fighting sure wears a person out. sometimes you just have to take a break and calm down. that's what this is right now. i hate feeling like my feelings don't matter, like if they get ignored or told that they aren't important because they aren't what others are feeling. nothing makes me feel more worthless, disrespected, and taken advantage of, ( Read more... )

genius is insanity usefully applied.
-marc edmund jones

an old quote i recently found again

well... i know i'll sound like a hypocrite now but life isn't that bad. it gets crazy sometimes. i know my problems have not been solved or even touched but i do feel better now. jana has really been trying lately and i haven't been appreciating what she has done for me as much as i should be. she hurts me but then she makes me feel better then i ( Read more... )

if i do something, it's wrong, if i do nothing, it's wrong. where will you let me be right? how do you expect me to become a man when evertime i try to step out of my boundries, you throw me right back down. i try my hrdest to do what i think you want, but it's ALWAYS WRONG. how in the hell do you expect me to do what you want? how in the hell do ( Read more... )

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have you ever felt like no matter what you do to help someone, if they do not want to help themselves, all that you've done is worthless. i have spent the past four months being caught between wanting with all my heart to help someone better themselves and not wanting to overstep their own personal boundries. i have asked them if they think i am ( Read more... )

just got done writing this stupid paper. the paper itself wasn't stupid but rather the fact i had to write it. it's a month unitl school's out and the last thing i want to do is write more papers. not that i really have a choice of course, well as long as i want a good grade that is. ugh... i'll be happy when i'm all done with school and i can do ( Read more... )

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well... i just spent the past week at my girlfreind's house. it was a totally spontanious thing to do which is totally unlike me. but yeah, i drove 7 hours down there on last tues. and then 6 back on sun night. i know there is some good reason for us being apart for so long but i don't know what it is nor do i really want it. i'd rather be able to ( Read more... )