Comments | jesussavesdr: My Memoir

jesussavesdr

My Memoir

Sep 12, 2006 18:19

This post is actually a document that was assigned by my English teacher. It was an essay about a picture recalling a memory, so my picture was of Joel and Tim on the beach playing football on a sunny day. Take a moment and just read what God had inspired me to write and recall about one special vacation I took to spend my week with them. Enjoy ( Read more... )

Comments 6

its better latonjoel September 14 2006, 05:12:51 UTC

I am still surprised at how good you're getting at writing, you have a very natural almost poetic style. and i like the quotes around the salty coolness, haha. i guess some of my improvements made it, while some didnt..oh well
its definitely better than the first copy, grade of A
you give me and tim more credit than is deserved, but u did say the best friend u could ever have is in Christ, He most definitely deserves that title.

Re: its better latonjoel September 16 2006, 15:48:59 UTC

it's a bit on the sappy side though, thats my only problem. but what the heck, i'm only the star of the show, dont listen to me

Re: its better jesussavesdr September 17 2006, 04:36:09 UTC

it's snappy, i don't see. please give examples from the text "as my teacher would say" You are quite the man in red, lol, along with brother Tim. So don't be yourself up too much, i think you should gain a little pride..... see yah, God Bless.

latonjoel September 17 2006, 18:02:38 UTC

i said "sappy" not "snappy"
"I had finally made it to the check-in kiosk, to look around and saw my two brothers with a long face. Their faces of joy and gladness were replaced with sorrow and pain. I walked with them to the security gate. On our walk to the security gate you would have thought we were three ‘gay lovers’. "

is that sappy enough for you? oh well, you're a hopeless romantic, just marry a girl with an "even keel", as the expression goes. dont get one as crazy and sappy as you, it will be hard, i admit, because i have all the good ones already, so good luck!

please keep our group (University Christian Outreach) in your prayers, we're trying to do something truly great for our Lord, but it is so easy to forget what the Lord has already done for us. On the college campus, you know as well as I it is hard to "seek first the Kingdom of God".

timmyd16 September 25 2006, 21:07:41 UTC

Ok dray.. i read it.. i am impressed with your grammer... bravo... but then I read your response to Joels comments.. thats the old writing I know from dray... haha.. I though it was very good, nice work.. i agree though... the gay part can get cut for the final final final draft.. haha..

Thanks. jesussavesdr September 27 2006, 00:28:40 UTC

Well Tim, I didn't think you could get into LJ, or was that an excuse to not look at my journal lol. JK. Well i konw how u work, your not the "innocent" timmy you got everyone fooled to be.....lol. Well the gay part is symbolic i feel, not gay as in homosexual but God knows how i felt, and thats all that matters. Yes i do improve my grammar a lot on the finals and papers for school, but why in the heck should i clean up for you guys, your family and i don't have to clean up for my family. So why start now? Well bro, it's been great praying with you and i can't wait til next year, maybe then i'll get the energy to face God's will for me, lol. Sometimes i think i'm going completely against Him and then others i feel like i'm walking behind Him, but there are others u know, when i fee like i'm walking with him.... well i went on and on just for you, i can't wait to hear you talk about how much i ramble on lol...... i do it just for you and u don't even notice it lol. God Bless bro, D-Ray.