I found to believe in something greater than myself... I found to believe that it isn't as hard to overcome, that you just have to keep enuff tools in your toolbox to really feel like you can do it. I feel so overwhelmed with emotions right now.. that I can't really think straight. Yet I am thinking more clearly than I ever have in a very long time ( Read more... )

I was going absolutely insane lastnight. I feared for my life. Cryed a lot more and the tears felt more real than ever. I felt so much pain, and I figured out the reason why only today. I realized that I just fear that my love for josh has changed dramatically. I am really fucking paranoid that we are loosing hope in love. And I have never felt ( Read more... )

I just recently watched the movie V: For Vendetta. It was so very refreshing to see a movie come out in the big screen theatres that wasn't a romantic comedy. For a change, an action movie with real presence behind it.. with real honesty, and a clean clear message as well.. and for once a movie that has some serious issues dealing with a struggle ( Read more... )

I found out that I am raring to go. I need to get some things settled before I go though.

I um..... had the worst morning eva earlier. I don't know.. but my luck is running a lil thin. I am not surprised that I haven't relapsed yet.

My Mum has the book: "Stop Walking On Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder" by Paul t. Mason and Randi Kreger.....

She cares... she really does care!!!

a piece of me in every single day... and if it's true then tell me how we got this way....

I look at the lyrics and realize how much it hurts and upsets your life when people disappear from it forever or even in just a slight bit of happenstance. Whenever someone leaves in some way, shape, or form it takes what seems like a lifetime to get your ( Read more... )

A lil' birdy told me not to get out of bed this morning. I cried. A lil' bit of crock if you ask me. Changing my ways frequently is another man's gain and a loss of blood for me. I sink my teeth into my gums and walk away. Hopefully, the bleeding will subside until another day. Alone at last, the fallen star sinks into a bed of purely drowned roses ( Read more... )

I loosely untie my tie and throw it haphazardly on the ground below the foot of my bed. It doesn't appreciate me anymore. I look at myself in the mirror, realizing how much I have grown over the past few minutes even. Nothing will save me from my past though. It will forever haunt my deepest thoughts and premonitions of how my life will turn out in ( Read more... )

I am having the biggest fucking stomach pains ever...grrr it really sucks dick!! I try to calm them down by eating, hopefully it is just pains based off of being terribly hungry...but nope it happens to make it worse. Sitting down makes it all burbly inside, and standing up just makes me want to fall down due to heavy nausea and extreme fatigue. My ( Read more... )