The Lonliest Boy In The World
Title: The Loneliest Boy In The World
Author: JerBearThompson
Rating: PG
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Summary: It’s funny that Jack has known, loved and hated so many people, and yet he is still the loneliest boy in the world.
Disclaimer: Yes, yes, we all worship at the shrine of RTD and the BBC.
Notes: Just a drabble written at school, months ago.
He hates it. There has to be something he can do, anything at all. But how can he? How can he make up for years of loneliness, how can he prepare Jack for the many lonely years that are to come? He can’t. But he’s sure as damn hell going to make Jack feel loved and cherished for every day that he’s alive. The Captain deserves at least that much.
Because he hates it. He hates coming in to work every day, and having to see the cold lifelessness of what would have once been shining blue eyes. He hates seeing Jack having to put up a front, to be brave and flamboyant just so he doesn’t have to face the reality of what has been, of what is to come - a world of loneliness.
It’s funny that Jack has known, loved and hated so many people, and yet he is still the loneliest boy in the world. He’s a man, a man that by all rights should be dead. But inside - his vulnerability, his helplessness - that part of him is still a boy, scared and frightened of the world.
Occasionally Ianto will catch him staring, just frozen in his tracks, staring out at nothing, a strange look on his face. Like he’s lost, like he’s unsure where he is, or what he’s meant to be doing. And when Ianto sees that, all he wants to do is gather Jack up into his arms and hold him and kiss him and protect him from the world, until that look fades away.
He wants to, but he never will. It would be degrading for Jack, embarrassing, and the last thing he wants to do is strip the Captain of the thin layer of dignity he’s still managing to uphold. So he lets Jack stare, and when the Captain finally snaps out of it and looks around nervously, Ianto will pretend he has not seen a thing. But the next time he catches Jack’s eye, he’ll give the older man the brightest grin he can muster, and be satisfied with the small, almost shy smile Jack will give back. The one that’s not his usual shining grin, but something he reserves only for those who knew him well, who don’t expect him to be a hero all the time, who understand the uneasiness he sometimes feels inside.
And the Captain will go out, bracing the world with a dazzling grin and an obscene sense of humour. He’ll take charge, bark out orders, yell, laugh, and on rare occasions, even cry. And then he will come home, a small boy inside the body of a man so big. He’ll hug Ianto and Ianto will hug him back. They’ll spend the whole night talking and dancing and drinking coffee and being themselves, before they have to put their masks back in place to face the world again.
Still, no matter how much he can make Jack laugh joyously throughout one evening, Ianto will eventually have to call it a night and settle down for some sleep - whether that be in Jack’s bed or his own. And while he sleeps, Jack will be left to his own thoughts again, he will again have to acknowledge the people he has lost, which will make him come to the conclusion that he will soon lose Ianto as well. And again, he’ll become the loneliest boy in the world.
Author: JerBearThompson
Rating: PG
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Summary: It’s funny that Jack has known, loved and hated so many people, and yet he is still the loneliest boy in the world.
Disclaimer: Yes, yes, we all worship at the shrine of RTD and the BBC.
Notes: Just a drabble written at school, months ago.
He hates it. There has to be something he can do, anything at all. But how can he? How can he make up for years of loneliness, how can he prepare Jack for the many lonely years that are to come? He can’t. But he’s sure as damn hell going to make Jack feel loved and cherished for every day that he’s alive. The Captain deserves at least that much.
Because he hates it. He hates coming in to work every day, and having to see the cold lifelessness of what would have once been shining blue eyes. He hates seeing Jack having to put up a front, to be brave and flamboyant just so he doesn’t have to face the reality of what has been, of what is to come - a world of loneliness.
It’s funny that Jack has known, loved and hated so many people, and yet he is still the loneliest boy in the world. He’s a man, a man that by all rights should be dead. But inside - his vulnerability, his helplessness - that part of him is still a boy, scared and frightened of the world.
Occasionally Ianto will catch him staring, just frozen in his tracks, staring out at nothing, a strange look on his face. Like he’s lost, like he’s unsure where he is, or what he’s meant to be doing. And when Ianto sees that, all he wants to do is gather Jack up into his arms and hold him and kiss him and protect him from the world, until that look fades away.
He wants to, but he never will. It would be degrading for Jack, embarrassing, and the last thing he wants to do is strip the Captain of the thin layer of dignity he’s still managing to uphold. So he lets Jack stare, and when the Captain finally snaps out of it and looks around nervously, Ianto will pretend he has not seen a thing. But the next time he catches Jack’s eye, he’ll give the older man the brightest grin he can muster, and be satisfied with the small, almost shy smile Jack will give back. The one that’s not his usual shining grin, but something he reserves only for those who knew him well, who don’t expect him to be a hero all the time, who understand the uneasiness he sometimes feels inside.
And the Captain will go out, bracing the world with a dazzling grin and an obscene sense of humour. He’ll take charge, bark out orders, yell, laugh, and on rare occasions, even cry. And then he will come home, a small boy inside the body of a man so big. He’ll hug Ianto and Ianto will hug him back. They’ll spend the whole night talking and dancing and drinking coffee and being themselves, before they have to put their masks back in place to face the world again.
Still, no matter how much he can make Jack laugh joyously throughout one evening, Ianto will eventually have to call it a night and settle down for some sleep - whether that be in Jack’s bed or his own. And while he sleeps, Jack will be left to his own thoughts again, he will again have to acknowledge the people he has lost, which will make him come to the conclusion that he will soon lose Ianto as well. And again, he’ll become the loneliest boy in the world.