Remix for maiaide
Title: Doing it right
Rating: NC-17
Group/Pairing: Arashi; Nino/Aiba
Notes: I tried my best, H D: Thanks to K for beta-ing! I love you!
Link to Original Story: Just do it
Link to Original Writer: maiaide
With his last dregs of sobriety Nino sees the world in an intimidating soft focus. He listens to his pulse, clenches his jaw, and fights the urge to look at the supine form beside him. He knows that if he does, he might just up and leave.
Nino sets the beer on the coffee table, slumps over, finds the label at eye-level. He blinks. If - when he finishes this drink, he would be able to do it. He’s wanted to. With Aiba. It’s only right if it’s Aiba.
Nino strains his wrists, pushing himself upright. He raises the rim of the can to his lips, keeps it there.
----
Ohno and Nino had started their horseplay when Sho had left for his drama’s live recording segment, when Aiba had announced he was going to take a shower, when Jun had returned to the concert hall to thank the team for giving Arashi a successful 10th anniversary tour. Their air sword fight takes Ohno to the ground, laughing, sandwiching him between a flushed, giggling Nino and the linoleum. They stay entwined for a full minute before they realise no one else is around.
Breath on breath, their laughter dies. Nino’s eyes darken. They are rarely alone, contrary to popular belief. Mainly it’s because Ohno refuses to go for a meal with Nino, refuses to have any one-on-one interaction with Nino on a more intellectual level. At a PV shooting once, Nino had demanded to know why; Ohno had grinned, had explained he’d already been saying ‘no’ all this while so he would keep at it.
Ohno gently prods Nino’s shoulders; Nino doesn’t move. Ohno gives up and relaxes into the floor. Nino will get up only when he wants to.
Tensing, Nino tells him he has something to say - in private, more private than this. When Ohno probes, Nino suggests dinner, just the two of them. Ohno reminds, very quietly, that Arashi sans Sho is going for a meal with the staff before heading back to Tokyo. Nino proposes bailing out.
Ohno shakes his head. He folds his fingers, grazes Nino’s chin with his knuckles. Ohno whispers that it just won’t be the same, and Nino finally sees that Ohno doesn’t love him back.
----
Nino chugs his drink and slams the can onto the tabletop. His lanky companion flails at the noise, swatting Nino’s jaw in the process, and emits a snore. Nino laughs and joins Aiba on the carpet, shutting his eyes, allowing inebriation to arrest him. He hopes its anaesthetic will last.
----
Everyone notices the change in the Ohno-Nino dynamic because Nino has downplayed the off-screen subtlety entirely. He is overtly demonstrative, too frequently curling himself around Ohno, playing with an earlobe or some other random part of Ohno’s anatomy even when the cameras aren’t rolling. It discomfits most, if not all, their colleagues.
Ohno is amused at all the attention he is getting, but knows Nino heals differently from other people. He doesn’t even blink when, during a break in dance practice, Nino pins him to the studio mirror and kisses him, in full view of their gawking instructor and the rest of Arashi.
When Nino is done, Ohno gives him a small smile and walks away.
----
Nino has tried the entire evening to explain, albeit metaphorically, what he wants, what Aiba should feel and how he knows this is right for them. Aiba never does cotton on and instead offers comments like how Nino should really get a new girlfriend because not getting laid is impairing Nino’s cognitive ability.
Nino decided to ditch Sho’s stupid idea and go along with Jun’s more practical one. Handing Aiba a lemon chu-hi and opening one for himself, he proceeded to start ‘loosening up’ with alcohol, no less.
Now, as he crawls to straddle Aiba’s thighs, he realises Jun has always known him best.
----
It takes months of the skinship nonsense to grate on Jun’s nerves and he makes a house call one evening in late summer, armed with two bottles of wine and Sho. Nino begrudgingly lets them in. He is comfortable with these two and their knack of maintaining the delicate balance between respect of privacy and concern; if it were Aiba, he’d want to kill the guy for not being able to read the atmosphere.
Jun has never come uninvited before, but then he’s never had a reason to. He launches into confrontation mode once he gets past the rug at the entryway, explaining that Nino has become a crude human accessory and he wants to help. Sho plays mediator, as always, and Nino is grateful. He opts for honesty after four glasses of red, pouring out details of his one-sided love; Jun and Sho empathise and nod in all the right places. They end up hugging Nino to sleep.
