On Acceptance
I've been on and off reading it ever since November'22. Mostly off, as there were months completely out of fandoms, namely November and February. And then the times when the story's progression went uprate precisely when I was more in the mood for T-rated fluff and vice versa. One has to be really attentive to their reading cycles and read in accordance to those to get maximum reader's delight.
So in the end it's only natural that now I loath to part with this story. It's been a constant companion during a number of other readings, a steady stabilizing anchor to be returning to from a book or a fic that made me unhappy with its quality - knowing a new dive into this story would be delivering just the right kind of joy, and entertainment, and engagement.
Despite its size, "Acceptance" doesn't look or feel huge. It only feels organic, like a gentle flow that you're allowing to take yourself and swim alongside its waves.
It, in fact, felt even lacking little moments at some points in the story. Above all, it definitely lacks CWN's POV - which indeed is presented in a chapter and a half when the scenario warps that way, and I'm thoroughly thankful to the author for introducing it - but oh the sheer idea of having MR's and CWN's POVs intermingle! The unbridled rapture of such a writer's choice!
Which makes me admire idrilka's "awake, o sleeper" even more, precisely for the rhythmic change of the focal points, that is like the heart pumping the lifeblood, ever the industrious inhale and exhale, yin and yang, cooperating, inseparable from each other.
CWN's POV would've been beneficial, imo, for better seeing MR on the outside. His growth is exciting as it already is, shown from the inside of his mind, but it's always more pronounced in a ranwan to get the both points of view. Then there're moments that are hardly fic-related but still surprized me - like apparently quite the toxic (twitter?) fashion of looking down upon the authors who reply to their commenters? For fear of making the comment count impure and untrue to some godly standard? That's been quite the revelation. Whoah. The unsurpassed shades of weirdness these days.
Another factor I would certainly like to address (and revel in it) is author's language. It's been a solid dozen years since the last time I've been so arduously engaged in upkeeping my vocabulary notes on Engrish language - this fic has literally prompted me to revisit this practice and learn about two hundred new words (maybe even three hundred?). From a single fic. Like oh dear.
That's truly been a MASSIVE job. Am yet to jot down everything I've got saved in the notes, and learn the translations. Felt like going through a particularly exciting TOEFL (naturally ranwan would make even your language exams exciting). Guess the author's location may have smth to do about the crazy refined level of the language in here. Le class.
Ye Wangxi is so beyond amazing in this story. Also her racing skills. I refuse to believe the finale abt Nangong Si, so in my happy little hc Jiang Xi gets to save him as well as CWN. Because Ye Wangxi is the queen, and deserves her own qijiu-blend of a decent fix-it (and by 79 I'm implying THAT THEY NEED THIS FIX-IT TOO, and also their childhood relationship that got considerably more COMPLICATED as years rolled by, and things unsaid and denied addressing only multiplied in their numbers).
Then of course the smut.
The bj MR is giving CWN is a piece of art in and on itself. Their unhinged wildness helps a lot in recognizing this story for very much IC ranwan, despite the initial veering quite a different route (in this reader's opinion, as is the entirety of this post). Then I've taken time to read ao3 comments pertaining to the "Always" chapter, and the unanimous choir of approval in the comments following it, yet my emotion's been mixed.
Because truly the sheer sky-high levels of gross an author can pull out due to their writing skills allowing all sorts of twisted insert itselves smoothly into the story - oh, this is a sight to behold. The unsettling uneasiness (to put it mildly) has been real and skin-crawling about what preceded this CWN's first time of a penetrative coupling. All-encompassing even. There's apparently been some debate quenched, and a mild upheaval in between the lines, and oh dear do I relate to those who had to experience the uneasy part of it.
It felt like tables turning - no sign of OOC because this isn't about one, but very much within the already carefully developed character instead - making the situation all the more believeable and thusly creepy where it was designed to be arousing. In a peculiar, not so usual way. Alas not all readers emphasize on a CWN level of being attuned to MR and MR alone, but that's to be expected, if anything.
Yes, of course the story then rubs off on the reader, and the ruffled jimmies get to return to their previous state of unrustled eventually, but that moment was really a sharp blade, and a reader temporarily became a patented blade runner to escape the weight of all the connotations combined.
The smut scenes before and after that crucial happening - are all top notch, without the need of running any kind of ambiguity blades. They may be decribed as the fluffy kind of nice gross, as the author puts it, but ultimately they're delicious in a very wholesome and enjoyable way.
A carnal ranwan of deepest affections, and the dramatically gorgeous author's language, their attention to physical detail, the colours ever-changing (their names and apt metaphors - a constant and consistent source of my deepest enjoyment!), the ever overwhelming, overflowing celebration of the human body, the skin, the sound, the sweat and the movement, a symphony of unprecedented detailing, a true feast.
Truly a very rare case for a fanfic to be written with SUCH attention to smut (and it's not even a PWP, not in the slightest, but a very balanced story) - contrasting so much with more generic takes on the mechanics, an eye-opener to the fluidity (all puns intended) of the language when it comes (all the more puns intended) to describing the act of such a thorough loving, body and soul, intertwined in the most intimate, precious way.
