Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk... Massive FFVII rambling.
So I've gathered the intelligence that if you actually play the original FFVII game, the FanFics about it make a hell of a lot more sense. =D
LMAO.
Cause like, it's the little things really. Sure I know everyone was looking for Sephiroth and Aerith made Cloud dress in drag to save Tifa's asstits and all that.
But when a fic mentions AVALANCHE saving the big ass candor egg on top of Fort Candor from the ShinRa soldiers, I ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THEIR TALKING ABOUT. Cause, you know, I played that part.
Though I'm only at Gold Saucer right now, I still understand shit a lot better.
AND OMFG when I was trying to find Yuffie. Ohhh my gaaawddd. I swear to Shiva's thong that shit was ridiculous. You have to wander around in a forest area on the world map until she comes up as a random encounter.
[TWENTY FUCKING BATTLES LATER]
I find her!!!!
And I was screaming my ass off. SHE'S JUST SO CUTE. She's my favorite ninja outside of Naruto. :3 And then whenever you get her in your group (and since you can name everyone) I named her "Rock Lee" xDD I mean, her shirt is green, and has short black hair, and black eyes, why not? xD
But anyway. Then whenever I had my first random encounter with her, MORE SCREAMING. She may be 16, but fuck, 12 year old kids in Naruto are kick ass, why can't Yuffie be? I LOVE HER.
And the whole time I'm spazzing about this... (and btw, she's an optional character, so if you don't go looking for her, you never find her) I realize...
If I'm fapping this much over Yuffie, can you even comprehend what I'm going to do when I get Vincent? (who is also an optional character btw) I apologize in advance to anyone within 20 miles to hear me scream my tits off. But that's still a fuck load away. And even tho Gold Saucer looks like fun, I'm not too delighted that it's just a giant ass Chuck E. Cheese. You have to buy fucking GP (the currency at this place like Chuck E. Cheese tokens) with your hard earned gil just so you can spend a night in a ghost-themed hotel and ride gondolas and shit. Urgh...
Okay, so since I'm on the topic. Lets talk about what I've named everyone else. >:D
Cloud: ChocoHead (cause of his hair, obviously)
Barret: Mr.T (cause he fucking is)
Tifa: Titties (STILL obviously, her tits are huge)
Aerith: Zombitch (cause she dies, and now that I play the game, she is a bit of a bitch)
Red XIII: Simba (just cause)
((and I just heard someone shoot off a firework, go the fuck to bed))
So now, we move on to a part in the game. It's where Cloud, Tifa, and Barret infiltrate the ShinRa HQ to save Aerith, and they also find Nanaki(who is named Red XIII by Hojo, the fucker). But whenever you get Aerith back and she's thinking Barret for saving her or some shit, I can't remember cause I didn't give a fuck, the follow dialogue ensues:
[actual supposed-to-be]
Aerith: ...thank you, Mr. Barret!
Barret: Who you callin' Mr. Barret? That don't sound right!
[with my custom names]
Zombitch: ...thank you Mr. Mr.T!
Mr.T: Who you callin' Mr. Mr.T? That don't sound right!
LMAO NO IT DOESN'T, BUT IT'S AMAZING. x'D
And there are just fun moments with my custom name for Tifa.
Also, before you can get Yuffie and AVALANCHE is in Kalm, and Cloud talks about the time in Nibelheim when Sephiroth lost it, you can wander around in the past. Which is 5 years ago jsyk. And might I say, it's kinda weird to do this. Cause I played Crisis Core before FFVII, so I know what really happened.
I'll be nice and say I'm gonna give away spoilers, if any creep reads my LJ and doesn't know much about FFVII. P=
But in FFVII, Cloud is telling everyone about how he, Sephiroth, and two SOLDIER Third Class's were sent on a mission in Nibelheim. You pretty much control Cloud, making him go places that he talks about. And lmao, you can go to Tifa's house and steal her underwear and rock the fuck out on her piano. (Cloud and Tifa are from Nibelheim, fyi). You can also visit Cloud's mom's house, but it's all choppy and the scenes cut up cause he can't remember it much. Or doesn't want to rather.
But anyway, the actual story line stuff, like talking to Sephiroth and going to the mako reactor in Mt. Nibel and finding JENOVA, and finding Sephiroth in the ShinRa manor, is what counts. BUT. Cloud is telling it like he was the one doing it all.