At work the next morning Aiba apologises to Nino by the vending machine. He sheepishly discloses that he’d elected to not invade Nino’s apartment with the other two, since he isn’t good with issues. Nino stares at him for a while before punching his arm, agreeing that Aiba’s a bad friend and therefore should pay for lunch.
----
Finding Nino’s groin inches away from his, Aiba speculates if Nino is drunk. Nino denies it, but he definitely isn’t sober. Aiba continues his barrage of questions but Nino ends up shushing him, pitching forward and blathering into his ear. They manage to hold some semblance of a conversation when Nino decides he doesn’t want to talk anymore.
Vaguely remembering Ohno’s add-on advice of never revealing his real purpose in intoxicating himself Nino tells Aiba he wants sex anyway. After all, Ohno had missed a variable; they never expected Aiba to be drunk as well.
----
It is almost a year later when Nino squeezes Ohno’s ass rather chastely and promises he won’t sexually assault him anymore. Ohno says that he knew Nino had gotten over it when he stopped feeling molested every time Nino touched him. The vibe just wasn’t the same, he claims.
Nino breaks into a grin and drapes an arm around Ohno’s shoulders, reaching for a nipple.
----
Being drunk obviously decrements Nino’s acting prowess, because while he can fake the steady gazes and breathing-on-skin, he isn’t brave enough to kiss Aiba the way he wants to and instead brushes his lips against the side of Aiba’s mouth. He feels afraid despite the liquid courage, unable to read emotion in Aiba’s eyes. The fact that Aiba isn’t even moving confuses him, and he is about to scramble off when Aiba takes hold of his chin and presses their lips together.
----
Sho gets to cover the 2012 Summer Olympics the same time Nino is shooting a Hollywood movie on-location in London. Sounding surreptitious over the phone, Sho insists they must meet. They line up their schedules and find a common slot. Sho looks Nino up at his hotel.
Over breakfast, Sho reveals that he is getting married. He wanted to tell Nino in person, but Nino had left for London before the proposal. And by the way, Sho is going to be a father.
At first Nino thinks Sho is joking because Sho can be quite funny when he wants to. But Sho repeats himself in a way that dispels all notions of mischievous humour, stresses that nothing will happen to the group, which makes Nino put down his cutlery. He studies Sho’s open, earnest face; notices the dark circles and the gauntness of his cheeks.
Nino wonders if Sho is certain about this. He wants to be happy for Sho. He wants Sho to be happy. Sho assures Nino that he is.
----
Nino lets Aiba turn him on his back, and he flushes as Aiba stares. He’s never seen Aiba this intent on him, and he is self-conscious. It’s his first time. He’s allowed to be.
Aiba dips, finding Nino’s lips once more. He murmurs something Nino can’t make out, sneaks his fingers under Nino’s shirt, tracing the lines on his abdomen before undoing the button on his jeans. They part briefly when Aiba lifts Nino’s shirt over his head. Nino’s breathing accelerates as Aiba’s tongue returns to tease his. His hand ventures to Aiba’s waistband, only to find that Aiba has already kicked off his jeans.
Nino smiles into the kiss.
----
When Nino gets back to Japan, he finds Aiba in his kitchen. Jun was supposed to house-sit but apparently, according to Aiba, had to go for an emergency vacation in New York. Again.
So, Jun had conveniently relinquished the apartment key to Aiba and left Thursday morning. Aiba has stageplay rehearsal just a block away, so he took liberties with Nino’s guestroom. Nino asks Aiba if he’s running a hotel, and Aiba tosses him a five-yen coin, swearing to leave the next day. Nino makes him swear to switch off the air-conditioning if he is not at home when Aiba goes.
That evening over supper Nino carefully reveals that he has knowledge of Sho’s impending nuptials. Aiba looks unperturbed, knows what Nino is getting at. Aiba confesses his initial surprise, going so far as to pull an all-nighter counsel with Sho to make sure he was doing it because he really wanted to.
Nino understands. A fortune teller once said Aiba and Sho share the same fates because they were born under the same star; they’ve always had a thing going on. It’s like Nino and Ohno on an entirely different plane and scale. Nino admits: out of all of them Aiba reads Sho the best, loves Sho the most. Aiba says, with a sad smile, that he will miss Sho. Nino knows he would too, though not as much.
----
Nino clamps down on a moan as Aiba’s hand travels south; feels the rough fingers, slicked in lube, gently wrapping around him. Alcohol has never had a strong hold on Nino, and this time is no exception. As its effect wears off, he cannot fully enjoy the moment, aware that this whole reverse chronology thing might not work out; he’s never had sex before romance, what more without it. He dares not imagine what it would be like when all this is over so he pulls Aiba close, arching to reach his mouth.
