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Light in the dark as I search for the resolution.
All I've been doing tonight is watching Rescue Me. I put off doing schoolwork, even though I know I should. I can do it tomorrow while I'm on lunch break at work. I need to clean my room before Friday.
I've come to the conclusion that giving up seems easiest. I faltered tonight, I missed that feeling, missed feeling warm with my best friend next to ( Read more... ) -
will you sleep tonight or will you think of me?
will i sleep tonight?
i just want to be left alone. one of the very few people i want to talk to and be around wants nothing to do with me. why is this happening? why? i thought i was over it. at least i was good at saying i was. i'm doing this all wrong. everything's upside down. it's 2am and i'm having a serious fucking breakdown.
i wish my mom ( Read more... ) -
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I'm sorry, I just simply cannot force myself to give a shit about things that are no longer directly affecting my every day life. Am I still attempting to deal with everything that happened the first six months of this year? Yes. However, my life doesn't revolve around it ( Read more... ) -
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& I bet you've got every word I said memorized in your head and you'll use every one of them against me. I hope you choke on every word you spoke when you were screaming and realize how many times I've tried, but that's just wishful thinking. All I want is an apology for what you did and how you treated me. Get me as far away, or at least as far as ( Read more... ) -
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I learned to live half alive, now you want me one more time. Who do you think you are? Running around leaving scars, collecting your jar of hearts.
I haven't felt this alone in a long while. I was very, very wrong - again. -
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After last Thursday's discussion about what we actually are, prefaced by panic attacks and crying, and last night's conversation, it is definitely a Swellers day.
I just want to disappear for awhile. -
tune out.
i'm currently sitting in my bed, interventions and lullabies is playing, my calculus homework is sprawled out in random places, my foot on top of a couple of blankets (i'm too stubborn to give up my pillows). this bed is too big for just me, this town is too small. yesterday, i had a doctor's appointment in new milford and, due to my driving ( Read more... ) -
Over it.
Everything's always my fault. -
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I know this is the beginning of the end. It kills me.
Happy 99th Great Grandma. I'd give so much for you to be here.
