dumps another excuse for angst
pairing: Joon/Mir
warning: angst. of a sort. i suppose. and character death. yea. whatever. ::stabs angst attempts::
Wind rustled the bare branches. Snow flakes twisting and twirling in the cold current. He lifted a bare hand to catch the wandering, whirling flakes. Felt the chill and the damp seep into his palm, numbing his hand in the winter wind. He wondered if he could open his chest and expose his heart to the same numbing cold. Numbness could only be preferable to the persistent burn in the vicinity of his heart.
A smile flashed through his mind before shattering in the icy air. Pain, sharp and ragged, sliced through him and drove him to his knees on the snow-dusted ground. He’d tried to bury that smile, that voice in the basement of his memory but, like a zombie in his mind, the smile, that voice kept unearthing itself. Some would call it a ghost but really it was a zombie slowly eating away his mind.
Like the fire in his chest was slowly burning away his heart.
Wet slid down his cheeks and he convinced himself the drops were melting flakes. He convinced himself he wasn’t hurting, wasn’t slowly going insane from it.
“I love you, Mireu.” A hand ruffled his hair. That voice penetrated his slowly numbing mind.
“Joon? Changsun-ah.” He glanced up into the sparkling eyes he’d longed to see for an eternity now.
“Don’t cry, Mireu. I love you.” Joon crouched next to him and he slid into the other’s embrace.
“I love you too, Joonie.” He rubbed a hand absently over his chest, noting the lack of burning. “I’ve been so hurt. So lonely.”
The words crackled through the frigid night and felt strange on his tongue. His mind felt heavy. “Why have I hurt so much? Why have I been so lonely?”
Joon’s arms tightened. “Distance does that to people in love, Mireu. It tugs heart strings, sometimes to the point of breaking them.”
Confused, Mir pulled back from Joon’s chest to stare at him. “What distance, Joonie? We’ve been together almost constantly for years.”
Joon smiled but it wasn’t the smile that had haunted Mir for so long. Haunted? Mir wondered. The smile was solemn, almost sad.
“Years and years, Mireu. So long our heart strings have tangled together. Severing them is a pain worse than death.”
Death. The word echoed through Mir’s brain.
Spinning backwards in time, he watched the years, the memories reel past him. Snippets of arguments, snapshots of joy, sound bites of laughter peppered the colored, the sepia, the black and white scenes of a lifetime.
warning: angst. of a sort. i suppose. and character death. yea. whatever. ::stabs angst attempts::
Wind rustled the bare branches. Snow flakes twisting and twirling in the cold current. He lifted a bare hand to catch the wandering, whirling flakes. Felt the chill and the damp seep into his palm, numbing his hand in the winter wind. He wondered if he could open his chest and expose his heart to the same numbing cold. Numbness could only be preferable to the persistent burn in the vicinity of his heart.
A smile flashed through his mind before shattering in the icy air. Pain, sharp and ragged, sliced through him and drove him to his knees on the snow-dusted ground. He’d tried to bury that smile, that voice in the basement of his memory but, like a zombie in his mind, the smile, that voice kept unearthing itself. Some would call it a ghost but really it was a zombie slowly eating away his mind.
Like the fire in his chest was slowly burning away his heart.
Wet slid down his cheeks and he convinced himself the drops were melting flakes. He convinced himself he wasn’t hurting, wasn’t slowly going insane from it.
“I love you, Mireu.” A hand ruffled his hair. That voice penetrated his slowly numbing mind.
“Joon? Changsun-ah.” He glanced up into the sparkling eyes he’d longed to see for an eternity now.
“Don’t cry, Mireu. I love you.” Joon crouched next to him and he slid into the other’s embrace.
“I love you too, Joonie.” He rubbed a hand absently over his chest, noting the lack of burning. “I’ve been so hurt. So lonely.”
The words crackled through the frigid night and felt strange on his tongue. His mind felt heavy. “Why have I hurt so much? Why have I been so lonely?”
Joon’s arms tightened. “Distance does that to people in love, Mireu. It tugs heart strings, sometimes to the point of breaking them.”
Confused, Mir pulled back from Joon’s chest to stare at him. “What distance, Joonie? We’ve been together almost constantly for years.”
Joon smiled but it wasn’t the smile that had haunted Mir for so long. Haunted? Mir wondered. The smile was solemn, almost sad.
“Years and years, Mireu. So long our heart strings have tangled together. Severing them is a pain worse than death.”
Death. The word echoed through Mir’s brain.
Spinning backwards in time, he watched the years, the memories reel past him. Snippets of arguments, snapshots of joy, sound bites of laughter peppered the colored, the sepia, the black and white scenes of a lifetime.