----
Shortly after Sho’s wedding, Aiba gets into yet another scandal and the agency advises him to live somewhere else for the time being because of the hounding paparazzi camping in the lobby of his apartment complex. When Aiba airs his troubles to Arashi, Nino points out that Aiba still has some things left over from his sojourn in the summer and he might as well move in again.
Aiba stays for a month, and Nino sees a side of Aiba that their pre-debut commune in the agency dormitories never revealed. Aiba and Nino rarely roomed together after Arashi was formed; Sho had somehow always gotten that privilege by way of janken, the rest of them pairing up with Aiba on a somewhat rotational basis. When their popularity had exploded in 2006, they simply stopped sharing.
As such, Nino hasn’t realised the extent to which Aiba has mellowed down over the years. He is more sensible than what he makes himself out to be, always ensuring the heater is turned off, hanging up the parka Nino always absentmindedly chucks onto the back of the sofa. And because there might be a Sho-shaped void in Aiba’s heart that needs filling, Aiba has become more affectionate to the other members, even more so with Nino, who spends the most time with him. Nino doesn’t complain; he’s gotten used to Aiba leaning against him on the couch, holding his hand during a horror movie, touching the small of his back in a sleepy morning greeting when they squeeze past each other at the bathroom door.
When Aiba announces he is free to move back home, Nino discovers he doesn’t want Aiba to go.
----
Nino places his hands on Aiba’s thighs as Aiba shifts into a more comfortable crouch. He feels Aiba’s lips against his temple, hears him promise that he wouldn’t hurt him. Nino wants to ask if he means it, if this can mean more than just a fuck, but instead asks him to shut up and just do it already.
----
After Aiba’s departure from his private life, Nino falls into a downward spiral of secret glances, caustic comebacks and exaggerated physical contact (with everyone, just so he can justify touching Aiba). Of course, Jun notices it first. Jun always notices first, because Jun has never latched on to anyone like how Aiba did with Sho and Nino did with Ohno.
At the Kouhaku dress rehearsal, Jun returns to the greenroom from a smoke break. He finds Nino sprawled on the couch, mashing the buttons on his DS. Jun scans the place to make sure they’re alone and hurriedly shuts the door behind him. In one swift motion he pulls up a chair and plunks it in front of Nino, putting a hand on his knee. Nino pauses the game.
Jun says he knows Nino is in love with Aiba. When Nino immediately throws his head sideways to glance around the room, Jun knows something is wrong.
Sho gets up from behind the couch, choking and cupping his mouth, his fingers dripping coffee onto his costume. He makes a beeline for the bathroom, where Ohno suddenly appears, holding out some paper towels. Sho grabs them appreciatively before lunging at the sink.
Ohno stands stupidly by the beverage table. Jun asks, as calmly as he can, why the bathroom door wasn’t closed and the lights hadn’t been switched on. Ohno says he only wanted to wash his hands, and had been drying them when Jun entered. He tosses a damp paper towel into the trash to prove his point.
Sho looks wretched as he exits the bathroom, explaining that he had made himself a coffee and was rounding the settee, but not before taking a mouthful. Then he noticed his shoelace was untied.
There is a brief, awkward pause before the door is flung open by Aiba, who cheerfully suggests that they join him in Tokio’s greenroom. He is elated and overwhelmed by Arashi’s enthusiastic response.
----
Nino thought it would hurt, but when it happens all he can think of is Aiba has done this before. He frowns, tensing his muscles. He hates that he’s thinking of something like that at a time like this. Aiba begs for him to breathe, to relax. His heart catches when he realises how hard Aiba is trying. He feels hopeful.
Aiba bites down on his lip, finding a rhythm. With each thrust, now all Nino can think of is faster, harder and that is what he tells Aiba, who complies.
----
Nino wakes up to find a hand woven in his. He swipes at his eyes groggily before Sho comes into focus.
He had been filming in the studio next to Nino’s, and decided to pay the set a visit after wrap-up. The crew informed him that Nino was between scenes. Sho gamely asked for Nino’s greenroom.
Nino flexes the fingers alternating with Sho’s and notices the wedding ring. He brings up their hands to look at how the thin band of metal is affecting his grip. It still feels foreign.
Sho slowly lowers himself onto the tatami, nosing the edge of Nino’s mattress, his hand still in Nino’s. He tells Nino he has something to say, and hesitates.
