Memories
I went through my memory box just now. it pretty much stops after senior year. there's a lot of pictures from when i was really little up to my senior year. stuff from old boyfriends, things they made me, bought me, wrote me. a picture of my horse and me. ect. I read through my old notes. they were primarily from zak. what a jackass i seemed like. i mean, you cared so much about me, and i just pushed you away. i don't really remember what happened between us. i remember me asking you out on christmas eve. i remember us breaking up a lot and getting back together. i don't remember why. i remember you taking me back and dumping me again within 4 hours. i remember you taking tara to prom instead of me. i remember you taking tara to the blink 182 concert instead of me.. i don't remember why we broke up. i was reading, and i know i didn't cheat on you, because i can't do that. but i sounded like i was about to, or came close to. something about chucks. i don't really remember what happened with that. but moral of my story is i'm sorry for treating you like shit. i feel like an asshole. yeah, it may have been like 5 years ago, but it still matters to me, because we're still friends. i love you, and i am touched that you cared so much about me. I wish i got it back then. I'm glad we're still friends. I will always love you zak. you'll always be my best friend over everyone. your in your own class, cuz you know stuff that no one out here knows. You've been there for me through so much. i just want you to know that i appreciate it. and i'm sorry if i hurt you, or treated you badly for so long.
I also found a picture of my and Pomona. Damn. After reading through our notes, she really was my entire life. I based everything around her. Even relationships. She did come first in my life, and if you fucked with our schedule, you were out. haha. insane.. absolutely insane how i left that. jus said 'see ya lata' and did band. i remember that picture. vaguely. but i remember it. it was so long ago. it was the best picture we ever took. haha.. (neither of us were very photogenic). But she looks terrific. I miss her. I miss every little flaw, every pain in the ass thing she did. I miss her cocky 'i'm beautiful' attitude, i miss her personality, i miss her perking up when she saw me, i miss just fucking around and chasing eachother around. how did i ever say goodbye?
In this box was also some pictures from the early drum corps days. Definatly a Denny's placemat.. lol with people's e-mail and phone numbers on it. i can't beleive we went to Denny's that morning. i wonder what i got.. lol. a few pictures of grant, and jordan and such friends. lol, oh those south dakotians. that was a mess. lol. poor jordan, i feel like an asshole about him too. he liked me so much but grant and i had to have a little fling. There's one week that i'll never forget.. new orleans with grant.. damn.. that was one of the best weeks ever, and had the potential to be the worst. lol. good times.. good times. and in the end, we didn't talk at all during tour. lmao.. anyway.. time to try to sleep.. goodnight..