When actually, it was Zack. But to everyone who knows, Cloud was pretending to be the person Zack was, and lying to everyone. So just saying, it's weird to have played Crisis Core and done everything as Zack, then to go and play FFVII as Cloud. It's just.. well fucking weird. Mostly also, cause one of the SOLDIER Third Class's was Cloud, but Cloud is telling the story like he's Zack,and Zack talked to Cloud on numerous occasions, so Cloud tells it like he's talking to himself. Which is confusing now that I try to explain it. And it makes it even creepier when the dialogue is exactly the same in both games.
Major spoilers end I guess?? W/e this whole entry is spoilers.
So, to what I was headed for this whole time.
In Crisis Core, when you're playing as Zack, of course, you go searching for Sephiroth after he disappeared from the inn. So you go the ShinRa manor outside the town, and find the way into the basement, eventually to the library where Sephiroth is reading the junk about the Cetra, JENOVA, Project S., etc.
But along the way to the library, there's the room with all the coffins. =3 And in CC you have to kill fiends in the basement until they drop keys to open the coffins. And if you open the right coffin, it goes to a small cutscene where Zack unlocks the coffin, and the lid starts to slide off... but before you see anything it cuts to Zack looking at the coffin and you can't see in the coffin do to the angle. >_> But Zack says, "S-someone's sleeping in there... maybe... I should leave him alone..." and lid slides back on.
And if you're a dumbass, the guy in the coffin is Vincent.
Anyway. I loved that they put that easter egg in there even if they didn't really show Vincent. So, in FFVII, when you're running along as Cloud to the library, you pass by the door to the coffin room. And I got all excited just wanting to go in the room. BUT YOU CAN FUCKING GO IN THERE. But mother fucker you can fucking SEE Vincent's coffin, but you can't go in the room.
GAWD I was so pissed. OH WELL. I get to go back 5 billion years later and wake his sorry ass up. I already found his Peacemaker gun in Kalm, so bitch had better join my group when I find him.
-sigh-
So anyway. I guess that's all I had to bitch and moan about. When I get farther in the game I'll prolly be back for more. Lol.
ALSO. I mean to do another picspam of The Hobbit production video number two~ =)))))))) And is it just me, or did watching it this time around go by SUPER FUCKING fast? It didn't seem like 10 minutes... but I was still pleased. ^-^
Until next time, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk... *steals your materia and runs away*
(LOL Firefox corrects nyuk as NyQuil. XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD)
LMAO.
Cause like, it's the little things really. Sure I know everyone was looking for Sephiroth and Aerith made Cloud dress in drag to save Tifa's asstits and all that.
But when a fic mentions AVALANCHE saving the big ass candor egg on top of Fort Candor from the ShinRa soldiers, I ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THEIR TALKING ABOUT. Cause, you know, I played that part.
Though I'm only at Gold Saucer right now, I still understand shit a lot better.
AND OMFG when I was trying to find Yuffie. Ohhh my gaaawddd. I swear to Shiva's thong that shit was ridiculous. You have to wander around in a forest area on the world map until she comes up as a random encounter.
[TWENTY FUCKING BATTLES LATER]
I find her!!!!
And I was screaming my ass off. SHE'S JUST SO CUTE. She's my favorite ninja outside of Naruto. :3 And then whenever you get her in your group (and since you can name everyone) I named her "Rock Lee" xDD I mean, her shirt is green, and has short black hair, and black eyes, why not? xD
But anyway. Then whenever I had my first random encounter with her, MORE SCREAMING. She may be 16, but fuck, 12 year old kids in Naruto are kick ass, why can't Yuffie be? I LOVE HER.
And the whole time I'm spazzing about this... (and btw, she's an optional character, so if you don't go looking for her, you never find her) I realize...
If I'm fapping this much over Yuffie, can you even comprehend what I'm going to do when I get Vincent? (who is also an optional character btw) I apologize in advance to anyone within 20 miles to hear me scream my tits off. But that's still a fuck load away. And even tho Gold Saucer looks like fun, I'm not too delighted that it's just a giant ass Chuck E. Cheese. You have to buy fucking GP (the currency at this place like Chuck E. Cheese tokens) with your hard earned gil just so you can spend a night in a ghost-themed hotel and ride gondolas and shit. Urgh...
