The History of Long Stride Lizzy Revised Chapter One...
“I wish you wouldn’t go alone.” He’d said. She responded by kissing the top of his forehead where his black hair met the first of his worry lines. This was the beginning and end of the argument, but it was enough to satisfy them both on the matter. Chad and Jess were equals in the arts of bickering and would have happily spent the
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Comments 1
Your writing flies off the page, so I want to read faster and faster to see what would happen. I like your main character and wonder how she came off the streets, yet still remains friends with one (Lizzi) I also liked how her demeanor changed when she entered the poorer district, I could really visualize that well.
I'm glad you didn't describe Jack too much. More for the imagination or later in the story.
My only comment would be the first couple of sentances took me two times through to figure out. Wording? Phrasing? I don't know, but they tripped me up.
And then everything flowed.
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