Nino knows this is about Aiba. He waits.
Sho shifts onto the futon, nestling against Nino for warmth. Nino circles an arm lazily around his waist. Sho whispers that Nino should know. It’s over, but Nino has to know.
Nino holds Sho like he is fragile.
It happened sometime during the How it going? tour. Sho and Aiba had been in the shower; neither remembers who made the first move. Sho blushes.
Nino’s throat is dry but he manages to croak a question.
Until last year, Sho answers solemnly, when he knew it wasn’t going anywhere. It was also too painful to be keeping it from everyone.
When Nino doesn’t speak, Sho adds that Aiba’s a better actor than all of them think, and better at using women as smokescreens.
It takes a while for the information to sink in. Nino slowly fists the front of Sho’s shirt, bumping the bridge of his nose against Sho’s collarbone. The sounds that escape his lips are muffled, yet Sho is able to make them out. He assures Nino that it’s never going to happen again. Both he and Aiba have acknowledged that. Plus he’s married, with a kid on the way. He squeezes Nino’s hand once more. Nino feels the ring.
They lie in silence, Sho’s arms sliding apprehensively around Nino. Nino knows whatever he says next is going to change their relationship.
He asks Sho if he regrets it.
Sho asks Nino what ‘it’ means. He doesn’t let go.
Breaking up with Aiba, Nino states plainly.
Sho says no.
They segue into silence. Nino becomes aware of Sho’s pulse, throbbing just a little faster than his own. He clutches Sho’s sloping shoulders, buries his face in the crook of his neck. Sho’s heartbeat regulates.
What he regrets, Sho confides in a wavering voice, is breaking Aiba’s heart.
Nino silently promises to mend it.
----
Nino doesn’t come, but Aiba does and Nino feels bad because he’d been distracted. To mask his guilt he shoves Aiba off, chiding him for poor stamina, throwing in a comment involving Ohno which hopefully offends Aiba enough to make him ignore that Nino is much more sober than he is.
Aiba responds by manhandling him onto the floor.
----
When the Nagoya leg of their tour ends, Aiba flies to China straight from Chubu International so he doesn’t take the bus back to Tokyo with the others. 20 minutes down the freeway Sho abducts Nino from his seat and drags him to the back of the vehicle where Jun and Ohno are waiting, out of earshot of the Juniors and the staff.
For some reason, all three are convinced that sex is the only way to let Aiba know how Nino feels. Nino is not someone whom Aiba would naturally want to love - Nino looks affronted when he hears this, but Sho keeps at it - so Nino has to start with lust. If Aiba doesn’t have sex with Nino he would see Nino as just Nino, but if Nino is able to create some magic in bed, it will put Aiba in perspective.
Jun orchestrates an opportunity - when Aiba comes back from China the next evening, Nino will go pick him up and bring him home. If Aiba questions, Sho adds, Nino is to say that he needs the company; since three years ago on that day Ohno rejected him.
Nino hadn’t supplied Sho that bit of information. He raises his eyebrows at Ohno, who scratches his nose innocently.
Nino listens dumbly as Sho, asserting his position as the Arashi member who knows Aiba best, persuades him to ease Aiba into the idea, encouraging the use of metaphors and simple words to facilitate understanding. Jun rolls his eyes and tells Nino to first loosen up with a couple of beers, and to do it right, lube is the way to go, because it might hurt if Nino hasn’t done it before. Ohno reminds Nino that Aiba can be very sensitive and it probably isn’t a good idea to say outright that Nino wants sex, because if Aiba assumes Nino only wants sex then it’s not going to work out. Sho and Jun widen their eyes at Ohno’s remarkable insight and concur.
----
Despite Nino’s protests Aiba makes him come twice, and they lie on Nino’s carpet, unclothed, breathless.
“…Nino?”
“…Hm?”
“We had sex.”
Nino suspects Aiba isn’t drunk anymore.
“Yeah. We did.”
“Okay.”
Nino isn’t sure what Aiba means, can’t help feeling optimistic.
“I’m sorry,” Aiba murmurs, turning away.
“What? Why?”
“It’s my fault.”
“Idiot.”
“I took off your clothes. I bullied you into it.”
“No. I wanted you.”
“…I wanted you too.”
“I wanted you first,” Nino says softly.
Aiba closes the gap between them, meets Nino’s eyes. “Since when?”
“November. 18th.”
This time Aiba laughs. He threads his fingers in Nino’s hair, presses their foreheads together, steals another kiss; and Nino knows he’s done it right.
