Second, I suppose it might have been different before your modifications to Hurston, but Tatiana never gave me a damsel-in-distress vibe, for whatever that's worth. She ended up in trouble and having to be collected at times because she's the go-getter of the bunch, the proactive and aggressive risk-taker, and the one who does fights, arguments, negotiations, and confrontations. And... not the one with (as in physically with, as opposed to possession of) the getaway vehicle. Not to downplay Kid's role or skills, but he usually drives the transportation, not the plot.
Third, Patel. As the story stands, it seems like they don't really trust her so much as they aren't willing to kill her and don't know what else to do with her. Which seems plausible, though it could be fleshed out a bit more.
Fourth, did I miss/forget Qaf's mother getting any kind of message about her daughter moving out?
Thanks! And thanks so much for reading along this whole time :D
Yeah, I think part of it is knowing how I was originally planning the Hurston thing to play out. As I actually wrote it, I gave her much more active agency in escaping, and I think the story is better for it.
For Patel, I don't think they would kill her, but I don't think they would've had a problem with leaving her on Davis or Shakur. I sort of wrote through the debate myself with Tatiana and Kid's discussions about her; that's solved plot problems before, but it didn't help so much here. I don't want to write her out entirely, because she's one of my favorite characters, actually (I knew most of her backstory even before I started writing), but... idk. Like I said, I'll have to give it more thought.
*wince* I may not have written that part in. There was about half an hour when they were going from Deck 114 to Hold Steady where she could've easily contacted her mother; I'll probably add it in there.
*considers* It seems to me that while there are advantages to not having her with them, there are also hazards to it -- namely, then they have no idea what she's doing. Although if you keep Hold Steady's memory banks intact and just get them stuck because of the first place they went, she'd have more trouble tracking them. Hm.
Yeah, I guess another option would be to skip it forward: make this arc about Jolee, and then have Patel + Smith&Nguyen show up the arc after that, after everyone's tempers have cooled down and it's more obvious that Patel really isn't working for the Consortium anymore. OTOH, I'd also wanted them to run into the Bastard again at some future point, so I don't know how many chance meetings I could plausibly throw in there.
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First, congratulations. :)
Second, I suppose it might have been different before your modifications to Hurston, but Tatiana never gave me a damsel-in-distress vibe, for whatever that's worth. She ended up in trouble and having to be collected at times because she's the go-getter of the bunch, the proactive and aggressive risk-taker, and the one who does fights, arguments, negotiations, and confrontations. And... not the one with (as in physically with, as opposed to possession of) the getaway vehicle. Not to downplay Kid's role or skills, but he usually drives the transportation, not the plot.
Third, Patel. As the story stands, it seems like they don't really trust her so much as they aren't willing to kill her and don't know what else to do with her. Which seems plausible, though it could be fleshed out a bit more.
Fourth, did I miss/forget Qaf's mother getting any kind of message about her daughter moving out?
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Yeah, I think part of it is knowing how I was originally planning the Hurston thing to play out. As I actually wrote it, I gave her much more active agency in escaping, and I think the story is better for it.
For Patel, I don't think they would kill her, but I don't think they would've had a problem with leaving her on Davis or Shakur. I sort of wrote through the debate myself with Tatiana and Kid's discussions about her; that's solved plot problems before, but it didn't help so much here. I don't want to write her out entirely, because she's one of my favorite characters, actually (I knew most of her backstory even before I started writing), but... idk. Like I said, I'll have to give it more thought.
*wince* I may not have written that part in. There was about half an hour when they were going from Deck 114 to Hold Steady where she could've easily contacted her mother; I'll probably add it in there.
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