But what's Talos got against me datin' them blacksmith girls?
The best part of Manowar's show last night happened to be Maria Breon's tits. Oh, and i'm about done with Skyrim!
I finally "finished" Skyrim, in the sense that the main story is completed and nearly all questlines for the various factions were wrapped up; i never returned the Thief's Guild to their "full glory", whatever that means, and - this fucking blew my mind when i noticed it after completing the final mission for the main quest - i've never set foot in Rorikstead. I was flabbergasted. How could i have missed out on visiting an entire fucking town? It was really weird. Anyway, otherwise i've pretty much done a lot of the essential, non-Radiant scenarios and the rest would just be fooling around in the snowy north and having a really great time. 93 hours or so total, just shy of level 50, a surprising amount of achievements nabbed (in fact, the only one that i actually won't be able to ding on this playthrough is acquiring all fifteen Daedric artifacts, because during one quest i refused to reconstruct the item).
Obviously, i loved it. There were times i'd just be walking around and it would start to snow and you'd maybe just crest some rocky bluff and just see the wilderness spread out before you beneath a shroud of white and that alone is worth the price of admission. Maybe you'd wander back into a town after clearing out some draugr infested dungeon and it would be pouring rain, lightning flashing across the sky. That's not to mention any time you're trudging on to some distant objective and hear the thunderous beating of dragon wings, just before that sky-splitting roar, the clarion sounding for battle.
My favorite dragonslaying set-pieces took place in Dawnstar and Riverwood. The former had me facing off against two dragons at once. Constant running back and forth, watching guards drop to their knees, darting past townfolk cowering beside their homes, trying to bring one of the beasts down from the sky while the other had attracted the ire of nearby giants after fucking with one of their mammoths. Just a total melee across the entire spectrum of Skyrim's denizens. The latter was probably the most ideal, inspired bit of actual wyrm-killing. It was the toughest dragon i had fought up to that point: usually they weren't so bad, doing little damage and requiring only one well-placed shout of Slow Time once they hit the ground to put them in the earth. But this motherfucker was different. Showed up, and right off the bat fucking slaughtered Alvor and his wife, while their kid started wailing. A blast of Fire Breath drained me near to a quarter of my total health. Shit looked grim! So, instead of some simple gameplay scenario it because an intense, deeply satisfying struggle against a greater foe - i was running beneath bridges, hiding behind buildings, taking potshots with my bow, and when he finally dropped out of the sky and tumbled to the earth, those last seconds of glorious battle were Goddamned invigorating. That's what this game is about.
Anyway, i don't actually want to speak at length about it. In the end tally, it's probably one of the best experiences i've had the pleasure of, uh, experiencing! That said, there are a few things that i don't particularly care for.
Namely, the fact that you are a super badass. Is that weird of me to say, or take issue with? I just... i mean, you're the fucking Dragonborn right out of the gate. That's fucking cool! I don't need to become the fucking Arch-Mage of the College, or the new master of the Thief's Guild, or the Listener of the Dark Brotherhood, or one of the new Nightingales, or any of that shit. It's too much! It smacks very slightly to me of wish-fulfilment that gets a little too overindulgent. I mean, i wasn't even a fucking magic user? And they decide that just because i showed up and did some okay shit helping them out of a bind that i qualify to lead an entire academy of wizards and shit? Get real! And i'm sure it's easy to say, "Well, don't do those quests!" Well, why the fuck would you restrict yourself from missing out on that much content? Maybe i'd have less of a problem with it if, instead of making you the new Glorious Leader, they simply say "Hey, thanks for the help man, but to be frank you just showed up about fourty-five minutes ago, so... go get me a fucking coffee."
Second, which is only really a minor concern, is the fucking little bugs and glitches here and there. Stupid shit like sidequests not being resolved, or breaking, shit like that. Given the size and scope of the game, it's easy to forgive and i really don't hold it against Bethesda all that much. But fuck, it's annoying as Hell not to be able to hand in some of this shit because it just plain doesn't work in the code.
Last, the main quest was a little too short. Even given that i'd pretty much stretched it out over nearly a hundred hours of gameplay, it seemed like blink-and-you'll-miss-it quick. On the other hand - and again, without spoiling - the last few missions of the main story were fucking awesome, even given a sorta lackluster final tussle. But the setting and the context were seriously fucking chill-inducing. Totally great! And, of course, i sided with the Stormcloaks. That entire questline was fucking fun as Hell. I loved the new titles Ulfric would bestow upon you after every success - Ice-Veins, Bone-Breaker, Snow-Hammer, and Stormblade. If i do a quick replay, i may just skip out on a lot of, uh, everything and just see what it's like rolling with the Imperials. I just don't know what sort of character i'd play. Maybe an Orc with two-handed or duel wield, or a Bosmer with magic and archery. We'll see!
So, the end of an era. A week of glory in the snowy north, and now i'm back in the real world. I have a bunch of really nice screenshots, but i'm too lazy to resize and shit LMFAO. Also, i wish you could marry Hermir Strong-Heart, the blacksmith girl.