Rating: NC-17
Group/Pairing: Arashi; Nino/Aiba
Notes: I tried my best, H D: Thanks to K for beta-ing! I love you!
Link to Original Story: Just do it
Link to Original Writer: maiaide
With his last dregs of sobriety Nino sees the world in an intimidating soft focus. He listens to his pulse, clenches his jaw, and fights the urge to look at the supine form beside him. He knows that if he does, he might just up and leave.
Nino sets the beer on the coffee table, slumps over, finds the label at eye-level. He blinks. If - when he finishes this drink, he would be able to do it. He’s wanted to. With Aiba. It’s only right if it’s Aiba.
Nino strains his wrists, pushing himself upright. He raises the rim of the can to his lips, keeps it there.
----
Ohno and Nino had started their horseplay when Sho had left for his drama’s live recording segment, when Aiba had announced he was going to take a shower, when Jun had returned to the concert hall to thank the team for giving Arashi a successful 10th anniversary tour. Their air sword fight takes Ohno to the ground, laughing, sandwiching him between a flushed, giggling Nino and the linoleum. They stay entwined for a full minute before they realise no one else is around.
Breath on breath, their laughter dies. Nino’s eyes darken. They are rarely alone, contrary to popular belief. Mainly it’s because Ohno refuses to go for a meal with Nino, refuses to have any one-on-one interaction with Nino on a more intellectual level. At a PV shooting once, Nino had demanded to know why; Ohno had grinned, had explained he’d already been saying ‘no’ all this while so he would keep at it.
Ohno gently prods Nino’s shoulders; Nino doesn’t move. Ohno gives up and relaxes into the floor. Nino will get up only when he wants to.
Tensing, Nino tells him he has something to say - in private, more private than this. When Ohno probes, Nino suggests dinner, just the two of them. Ohno reminds, very quietly, that Arashi sans Sho is going for a meal with the staff before heading back to Tokyo. Nino proposes bailing out.
Ohno shakes his head. He folds his fingers, grazes Nino’s chin with his knuckles. Ohno whispers that it just won’t be the same, and Nino finally sees that Ohno doesn’t love him back.
----
Nino chugs his drink and slams the can onto the tabletop. His lanky companion flails at the noise, swatting Nino’s jaw in the process, and emits a snore. Nino laughs and joins Aiba on the carpet, shutting his eyes, allowing inebriation to arrest him. He hopes its anaesthetic will last.
----
Everyone notices the change in the Ohno-Nino dynamic because Nino has downplayed the off-screen subtlety entirely. He is overtly demonstrative, too frequently curling himself around Ohno, playing with an earlobe or some other random part of Ohno’s anatomy even when the cameras aren’t rolling. It discomfits most, if not all, their colleagues.
Ohno is amused at all the attention he is getting, but knows Nino heals differently from other people. He doesn’t even blink when, during a break in dance practice, Nino pins him to the studio mirror and kisses him, in full view of their gawking instructor and the rest of Arashi.
When Nino is done, Ohno gives him a small smile and walks away.
----
Nino has tried the entire evening to explain, albeit metaphorically, what he wants, what Aiba should feel and how he knows this is right for them. Aiba never does cotton on and instead offers comments like how Nino should really get a new girlfriend because not getting laid is impairing Nino’s cognitive ability.
Nino decided to ditch Sho’s stupid idea and go along with Jun’s more practical one. Handing Aiba a lemon chu-hi and opening one for himself, he proceeded to start ‘loosening up’ with alcohol, no less.
Now, as he crawls to straddle Aiba’s thighs, he realises Jun has always known him best.
----
It takes months of the skinship nonsense to grate on Jun’s nerves and he makes a house call one evening in late summer, armed with two bottles of wine and Sho. Nino begrudgingly lets them in. He is comfortable with these two and their knack of maintaining the delicate balance between respect of privacy and concern; if it were Aiba, he’d want to kill the guy for not being able to read the atmosphere.
Jun has never come uninvited before, but then he’s never had a reason to. He launches into confrontation mode once he gets past the rug at the entryway, explaining that Nino has become a crude human accessory and he wants to help. Sho plays mediator, as always, and Nino is grateful. He opts for honesty after four glasses of red, pouring out details of his one-sided love; Jun and Sho empathise and nod in all the right places. They end up hugging Nino to sleep.
