poems
"a love all its own"
i used to find it hard to
express my feelings
to you
because i felt as though
i was sharing myself
with the world.
i was so afraid of being
hurt again
of feeling
pain again
of being so alone...
but now i understand that
you are there with me
and i'm not so afraid
anymore.
for you to hold me
in your arms
is the sweetest
pleasure...
but when you pull away,
the cold air
rushes in
between us
biting my heart
and mocking me
for believing in you
for trusting in
this feeling.
i need you to tell me
i'm not crazy
that i'm not
alone in this dream.
i need to know that what i'm
fighting for
is worth everything i'm losing
on the side.
i'm so afraid to love you,
but even more afraid to
lose.
i just want to melt into you
and never feel anything
but your touch
your kiss.
i just want to breathe
you into my soul
and never let go.
you are my favorite dream,
but i'm terrified
of waking.
please just let me lie
beside you
wrapped up in your
warmth,
your life.
let me cling to you.
oh dark angel...
protect me.
i have nothing to offer you
but this innocent
love...
is that enough?
i have nothing but my
past to show you,
unless you plunge into
my soul to see
why i cry in my sleep,
what haunts me…
would you see the
bruises, the cuts,
the scars he left behind?
would you see how much he
hurt me?
could you feel it too?
i have nothing but myself to give
and i wonder how soon
you will grow
tired of just me.
"Be Careful With Your Words"
Be careful with your words
Sometimes they hurt too much
I wish that you could feel this
I wish that you could see
I’m standing before you
And this is all I have to give
Is just myself…
Is that good enough?
Let the covers fall away
Stand before you now
I’m naked before you
Can you tell?
I’ve never felt like this
So be careful with me
I love you more than
You could ever love me
Rip out my heart
But do so gently
I wouldn’t mind the pain
Because it’s caused by you
I’m not afraid to show you
I want you to see
"Unsaid pt. 2"
You silence me with
Nothing more than
A single look.
You move towards me
Slowly,
Eyes looking in at my
Soul...
When you reach me,
My world crumbles,
My heart ceases to beat
In any fathomable rhythym.
A simple lean in and
Breath upon my neck
Weakens my knees
And sends an intense heat
Throughout my body.
You find the curve of
My neck and kiss it
Sweetly...
You think to yourself that
You recognize the scent,
The taste…
And you inwardly know
That its familiarity
Lies in those precious
Few
Moments we have lived
In our own Eden
(Ah, beautiful Garden of Evil)
Let’s be in love at night
Where the shadows
Can consume the
Lies.
I wish I could explore
Your body,
Claim sanctuary from
The world
In it.
I am new in these
Games, my hands
Are not yet experienced.
(I want to learn from you)
I will let you undress me;
I will show you my
Heart, or give it to you
(If you should so want it)
Just promise me that
Every
Time you touch me,
An ounce of sincerity
And love
Should radiate from it.
I give myself to you
In full
… I wish I hadn’t said all this.
Some things are
Better left
Unsaid.
"Song for You"
v1:
Lying in the dark
Listenin’ to you breathe
Watch you smile
Are you dreamin’ of me?
Pre-Chorus 1:
I almost forgot
I almost believed
Thought that this
Feeling could be
Chorus:
Such a cold night
Lying next to you
A stranger in disguise
Such a fool
Who are you?
I swear I’ve seen your face
Now we’re in a mad world
Such a turned around place
V2:
I slip away
Pull on my clothes
Pack my things
Got no place to go
Pre-Chorus 2:
Everything’s changing
What went wrong?
Lost in the insanity
So I wrote this song
Chorus:
Such a cold night
Lying next to you
A stranger in disguise
Such a fool
Who are you?
I swear I’ve seen your face
Now we’re in a mad world
Such a turned around place
Bridge:
Twisted thoughts
We play the game
Excuse me while
I kiss the flame
Pre-Chorus 1
Chorus
"Untitled"
Your smile so translucent in memory
Jilted tongue speaking
Hollow promises scattered on a bed
Like roses sharp as glass.
Your touch oiled with experience
Knowing too well my yearning
Innocence forgotten in such
Unbounded nights.
Your oscillating eyes taking form
Of my naive dreams
Untold wonders deep in their well
You held me prisoner there.
Kiss as poisonous as your serpent bite
Marked your territory
So blackened is your greed
Lusting for that untamed virginity of the mind.
"Words Never Capture You in the Moment"
Words never capture you in the moment
Only the memories that have carefully set in
Over time.
Your face lingers in my mind,
Your voice echoes incessantly in my heart.
I love you,
This is simple but true.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Floating on the breeze,
Barely grazing the mysterious waters,
I am lost in my flight of love.
His touch sends me higher into a dazzling
Array of colors
Painted in my own picturesque world.
I long to become one with the earth
So that I may feel this
In yet another way.
It seems as though my dreams have melted
Into reality.
"Within the Shelter of my Mind"
Within the shelter of my mind,
Dreams run rampant and free,
Though often times I’m not quite sure
How to shake these chains from me.
Poetry to prose, I learn to bleed
And wither away too slow
Until the lightening crashes madly
Directs me where to go.
Nightmares are inside me,
Taunting memories I often hear.
And often times it seems
Laughter booms in the deaf man’s ears.
Too much pain is crawling
Underneath my skin.
I see his face behind closed eyes
And feel the rape again.
A child screaming, tears flowing
My heart is bruised from this.
He took away my entire life,
My happiness and innocence.
Fragile body beaten down
Dragged up the steps by hair
Thrown roughly on a creaky bed
Ripping clothes off and leaving me bare.
No one home to save me
Wrists bound tight and true
His sweaty body on top of me
Oh God, where were you?
Screams echoing, useless,
Against uncaring walls.
Over and over he beat me
If to God I began to call.
I tried to fight his anger,
But wasn’t strong or tough.
My tiny body at age sixteen
And panicked words were not enough.
He roughly forced his way
Into my chastity
Ripping me apart as
He claimed my virginity.
How could I have thought
A monster to be my love?
His answers were not kindness,
But to hit, to scream, to shove.
Seconds turned to hours,
Hours fading to frailty.
I thought the worse was yet to come,
And yet, suddenly…
A brother coming up the stairs
Brought hope of my pain’s end.
Instead he laughed and turned his back.
I was alone without a friend.
My voice gave way to silence
Eyes flickering with fear
What horror had I landed upon?
What evil of forgotten years?
Oh my heart, please love again
Two long years have past.
But teach me how I begin today
To face this memory at last!
Who can save a broken soul?
I’m simply shards of glass
Broken in more ways than one
By nightmares of my past.