phrases that describe my hometown (in VT)
The "road hog" in front of you on Main Street is a farmer's combine.
-usually a tractor.. but pretty much.
The local phone book has only one yellow page.
-our local phone book didn't have yellow pages.. we had a spiral-bound book with like 50 pages total.. and those pages were like 6 1/2" x 8 1/2".
You leave your jacket on the back of the chair in the cafe, and when you go back the next day, it's still there, on the same chair.
-actually, our cafe gets a lot of tourists, so that probably wouldn't happen.. but the waitresses know all the locals, so I'd get it handed back to me the next time I went in (or someone would bring it up to my dad's house for me).
No social events can be scheduled when the school gym floor is being varnished.
-that's only half-true.. but we do use the gym floor for a lot of things.
You call a wrong number and they supply you with the correct one.
-all the time, haha!
Everyone knows all the news before it's published; they just read the hometown paper to see whether the publisher got it right.
-I don't think we have a paper..
The city limits signs are both on the same post!
-we don't have city limit signs.. it's not worth it.
The City jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell.
- we also don't have a jail. I think the nearest one is like an hour away.
The one-block-long Main Street dead ends in both directions.
Second Street is in the next town over.
- none of the surrounding towns have enough streets for that.
There's no place to go that you shouldn't.
- pretty much. though there did use to be a pub..
A "Night on the Town" takes only 11 minutes.
- hahaha.. and that's *walking* distance :)
The mayor had to annex property to eat a foot-long hot dog.
- we don't have a mayor.. and we have pretty sweet property, actually..
The New Year's baby was born in October.
- it wouldn't surprise me if the New Year's baby was born in July or August.
Running from the cops consists of hiding in the cornfield.
- that would imply that we had enough cops for them to chase people.. which we don't.
You have to name six surrounding towns to explain to people where you're from.
- more than six.. haha.. I have to name things at least 45 mins away for other VERMONTERS to know what I'm talking about.
There is no point in high-school reunions because everyone knows what everyone else is doing anyway.
- not true, because everyone moves away.
Driving cars up and down the main drag is a universal high school experience.
- pretty much.. yeah, Rt. 100!
You can name everyone you graduated with.
- I didn't go to high school there.. but I can name everyone that was in my yearbook..
You know what 4-H is.
- yep.
You ever went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt road.
- uhm, yeah.
You schedule parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you know which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't - same goes with the game warden.
- apparently other people did that.. I never partied, though.. there was no way to hide it from your parents in that town.
You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were and if you were old enough, they would still tell your folks.
- I never tried to buy cigarettes, 'cause I don't smoke.. but when I got my fishing permit renewed, they all knew how old I was.. haha.
It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town.
- yep.. everyone was ooh-ing and ahh-ing about Bethel boys.. for no good reason. I was only concerned with beating them in soccer, though.
You had senior skip day.
- we had that in Westhampton, MA too!
The whole school went to the same party after graduation.
- that totally happened with Westhampton, as well.
You don't give directions by street names or references (turn by Nelson's house, go two blocks to the Anderson's turn left and it's four houses left of the football field).
- we didn't have street names until they did that whole "we need street names for 911 calls" thing.
You can't help but date a friend's ex.
- 'tis true.. happened in Westhampton, too..
Your car stays filthy because of the dirt roads.
- pretty much.
Getting paid minimum wage is considered a great job.
- it depends.. if you're a waitress you can actually make a good amount in tips.
You refer to anyone with a house newer than 1980 as "rich" people.
- haha.. no, actually, anyone with a big enough farm is considered well-off. although owning a business in town is pretty good, too.
Anyone you want can be found at either the Dairy Queen or the feed store.
- we didn't have a Dairy Queen.. we met each other at the Cafe, the grocery store, or at the mini mart. we recently got a coffee shop.
You see at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town.
- haha.. all the time.
Football coaches suggest that you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.
- we didn't have football.
Directions are given using "the" stop light as a reference
- we only had a stop light once.. 'cause they were repairing a road, and needed to close one lane of traffic at a time.
Weekend excitement involves a trip to the grocery store.
- totally.. going into Rutland to one of those *big* grocery stores.. that was totally an event.
You decide to walk somewhere for exercise and 5 people pull over and ask if you need a ride.
- hahaha, that or I run into people and they want to tag along to wherever I'm going.. a lot of people walk to stuff to save money on gas.. since it's all within walking distance unless it's 45 mins away.. hehe.
Your teachers remember when they taught your parents.
- yeah.. good ol' Mr. Allen.. felt really old when he first got me as a student.. and realized he taught my dad. :)
The closest McDonald's is 45 minutes away.
- definitely.
So is the closest mall.
- I think it's farther than that, actually.. more like 50.
Everyone who played sports had to play on every type of team, or there wouldn't be enough people to have a team.
- that happened a lot.. but mostly we just didn't have tryouts.
You can remember when your town finally got cable.
- we still use satellite.. they only get cable down in the village.
The town population increases by one-third when the universities go on break.
- totally.
The best burgers in town are at the rink.
- we don't have a rink.. the best burgers (and the only burgers!) are at the Cafe..
You know exactly where to go when the party is at "the lake".
- we don't have a lake.. but when they throw a party down at "the bridge" we know where it is.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from a small town.
:)