(no subject)
1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge
against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking
you.
3. When you smile - I will know you've finally had sex.
4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I
get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how
much worse it could be and tell you to quit whining.
6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick - stay the hell away from me until you are well
again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.