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While I was talking about people who try to fill up their lives with stuff I reminded myself of an old friend, Mr. Gerald. Mr. Gerald was one of my mom's boyfriends for a short while and he was honestly the sweetest man I knew. He was much older than my mom (he was in his late 50's while she was in her mid-40's) and he had these thick thick glasses. Gerald was a bit odd though due to a mild stroke he had years ago. Thing is, he had so much stuff in his house. He constantly ordered stuff from the Home Shopping channel. Looking back, I can see it was because he was so lonely. All this stuff he bought, it was his way of trying to fill a gap in his heart which was a huge gap because he had the biggest heart I've ever seen. I truly believe he loved my mother. Even when she broke up with him he still cared about her. The more amazing thing is, he loved me and Taylor too. Most boyfriends only like us as far as the relationship goes; guy gets a date we get a handshake, guy gets a kiss we get friendly banter, guy gets my mom in bed we get christmas/b-day presents. I hate getting presents from boyfriends. Wasn't the same with Gerald. He liked us from the beginning and when he called he would specifically ask to talk to us just to see how we were doing. When my mom broke up with him, Gerald still liked us. He even sent me a wonderful graduation gift. The man liked everyone. Conversely, everyone liked him. He would spontaeneously buy gifts for people for no reason at all. He would bring over silly toys for taylor and James, even baby toys for James' niece Maya, whom Gerald barely knew. One time when my mom "won" a trip to Florida Gerald brought us to Books-a-Million for some reading material for the road. We got all kinds of comic strip books that cost him way more than it should have, but he never batted an eye because he wanted us to be happy. God, that's so rare in people today. He just liked being around people. There was nothing fake about him, he really cared.
I guess the reason I brought this all up is because Mr. Gerald died a little over a year ago and it has haunted me so much. He died of a heart attack in his home. No one found him for 5 days. Lord, it meant that he died alone and no one noticed for the better half of a week. It's not the way a man like Gerald should have gone. The thing that haunts me the most though is that I never got the chance to tell him I love him. He was such a kind-hearted man to my family and the only boyfriend who ever really cared about me, Taylor, and James, but i never told him I love him. I didn't get to say goodbye either. I was up here at school. I wish I could have seen him one last time, you know, just to let him know. I wish he could've met Gracie just once, he would have loved her so much, and she would have loved to play with those glasses of his.
Forgive this depressing post everyone. When I was typing that last one a flood of memories came back to me. I miss him. I am happy to say though, that I don't really have any much else in the way of unexpected deaths of close friends, so you won't start getting a mass of depressing cut-text on your friend's page.
Anyways, Good night. Sweet Dreams. God Bless.