At work the next morning Aiba apologises to Nino by the vending machine. He sheepishly discloses that he’d elected to not invade Nino’s apartment with the other two, since he isn’t good with issues. Nino stares at him for a while before punching his arm, agreeing that Aiba’s a bad friend and therefore should pay for lunch.
----
Finding Nino’s groin inches away from his, Aiba speculates if Nino is drunk. Nino denies it, but he definitely isn’t sober. Aiba continues his barrage of questions but Nino ends up shushing him, pitching forward and blathering into his ear. They manage to hold some semblance of a conversation when Nino decides he doesn’t want to talk anymore.
Vaguely remembering Ohno’s add-on advice of never revealing his real purpose in intoxicating himself Nino tells Aiba he wants sex anyway. After all, Ohno had missed a variable; they never expected Aiba to be drunk as well.
----
It is almost a year later when Nino squeezes Ohno’s ass rather chastely and promises he won’t sexually assault him anymore. Ohno says that he knew Nino had gotten over it when he stopped feeling molested every time Nino touched him. The vibe just wasn’t the same, he claims.
Nino breaks into a grin and drapes an arm around Ohno’s shoulders, reaching for a nipple.
----
Being drunk obviously decrements Nino’s acting prowess, because while he can fake the steady gazes and breathing-on-skin, he isn’t brave enough to kiss Aiba the way he wants to and instead brushes his lips against the side of Aiba’s mouth. He feels afraid despite the liquid courage, unable to read emotion in Aiba’s eyes. The fact that Aiba isn’t even moving confuses him, and he is about to scramble off when Aiba takes hold of his chin and presses their lips together.
----
Sho gets to cover the 2012 Summer Olympics the same time Nino is shooting a Hollywood movie on-location in London. Sounding surreptitious over the phone, Sho insists they must meet. They line up their schedules and find a common slot. Sho looks Nino up at his hotel.
Over breakfast, Sho reveals that he is getting married. He wanted to tell Nino in person, but Nino had left for London before the proposal. And by the way, Sho is going to be a father.
At first Nino thinks Sho is joking because Sho can be quite funny when he wants to. But Sho repeats himself in a way that dispels all notions of mischievous humour, stresses that nothing will happen to the group, which makes Nino put down his cutlery. He studies Sho’s open, earnest face; notices the dark circles and the gauntness of his cheeks.
Nino wonders if Sho is certain about this. He wants to be happy for Sho. He wants Sho to be happy. Sho assures Nino that he is.
----
Nino lets Aiba turn him on his back, and he flushes as Aiba stares. He’s never seen Aiba this intent on him, and he is self-conscious. It’s his first time. He’s allowed to be.
Aiba dips, finding Nino’s lips once more. He murmurs something Nino can’t make out, sneaks his fingers under Nino’s shirt, tracing the lines on his abdomen before undoing the button on his jeans. They part briefly when Aiba lifts Nino’s shirt over his head. Nino’s breathing accelerates as Aiba’s tongue returns to tease his. His hand ventures to Aiba’s waistband, only to find that Aiba has already kicked off his jeans.
Nino smiles into the kiss.
----
When Nino gets back to Japan, he finds Aiba in his kitchen. Jun was supposed to house-sit but apparently, according to Aiba, had to go for an emergency vacation in New York. Again.
So, Jun had conveniently relinquished the apartment key to Aiba and left Thursday morning. Aiba has stageplay rehearsal just a block away, so he took liberties with Nino’s guestroom. Nino asks Aiba if he’s running a hotel, and Aiba tosses him a five-yen coin, swearing to leave the next day. Nino makes him swear to switch off the air-conditioning if he is not at home when Aiba goes.
That evening over supper Nino carefully reveals that he has knowledge of Sho’s impending nuptials. Aiba looks unperturbed, knows what Nino is getting at. Aiba confesses his initial surprise, going so far as to pull an all-nighter counsel with Sho to make sure he was doing it because he really wanted to.
Nino understands. A fortune teller once said Aiba and Sho share the same fates because they were born under the same star; they’ve always had a thing going on. It’s like Nino and Ohno on an entirely different plane and scale. Nino admits: out of all of them Aiba reads Sho the best, loves Sho the most. Aiba says, with a sad smile, that he will miss Sho. Nino knows he would too, though not as much.
----
Nino clamps down on a moan as Aiba’s hand travels south; feels the rough fingers, slicked in lube, gently wrapping around him. Alcohol has never had a strong hold on Nino, and this time is no exception. As its effect wears off, he cannot fully enjoy the moment, aware that this whole reverse chronology thing might not work out; he’s never had sex before romance, what more without it. He dares not imagine what it would be like when all this is over so he pulls Aiba close, arching to reach his mouth.