Today, i will drink many beers and watch many zombos. I should probably try and find a job, now that i'm done playing video games LMFAO. I want a lot of clothes.
I finally "finished" Skyrim, in the sense that the main story is completed and nearly all questlines for the various factions were wrapped up; i never returned the Thief's Guild to their "full glory", whatever that means, and - this fucking blew my mind when i noticed it after completing the final mission for the main quest - i've never set foot in Rorikstead. I was flabbergasted. How could i have missed out on visiting an entire fucking town? It was really weird. Anyway, otherwise i've pretty much done a lot of the essential, non-Radiant scenarios and the rest would just be fooling around in the snowy north and having a really great time. 93 hours or so total, just shy of level 50, a surprising amount of achievements nabbed (in fact, the only one that i actually won't be able to ding on this playthrough is acquiring all fifteen Daedric artifacts, because during one quest i refused to reconstruct the item).
Obviously, i loved it. There were times i'd just be walking around and it would start to snow and you'd maybe just crest some rocky bluff and just see the wilderness spread out before you beneath a shroud of white and that alone is worth the price of admission. Maybe you'd wander back into a town after clearing out some draugr infested dungeon and it would be pouring rain, lightning flashing across the sky. That's not to mention any time you're trudging on to some distant objective and hear the thunderous beating of dragon wings, just before that sky-splitting roar, the clarion sounding for battle.
My favorite dragonslaying set-pieces took place in Dawnstar and Riverwood. The former had me facing off against two dragons at once. Constant running back and forth, watching guards drop to their knees, darting past townfolk cowering beside their homes, trying to bring one of the beasts down from the sky while the other had attracted the ire of nearby giants after fucking with one of their mammoths. Just a total melee across the entire spectrum of Skyrim's denizens. The latter was probably the most ideal, inspired bit of actual wyrm-killing. It was the toughest dragon i had fought up to that point: usually they weren't so bad, doing little damage and requiring only one well-placed shout of Slow Time once they hit the ground to put them in the earth. But this motherfucker was different. Showed up, and right off the bat fucking slaughtered Alvor and his wife, while their kid started wailing. A blast of Fire Breath drained me near to a quarter of my total health. Shit looked grim! So, instead of some simple gameplay scenario it because an intense, deeply satisfying struggle against a greater foe - i was running beneath bridges, hiding behind buildings, taking potshots with my bow, and when he finally dropped out of the sky and tumbled to the earth, those last seconds of glorious battle were Goddamned invigorating. That's what this game is about.
Anyway, i don't actually want to speak at length about it. In the end tally, it's probably one of the best experiences i've had the pleasure of, uh, experiencing! That said, there are a few things that i don't particularly care for.
Namely, the fact that you are a super badass. Is that weird of me to say, or take issue with? I just... i mean, you're the fucking Dragonborn right out of the gate. That's fucking cool! I don't need to become the fucking Arch-Mage of the College, or the new master of the Thief's Guild, or the Listener of the Dark Brotherhood, or one of the new Nightingales, or any of that shit. It's too much! It smacks very slightly to me of wish-fulfilment that gets a little too overindulgent. I mean, i wasn't even a fucking magic user? And they decide that just because i showed up and did some okay shit helping them out of a bind that i qualify to lead an entire academy of wizards and shit? Get real! And i'm sure it's easy to say, "Well, don't do those quests!" Well, why the fuck would you restrict yourself from missing out on that much content? Maybe i'd have less of a problem with it if, instead of making you the new Glorious Leader, they simply say "Hey, thanks for the help man, but to be frank you just showed up about fourty-five minutes ago, so... go get me a fucking coffee."
Second, which is only really a minor concern, is the fucking little bugs and glitches here and there. Stupid shit like sidequests not being resolved, or breaking, shit like that. Given the size and scope of the game, it's easy to forgive and i really don't hold it against Bethesda all that much. But fuck, it's annoying as Hell not to be able to hand in some of this shit because it just plain doesn't work in the code.
Last, the main quest was a little too short. Even given that i'd pretty much stretched it out over nearly a hundred hours of gameplay, it seemed like blink-and-you'll-miss-it quick. On the other hand - and again, without spoiling - the last few missions of the main story were fucking awesome, even given a sorta lackluster final tussle. But the setting and the context were seriously fucking chill-inducing. Totally great! And, of course, i sided with the Stormcloaks. That entire questline was fucking fun as Hell. I loved the new titles Ulfric would bestow upon you after every success - Ice-Veins, Bone-Breaker, Snow-Hammer, and Stormblade. If i do a quick replay, i may just skip out on a lot of, uh, everything and just see what it's like rolling with the Imperials. I just don't know what sort of character i'd play. Maybe an Orc with two-handed or duel wield, or a Bosmer with magic and archery. We'll see!
So, the end of an era. A week of glory in the snowy north, and now i'm back in the real world. I have a bunch of really nice screenshots, but i'm too lazy to resize and shit LMFAO. Also, i wish you could marry Hermir Strong-Heart, the blacksmith girl.
Today, i will drink many beers and watch many zombos. I should probably try and find a job, now that i'm done playing video games LMFAO. I want a lot of clothes.