Okay, so since I'm on the topic. Lets talk about what I've named everyone else. >:D
Cloud: ChocoHead (cause of his hair, obviously)
Barret: Mr.T (cause he fucking is)
Tifa: Titties (STILL obviously, her tits are huge)
Aerith: Zombitch (cause she dies, and now that I play the game, she is a bit of a bitch)
Red XIII: Simba (just cause)
((and I just heard someone shoot off a firework, go the fuck to bed))
So now, we move on to a part in the game. It's where Cloud, Tifa, and Barret infiltrate the ShinRa HQ to save Aerith, and they also find Nanaki(who is named Red XIII by Hojo, the fucker). But whenever you get Aerith back and she's thinking Barret for saving her or some shit, I can't remember cause I didn't give a fuck, the follow dialogue ensues:
[actual supposed-to-be]
Aerith: ...thank you, Mr. Barret!
Barret: Who you callin' Mr. Barret? That don't sound right!
[with my custom names]
Zombitch: ...thank you Mr. Mr.T!
Mr.T: Who you callin' Mr. Mr.T? That don't sound right!
LMAO NO IT DOESN'T, BUT IT'S AMAZING. x'D
And there are just fun moments with my custom name for Tifa.
Also, before you can get Yuffie and AVALANCHE is in Kalm, and Cloud talks about the time in Nibelheim when Sephiroth lost it, you can wander around in the past. Which is 5 years ago jsyk. And might I say, it's kinda weird to do this. Cause I played Crisis Core before FFVII, so I know what really happened.
I'll be nice and say I'm gonna give away spoilers, if any creep reads my LJ and doesn't know much about FFVII. P=
But in FFVII, Cloud is telling everyone about how he, Sephiroth, and two SOLDIER Third Class's were sent on a mission in Nibelheim. You pretty much control Cloud, making him go places that he talks about. And lmao, you can go to Tifa's house and steal her underwear and rock the fuck out on her piano. (Cloud and Tifa are from Nibelheim, fyi). You can also visit Cloud's mom's house, but it's all choppy and the scenes cut up cause he can't remember it much. Or doesn't want to rather.
But anyway, the actual story line stuff, like talking to Sephiroth and going to the mako reactor in Mt. Nibel and finding JENOVA, and finding Sephiroth in the ShinRa manor, is what counts. BUT. Cloud is telling it like he was the one doing it all.
When actually, it was Zack. But to everyone who knows, Cloud was pretending to be the person Zack was, and lying to everyone. So just saying, it's weird to have played Crisis Core and done everything as Zack, then to go and play FFVII as Cloud. It's just.. well fucking weird. Mostly also, cause one of the SOLDIER Third Class's was Cloud, but Cloud is telling the story like he's Zack,and Zack talked to Cloud on numerous occasions, so Cloud tells it like he's talking to himself. Which is confusing now that I try to explain it. And it makes it even creepier when the dialogue is exactly the same in both games.
Major spoilers end I guess?? W/e this whole entry is spoilers.
So, to what I was headed for this whole time.
In Crisis Core, when you're playing as Zack, of course, you go searching for Sephiroth after he disappeared from the inn. So you go the ShinRa manor outside the town, and find the way into the basement, eventually to the library where Sephiroth is reading the junk about the Cetra, JENOVA, Project S., etc.
But along the way to the library, there's the room with all the coffins. =3 And in CC you have to kill fiends in the basement until they drop keys to open the coffins. And if you open the right coffin, it goes to a small cutscene where Zack unlocks the coffin, and the lid starts to slide off... but before you see anything it cuts to Zack looking at the coffin and you can't see in the coffin do to the angle. >_> But Zack says, "S-someone's sleeping in there... maybe... I should leave him alone..." and lid slides back on.
And if you're a dumbass, the guy in the coffin is Vincent.
Anyway. I loved that they put that easter egg in there even if they didn't really show Vincent. So, in FFVII, when you're running along as Cloud to the library, you pass by the door to the coffin room. And I got all excited just wanting to go in the room. BUT YOU CAN FUCKING GO IN THERE. But mother fucker you can fucking SEE Vincent's coffin, but you can't go in the room.
GAWD I was so pissed. OH WELL. I get to go back 5 billion years later and wake his sorry ass up. I already found his Peacemaker gun in Kalm, so bitch had better join my group when I find him.
-sigh-
So anyway. I guess that's all I had to bitch and moan about. When I get farther in the game I'll prolly be back for more. Lol.
ALSO. I mean to do another picspam of The Hobbit production video number two~ =)))))))) And is it just me, or did watching it this time around go by SUPER FUCKING fast? It didn't seem like 10 minutes... but I was still pleased. ^-^
Until next time, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk... *steals your materia and runs away*
(LOL Firefox corrects nyuk as NyQuil. XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD)