A Bigger Fool Never Lived
I have a crapload of homework to do and my legs are sore from tennis but I really feel this story is definitely one to learn from.
So recently, God has given me many blessings. Senior year has been turning out great. Everything I've worked for has earned me high positions as a soloist for our choir competition show, a lead for our musical, and a spot on varsity for tennis. Everything has been great with the parentals and amigos. Now when everything is going great, you begin noticing what you lack. Such as, maybe, a relationship?
I miss being able to call someone for no reason. I miss being able to cuddle with someone. I miss being able to talk to someone for hours about nothing. I miss being able to fall asleep on someone's shoulder. I miss being able to appreciate someone as much as I appreciate them.
So I have been interested in this girl for probably a good two months. We talk pretty often and I recieve positive feedback from her as well. I can't believe I fell for her because quite frankly, I can see how we're just friends. And we SHOULD be just friends. Everything is happier that way.
So the other night, I was talking to her and so involved in telling her about how I feel, that I just slipped.
"And then I go and spoil it all,
By saying something stupid like:
I love you."
Damn.
I don't feel like a fool for liking her because honestly, I don't understand how anyone cannot. I feel like a fool for having it affect her. Me liking her does ultimately affect her, however, the fault is not hers at all. I feel guilty for having my emotions ruin a friendship she was satisfied with. This all happened due to my inability to be satisfied with status quo. What kind of human being have I become? I always want more.
The response you ask? She told me she could tell. Listed my actions and why they meant what they did. And she was definitely right. Consequently, we're just friends. Besides, she's not my type and she's interested in someone else.
Although we agreed that this would not affect our friendship, it has. Hopefully it's just temporary because I really enjoy her company and what we already have.
Well, while I was so absorbed in pursuit of this one girl, I forget about the friendships I already have. A friend vented (simultaneously while I slipped to the girl of interest) about how much she enjoys my company and how she's afraid she's losing me. I began to become teary-eyed. I couldn't believe she felt this way about me.
Here I am, trying to find myself a Valentine, when my real Valentine is one I don't have to look for. It's a friendship I already have.
Two friendships damaged due to the fact that I just wanted more than what I already have. It's pretty ridiculous and certainly something to learn from. Desire is the downfall of many. However, how will you ever learn if you never fall?
So recently, God has given me many blessings. Senior year has been turning out great. Everything I've worked for has earned me high positions as a soloist for our choir competition show, a lead for our musical, and a spot on varsity for tennis. Everything has been great with the parentals and amigos. Now when everything is going great, you begin noticing what you lack. Such as, maybe, a relationship?
I miss being able to call someone for no reason. I miss being able to cuddle with someone. I miss being able to talk to someone for hours about nothing. I miss being able to fall asleep on someone's shoulder. I miss being able to appreciate someone as much as I appreciate them.
So I have been interested in this girl for probably a good two months. We talk pretty often and I recieve positive feedback from her as well. I can't believe I fell for her because quite frankly, I can see how we're just friends. And we SHOULD be just friends. Everything is happier that way.
So the other night, I was talking to her and so involved in telling her about how I feel, that I just slipped.
"And then I go and spoil it all,
By saying something stupid like:
I love you."
Damn.
I don't feel like a fool for liking her because honestly, I don't understand how anyone cannot. I feel like a fool for having it affect her. Me liking her does ultimately affect her, however, the fault is not hers at all. I feel guilty for having my emotions ruin a friendship she was satisfied with. This all happened due to my inability to be satisfied with status quo. What kind of human being have I become? I always want more.
The response you ask? She told me she could tell. Listed my actions and why they meant what they did. And she was definitely right. Consequently, we're just friends. Besides, she's not my type and she's interested in someone else.
Although we agreed that this would not affect our friendship, it has. Hopefully it's just temporary because I really enjoy her company and what we already have.
Well, while I was so absorbed in pursuit of this one girl, I forget about the friendships I already have. A friend vented (simultaneously while I slipped to the girl of interest) about how much she enjoys my company and how she's afraid she's losing me. I began to become teary-eyed. I couldn't believe she felt this way about me.
Here I am, trying to find myself a Valentine, when my real Valentine is one I don't have to look for. It's a friendship I already have.
Two friendships damaged due to the fact that I just wanted more than what I already have. It's pretty ridiculous and certainly something to learn from. Desire is the downfall of many. However, how will you ever learn if you never fall?