the end is the beginning is the end...

[jesfine]

how do you know when it's time to cut your losses in a relationship

Comments

[tisana]

I want to smack both of you, you know. You're both responsible for this communication problem. And that's what it is; it's not one-sided, he thinks you're not trying, either. You need to talk to each other, and make sure you say and ask everything you need to. It would be incredibly stupid to let something like this go because you were both too lazy and preferred to assume what the other meant by an action.

[gemmintheruff]

But if you don't speak the other's language, should both remain frustrated? Sometimes love isn't enough, not when a healthy relationship takes so much more. If communication doesn't come naturally, especially after living together for some time, that can also be a very natural warning that something isn't "meant to be" or even "meant to be anymore".

[tisana]

No, you're right, I don't believe in fighting for the sake of fighting for something, and I know he doesn't, either. It just sounds like they both don't want this to end (or at least not like this), so it may be worth looking at how they communicate, and trying to see it from the other's side, and maybe learning to speak the other's language.

For myself, your comment completely applies, it's always what I end up asking myself: "is it worth it?" It may be, for them.

[gemmintheruff]

Only their efforts will tell. When you find something or someone you can't (or don't really want) to live without, one changes and hopefully for the better. That's what my relationship with J represented to me: something worth making better choices not to lose. It was obvious to all who knew/met us that we were compatible, but also that I was not healthy/mature for the relationship to continue healthily. Sometimes others are just catalysts for aspects of our personal growth and making more of the relationship just jades one or both.

I think the only real answer comes when one prays/ponders/meditates the matter and goes with the route that brings the most personal inner peace, even if it isn't what one wants at the time.