My essay, opinions?

[jesslovesit]

Out of the AshesAs Frank McCourt explains in his world-renowned memoir about growing up in poverty, “Worse than the ordinary miserable childhood is the miserable Irish childhood, and worse yet is the miserable Irish Catholic childhood” (McCourt 11). Angela’s Ashes is the story of how a young boy finds the ability within himself to overcome the

Comments

[robot_rawr]

A few things:
You use 'you' a few times, which shouldn't be used in formal writing. (I tend to always use 'you' by accident, so I've been working on being more conscious and pick up on it :])
After some time he eventually abandons the family leaving them helpless and hopeless. In my opinion, a comma should be used after 'time'.
Because of this, Frank became what his father could not and provided for his suffering family by doing all he could to provide for his mother and siblings. This seems a bit repetitive.

Woo! I kind of enjoy editing papers (is that weird?), and I find it helpful when someone does it for me. I like it so far, and I hope my few comments helped a bit. :]

[jesslovesit]

We were allowed to write in first person, so that's why I used you and I but thanks for all the hints :)