----
Shortly after Sho’s wedding, Aiba gets into yet another scandal and the agency advises him to live somewhere else for the time being because of the hounding paparazzi camping in the lobby of his apartment complex. When Aiba airs his troubles to Arashi, Nino points out that Aiba still has some things left over from his sojourn in the summer and he might as well move in again.
Aiba stays for a month, and Nino sees a side of Aiba that their pre-debut commune in the agency dormitories never revealed. Aiba and Nino rarely roomed together after Arashi was formed; Sho had somehow always gotten that privilege by way of janken, the rest of them pairing up with Aiba on a somewhat rotational basis. When their popularity had exploded in 2006, they simply stopped sharing.
As such, Nino hasn’t realised the extent to which Aiba has mellowed down over the years. He is more sensible than what he makes himself out to be, always ensuring the heater is turned off, hanging up the parka Nino always absentmindedly chucks onto the back of the sofa. And because there might be a Sho-shaped void in Aiba’s heart that needs filling, Aiba has become more affectionate to the other members, even more so with Nino, who spends the most time with him. Nino doesn’t complain; he’s gotten used to Aiba leaning against him on the couch, holding his hand during a horror movie, touching the small of his back in a sleepy morning greeting when they squeeze past each other at the bathroom door.
When Aiba announces he is free to move back home, Nino discovers he doesn’t want Aiba to go.
----
Nino places his hands on Aiba’s thighs as Aiba shifts into a more comfortable crouch. He feels Aiba’s lips against his temple, hears him promise that he wouldn’t hurt him. Nino wants to ask if he means it, if this can mean more than just a fuck, but instead asks him to shut up and just do it already.
----
After Aiba’s departure from his private life, Nino falls into a downward spiral of secret glances, caustic comebacks and exaggerated physical contact (with everyone, just so he can justify touching Aiba). Of course, Jun notices it first. Jun always notices first, because Jun has never latched on to anyone like how Aiba did with Sho and Nino did with Ohno.
At the Kouhaku dress rehearsal, Jun returns to the greenroom from a smoke break. He finds Nino sprawled on the couch, mashing the buttons on his DS. Jun scans the place to make sure they’re alone and hurriedly shuts the door behind him. In one swift motion he pulls up a chair and plunks it in front of Nino, putting a hand on his knee. Nino pauses the game.
Jun says he knows Nino is in love with Aiba. When Nino immediately throws his head sideways to glance around the room, Jun knows something is wrong.
Sho gets up from behind the couch, choking and cupping his mouth, his fingers dripping coffee onto his costume. He makes a beeline for the bathroom, where Ohno suddenly appears, holding out some paper towels. Sho grabs them appreciatively before lunging at the sink.
Ohno stands stupidly by the beverage table. Jun asks, as calmly as he can, why the bathroom door wasn’t closed and the lights hadn’t been switched on. Ohno says he only wanted to wash his hands, and had been drying them when Jun entered. He tosses a damp paper towel into the trash to prove his point.
Sho looks wretched as he exits the bathroom, explaining that he had made himself a coffee and was rounding the settee, but not before taking a mouthful. Then he noticed his shoelace was untied.
There is a brief, awkward pause before the door is flung open by Aiba, who cheerfully suggests that they join him in Tokio’s greenroom. He is elated and overwhelmed by Arashi’s enthusiastic response.
----
Nino thought it would hurt, but when it happens all he can think of is Aiba has done this before. He frowns, tensing his muscles. He hates that he’s thinking of something like that at a time like this. Aiba begs for him to breathe, to relax. His heart catches when he realises how hard Aiba is trying. He feels hopeful.
Aiba bites down on his lip, finding a rhythm. With each thrust, now all Nino can think of is faster, harder and that is what he tells Aiba, who complies.
----
Nino wakes up to find a hand woven in his. He swipes at his eyes groggily before Sho comes into focus.
He had been filming in the studio next to Nino’s, and decided to pay the set a visit after wrap-up. The crew informed him that Nino was between scenes. Sho gamely asked for Nino’s greenroom.
Nino flexes the fingers alternating with Sho’s and notices the wedding ring. He brings up their hands to look at how the thin band of metal is affecting his grip. It still feels foreign.
Sho slowly lowers himself onto the tatami, nosing the edge of Nino’s mattress, his hand still in Nino’s. He tells Nino he has something to say, and hesitates.
