even as one ends. goodbye my sweet angel. you were with me not nearly long enough. i can only hope that you and your brother are together. i will always miss you.

love forever and always mummy

thought about throwing myself under the peak hour traffic this afternoon. instead i came home to cry some more. but never mind, ryan got me a doctor who got me some pills. now he wont have to deal with me, and can have the zombie wife he wants.

jess

well thuis journal is very rarely for good things. so what a surprise about the next post ( Read more... )

so tired. i just want to scream. i havent slept a good night sleep in months. ryan never comes to bed with me, so when he does come to bed he wakes me up again, then the bubs will stir an hour or two later and wake me up again. then most nights chels or maddy or both will end up in bed with us keeping me awake ( Read more... )

ive never been so scared in my life. what if we lose everything? where will we go? how will i tell everyone? yet another failure to add to my list. i cant even keep a roof of my kids heads. i hate my life.

life seems pretty good atm. i think that the really bad stuff was mainly because of the drugs. only a few more days til egg pick up and im hopefully off the ivf egg donor program for good. i love my recipients couple so much i will keep going if they need me too...i just wish they would hurry up and get pregnant ( Read more... )

things are much better around here tis weekend. onm friday night i went to bed not angry (which meant i actually slept better), i woke up at around midday (ryan took chels to violin lessons, and took the other girls too) and showered and heated up some left over thai takeaway. at about 1pm everyone got home, the bubs slept and ryan made me laugh ( Read more... )

so he takes the day off work cause he is worried about me. but does he do anything? no. the house is still trashed. and because he didnt organise himself properly he has just lkeft to go to his doctors appointment at the time of ultimate kaos in this house - between 4 and 5:30. so i have to feed al the kids, bath and get the babies ready for bed ( Read more... )

well just typical now ryan has changed jobs macdonalds decides im hireable. well since i didnt get the job after the interview ryan has switched to a job which would make it almost impossible to take the job and ive enrolled in uni. and i feel like total crap because i know we need the money. i know when ryan said we'd be ok...that we might not. i ( Read more... )

when a photoframe hits you on the bridge of your nose LOL

jess