So of course I'm thankful for this reading experience. The rich scenario, right-into-your-face realism, almost a tactile quality to the letters on the screen, so many little and bigger things to learn and to appreciate about how a story can be written.
So in the end it's only natural that now I loath to part with this story. It's been a constant companion during a number of other readings, a steady stabilizing anchor to be returning to from a book or a fic that made me unhappy with its quality - knowing a new dive into this story would be delivering just the right kind of joy, and entertainment, and engagement.
Despite its size, "Acceptance" doesn't look or feel huge. It only feels organic, like a gentle flow that you're allowing to take yourself and swim alongside its waves.
It, in fact, felt even lacking little moments at some points in the story. Above all, it definitely lacks CWN's POV - which indeed is presented in a chapter and a half when the scenario warps that way, and I'm thoroughly thankful to the author for introducing it - but oh the sheer idea of having MR's and CWN's POVs intermingle! The unbridled rapture of such a writer's choice!
Which makes me admire idrilka's "awake, o sleeper" even more, precisely for the rhythmic change of the focal points, that is like the heart pumping the lifeblood, ever the industrious inhale and exhale, yin and yang, cooperating, inseparable from each other.
CWN's POV would've been beneficial, imo, for better seeing MR on the outside. His growth is exciting as it already is, shown from the inside of his mind, but it's always more pronounced in a ranwan to get the both points of view. Then there're moments that are hardly fic-related but still surprized me - like apparently quite the toxic (twitter?) fashion of looking down upon the authors who reply to their commenters? For fear of making the comment count impure and untrue to some godly standard? That's been quite the revelation. Whoah. The unsurpassed shades of weirdness these days.
Another factor I would certainly like to address (and revel in it) is author's language. It's been a solid dozen years since the last time I've been so arduously engaged in upkeeping my vocabulary notes on Engrish language - this fic has literally prompted me to revisit this practice and learn about two hundred new words (maybe even three hundred?). From a single fic. Like oh dear.
That's truly been a MASSIVE job. Am yet to jot down everything I've got saved in the notes, and learn the translations. Felt like going through a particularly exciting TOEFL (naturally ranwan would make even your language exams exciting). Guess the author's location may have smth to do about the crazy refined level of the language in here. Le class.
Ye Wangxi is so beyond amazing in this story. Also her racing skills. I refuse to believe the finale abt Nangong Si, so in my happy little hc Jiang Xi gets to save him as well as CWN. Because Ye Wangxi is the queen, and deserves her own qijiu-blend of a decent fix-it (and by 79 I'm implying THAT THEY NEED THIS FIX-IT TOO, and also their childhood relationship that got considerably more COMPLICATED as years rolled by, and things unsaid and denied addressing only multiplied in their numbers).
Then of course the smut.
The bj MR is giving CWN is a piece of art in and on itself. Their unhinged wildness helps a lot in recognizing this story for very much IC ranwan, despite the initial veering quite a different route (in this reader's opinion, as is the entirety of this post). Then I've taken time to read ao3 comments pertaining to the "Always" chapter, and the unanimous choir of approval in the comments following it, yet my emotion's been mixed.
Because truly the sheer sky-high levels of gross an author can pull out due to their writing skills allowing all sorts of twisted insert itselves smoothly into the story - oh, this is a sight to behold. The unsettling uneasiness (to put it mildly) has been real and skin-crawling about what preceded this CWN's first time of a penetrative coupling. All-encompassing even. There's apparently been some debate quenched, and a mild upheaval in between the lines, and oh dear do I relate to those who had to experience the uneasy part of it.
It felt like tables turning - no sign of OOC because this isn't about one, but very much within the already carefully developed character instead - making the situation all the more believeable and thusly creepy where it was designed to be arousing. In a peculiar, not so usual way. Alas not all readers emphasize on a CWN level of being attuned to MR and MR alone, but that's to be expected, if anything.
Yes, of course the story then rubs off on the reader, and the ruffled jimmies get to return to their previous state of unrustled eventually, but that moment was really a sharp blade, and a reader temporarily became a patented blade runner to escape the weight of all the connotations combined.
The smut scenes before and after that crucial happening - are all top notch, without the need of running any kind of ambiguity blades. They may be decribed as the fluffy kind of nice gross, as the author puts it, but ultimately they're delicious in a very wholesome and enjoyable way.
A carnal ranwan of deepest affections, and the dramatically gorgeous author's language, their attention to physical detail, the colours ever-changing (their names and apt metaphors - a constant and consistent source of my deepest enjoyment!), the ever overwhelming, overflowing celebration of the human body, the skin, the sound, the sweat and the movement, a symphony of unprecedented detailing, a true feast.
Truly a very rare case for a fanfic to be written with SUCH attention to smut (and it's not even a PWP, not in the slightest, but a very balanced story) - contrasting so much with more generic takes on the mechanics, an eye-opener to the fluidity (all puns intended) of the language when it comes (all the more puns intended) to describing the act of such a thorough loving, body and soul, intertwined in the most intimate, precious way.
So of course I'm thankful for this reading experience. The rich scenario, right-into-your-face realism, almost a tactile quality to the letters on the screen, so many little and bigger things to learn and to appreciate about how a story can be written.