Nino knows this is about Aiba. He waits.
Sho shifts onto the futon, nestling against Nino for warmth. Nino circles an arm lazily around his waist. Sho whispers that Nino should know. It’s over, but Nino has to know.
Nino holds Sho like he is fragile.
It happened sometime during the How it going? tour. Sho and Aiba had been in the shower; neither remembers who made the first move. Sho blushes.
Nino’s throat is dry but he manages to croak a question.
Until last year, Sho answers solemnly, when he knew it wasn’t going anywhere. It was also too painful to be keeping it from everyone.
When Nino doesn’t speak, Sho adds that Aiba’s a better actor than all of them think, and better at using women as smokescreens.
It takes a while for the information to sink in. Nino slowly fists the front of Sho’s shirt, bumping the bridge of his nose against Sho’s collarbone. The sounds that escape his lips are muffled, yet Sho is able to make them out. He assures Nino that it’s never going to happen again. Both he and Aiba have acknowledged that. Plus he’s married, with a kid on the way. He squeezes Nino’s hand once more. Nino feels the ring.
They lie in silence, Sho’s arms sliding apprehensively around Nino. Nino knows whatever he says next is going to change their relationship.
He asks Sho if he regrets it.
Sho asks Nino what ‘it’ means. He doesn’t let go.
Breaking up with Aiba, Nino states plainly.
Sho says no.
They segue into silence. Nino becomes aware of Sho’s pulse, throbbing just a little faster than his own. He clutches Sho’s sloping shoulders, buries his face in the crook of his neck. Sho’s heartbeat regulates.
What he regrets, Sho confides in a wavering voice, is breaking Aiba’s heart.
Nino silently promises to mend it.
----
Nino doesn’t come, but Aiba does and Nino feels bad because he’d been distracted. To mask his guilt he shoves Aiba off, chiding him for poor stamina, throwing in a comment involving Ohno which hopefully offends Aiba enough to make him ignore that Nino is much more sober than he is.
Aiba responds by manhandling him onto the floor.
----
When the Nagoya leg of their tour ends, Aiba flies to China straight from Chubu International so he doesn’t take the bus back to Tokyo with the others. 20 minutes down the freeway Sho abducts Nino from his seat and drags him to the back of the vehicle where Jun and Ohno are waiting, out of earshot of the Juniors and the staff.
For some reason, all three are convinced that sex is the only way to let Aiba know how Nino feels. Nino is not someone whom Aiba would naturally want to love - Nino looks affronted when he hears this, but Sho keeps at it - so Nino has to start with lust. If Aiba doesn’t have sex with Nino he would see Nino as just Nino, but if Nino is able to create some magic in bed, it will put Aiba in perspective.
Jun orchestrates an opportunity - when Aiba comes back from China the next evening, Nino will go pick him up and bring him home. If Aiba questions, Sho adds, Nino is to say that he needs the company; since three years ago on that day Ohno rejected him.
Nino hadn’t supplied Sho that bit of information. He raises his eyebrows at Ohno, who scratches his nose innocently.
Nino listens dumbly as Sho, asserting his position as the Arashi member who knows Aiba best, persuades him to ease Aiba into the idea, encouraging the use of metaphors and simple words to facilitate understanding. Jun rolls his eyes and tells Nino to first loosen up with a couple of beers, and to do it right, lube is the way to go, because it might hurt if Nino hasn’t done it before. Ohno reminds Nino that Aiba can be very sensitive and it probably isn’t a good idea to say outright that Nino wants sex, because if Aiba assumes Nino only wants sex then it’s not going to work out. Sho and Jun widen their eyes at Ohno’s remarkable insight and concur.
----
Despite Nino’s protests Aiba makes him come twice, and they lie on Nino’s carpet, unclothed, breathless.
“…Nino?”
“…Hm?”
“We had sex.”
Nino suspects Aiba isn’t drunk anymore.
“Yeah. We did.”
“Okay.”
Nino isn’t sure what Aiba means, can’t help feeling optimistic.
“I’m sorry,” Aiba murmurs, turning away.
“What? Why?”
“It’s my fault.”
“Idiot.”
“I took off your clothes. I bullied you into it.”
“No. I wanted you.”
“…I wanted you too.”
“I wanted you first,” Nino says softly.
Aiba closes the gap between them, meets Nino’s eyes. “Since when?”
“November. 18th.”
This time Aiba laughs. He threads his fingers in Nino’s hair, presses their foreheads together, steals another kiss; and Nino knows he’s done it right.