updates only too late

[jessutp]

1. the problem with not owning a computer, is that by the time i get to one, my little head has been infiltrated by about a thousand and one annoyances... and so... when i start to write i feel the urge to tell my group of friends about say, the homeless kids on the street that i see everyday in passing (& the very smiley cheshire one who always

Comments

[phlemmonster]

hello jess

[jessutp]

hello meester.

[greyface]

Like ratpackslim, this is gonna take another read or 3... but in my self-defense... ;)

so, do i play it like some american bride-to-be and regulate what is touched when? mark and dole out my affections and words, just so that i might have the hope of a regular partner to be intimate with in the future? it sounds SO awfully boring that way. my friends, my closest friends, were never doled out affections and words - we "got" each other. why should my lover be any different?

The question is, how do you decide who "gets" you? You don't give little pieces of yourself to your friends, or meter their "consumption"... but are you reserved with new friends? acquaintances? strangers? friends you've had for a long time but never really connected with? I, for one, feel justified regulating contact with me (physical or otherwise), and it's an exception for particular people based on me trusting/loving them that they have me unreservedly (well... to the extent that I'm ever unreserved (heh)). Past justification, there's desire, and you (or

[jessutp]

hahaha... i'd forgotten about your parenthesis.

see you are probably the MOST reserved man i know. you think about all possible outcomes ions before the first step is made... however you also gave me a try in a dating sense even though you may have been nervous.

irresponsible and spontinious... greedy or knowing oneself... i suppose it depends on intent.

i intend to be loved as much as i am willing to love. that's ALOT! :)

[anonymous]

i want to be adored. i want to be loved and fucked and blindside trainwrecked because i am god's own bright end and beginning. but it's not owed me, it's not expected. i'll get it because i'll build it with the thick of my blood and the splinter of my bones. and it will be long in the getting, long in the building, long in the lonely nights. but give-and-take have no place here.

who am i to preach? yes, i engineer my own exquisite agony. yes, i go the long and motley and perilously solitary road. yes, i yes and yes. who am i? i am the prime mover. i am the: first i fashion the self. and only sometimes with the slow-steady weave of other and another. and maybe one day i'll have it all. because i built it. and that one other is simply there, seamless integration, tautology through difference...

Wax on, wax off

[dwnwrdsprl]

really, i just want it all and i've never gotten it. Don't we all

isobel translated to oraclese

[oracleasylum]

Of Blood, Body, and Movement