whiskey bottle in Ohno's direction.
“Oh no, thank you,” he answered politely. “But a glass of water would be great.”
“Water?” the younger one asked dumbly. “You want water?” He laughed and went to the kitchen.
When he came back with a glass of water in his hand, Jun noticed that Ohno was sitting on his couch, looking at one of Jun's fashion magazines.
“Found something interesting?”
Jun placed the glass in front of the older one. “Your water.”
“Thanks.” Ohno took it in his hands and took a sip. “You are really into this, huh?”
He continued to scan the mag.
“I think it's important to look good and fashionable at our business,” he answered more annoyed then planned.
“Ah... ,” was the only answer he received from the older one, who wasn't even looking up.
“What are you here for, Captain?” Jun asked bluntly, feeling disturbed by the other one's appearance.
“You know,” Ohno began slowly, finally closing the mag and putting it back to the other ones. “This is the first time I'm at your apartment.”
He got up after he placed the glass on the table, wandering to the pictures on the wall. “It looks very nice.”
“Leader, why are you here?” he tried again. Normally, he liked Leader's way to behave. Not answering, talking about unimportant stuff, talking more to himself then to other people anyways - but the alcohol in his body made him more and more tense.
“These pictures are great.” He pointed at one with Ikuta Toma and Yamashita Tomohisa as Jun made his way up to the wall himself.
“Well, thanks,” he mumbled, trying to think of a way to get Ohno out of his apartment.
“What has Yamashita-kun been doing, lately?” Ohno asked, smiling at Jun.
“I don't know, haven't seen him in a while.”
Ohno must have noticed his annoyed tone, right?
“Oh, what a shame.” He pointed at another picture. “What about Nishikido-kun, have you seen him, lately?” he asked again, still smiling, but it had turned into a worried smile.
“Nope, I haven't.”
Jun ruffled his hair in annoyance.
“Jun-chan sure is a lonely person, huh?” Ohno said to himself, not looking at Jun, but still seeing him through the frame's glass reflection.
“What are you talking about, Leader? I'm not lonely.” Jun looked at him, getting angrier and angrier.
“Well, MatsuJun might not be lonely. But Jun is. And you know that yourself.” the older one finally said.
So that was the reason for his visit? He wanted to check out how lonely Jun really was? Normally, he would have denied it, smiling perfectly to make sure everyone noticed how great and fine he was, but the whiskey keeping down his rationality, made him snap.
Within a few seconds, Jun had grabbed Ohno's collar and slammed him against the wall.
“I'm not lonely, okay? Why should I be? My life is perfect and I have everything I want.”
Ohno tried to free himself, but Jun's grip was just too strong. He sighed.
“Sure, you have the newest fashionable clothes and a neat expensive interior... but no one's here to share those things with you, right? No one's there when you come home in the evening.”
“I don't need anybody.” he said between gritted teeth.
Ohno recognized that the other one was shaking. He was probably on the edge of a breakdown that was long overdue.
“Jun,” the older one looked into his furious eyes. “Everybody needs somebody.”
“I don't need anybody!!” He shouted and his fist smashed against the wall, just a few inches away from the other one's face.
Jun removed his hand slowly, looking at it confused. It was shaking and little drops of blood were starting to build at the knuckles.
“I don't need anybody,” he repeated quietly and fell down on his knees. “Not anybody.”
He was staring at the floor, the once furious eyes now emotionless and distant.
Ohno looked at him and got down. He didn't know what to say, like most of the time, so he decided to let his emotions control and hugged Jun, pressing him closely against himself. Jun didn't struggle. With his arms hanging limp at his sides he just let it happen, even the rest of his power gone.
“Jun... it's okay to be dependent. To need someone around you. You don't have to bear everything alone.”
He could hear the younger one sob and hesitatingly Jun's arms began to make their way to Ohno's back, giving into the hug.
“But, I don't have anyone... I'm all alone,” he whispered, burying his head in the other one's shoulder. He was no longer sobbing, he was crying now, loud and under unsteady breath.
Ohno moved his hand towards the younger one's head, caressing it and patting it gently while he kept holding him with the other arm.
“You are not alone, Jun,” he said finally. “There are lots of people who care about you.”
“Do they?” He sobbed. “When was the last time someone asked me about my problems?”
The older one smiled, and continued playing with Jun's hair.
“When was the last time you actually admitted you had some?”
“I don't want to bother you guys.”
“It's not a bother. We're all concerned about you.”
Jun didn't respond to that, so Ohno kept on talking.
“I've been worrying about you for a very long time now, and today after the rehearsal you looked so desperate and down, that I just had to come over.”
The other one sighed.
“You noticed?”
“I always do.” He parted from the younger one and looked into his puffy eyes, tears still running down freely. “Because I care... a lot about you.”
“You...” he started looking at Ohno surprised.
“I care about you. So you're not alone, because I'm there. I know I'm not very talkative.. but you can call me anytime and talk to me about your problems and I promise I'll...”
Jun threw himself back into Ohno's arms, crying out loud.
“... listen,” the older one finished surprised and embraced Jun again.
“Thank you,” he sobbed. “Thank you for... that.”
Ohno smiled again.
“You're welcome. Shall I stay here, tonight?”
The younger one nodded.